I had no idea what Jack was seeing in my blue eyes, but I could see a thousand questions in his. Questions I felt I"d never have the answer to. I stared up into his beautiful face. I wanted to tell him how amazing he was, how talented. How he was so much more, and he didn"t ever have to doubt his worth or measure it against the adoration of his fans or the dictates of his handlers. Or ever be afraid of whatever had happened to him as a child. We were so close I could see small tiny freckles across his upper cheekbones and a small faint scar I had never noticed before in his eyebrow. An imperfection that made him all the more perfect.
I lifted a finger and traced it gently, then smoothed the small furrow that appeared between his eyes. "Jack ... I was always told to live life, to grab it with both hands ... I never have." I swallowed over my nerves, hoping the words were coming out right. "You were right, last night. I have been afraid to start living my life. Living means loving, and I know this sounds dumb, but all that has ever given me is pain. First losing my parents and then Nana. I know that"s a stupid parallel to draw for never wanting to date anyone or ... be with anyone."
Jack smoothed a lock of hair away from my eyes. I was absolutely pinned to the moment by the intensity in his gaze. I tried to go on without tripping over my words. "I don"t want to be anymore. Afraid, I mean."
Jack eyes flickered. "Sweetheart, there hasn"t been one moment when I"ve considered you afraid. I look at you, and all I see is certainty. Courage. Bravery. G.o.d, I"ve never met anyone so sure and so strong in who they are." His mouth tilted up on one side. "It"s ... epic."
I was humbled, and to be honest, floored by his words. That was never how I saw myself. Ever. I was afraid of everything. I dropped my eyes a moment, but Jack"s finger under my chin urged me to look up at him. I steeled myself to get it all out before I lost my nerve. "And I don"t want any regrets. I"ve never been ... frivolous, never done anything without weighing up the consequences. I feel like I"ve always had a heavy heart ... Nothing-no one," I amended, "ever seemed worth taking a risk for." I took a deep breath and sh.o.r.ed up my nerves. "This is. You are. I can"t explain it. I-"
Jack"s mouth parted slightly, although I had no idea if that was good or bad. His gaze roamed over my face to my mouth, effectively cutting off my words.
I didn"t finish talking, but let my hand drift around to the back of his head and pulled him down to my mouth.
He didn"t resist.
I let out a soft sigh as his lips met mine. It was so right. This felt so right. It was like it spoke to me deep in my soul. I opened my lips to him and accepted the soft slide of his tongue and heard him groan deep in his chest. I wound my hand into a fistful of his hair. I could feel this kiss through my whole body, and my heart swelled in my chest and my legs shifted to get closer.
I wasn"t sure who instigated the move, but suddenly I had a leg across his lap and his hand on my thigh was dragging me astride him.
He"d lifted me effortlessly.
I let out a heavy breath as my skirt rode up, and I pressed my whole body to him.
"G.o.d," Jack groaned.
My head tipped back, gasping, as Jack"s mouth found my neck.
He was hard and swollen beneath me. Moaning, I rocked forward against the rough ridge of his jeans.
"Christ," he hissed out. His arm locked around my waist and pressed me down hard against him.
I whimpered. Couldn"t help it.
He dragged his lips up to mine and plundered my mouth as we rocked against each other. There was no argument in the world that could have convinced me Jack shouldn"t be inside me at that moment.
"Take me home," I managed, between kisses. He pulled his mouth away from mine, breathing hard, and searched my eyes. His gaze, made luminous by the sunset we were missing, was piercing. I knew what he"d said to me last night and this morning, and I knew I faced rejection again, but I had to try. I wanted this. I wanted him. And I wanted him sealed in my heart forever. No matter what happened.
"Please ... make love to me, Jack."
He closed his eyes tight and let out a breath, dropping his forehead to mine. After what felt like an eternity, he drew me into a tight embrace, his face buried in my neck. I wound my arms around his head and shoulders holding him tightly back. If this was all I could have of Jack, I would take it with my heart wide open.
He was going to say no. I mentally prepared for his answer and tried hard not to let the feeling of rejection unfold inside me. I knew I should take the words back and take the decision away from him before he had to tell me no again. It wasn"t fair of me to ask him to reject me again when we"d already talked about this.
I pulled back. "Neverm-"
"Yes," he said at the same time.
"What?" I whispered.
