Evil God Average

Hi, sorry for the uh, close to one week delay. Last Sunday just as I was about to finish chapter 20, I got into a big argument with father again, and couldn’t find a chance to sit down at my comp for a few hours at a time. I could have done translations in parts, but my quality goes down a lot when I do so.
But mn, I basically resolved the argument by getting an interview/test thingy for teaching English in j.a.pan and threatening to move there, lol. Of course, I don’t know a thing about english grammar due to Australian English curriculums so I’ll probably fail for sure, but as long as I show that I’m willing to change countries, it should pacify him for a while!

Oh yeah, Kitaseno-sensei has a twitter now, so you can follow them here: doesn’t matter that you can’t read moonrunes. I’m sure that just having a large number of followers is encouraging, so yeah! Go make an account and follow them.
[Wakes up to sudden influx of 200 foreigners.]
Ah, but if you do follow them, neeeever link to this blog please. I’m translating everything without permission, since I figure things will get annoying once they get published, so yeah. But well, at least I’m not making money off my piracy.

Kitaseno-sensei has written three parodies of fairytales featuring the cast of Evil G.o.d Average. I will be translating them. Just, not yet, since we haven’t even gotten through half of the main series yet. They’ve also begun writing the side stories for Arc 2, so yeah.

Um, mn. If things stay calm, hopefully I’ll get back to normal speed. I’ve been really itching to translate Tilea and Otoburi.

“Anri, are you in!?”

I turned in shock towards Leonora who had suddenly burst in while I was having tea with Tena and Lili.
Because we accidentally met eyes, she turned blue from the effect of the mystic eyes, and began to dogeza on the spot.
When I averted my eyes in a fl.u.s.ter, I asked Tena to brew some for Leonora too, after she had finished helping her up.

“S-, Suddenly going through a horrible time like that.”

“I-, I said I was sorry.”

“No, well, it’s my fault for looking at your eyes though.”

Leonora sighed, after having sat down to some tea and catching her breath.
We introduced her to Lili as well, who hadn’t been here the last time she stayed.
Lili’s shyness of strangers came into play and she hid behind Tena, but once she realised that Leonora was harmless, she was very quickly able to speak to her normally. …Even though I’ve been living with her for days now. This is unfair.
Also, it turns out that the reason Lili kept running away from me was because of the miasma filling the dungeon. It took me a while to notice since it had no effect on Tena and I, but even if I call this place the residential area, it’s just something I decided arbitrarily and it’s still inside the dungeon so of course there’s miasma here. Apparently the combo attack from my Evil G.o.d Aura and the fear inducing miasma makes me seem ridiculously terrifying. Of course, since the miasma is a characteristic of the dungeon, it’s not something I can stop even if I wanted to. That’s why I settled the problem by tampering with the circulation so that it’d suck out the miasma from the residential area and blow it into other areas. The miasma in the other floors might have gotten worse by the same amount, but well, I guess that can’t be helped.
Having understood the problem and expelling the miasma from the residential area, Lili finally stopped running away from me. Even so, whenever our eyes met, she’d run away as you’d expect though.

“And so, what’s up, all of a sudden? From how you were acting earlier, it seems like you have something to say, but?”

“Yeah, that’s right. While I was travelling I heard a disturbing rumour, you see, so I came back here in a fl.u.s.ter.”

“A disturbing rumour?”

Just hearing that was disturbing enough, and now I’m scared to hear the rest.
Speaking of which, didn’t I hear the Evil G.o.d rumour from Leonora as well?

“There’s a rumour spreading that there are Evil G.o.d Cultists gathering around Riemel town, you see.”

“Ahh, so it’s about that.”

I unconsciously relaxed.
Sorry to Leonora who journeyed all the way back here to tell me, but if that’s what this is all about, then I already know.
The Hero(lol) Party let me down and didn’t come, and though the construction of the temple that was arbitrarily set outside the dungeon entrance is still going slowly, it’s making progress.
It’s certainly troublesome, but it’s nothing life-threatening, so I’ll just relax and take my time to come up with a countermeasure.
But still, going by the way she said things, could it be that Leonora didn’t see the stuff around the dungeon herself? Since I told her about the back entrance as well, if she came in from there, it makes sense that she’d arrive here without pa.s.sing through the blockade.

“Mu, so it was true after all? In that case, the rumour that I heard is seeming closer and closer to fact.”

“That wasn’t the disturbing rumour?”

“No, the fact that Evil G.o.d Cultists are gathering is nothing more than the precondition. You see, the disturbing rumour I heard is about the Order of the Sacred Light being gathered to subjugate the gathering cultists.”

Order of the Sacred Light?

“T-, That can’t be…-!?”

It seems that Tena knows something since she turned pale, but as expected, perhaps Lili was too young to know, because seeing Tena she just tilted her head in wonder.

“You seem quite relaxed, huh. Even though you should know quite well what this means.”

