"Come," cried he, advancing to us, "you ladies must not sit together; wherever I go I always make it a rule to part the ladies."
And then, handing Miss Branghton to the next chair, he seated himself between us.
"Well, now, ladies, I think we sit very well. What say you? for my part I think it was a very good motion."
"If my cousin likes it," said Miss Branghton, "I"m sure I"ve no objection."
"O," cried he, "I always study what the ladies like,-that"s my first thought. And, indeed, it is but natural that you should like best to sit by the gentlemen, for what can you find to say to one another?"
"Say!" cried young Branghton; "O, never you think of that, they"ll find enough to say, I"ll be sworn. You know the women are never tired of talking."
"Come, come, Tom," said Mr. Smith, "don"t be severe upon the ladies; when I"m by, you know I always take their part."
Soon after, when Miss Branghton offered me some cake, this man of gallantry said, "Well, if I was that lady, I"d never take any thing from a woman."
"Why not, Sir?"
"Because I should be afraid of being poisoned for being so handsome."
"Who is severe upon the ladies now?" said I.
"Why, really, Ma"am, it was a slip of the tongue; I did not intend to say such a thing; but one can"t always be on one"s guard."
Soon after, the conversation turning upon public places, young Branghton asked if I had ever been to George"s at Hampstead?
"Indeed, I never heard the place mentioned."
"Didn"t you, Miss," cried he eagerly; "why, then you"ve a deal of fun to come, I"ll promise you; and, I tell you what, I"ll treat you there some Sunday, soon. So now, Bid and Poll, be sure you don"t tell Miss about the chairs, and all that, for I"ve a mind to surprise her; and if I pay, I think I"ve a right to have it my own way."
"George"s at Hampstead!" repeated Mr. Smith contemptuously; "how came you to think the young lady would like to go to such a low place as that! But, pray, Ma"am, have you ever been to Don Saltero"s at Chelsea?"
"No, Sir."
"No!-nay, then I must insist on having the pleasure of conducting you there before long. I a.s.sure you, Ma"am, many genteel people go, or else, I give you my word, I should not recommend it."
"Pray, cousin," said Mr. Branghton, "have you been at Sadler"s Wells yet?"
"No, Sir."
"No! why, then you"ve seen nothing!"
"Pray, Miss," said the son, "how do you like the Tower of London?"
"I have never been to it, Sir."
"Goodness!" exclaimed he, "not seen the Tower!-why, may be, you ha"n"t been o" top of the Monument, neither?"
"No, indeed, I have not."
"Why, then, you might as well not have come to London for aught I see, for you"ve been no where."
"Pray, Miss," said Polly, "have you been all over Paul"s Church yet?"
"No, Ma"am."
"Well, but, Ma"am," said Mr. Smith, "how do you like Vauxhall and Marybone?"
"I never saw either, Sir."
"No-G.o.d bless me!-you really surprise me,-why Vauxhall is the first pleasure in life!-I know nothing like it.-Well, Ma"am, you must have been with strange people, indeed, not to have taken you to Vauxhall. Why you have seen nothing of London yet. However, we must try if we can"t make you amends."
In the course of this catechism, many other places were mentioned, of which I have forgotten the names; but the looks of surprise and contempt that my repeated negatives incurred were very diverting.
"Come," said Mr. Smith, after tea, "as this lady has been with such a queer set of people, let"s show her the difference; suppose we go somewhere to-night!-I love to do things with spirit!-Come, ladies, where shall we go? For my part I should like Foote"s-but the ladies must choose; I never speak myself."
"Well, Mr. Smith is always in such spirits!" said Miss Branghton.
"Why, yes, Ma"am, yes, thank G.o.d, pretty good spirits;-I have not yet the cares of the world upon me;-I am not married,-ha, ha, ha!-you"ll excuse me, ladies,-but I can"t help laughing!"
No objection being made, to my great relief we all proceeded to the little theatre in the Haymarket, where I was extremely entertained by the performance of the Minor and the Commissary.
They all returned hither to supper.
LETTER XLV
EVELINA IN CONTINUATION June 15th.
YESTERDAY morning Madame Duval again sent me to Mr. Branghton"s, attended by M. Du Bois, to make some party for the evening, because she had had the vapours the preceding day from staying at home.
As I entered the shop, I perceived the unfortunate North Briton seated in a corner, with a book in his hand. He cast his melancholy eyes up as we came in; and, I believe, immediately recollected my face-for he started, and changed colour. I delivered Madame Duval"s message to Mr. Branghton, who told me I should find Polly up stairs, but that the others were gone out.
Up stairs, therefore, I went; and, seated on a window, with Mr. Brown at her side, sat Miss Polly. I felt a little awkward at disturbing them, and much more so at their behaviour afterwards; for, as soon as the common enquiries were over, Mr. Brown grew so fond and so foolish, that I was extremely disgusted. Polly, all the time, only rebuked him with, "La, now, Mr. Brown, do be quiet, can"t you?-you should not behave so before company.-Why, now, what will Miss think of me?"-While her looks plainly showed not merely the pleasure, but the pride which she took in his caresses.
I did not by any means think it necessary to punish myself by witnessing their tenderness; and therefore telling them I would see if Miss Branghton were returned home, I soon left them, and against descended into the shop.
"So, Miss, you"ve come again," said Mr. Branghton; "what, I suppose you"ve a mind to sit a little in the shop, and see how the world goes, hey, Miss?"
I made no answer; and M. Du Bois instantly brought me a chair.
The unhappy stranger, who had risen at my entrance, again seated himself; and though his head leant towards his book, I could not help observing, his eyes were most intently and earnestly turned towards me.
M. Du Bois, as well as his broken English would allow him, endeavoured to entertain us till the return of Miss Branghton and her brother.
"Lord, how tired I am!" cried the former; "I have not a foot to stand upon." And, then, without any ceremony, she flung herself into the chair from which I had risen to receive her.
"You tired!" said the brother; "why, then, what must I be, that have walked twice as far?" And, with equal politeness, he paid the same compliment to M. Du Bois which his sister had done to me.
Two chairs and three stools completed the furniture of the shop; and Mr. Branghton, who chose to keep his own seat himself, desired M. Du Bois to take another; and then seeing that I was without any, called out to the stranger, "Come, Mr. Macartney, lend us your stool."