"Yes. Let"s go."
T W E N T Y S E V E N We roared past my house. Jack had asked me if I needed anything from home. I didn"t. The short drive to the beach house took hours. I tried not to think of the last time I left there. It was only yesterday afternoon and it felt like eons ago, like I was just a little girl back then.
Finally, we stowed the bike, took our helmets off, and laughing, raced up the stairs to the house. Jack fumbled with the door lock, but finally we were inside.
I laid the backpack down, and he hauled me back and spun me around pinning me against the wall with his hard body. I did some crazy moan-gasp thing, and looking me deep in the eyes, he hitched my leg up against his thigh and pressed against my center.
Holy s.h.i.t.
My heart was beating hard in my chest, almost in my throat. I clutched at him. I wanted to feel his strength, so I pushed his jacket off his shoulders.
He let go of my bare thigh for a moment while he shucked off his jacket and let it fall to the floor.
I kept my leg hooked around him, reluctant to lose contact for even a moment. I reached for his t-shirt, but he grabbed it behind his head and pulled it off, our gaze only breaking for a millisecond.
My cold hands found Jack"s warm, smooth skin.
He tensed under my touch, his eyes now slate grey in the darkened hall.
Jack"s hand came up to my face, and his thumb brushed over my lips like when my tongue had accidentally found him. This time he pushed it against my lips, seeking entry. I hesitated a split second before sucking him into my mouth to taste the tang of his skin. Jack"s breathing hitched as he fed it to me, sliding it in and out against my tongue. His mouth grew taut, his nostrils flaring slightly, his gaze pinned on the action.
Watching his reactions, my own breath had grown shallow and irregular. My pulse was spiking, the heat inside of me swirling up between us like a fever.
Slowly he pulled his thumb out and rubbed the wet pad across my lower lip pulling my lip down.
The laughing was over.
Every point of contact my body had with Jack"s was like a conduit for an ever-increasing maelstrom of feeling. The feel of his rough denim clad hips under my bare thigh, the press of his hardness against my apex, and the warm skin of his hand as it roamed up my thigh and waist to my neck, to my chest. His mouth. My heart.
Jack tugged my scarf from its loosely wound place at my neck. In moments, his hand cupped my breast through my dress, his thumb running across my nipple.
My breath came in ragged gasps. "Jack ..." I managed, my chest involuntarily thrusting forward into his hand.
His lips quirked. "What about this?" he whispered roughly and slipped his fingers under the low neckline of my dress, tugging it and my bra down. He feathered a light touch around my bare nipple in the cool air.
"Gah ...," I managed.
He chuckled, and then his warm hand palmed my breast more fully and I moaned.
His eyes flickered. Sliding down my body, he bent his legs and hooked my other leg around him. He stood up quickly, taking my weight, his hands on my bare thighs and pressed me firmly back against the wall.
I gasped and grabbed onto his broad shoulders to steady myself.
Jack"s face was intense as he lowered his mouth to mine. He stopped millimeters away, his breath softly fanning my lips.
"Are you sure?" he whispered.
I nodded. "Yes."
He captured my mouth into a deep kiss and pressed himself hard against me.
I moaned and pressed back, sliding my tongue into his mouth and kissing him with every ounce of feeling I had inside me. Showing him how I felt.
A rough sound emanated from deep in his throat. "G.o.d, Keri Ann," he murmured, his mouth leaving mine and leaving a hot, moist trail down my neck and under my ear. "You have no idea how you make me feel."
I shivered.
I knew what he was making me feel. Was he feeling the same? I was on a tidal wave of sensation that was almost too much. I felt like I was quaking inside.
"Hang on tight," he said guiding my arms more firmly around his neck. He pulled away from the wall and headed for the stairs.
"You have a habit of carrying me up stairs." I laughed nervously as he effortlessly ascended.
"I"m part caveman, you know, I can"t help it. Something about you brings it out in me."
"Oh wait," I said, as we got to the top of the stairs. "We might need the back pack."
"Why?"
I hid my flaming face back into his neck. "Protection."
"What?"
"Protection," I said a little louder, mortified.
In his bedroom, rather than setting me down, he tossed me onto the soft covers. "I knew it."
"What?"
"I knew you"d be blushing. I heard you the first time, I just wanted to see your face," he said devilishly and darted back down the stairs.
