Chapter 8— [Can’t Walk Out]
Before Lou Yao Yao went to middle school, she always lived in her maternal grandmother’s house. To say that her maternal grandfather brought her up wouldn’t too excessive. The Fang ancestors were in the silk business. After hundreds of years, the family moved down. They had gone through prosperous times and been in dire straits until they reached Lou Yao Yao’s grandfather’s generation. In his generation he was the only scion of the family left. Old people especially long for the past. They were not used to the tall high-rise buildings nor did they like the foreign villas. Until his death, maternal grandfather had always lived in the Old Town in a SiHeYuan {a courtyard house, type of Chinese residence}.
Most of the the houses in Old Town were green brick and tile houses. Old Town could not be said as luxurious or possessing an imposing style. However, it did have the ancient charm that only old houses had. The people who lived here were also old people who were nostalgic for the past. When the city started development, Old Town was the first place that was to be torn down, but the overseers were unable to endure the old people threatening death. Furthermore, the people who lived there, if they hadn’t been in business for generations, then they had engaged in cultural activities. War hadn’t made them fall. Neither had revolutions. Now, they naturally could not fall now. Luckily, the developers finally left go of Old Town. Nowadays, Old Town was a well-known cultural preservations district.
Lou Yao Yao’s favorite thing to do when she was younger was to go to each and every house and family with her maternal grandfather. Her mouth was sweet and coquettish. She coaxed all those old people into wishing they could treasure her in the palm of their hands. Whether in eating or playing, they were lenient with her.
At that time, Qin Zhi was the king of the children in Old Town. His courage was big. He fought viciously. He was practically lawless. Until he met his natural enemy——Lou Yao Yao. Lou Yao Yao pretended to be clever in front of the adults, but actually did many things behind their back. It had become famous. The number of times that people came to her school entrance to threaten to beat her up wasn’t just two or three times. The boys in the Old Town helped her fight. They were at the front and were badly bruised. She was with the girls behind the boys, with her hands on her hips, trading insults with them. When she was tired of scolding, she would clap her hands and go home to eat dinner, leaving a place filled with wounded soldiers.
Afterwards, when people saw her they would flee. The person who wanted to hide the most was actually Qin Zhi. However he couldn’t. His paternal grandfather and Lou Yao Yao’s grandfather were best friends. Lou Yao Yao was also a complaining expert. In his childhood and youth, he was brutally devastated by her.
After being tormented for so long, he resigned himself to it.
At that time, he was the beck and call of Lou Yao Yao. He was the little gege who was full of complaints he couldn’t voice them.
Qin Zhi was forced to circle half of the small town by Lou Yao Yao. They returned to Old Town. The world’s development was too fast. They had to adapt. They had to move forwards. There was no time to look back and one would forget to look back. That compound’s tall wall that seemed to have no end, now was only a square centimeter. One only needed to stand in a slightly tall area, and one could look at the end of it.
Qin Zhi pushed the bike with Lou Yao Yao on it around Old Town’s river. With the demise of the older generation, the younger generation left this place in search of wider skies. All the people on the road were tourists or possibly a drama team filming a period drama. On the street corners were a few booths selling unique snacks or vintage jewelry and clothing. They occasionally met a familiar face from the past, yet there were only casual h.e.l.los. Afterwards, they turned around to leave. Neither warmth nor intimacy was there. The flavour from the past was gone.
Qin Zhi asked Lou Yao Yao if she wanted go to the house to look. Lou Yao Yao shook her head and refused. She was like a child who threw away a treasure. Afterwards, one day, she remembered it. Finally after finding it, she discovered she wasn’t the only one who lost the treasure. However, the other people didn’t want to find the treasure.
Lou Yao Yao thought she suddenly understood a little of the those old people’s hearts.
This let Lou Yao Yao’s mood become a little stuffy. At noon they ate a few kinds of fine and beautiful food. However, the flavor was more like unauthentic unique pastries and snacks.
She was like a person who was reminiscing. She was stepping on the footprints that she left in the past. She searching for the past. Everything she thought she had forgotten slowly came back. It was as clear as if it had all happened yesterday.
Qin Zhi was holding Lou Yao Yao’s hand. They were slowly walking, like they used to many years ago. In the past, she was very lazy. Whenever she walked, it was like she didn’t have any bones. She always dawdled. She always wanted him to pull her. Everytime they were going back to Old Town from school it was like dragging an old, rampaging cow. Everytime he was so tired that he was half dead. He would angrily scold her, ”Troublesome essence! Nuisance!”
She would sit on the ground and refuse to walk. No matter if he was so anxious that he stamped his feet, she wouldn’t get up even if she died. In the end, he had to accept his fate and shoulder this troublesome essence.
Afterwards, she would pull at his ear in self-satisfaction and yell,”Who is the troublesome essence!”
“I am the troublesome essence!”
“Who is the nuisance!?”
“I am the nuisance!”
