"But I think I upset Lorri."
"Are you upset, Lorri?" Ruth asked.
"Yes, but not with Max. The whole idea just takes some getting used to." Lorri tried to say this without crying, but it didn"t work. They didn"t know the details. They didn"t understand the way she had dug in the dirt for days, using a thin rock and her bare hands, in an effprt to give her sister a proper grave and one for Clarence Fuller as well. It all came flooding back to Lorri, and she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
"I"m sorry, Raine. I"m sorry," Max said, arms around her and unable to stop her own tears. "I didn"t mean to hurt you."
Lorri couldn"t speak. She hugged Max, who looked so much like Josie, and tried not to remember. Dry of tears just now, Ruth i 144.
Lori Wick had pulled her chair a little closer, waiting for the storm to pa.s.s. Handing tissues to the girls so they could wipe their faces, she spoke when they looked at her.
"Your grandfather had two conditions: that we wait for him and that we all agree. It doesn"t matter how long it takes, but until we all agree on the best way to handle this, we won"t do anything. Do you understand?"
Lorri and Max nodded.
"It won"t be a fun time, but it doesn"t have to be all painful. We can have a funeral service, casket and all, or just a memorial service with no casket, or something in between. It can be private or include the whole church family."
"The church family has been wonderful," Lorri said, thinking about the hugs and warm smiles she"d been getting the last two weeks.
"Yes, they have, and they loved Josie too "
"Would we really want to have a casket that had nothing in it?" Max asked.
"It could have some things in it, special things that remind us of Josie," Ruth answered.
"You can do that?"
"We can do anything we want."
"What does Grandpa want?" Lorri asked.
"He wasn"t very specific, except about wanting a proper headstone*
Max looked at her sister. "Do you know what day Jo died?"
"Junel."
"That was three months ago yesterday," Max said. "It doesn"t seem that long."
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"It"s not for us," Ruth reminded her. "We didn"t get the telegram about the plane being missing until the fifth. And even then we didn"t have any details."
"What did the telegram say, Mother?"
"Just that your plane never arrived and there was a search going on."
"Did you a.s.sume we were lost?"
Ruth sighed. "I pictured all those miles of ocean and tried not to imagine your small plane in the water, but it wasn"t easy."
"Clarence said the weather report Was for clear skies, and when a little rain started, he joked about not being able to trust anyone anymore." Lorri shook her head, still anjazed. She was back in that little plane. "There was no warning. We were suddenly in a downpour, lightning flashing all around us and the wind tossing us all over the sky.
"It felt like forever. Clarence had joked a little more, but then he was quiet. Josie felt sick with the motion, and I had a headache from my head being thrown against the window. I don"t know how long the storm actually lasted, but at least an hour, maybe more. Clarence shouted at us to duck just as we crashed into the trees.
"The impact knocked me out. When I woke up, all was dark. There was a huge gash in the plane on Josie"s side, and the rain was pouring in. Josie and Clarence wouldn"t answer me, and I couldn"t get my seatbelt undone." Lorri closed her eyes with the! memory.
Ruth took her hand. "Don"t think about it anymore, okay? We don"t have to know right now."I Lorri looked into her mother"s eyes.
"Do you ever think about yourself, Mother? Do you ever take care of yourself first?"
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Ruth"s smile was crooked.
"You know me, Lorri. I just don"t want you to have to live it over again and again."
"I"ll probably not have it all dear in my mind for months. I keep remembering things that happened. They were so vivid at the time, but then they completely slipped away."
Ruth reached up and cupped her cheek.
"I"m so glad you"re home. I missed you so much."
"Josie and I talked about that. Neither one of us would have left if we"d known we would be gone for so long."
"Sometimes I feel cheated " Max admitted. "You and Jo were away for so many years, and I didn"t get to see her again."
"We talked about you every day, Max. Our hearts were never gone."
Max felt tears again, and she already had a headache-It was on the tip of her tongue to say she didn"t want to cry anymore, but m.u.f.fin took care of it for her. All three women caught movement in the hallway and looked over to see m.u.f.fin dragging an underslip from Lorri"s room. It was heavy enough to outweigh her, but she wasn"t giving up. They laughed so loudly and suddenly that they startled m.u.f.fin. Deserting the undergarment, she rocketed down the stairs.
147Tloeloer Max looked beautiful for her first day back to school. She wore the navy skirt and white blouse that were Josie"s, and her hair was pulled back with a red ribbon. It wasn"t hard to imagine that every male head in the school was going to turn in her direction.
