Evil Awe-Inspiring

She steps back half a step, looks up at me, then slowly takes a smoke, then slowly spew out.

After the blue smoke, her eyes are dim and twinkling.

"I am a woman." She finally opens her mouth, due to she has cried, her voice is hoa.r.s.e, with a little nasal: "And I am no longer young, for a woman, over thirty years old, is a terrible thing."

I say nothing.

She leans against the wall with her arms, and her face is very weak. She has a feeling of distressing care: "Chen Yang... Do you know how a woman"s feeling when over thirty years old?"

"... I don"t know." I admit it frankly.

"It"s hard." Her mouth spit out these three words, and then her eyes glance on the ceiling. She seems to have a gentle smile, but there is no joy in the smile: "I dress myself beautiful every day. But only when I take off my make-up every night can I know that I have a little more crow"s-tail lines around my eyes. Although everything I give myself is the best. But how many years can a woman like me remain young?"

"I"m the only one at home. I"m even scared when it gets dark. Sometimes I try to find an excuse to go home. I"d rather stay in the company until n.o.body else leaves. Because I know, the house is empty, even if I sit for a night, no one will come and say a word to me! In the night, when I sit here, I feel cold all over! That kind of coolness comes out from the bottom of my heart! It"s from the bone! I will try my best to turn on all the lights at home! Turn on the TV, the stereo, all of them! For a whole night! Every room! Then I sit on the sofa and wait..." Suddenly she gives a bitter smile. Then she shakes her head and whispers, "I don"t even know what I"m waiting for."

"Chen Yang... I"m over thirty years old... The youth left to me is very few. Maybe not for long, no... Should say now! Now I"m walking on the road, some little girls have already called my aunt! Instead of calling my sister! But sometimes I think, I am thirty years old, but still a person, no one loves me, no one accompanies me, no one will coax me to be happy, coax me to sleep. When I woke up with a nightmare in the middle of the night, I didn"t even have a hug to calm me down. Do you know..." She looks into my eyes, tears flashing in her eyes: "Often at night, after I had nightmares, I sat down with a quilt in my arms until dawn."

I can"t say a word at all!

If a woman is willing to show all her weakness and helplessness in front of you, so what else can you say?

"You really look like a person." She sighs, and a strange look slips through her eyes. "I remember that I have said to you, you look like him. Even the character is very similar too, the same stubborn. You are tough, not willing to bow. But your eyes are occasionally showing very gentle lights. It"s similar to him, too."

I still can"t speak a word.

"See you for the first time. I have some... I almost couldn"t control my emotions." She shakes her head. "Do you remember what I asked you to do for me in my house that afternoon?"

"I remember." I nod.

Her eyes shows a trace of shyness and guilt: "That day, I was thinking all night. I decided to bring you back. I... I had a plan... Or to say a decision that made me feel ashamed of myself."

"Well?"

She takes a deep breath, blushes and trembles, "I... I was going to seduce you."

My brain is almost exploded!

She... Want to seduce me?

She intends to... Seduce... Me?

Her face is ashamed, her head is almost hanging down to her chest, and she says in a very thin voice, "I... Is it shameless? Am I a very shameless woman?"

When she raises her head again, tears come down from her eyes: "I feel degrading too. I thought for a night, I couldn"t stand it anymore. I just want to be able to have a warm embrace. I want a person can take care of me carefully, be kind to me, even if only once, it"ll be enough! Enough!"

She reaches out and gently holds my face. "And you look like him so much. So much alike! I couldn"t help thinking that even if I could only stay in your arms for a while. Just for a moment, I"m satisfied too. Sorry Chen Yang... Sorry, I know my ideas are dirty and despicable. But I really can"t stand it anymore. I don"t want to wake up every night and sit until dawn!"

Although there is no mirror, but I can feel that my face must be ugly now.

Finally, she sighs, "But... The other day, when you came, I found myself still can"t do it." Suddenly she hugs me hard and says hoa.r.s.ely, "I"m not a degrading woman! I"m not! Not!" Then she seems to lose her strength and falls softly into my arms. I quickly put my arms around her and say softly, "Do you want to sit down?"