The rest of the kids in Old Town would laugh at him for having no backbone. The kids mocked them by echoing and modelling their actions. At this time, he would put her down, overtake them and hit them. The group of little devils would cry father and yell mother. Behind him, she would laugh and cheer him on. After hitting them, he still had to go home with this troublesome essence on his back.
Lou Yao Yao smiled after thinking of this. Qin Zhi asked her what she was smiling about. She didn’t reply, but continuously looked at him and smiled.
Qin Zhi didn’t care. He just helplessly looked at her. She smiled. Then, she cried. She was very strong in the past. She wouldn’t cry even if she quarrelled or fought with people. Even if she was defeated miserably, she was like an arrogant queen. Actually, from when she was very small, she could see people’s att.i.tudes toward her. Her father didn’t like her. She also never acted like a spoiled child towards him. Whoever loathed her, whoever was tired of her, she pretended not to care. Afterwards, she wouldn’t approach them again. She rarely cried in front of people because she knew even though she cried, those people wouldn’t care.
The people who cared about her and the people who didn’t care about her, she had originally been clear about it in her heart a long time ago.
Envy makes people crazy. Because of envy, she had become someone she didn’t know.
It was like she was having a very very long nightmare. Suddenly, one day she woke up.
She inexplicably cried. Qin Zhe was scared. He hurriedly found a tissue to help her wipe her eyes. Her tears kept on falling; he kept on wiping endlessly. It wasn’t like in the past. Before, when she cried, he would complain “Girls are so much trouble” while crudely using his sleeve to wipe off her tears. Afterwards, they slowly drifted apart. Unless, there was a troublesome matter, she wouldn’t think to go find him. But now, when he was lowering his head, his expression was very dedicated and very earnest. His action of wiping of her tears with the tissue was also very gentle and soft. He softly absorbed those falling tears with the tissue. It seemed that he was probably afraid of hurting her.
He had changed. He had became so strange.
She asked him, “What to do? I can’t walk out.”
He was moving forward. They were all moving forward. Only she was looking back. Only she was standing still. She was reluctant to leave everything in the past. She was immersed inside those memories. She couldn’t walk nor was she willing to leave. Only, he kept on walking further. Finally one day, she wouldn’t be able to see him again. The reason her overbearingness and inability to reason with became famous was actually because she was a coward. She was afraid of rejection so she was overbearing. She was afraid to lose so she resorted to all means………… In the final a.n.a.lysis, she had no confidence. But unfortunately, she also wasn’t very intelligent. She was fooled by people every time.
Qin Zhi stopped for a moment. He looked at pair of eyes that were filled with sorrow. He unhurriedly lowered his head to continue wiping her tears. His voice was soft, almost like it didn’t exist, “It’s all right. I will accompany you.”
Lou Yao Yao’s eyes completely filled with tears. She wasn’t able to see his expression clearly, but her heart was calmed down by his words.
Lou Yao Yao cried very quickly. She also very quickly kept on walking. Before long, she pulled Qin Zhi along to stroll. It seemed as if she had not just cried. Qin Zhi also avoided discussing the topic.
They went to the school they once attended. Lou Yao Yao incessantly kept on talking on the way. It was mostly amusing things that had happened in the past. Qin Zhi occasionally echoed her. Most of the time, he was simply silently listening. After removing a youth’s impatience, his personality was even more calm. It was even a little taciturn.
At the barbecue stall in front of the school entrance, Lou Yao Yao ordered one of each kind of MaLaTang. But, she only ate one. The rest went in Qin Zhi’s mouth. Finally, other than a bowl of hot and sour noodles, Lou Yao Yao didn’t eat a lot. But ,Qin Zhi ate until he was stuffed. The food here wasn’t the most delicious nor was its quant.i.ty the greatest. However, this was absolutely the place where eating had the most feeling. Nowhere else could compare.{Link to see MaLaTang}
It was time for school to end. The students started to file out. A long line of cars appeared on the road one after the another. The pink bicycle that with Qin Zhi and Lou Yao Yao on it was mixed in with the group of students. It was like a a crane in a flock of chickens {way above the common} .
A male student said to a female student, “Haha, that man is pretty foolish.”
The female student slapped him, “You’re foolish.”
Despite the strange looks from the students, Lou Yao Yao was overjoyed. Qin Zhi’s face was black. He tried to ignore the sound of the student’s discussions and Lou Yao Yao’s laughter as much as possible.
When she had finished ridiculing him, Lou Yao Yao made Qin Zhi send them to the movie center. Although she had only done half of what she had wanted to do with Qin Zhi in the town, she hadn’t forgotten that she had come to have a date with Qin Zhi. Something every date must have was——watching a movie.
Today, there were several blockbuster showing; however, Lou Yao Yao had already watched them. Naturally, she wasn’t interested in watching them again. Qin Zhi went along with her in everything. It took them a long time to decide what to watch. Eventually, they choose a relatively unknown literary romance film.
The plot was very simple: In the time of the Republic of China, a young couple were unable to be together for various reasons. They experienced misunderstandings and mutually injured each other. After going through pain and resentment, they were finally happy and walked together.