Lorri and Ruth were a little at loose ends when she left, and it didn"t help that Buddy stood at the picture window in the living room and watched forlornly as she walked away.
"It"ll be Christmas break before we know it," Ruth said, going for another cup of coffee. "Never do the days pa.s.s so swiftly as when we"re on the school calendar."
"Why is that, do you think?"
"I guess because it"s all blocked out in the sections of time. Septeitnber will quickly give way to October, and then Thanksgiving will be here in the blink of an eye. Christmas and the new year always rush in, and just like that," Ruth snapped her fingers, "the school year is half over. Second term goes just as fast."
"And what do you do with yourself all day?"
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1.
It S "The same routine I"ve always had. Wash on Tuesday, clean on Wednesday, Bible study with the women on Thursday, and marketing on Friday or Sat.u.r.day."
"Plus a thousand little jobs that seem to get done by themselves," Lorri added, and Ruth smiled, pleased at her observance.
"Never forget that I love it, Lorri. I love taking care of my family, and I"m always thankful that your grandfather offered us a home. I"m not sure what I would have done."
"Mother, why haven"t you married again?"
Ruth"s head tipped in thought.
"If the truth be told, Lorri, I wish I had, but I never met anyone who I thought might be a good father to you girls. Certainly not the way Dean has been. I don"t mean to make it sound like men were lining up; the few men in the church familywho were my age didn"t want a ready-made family."
"They don"t know what they were missing," Lorri said, looking at her lovely, sweet mother and thinking that she would be worth any amount of adjustment a stepfather might have to make.
"Well I don"t know about that," Ruth said as the doorbell rang. "I don"t dwell on it. Never have and never plan to."
Lorri stayed at the table while her mother went to the door. She came back with a tearful Cora Andrews, coffee cake in hand.
"I"m just the biggest faucet in the world," Cora was saying. "I can"t believe Arlene is a senior. She"ll be gone before you know it. And you know how spoiled I get in the summer with Leonard around. And now he"s gone too." Cora used a hankie and then looked up to find compa.s.sion on their faces.
"Would you like some coffee?" Lorri offered.
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"Yes, please," Cora said, accompanied by a sniff. "I was supposed to babysit for Martha Jones today, but the baby has a cold so she canceled her outing."
"That would have helped keep your mind off your loneliness," Ruth said kindly. "But instead, we"ll have to eat this cake and cry with you."
Cora couldn"t help but chuckle at Ruth"s playful tone.
"Tell me something, Lorri," Ruth said conversationally. "Have you ever tasted one of Cora"s coffee dikes?"
"Not for a very long time."
"Well," Ruth continued, cutting and serving as she talked, "I think it might take a good five days of crying for you to get over this, Cora, so we"ll expect you each morning this week."
This was the start of laughter and lighthearted conversation. The morning didn"t pa.s.s without a few more tears, but the women were very glad that Cora had dropped by, coffee cake and all.
"Hey, Max."
It was just after lunch, and Max had been studying the cla.s.s list in her hand, unaware of anyone else in the hall. She stopped and looked up to see Johnny King addressing her.
"Oh, hi, Johnny." * "Are you headed to Algebra?"
"Yes."
Til walk you."
"All right."
Max didn"t read too much into this. She had known Johnny for years. He was remarkably handsome, and it seemed that he 150.
Lori Wick m had dated more girls in school than any other boy. Max had not been one of them.
"The summer was certainly good to you," he said about halfway down the hall.
"What makes you say that?"
"The way you look."
Max smiled at the compliment but didn"t let it go to her head.
"How was your summer?" she asked.
"Good. I worked but still spent plenty of time at the beach."
Max didn"t comment because she didn"t know what to say.
"Rumor has it that you and Arlene have sworn off boys."
Max couldn"t stop her smile. She hadn"t expected that to get around but didn"t mind that it had.
"We find it"s easier that way."
They were at Max"s cla.s.s, but Johnny wasn"t done.
Til just have to see if I can find a way to change your mind," he said.
Max only smiled and said she had to get to cla.s.s.
"Max," Johnny called her name one last time and waited for her to turn. "I heard about your sister. I"m sorry."
"Thanks, Johnny" Max said quietly as she slipped into the cla.s.sroom. She was unaware that Johnny stood and stared at the door, almost making him late to his own math cla.s.s.
Some 48 hours later, the laughter and fun time with Cora was but a memory. A letter from Clarence Fuller"s family had arrived. Lorn read it, her heart squeezing with pain. But not willing to waste any time, she went to the kitchen table with pen and paper, planning to write back to them directly.
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