"No!" She says softly in my arms, "Let me hold for a minute, just a minute, may I?"

I sigh deeply and hold my arms.

She groans a little, her head rests on my shoulder, and whispering on. Her voice is blurred and somewhat dreamy. "You were here that afternoon and helped me do so many things. I looked at you in the back, just looked and looked. One moment it"s you, another moment it"s him, but the decision in my heart collapses at a fraction of the time. Chen Yang, do you know? Since I lived here, you..." She looks up and says, "You"re the first man to walk into this house."

"I believe!" I nod at once.

"Um..." She hums softly: "That afternoon, I drank wine, a little dizzy, but I was not drunk... At that time, I thought just let it go. Just let me degrade for once. Anyway, I won"t meet anybody who really loves me anymore in my life, there won"t be someone anymore. Just one time, just once." Suddenly she"s laughing, as if mocking: "That afternoon... Do you think I"m really drunk? I didn"t... I actually knew that I was conscious at the time. You took me upstairs, and I was wondering whether you couldn"t help it. If you"re like the guys outside who"re not good, just thinking about how to get a woman to bed. I think, come on, just one time, just take it as a warm memory, let me have less nightmares in my future life. Actually, I"m still very timid. I dare not take the initiative, just give myself to you, then if you want to do anything to me, I will not resist." At last her voice cools down: "But only once, if you really did something that day, I"ll let you leave the next day."

"And then?" Suddenly I ask a silly, idiotic question.

She smiles and looks up.

Look at her smile from such a close distance. It"s really beautiful. It"s fascinating. Her eyes are curved, like the crescent moon, slightly upward corner, very charming, very amorous appearance.

"And then... Well... When you took me upstairs, I was ready. Think you were going to carry me into the room. But I didn"t expect you to be such a fellow who had held me up for a lap and down again. I almost couldn"t pretend anymore. I said to myself at that time, you are a strange person. Are you suddenly cowardly at such a moment?" She blinks and looks a little strayed. "Your men, aren"t you all impulsive?"

I open my mouth and have a little sweat on my head: "That... I really didn"t think of any other evil thoughts that day. I just wanted to take you into the room and let you lie down and rest. I didn"t expect anything else. It"s my conscience of heaven and earth!"

She nods. Her eyes are full of tenderness: "I... Believe you!"

"Were you really not drunk that day?" I have some bitterness on my face.

"A little." She smiles faintly and says, "Although kept a little sober, but I also really felt dizzy."

"How dizzy"

"I"m so dizzy that... I can dare to indulge myself."

I"m speechless.

"Chen Yang, thank you! Fortunately, you didn"t touch me that day." She then draws back her smile and looks at me very seriously. "Because you didn"t touch me that day, it would give me a chance to feel this feeling now slowly, or torture perhaps?"

"Well…" I"m still speechless.

"That day, you did not touch me, but later you went out to buy me medicine, and then came back, I really could not hold anymore. My brain is very dizzy, very sleepy..." She blushes and says, "Later, you slept on the sofa with me for an afternoon. Among that time, I was awake for a while, and I was over the bottle. I had some regrets in my heart. I wanted to push you away. But I couldn"t bear it. I hadn"t slept so smoothly for a long time. You held me in the back, held me up, and didn"t let me fall down. I felt very dependent. I was a little worried and uneasy, but then I had a very good sleep. I said to myself, you are a good man. A real good man!"

I feel a little burning on my face. Actually, all that afternoon, I held her in my arms and fought against my own impulses all the time.

"Later that night, my body... Well, I"m not feeling well. You take good care of me. I haven"t been looked after like that for a long time." Her eyes are filled with emotion, "Do you remember that I was angry with you? For Yumi. I was very sad at that time. Suddenly a childlike temper came out of my heart, as if it was a kind of fear. I"m afraid that one of my favorite toys I just saw will be stolen by someone else!"