The actors acted very well. Their actions and expressions were also very moving. It was a good romantic movie.
When watching the movie, the mood of the girls in the movie theater, fluctuate up and down along with the plot. However, in contrast, ruining the mood, once in a while there were “kadakada” chewing sounds. In the sad parts, when everyone’s tears were falling, there was a “pupupu” sound. {sound of escaping laughter}
After being glared at again, Lou Yao Yao bit into a a hamburger and looked innocently at Qin Zhi, “Don’t you think it’s really funny?”
Qin Zhi totally ignored her. Only she could laugh when a group of women were crying their eyes out. Actually, you couldn’t blame Lou Yao Yao for this. Using a seven years later perspective, this play’s plot was too pale and the dialogue was way too hilarious. She complained to various G.o.ds. Unfortunately, even if she said the reasons for her laughter, other people wouldn’t be able to comprehend them.
Lou Yao Yao also didn’t want to laugh, but she was unable to bear it.
After seeing the ending, Lou Yao Yao’s expression had a change.
On the black and white screen, the figure of the male and female leads when they were young emerged. He was carrying her through a peach forest where the peach blossoms were in full bloom.
In the next scene, they were both old. His feet was no longer nimble. He wasn’t able to cycle any more. So she carried him. Pa.s.sing by the place where peach forest formerly was, the peach blossoms were no longer remained nor did the peach forest. Only the old them remained.
The old couple smiled, hand in hand——The End.
Going out of the movie theater, many people were silent. Lou Yao Yao was no exception. Qin Zhi retrieved the parked bike. Lou Yao Yao sat and hugged his waist.
“Qin Zhi, right now you are carrying me. When you are unable to walk, I’ll carry you.”
Qin Zhi was amused by her, “Why not now? However, at that time, you won’t be able to carry me.”
Lou Yao Yao twisted the flesh on his waist, “Are you asking for a fight? You’re an idiot. Whether or not I can carry you is of secondary importance. The important thing is my regard for you. My regard! Do you understand!?”
“Okay. Okay. Okay. Whatever you say is right.” He thought she was just being unreasonable again.”
Lou Yao Yao was very angry, but she didn’t plan to continue speaking about this topic.
Therefore, she used all her strength to twist his flesh. However, her little bit was strength wasn’t enough to hurt him. Lou Yao Yao twisted for a long time, but saw he had no response. So she changed from twisting to tickling.
Qin Zhi wasn’t afraid of anything else, but he was afraid of tickling.
“Stop it. I’m riding a bike.”
Lou Yao Yao naturally didn’t listen and continue to tickle him.
“Lou Yao Yao, I’m going get angry.”
“Haha, go ahead and get angry. Be angry. It’s just a paper tiger’s anger. I’m not at all afraid. Come, meow for me.”
“Lou Yao Yao!”
The two people laughed as they made their way to the her community. When they arrived at the community door, Lou Yao Yao didn’t want to part so quickly. Therefore, she made Qin Zhi stop at the door. The two people walked back with Qin Zhi naturally holding her hand. The two people didn’t think there was anything wrong with this. It had become a custom that had penetrated to their bones from the time when Qin Zhi pulled her hand when she had a runny nose with mucus hanging down.
Lou Yao Yao opened his hand and intertwined her finger with his. She looked straightforward, pretending not to see his suspicious look. Lou Yao Yao was afraid so she didn’t dare speak. Qin Zhi also didn’t speak. However, Lou Yao Yao could feel that he had been continuously looking at her. The night was very quiet. The two people were silent, but they didn’t feel uncomfortable. Lou Yao Yao even felt her heart was a little indistinctly leaping for joy.
However long a road was, it had to come to an end sometime. Despite knowing clearly that there were many days in the future. Despite knowing that there were many times they could see each other. Lou Yao Yao felt that she was reluctant to part.
But Qin Zhi didn’t live in this community. The community he was living in was very far from here. It wasn’t good for Lou Yao Yao to continuously keep him here and not let him go home.
Qin Zhi started his car and leaned his face towards her. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. Then she turned her face to the side, “Good night.”
“Good night.” His expression was a little helpless, but his eyes contained a smile.
Lou Yao Yao who obtained a good night kiss wanted to watch him leave. But Qin Zhi used his actions to represent his meaning. If she didn’t go in, he wouldn’t leave.
In the end, Lou Yao Yao compromised. She walked a few steps, then suddenly ran back, “Qin Zhi.”
“En.”
“If you hate me, you have to tell me.”
“Okay.”
Her tone and expression showed that she was being serious. Qin Zhi’s happy expression didn’t change. He didn’t show a tiny bit of curiosity on his face nor did he ask her why. He just agreed earnestly like every single time she had been unreasonable in the past.
Lou Yao Yao stood in the room and watched Qin Zhi’s car leave.
Qin Zhi. Even if I am scared. Even if I am rejected. I won’t give up. Even if, the conclusion………..is that you hate me. Only, if……..you hate, please tell me. That way, although I still won’t give up. But I do my utmost to let you hate me just a little less.