I quickly snapped my knees together, aware of how I"d landed.
He was back in a flash, holding a box.
My nerves started getting the better of me. There he was with his magnificent body, bare chested, jeans hanging on his hips, his hair unkempt both from the helmet and my fingers running through it. A G.o.d like this had probably had his pick of women for years and had probably picked all the flawless ones.
"A bit presumptuous, weren"t you?" he teased.
"Um ... I ... "
"I"m glad. I was thinking I was going to have to tear Devon"s bedroom and bathroom apart looking for some." He moved toward the lamp on the bedside table.
I swallowed. "You could probably keep that off ... if you wanted."
He switched it on and came back around, putting a knee on the bed between my feet and c.o.c.king his head to the side.
I made to sit up but he stayed me. "Not on your life. You"re gorgeous Keri Ann. I"ve been fantasizing about you naked since we met. You don"t think I"m going to miss my chance, do you?" He raised a naughty eyebrow.
And just like that, the wave of nerves subsided.
"Come here, then," I whispered more huskily than I"d intended. Complying immediately, Jack"s mouth was on mine.
I welcomed him eagerly, returning the pa.s.sionate thrust and parry of his tongue and arching up to his body. We drank and nipped at each other hungrily, hands roaming and bodies straining.
Breathing hard, Jack pulled back enough to pull my cowboy boots off, then he pulled me up to my knees and grasped the bottom of my dress.
I lifted my arms to a.s.sist him, thankful for Jazz"s a.s.sistance in picking out my hot pink bra and panties set.
"Seriously?" Jack asked, his voice strained. "You"re killing me." He braced stock still watching me from beneath his dark lashes. His jaw was clenched hard.
Just like last night, I ran my palm down the planes of his chest, but this time when I got to his jeans, he didn"t stop me.
My heart pounded as my fingers worked to unb.u.t.ton Jack"s jeans. The bulge under my hand was making them a little hard to manage and every time my fingers brushed against him, I heard his breathing change. I didn"t know his reactions to my hands on him could cause such a corresponding reaction in me. I was hot and throbbing and desperate to have him naked.
Shaking, I finally released the last b.u.t.ton revealing his boxers. Instinctively, I slid my hand inside and curled it around his length. Call me a hussy, but I needed to know what I was in for.
Oh, my.
Jack hissed out a breath and grabbed my wrist.
"I want to touch you." I pouted with a small smile over my nerves.
"You will. You can. But I promise you I don"t need any help right now. I"m so f.u.c.king turned on, I can hardly see straight."
His words punched into my gut and set my slow boil into overdrive. I could not believe, in this moment, that I held so much power. I hurriedly pushed his jeans down his thighs, and before he could move to a.s.sist me, I shoved his shorts down, too. A dark swirling tattoo snaked around his hip, but I didn"t pay attention to that. I was more interested in what else I had revealed.
Jack immediately pushed me back on the bed and kissed me hungrily.
I gasped into his mouth at the amazing feel of his skin against mine, his weight settling on me and between my legs.
Pushing down my bra, Jack"s tongue found my nipple. Within moments I was literally writhing under him. I arched up, whimpering more as the movement caused his erection to press against my damp core.
He rocked against me and it felt like heaven. Then he made his way south, kissing down my stomach, stopping to dip his tongue into my belly b.u.t.ton. My nerves ratcheted up.
Dead focused, Jack slowly peeled my panties down my legs. The look on his face sent my pulse into overdrive.
I was panting and completely not in control of my body"s reactions. I stilled, and he unhooked the last foot from my underwear and slowly ran his hands up my legs, parting them firmly as he went, his eyes, and then his mouth following the movement. His touch was a trail of fire up the inside of my thigh.
Shifting, Jack settled himself more firmly between my legs. Okay, now I was a little embarra.s.sed. I squirmed and tensed as I watched his green eyes drink in the sight.
"G.o.d, you"re beautiful," Jack groaned, and before I could have second thoughts, his mouth came down on me.
I cried out, bucking against him, causing his hands to grip my thighs more firmly to keep them in place. His tongue flicked over me.
Oh my G.o.d!
I squeezed my eyes shut as if that would help contain my reaction. It just served to focus all my senses on what he was doing to me. I was almost catatonic with pleasure and sensation, my body tight and p.r.i.c.kly as if my skin couldn"t hold the feelings inside me.