"Do you remember when we came out of dinner at night and got angry with you in the car? In fact, I know in my heart that my temper is very unreasonable, and the words I said are childish. But I just can"t help it!" She blushes and hangs her head and says, "Actually, girls are all like that. I just want to lose my temper intentionally and no reason on purpose. I don"t know why. I want to feel the feeling of being coaxed by you. As a result, you really come to coax me with good words. In fact, it was fun to fight with you, especially when I watched your gentle tone to coax me, I was almost crying out at that time."

"…" I am speechless still.

Sister, come on, you are my boss! I was holding the meal plate from you at that time. Would it be all right if I didn"t say something gentle to coax you?

Of course, I absolutely dare not say that now!

"Later, you took me to midnight dinner. I haven"t been to that dilapidated roadside shop for a long time!" Her eyes lights up: "Usually people invite me to dinner, are ordered those high-end restaurants, you take me to eat those barbecues, but I think it"s very interesting, grabbing meat kebabs with hands, it"s fun." At this point, she says in a deep voice: "Later, we met those hooligans. When they insult me, you stood up and fought with them." Suddenly she"s staring at me. "And you pulled me behind you. You used your body to block in front of me."

Suddenly she"s hugging me forcefully: "Chen Yang, do you know that after you were taken away by the police, I cried all the way back? I even broke my oath and called for help with my relationship! I"ve forgotten how long... How long has it been since I cried for a man!" She grits her mouth and staring at me. "After I met you, I cried a lot more than all these years combined!"

"I…" I just want to say something. She has reached out and blocked my mouth to stop me from speaking.

"I"m willing!" She says firmly, "I"m willing! These are all my own volunteers! That night, I would rather you sent me home. That"s because I just want to stay with you a little longer, just a little longer!"

"But…"

"No but!" Her eyes suddenly show an unprecedented light: "I have no time! I am not young! Sometimes I wonder if G.o.d has pity on me and has finally sent you to me. After you sent me home that evening, I stood behind the door for a long time, and on several occasions I almost couldn"t help rushing out to chase you."

I thought to myself: Fortunately, you didn"t come out. Otherwise you would see me fighting with Tommy.

"I thought about it all night, then I made the decision. I decided I couldn"t let go this time. I decided to try to catch you!" Her eyes darken sharply. "But the next day, I knew you had an accident. When I get to the hospital… I saw your... Girlfriend..." There is a sad smile on her face. "You know what?" she says softly. "I even had the thought to die at that time... I just saw a little hope, but you destroyed it alive in front of me!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

"Don"t say sorry to me." She says lonely, "I almost exhausted all my strength to control myself from going to the hospital to see you again, you know? Every day I stayed in Korea, I would think of you when I couldn"t sleep at night. I always remembered the scene when you held me behind you that day. When I hurt my foot, you held me in your arms to go out. I called Penny every day and ask her about you situation."

Her eyes in front of me are heavy and tender that I can"t bear, and I can"t refuse.

It takes almost all my willpower to move my eyes away: "Nanny... I don"t know what to say. I don"t know how to express the shock in my heart... Um..."

"I know what you want to say!" She grits her teeth and says, "You want to say you already have a girlfriend, then you want to say no and then you say sorry to me, don"t you?"

I would like to say "yes", but in the face of her, this word can"t be spoken out of my mouth.

"Chen Yang..." Her voice seems to have infinite affection. My heart can"t help moving. She has put her hand around my neck and says, "I don"t want you to do anything... I won"t ask you to do anything special either. I just want you to stay with me. Don"t go out of my sight so that I can see you from time to time, will you?"

"…"

"I really don"t want too much. I won"t steal anything from your girlfriend. I don"t want to disturb your life... I just want you to stay! Just stay!" She almost implores, "Don"t go, please! No matter what you ask for, I will promise you! As long as you leave me one last hope, don"t take it away completely, please!"

My heart is completely softened.

This scene, such a touching beauty is holding you to tell you her heartfelt. What else may you ask for?

Besides, Do I have the heart to hurt such a weak and helpless woman?

