Evelyn repeated the nun"s words to herself, "Like coming home." And she seemed to see far into their meaning. Here was an ill.u.s.tration of what she had read in the book--she and Veronica seemed to understand each other in the silence. But it became necessary to speak, and in answer to a question, Sister Veronica told Evelyn that there were four novices and two postulants in the novitiate, and that the name of the novice mistress was Mother Mary Hilda. The novitiate was in the upper storey of the new wing, above the convent refectory.
"And here is Reverend Mother," and Sister Veronica suddenly got up.
Evelyn got up too, and they waited till the elderly nun slowly crossed the lawn. Evelyn noticed, even when the Reverend Mother was seated, that Veronica remained standing.
"You can go now, Veronica."
Veronica smiled a little good-bye to Evelyn, and left them immediately.
"Veronica told you, Miss Innes, I was taking my watch?"
"Yes, Reverend Mother."
"I hope she has not been wearying you with the details of our life?"
"On the contrary, I have been very much interested.... Your life here is so beautiful that I long to know more about it. At present my knowledge is confined to the fact that the second storey in the new wing is the novitiate, and that there are four novices and two postulants." The Reverend Mother smiled, and after a pause Evelyn added--
"But Sister Veronica is very young."
"She is older than she looks, she is nearly twenty. Ever since she was quite a child she wished to be a nun. Even then her mind was quite made up."
"She told me that when she was a child her great pleasure was to be allowed to walk in the convent garden."
"Yes. You don"t know, perhaps, that she is my niece. My poor brother"s child. She was left an orphan at a very early age. Her"s is a sad story.
But G.o.d has been good: she never doubted her vocation, she pa.s.sed from an innocent childhood to a life dedicated to G.o.d. So she has been spared the trouble that is the lot of those who live in the world."
An accent of past but unforgotten sorrow had crept into her voice; and once more Evelyn was convinced that she had not, like Veronica, pa.s.sed from innocent childhood into the blameless dream of convent life. She had known the world and had renounced it. In the silence that had fallen Evelyn wondered what her story might be, and whether she would ever hear it. But she knew that in the convent no allusion is made to the past, that there the past is really the past.
"I hope that you will sing for us at Benediction. All the sisters are longing to hear you. It will be such a pleasure to them."
"I shall be very glad ... only I have brought nothing with me. But I daresay I shall find something among the music you have here."
"Sister Mary John will find you something; she is our organist."
"And an excellent musician. I noticed her playing."
"She has always been anxious to improve the choir, but unfortunately none of the sisters except her has any voice to speak of.... You might sing Gounod"s "Ave Maria" at Benediction; you know it, of course, what a beautiful piece of music it is. But I see that you don"t admire it."
"Well," Evelyn said, smiling, "it is contrary to all the principles I"ve been brought up in."
"We might walk a little; we are at the end of the summer, and the air is a little cold. You do not mind walking very slowly? I"m forbidden to walk fast on account of my heart."
They crossed the sloping lawn, and walking slowly up St. Peter"s walk, amid sad flutterings of leaves from the branches of the elms, Evelyn told the Reverend Mother the story of the musical reformation which her father had achieved. She asked Evelyn if it would be possible to give Palestrina at the convent and they reached the end of the walk. It was flushed with September, and in the glittering stillness the name of Palestrina was exquisite to speak. They pa.s.sed the tall cross standing at the top of the rocks, and the Reverend Mother said, speaking out of long reflection--"Have I never heard any of the music you sing? Wagner I have never heard, but the Italian operas, "Lucia" and "Trovatore," or Mozart? Have you never sung Mozart?"
"Very little. I am what is called a dramatic soprano. The only Italian opera I"ve sung is "Norma." Do you know it?"
"Yes."
"I"ve sung Leonore--not in "Trovatore," in "Fidelio.""
"But surely you admire "Trovatore"--the "Miserere," for instance. Is not that beautiful?"
"It is no doubt very effective, but it is considered very common now."
Evelyn hummed s.n.a.t.c.hes of the opera; then the waltz from "Traviata."
"I"ve sung Margaret."
"Ah."
And as she hummed the Jewel Song she watched the Reverend Mother"s face, and was certain that the nun had heard the music on the stage. But at that moment the angelus bell rang. Evelyn had forgotten the responses, and as she walked towards the convent she asked the Reverend Mother to repeat them once again, so that she might have them by heart.
She excused herself, saying how difficult was the observance of religious forms for those who live in the world.
