When I come out of the office, my face is calm. I light a cigarette, take a deep breath, and then slowly walk down the stairs.When I just turn the corner, I pinch out my cigarette. I see Tiger standing there smiling at me.
It"s a fine day. We both stand under the eaves, look at each other and smile.
"Get ready. I"ve already got the visa for our flight tomorrow morning." Tiger says peacefully.
"Um." I nod and tell him, "Silo will come with us."
"Oh." Tiger doesn"t have any surprises: "Well... No problem. I was going to take someone else. Since Papa 8 decide to let you take Silo, I"ll arrange."
Tiger comes up, pats me on the shoulder, and says with smile, "It won"t be difficult, but it won"t be easy too. Just get ready tonight... You don"t have to bring too much stuff. You"ll have everything you need when you get there."
"Understand."
Suddenly, Tiger steps back two steps, looks at my face, smileing and sighs heartily, "Little 5, how long have you been here?"
"Almost half a year."
"Well, almst half a year." Tiger"s hands are behind his back: "You were still an impulsive young man when I saw you half a year ago. Now, at last, you look sedate."
I nod, then look into his eyes and say seriously, "You taught me a lot."
Tiger is smiling.
The sun shines on us, a little warm. We both look at each other and smile, then shake hands with each other. Tiger"s tone is like that of a brother: "Don"t worry. It"s going to be a success this time. I"ll take care of you!"
Then we turn and leave, and in the instant of turning around, the smile on my face suddenly disappears. Instead it is a haze!
I do not stop, trot across the garage and go back to my room.
"What"s wrong?" I look up and see Jojo standing in front of me. She seems to have just taken a bath, changed her clothes, wearing a zippered jacket, and her hair is tied up with a handkerchief. She looks refreshing.
"I"ll go out tomorrow." I meditate for a moment and tell her, "Do business."
There"s a slight gloom in her eyes. But then she laughs and says, "Go to h.e.l.l again?"
"No, it won"t be too dangerous this time... It shouldn"t." I dodge her eyes and then walk inside, pulling out a suitcase from the bed. Open the wardrobe and find some clothes to stuff in.
Suddenly, my movements stops.
In my hand is a black cloth, a little old, but clean! Tiger gave me it, and I remember he was patting me on the shoulder and smiling when he gave it to me.
I hesitate for a moment, then put it in the suitcase.
"Where go?" Jojo asks.
"Back to mainland first, then go to Vietnam." I reply her. I don"t lie to Jojo, because I have absolute trust in her. She is also very smart. I tell her things, and she will not speak to others.
"Back?" Jojo is a little incredulous and asks again, "Back to mainland? You?"
I laugh, but bitterly: "Well, just stay for a while, I"ll leave soon, not for a long time."
That night, I don"t talk with Jojo again. I lie on the ground... In fact, I have been sleeping on the ground with a mattress these days. After all, joking is one thing, but I still have some psychological obstacles when I really sleep on same bed with Jojo.
I hold my head in my hands and look at the ceiling in a daze. The mattress under me is very soft, sleeping comfortably and not feeling cold. But I just can"t sleep tonight.
In the darkness, I hear Jojo breathe evenly. Well, maybe she"s asleep.
I sigh, then sit up, carefully lift the quilt, stand up, go to the wardrobe, pull out the bottom drawer, put it aside, and finally pull something out of the interlayer inside the drawer.
This is something wrapped up with newspaper. I open it one layer at a time, and inside it is a gun. There are two bullet clips beside it. I hold it in my hand, the cold handle of the gun touches it, and it feels very hard... I sigh, then pick up the gun and carefully wipe it.
I twist a bullet and pinch it in my hand. Then I suddenly raise the gun, point it at the door, then point it at the window, make several aiming movements, take a deep breath and put it down.
"What are you doing?"
Jojo"s voice comes out of the darkness. I look back and see her on the bed with her upper body support by her hand and looking at me.
"Nothing." I answer faintly, put the gun back in the drawer compartment.
I go back to the mattress and sit down, feeling a little restless. I can"t help looking for a cigarette. But after touching it for quite a while, I just find that the cigarette box is empty.
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"Can"t sleep?" Jojo"s voice is quiet, she sighs in a deep voice, "Little 5, are you worring about back to mainland?"
"A little." I nod. In the darkness, I smile and say slowly, "I never thought I could go back so soon."
Then we fall into silence again.
Don"t know how long after that, Jojo"s voice comes from the bed: "Little 5, come over here."
"Well?"
"Come here for a minute." Her voice is calm.
In the darkness, I slowly stand up and go to the bedside. Jojo gently moves in and gives up a vacancy. I lie down and feel her hand holds me gently.
Her body is very soft. There"s a sweet smell drilling into my nose...
I hold her in my arms...
It"s a strange feeling. There seems to be nothing about l.u.s.t in our embrace. Just feel that at this moment, my heart has been a little warm comfort.
Jojo sighs beside my ear: "Just sleep. Everything will be fine."
I close my eyes, just open my arms and holding Jojo tightly. My fingers touch her shoulder blades on her back, which is very thin.
For the first time, I suddenly realize that she is a woman, a very gentle, very feminine woman.
Finally. My heart calms down, and then I rall asleep.
Jojo doesn"t get up when I leave in the morning. I know that she probably stayed up all night because I felt her hands clapping lightly on me as if my mother had coaxed me to sleep when I was a kid... This seemingly alternative woman used her rare tenderness to comfort me.
Just as I"m picking up my suitcase to go out, she lies in bed and says slowly:
"Come back alive."
...
I can see that Silo is nervous.
He has a serious expression. Even a little bit too serious. As I walk past, I feel his body is stretching straight.
I smile and pat him on the cheek: "Handsome boy, easy! We are not going to fight. You should take it as a tour."
Silo is trying to smile at me, and I can sense that his smile is forced out.
I understand that because it"s his first time to go out to do business for Papa 8. Ir is very alike my very first time, I can exactly feel his mood at the moment.
Tiger is wearing a suit, sungla.s.ses on his nose and a suitcase in his hand. Looking from the outside, he really looks like the boss of the three of us. From a position point of view, he is indeed the leader of our trip.
A brother drives us to the airport and waves goodbye to us. Before leaving, he looks at me and facing me with a very respectful look and tone: "Brother little 5, we are waiting for your good news!"
Brother little 5…
I laugh with a little complicated feeling. When I hear others call me like that again, I overcome with emotion.
As before, although I am not very old, the brothers around me will respectfully call me "Brother little 5".
It"s not just about age. It"s a complex mix of strength, status and many other factors. I know that my previous series of performances, from my works for the gang, to my openly taking on the challengefrom Sand Tiger and kill him on the stage, have earned me the respects.
Silo, although he"s two or three years older than me, but he acts more like my little brother in every way. Maybe, I"ve experienced too much.
When the plane takes off, I"m sitting in my seat, chewing gum. Silo is sitting next to me, who has gradually escaped from the tension, but is somewhat exciting. He"s smiling at the beautiful stewardess coming and going. And I close my eyes, could not get rid of a voice in my mind.
The voice is Papa 8"s!
In my mind repeats the last words he said to me:
"This time out, you"re going to help me get rid of a person..."