"Actually... Actually, I am not a good person." I hesitate.

"I know!" Suddenly she blinks and whispers, "That day I was drunk on the sofa, you thought I was asleep, and you said, "Fortunately, I"m out of the lake, otherwise..." Hha, this shows that you are actually a very good person."

Seeing me finally stop talking, a strange look is flashing in her eyes. Her arms are grabbing my neck contract slightly, and her beautiful face slowly approaches me with infinite shyness, closer and closer.

Finally, my mouth tastes a soft fragrance...

That feeling...

... It"s sweet...

My brain is quickly sinking into a blank. My arms embrace her involuntarily.

I feel my head is empty, complete loss, some whirring, head-heavy and foot-light feeling. My heart has a trace of sweetness, a trace of joy, a trace of pleasure, and a trace of uneasiness.

I can"t even remember the details of how I got out of Nanny"s house.

I just remember, after a long kiss that I was about to suffocate, she was as soft as a pool of water, poured into my arms, and a pair of eyes almost dripped out of the water!

I immediately realized that I had to leave! Otherwise, I am afraid my self-control ability is not as good as I imagined.

Then what?

Well... Then, she had held my arms and sent me out. She was shy just like a young girl. She lifted her feet and kissed me on the face. "Chen Yang... Come and pick me up tomorrow."

How did I answer that?

Oh... Yes, what I said at the time was, "OK."

Standing outside her house and being blown by the wind, I wake up and pat myself on the face.

Femme fatale! Absolute femme fatale! I"ve been so obsessed that I don"t even know who I"m!

Turn around and look at the closed door, I"m no long be able to pluck up courage to knock it.

Clapping my forehead hard, I have no choice but to get on the car, start, and leave.

Along the way, I am a little fl.u.s.tered and almost ran through the red light several times. And I had two other times when I was goofing off at the red light, when the light was changing, the car behind me impatiently honked to urge me. I put my head out in a fit of anger and shouted, "Press what! You have a horn, I don"t! Don"t press!" Then I scold and start the car and drive on.

After a while, I suddenly feel that I want to find someone to talk to. I need to find a friend to talk about it. So I drive up a small road and stop by the roadside, take out my cell phone and look at the address book.

Jojo? Forget about her. She is upset with me now.

Azle? Such a talkative b.a.s.t.a.r.d, if I tell him, he might tell Didi someday in future. I"ll be finished then. Pa.s.s!

Wood? Wood is good! He can be trusted to keep the secret.

When I dial the phone and Wood gives me a feeding, I immediately sigh, "Wood, I"m in big trouble!"

Afterwards, I give a complete account of what happened in Nanny"s home in the afternoon, I even after a hesitation to tell him about the last affectionate kiss either.

Of course, I didn"t say anything about Nanny"s bathing accident.

Wood didn"t say a word in the whole process of my narration, just listen quietly.

Finally, when I finish, he suddenly says on the other end of the phone:

"Didi is a good girl."

"I know!" I"m a little impatient: "That"s why I"m in a worry! I don"t want to do this two-way thing!"

"Nanny is good too."

"... I know." I"m shouting, "I"m not looking for you to judge these two girls. I need your advice! What shall I do?!"

After a long silence on the other end of the phone, he says, "Whatever."

I"m getting angry and yelling, "What do you mean by that? I was looking for Nanny to finish this today! But I didn"t expect this to happen! Do you think I want to? Do you think I want to make this happen? You think it"s funny interesting and cool for me to have foot in both camps?!" I"m so angry that I complain loudly, "Man, it"s all f.u.c.king forced!"

The other end of the phone is silent for a while. Suddenly, Wood"s voice comes through smoothly and clearly. This guy says two more sentences.

I only hear his voice on the phone clearly saying: "Forced, not all... I want to correct you, there are many people who reap the whirlwind they have themselves stirred up."

"…" I"m speechless for another time.

"OK, aren"t you going to pick Nanny up tomorrow? Don"t be late."

The phone goes off, leaving me staring blankly there.