After dinner she wrote two letters. One was to her father, the other was to Monsignor, and having directed the letters she imagined the postal arrangement to be somewhat irregular. After Benediction she would ask Veronica what time the letters left the convent. And looking across the abyss which separated them, she saw her pa.s.sionate self-centred past and Veronica"s little transit from the schoolroom to the convent. It seemed strange to her that she never had what might be called a girl friend.
But she had arrived at a time when a woman friend was a necessity, and it now suddenly occurred to her that there would be something wonderfully sweet and satisfying in the uncritical love of a woman younger than herself. She felt that the love of this innocent creature who knew nothing, who never would know anything, and who therefore would suspect nothing, would help her to forget her past as Monsignor wished.
She felt a sympathy awaken in her for her own s.e.x which she had never known before, and this yearning was confounded in a desire to be among those who knew nothing of her past. Now she was glad that she had refrained from taking the Reverend Mother into her confidence, and she wondered how much Monsignor had told her the day they had walked in the garden; it relieved her to remember that he knew very little except what she had told him in confession.
Someone knocked. She answered, "Come in." It was Mother Philippa and another nun.
"I hope we"re not interrupting.... But you"re reading, I see."
"No, I was thinking;" and glad of the interruption, she let the book fall on her knees. "Pray come in, Mother Philippa," and Evelyn rose to detain her.
The nuns entered very shyly. Evelyn handed them chairs, and as she did so she remarked the tall, angular nun who followed Mother Philippa, and whose face expressed so much energy.
"Good afternoon, Miss Innes. I hope you slept well last night, and did not find your bed too uncomfortable?"
"Thank you, Mother Philippa. I liked my bed. I slept very well." Evelyn drew two chairs forward, and Mother Philippa introduced Evelyn to Sister Mary John. And while she explained that she had heard from the Reverend Mother that Miss Innes had promised to sing at Benediction, Sister Mary John sat watching Evelyn, her large brown eyes wide open. Her eagerness was even a little comical, and Evelyn smiled through her growing liking for this nun. She was unlike any other nun she had seen. Nuns were usually formal and placid, but Sister Mary John was so irreparably herself that while the others presented feeble imitations of the Reverend Mother"s manner, her walk and speech, Sister Mary John continued to slouch along, to cross her legs, to swing her arms, to lean forward and interrupt when she was interested in the conversation; when she was not, she did not attempt to hide her indifference. Evelyn thought that she must be about eight-and-twenty or thirty. The eyes were brown and exultant, and the eyebrows seemed very straight and black in the sallow complexion. All the features were large, but a little of the radiant smile that had lit up all her features when she came forward to greet Evelyn still lingered on her face. Now and then she seemed to grow impatient, and then she forgot her impatience and the smile floated back again. At last her opportunity came, and she seized it eagerly.
"I"m quite ashamed, Miss Innes, we sang so badly this morning; our little choir can do better than that."
"I was interested; the organ was very well played."
"Did you think so? I have not sufficient time for practice, but I love music, and am longing to hear you sing. But the Reverend Mother says that you have brought no music with you."
"I hear," said Mother Philippa, "that you do not care for Gounod"s "Ave Maria.""
"If the Reverend Mother wishes me to sing it, I shall be delighted to do so, if Sister Mary John has the music."
Sister Mary John shook her head authoritatively, and said that she quite understood that Miss Innes did not approve of the liberty of writing any melody over Bach"s beautiful prelude. Besides, it required a violin. The conversation then turned on the music at St. Joseph"s. Sister Mary John listened, breaking suddenly in with some question regarding Palestrina.
She had never heard any of his music; would Miss Innes lend her some?
Was there nothing of his that they could sing in the convent?
"I do not know anything of his written for two voices. You might play the other parts on the organ, but I"m afraid it would sound not a little ridiculous."
"But have you heard the Benedictine nuns sing the plain chant; they pause in the middle of the verse--that is the tradition, is it not?"
Meanwhile Mother Philippa sat forgotten. Evelyn noticed her isolation before Sister Mary John, and addressed an observation to her. But Mother Philippa said she knew nothing about music, and that they were to go on talking as if she weren"t there. But a mere listener is a dead weight in a conversation; and whenever Evelyn"s eyes went that way, she could see that Mother Philippa was thinking of something else; and when she looked towards Sister Mary John she could see that she was longing to be alone with her. A delightful hour of conversation awaited them if they could only find some excuse to get away together, and Evelyn looked at Sister Mary John, saying with her eyes that the suggestion must come from her.
"If I were to take Miss Innes to the organ loft and show her what music we have--don"t you think so, Mother Philippa?"
"Yes, I think that would be the best thing to do.... I"m sure the Reverend Mother would see no objection to your taking Miss Innes to the organ loft."