“Uh, no, what’s the Order of the Sacred Light?”

Hearing my question, Leonora and Tena fell forward powerlessly.

“Y-, You… You don’t know of the Order of the Sacred Light? I’ve been thinking this for a while, but are you really a human?”

“Anri-sama… The Order of the Sacred Light is just as it sounds; a knight order formed by the call of the Church of Sacred Light. Only the Pope has the right to call them, and it comprises knights from various countries.”

In other words, something like the Crusaders of this world?
Also, Leonora sure is rude. It’s inevitable that I don’t know about this world.

“It seems that you don’t understand, so I’ll say this as well, but the state religion of all the human nations should be the Faith of Sacred Light. Becoming the target of the Order of the Sacred Light is in other words becoming the enemy of the entire human race.”

NANI?
The degree of danger just shot to another level.
From what I hear, certainly the Evil G.o.d Cultists are the enemy of the Church, but didn’t things get blown up way too quickly?
Although it’s true that cultists are gathering, is all of the human race joining forces just for a group that’s only a few hundred at best?
When I asked this, Leonora nodded as though it were natural.

“Certainly, it does feel unnatural that they would mobilise on this huge a scale just for the Evil G.o.d Cultists. It makes sense that we should view them as having an objective beyond this, I suppose.”

“An objective beyond this?”

“The investigation of the rumoured Evil G.o.d, and then the subjugation, or sealing of it, I suppose.”

I see. If it wasn’t just the cultists, but the Evil G.o.d as well, then I can a.s.sent to this exaggerated mobilisation.
To get attacked by all of humanity like this, this Evil G.o.d person sure has it rough too, huhh~

“I think you already understand, but it’s you, you know?”

I know it’s me, dammmit.
At least allow me some escapism.

“I’m not the Evil G.o.d.”

“That isn’t the problem right now. Whether or not it’s true, if the human race recognises you as such, then it’s the same thing.”

Certainly, whether or not I’m the Evil G.o.d, as long as the top bra.s.s of each country and the Church recognise me as the Evil G.o.d, it won’t change the fact that I’ll be their target for elimination.
But why I’m being recognised as the Evil G.o.d is a mystery.

“The leaders of the countries and Church should know that the Evil G.o.d is imaginary.”

“Mu, now that you mention it, that’s true…”

According to what I heard from Leonora earlier, the Evil G.o.d was a fict.i.tious enemy created to give authority to the Church of Sacred Light.
Normal people or those in lower positions are one thing, but the higher-ups know that the Evil G.o.d doesn’t exist, so they’d probably just laugh at rumours of the Evil G.o.d appearing.

“Or perhaps it’s because they know that it is fict.i.tious. It is not strange to think that the subjugation will be easy since its just a fake and self-styled Evil G.o.d. And what’s more, fake though it may be, as long as ordinary people and believers think that it’s the real thing, they can heighten their authority by subjugating it.”

Even though I don’t recall ever calling myself that.
But I also think that Leonora’s train of thought is correct.
It’s nuisancing others, but as long as the people believe that it’s true, regardless of whether it is or not, they probably won’t be able to leave it alone.

“And so, when will the Order of the Sacred Light be coming?”

“I don’t know that much, but if you consider them as being gathered and prepared from various nations, at the very least a few months, and perhaps it might even take a year, depending.”

As you’d expect, once it gets to this ma.s.sive a scale, they can’t mobilise that easily, huh?
It was quite a headache of a topic, but the fact that I still have room to think is great luck.
I really can’t relax with the situation as it is, but since I have time, I’ll carefully figure out which choice is best.

…There was a period when I thought like that too.

“Leonora.”

“T-, This isn’t my fault, you know!?”

Using the crow from last time, the surroundings of the dungeon were projected onto the mirror.
And on that mirror were the marching forms of soldiers on the highway that led towards the dungeon.
Meeting the cultist barrier, the soldiers stopped to set up a camp, but they kept arriving one after another, and the difference in power was ridiculous.

“It hasn’t even been half a month… This isn’t what you said.”

“L-, Like I said, this isn’t my fault. To begin with, isn’t this strange!? Why were they able to mobilise soldiers so quickly!?”

Leonora exclaimed with vigour and anger, but it felt like she was just trying to direct the blame away from herself.
Well, I had her stay in the dungeon out of worry, so I have no intention of blaming her though.
Like she said, it certainly is too early, no matter how you look at it.

“No, wait. Can you make the image of the soldiers bigger?”

Leonora asked me this, as though having noticed something.
I gave a nod, before moving the crow closer to the formations.
Leonora stared hard at the soldiers reflected on the mirror, but finally, she gave a nod, having seemingly a.s.sented to something.

“I see. I understand the trick now. The ones marching right now are all soldiers from the Kingdom of Fortera.”

The ‘Kingdom of Fortera’ is, if I remember correctly, the country that this place belongs to.
All of them are soldiers of the Kingdom? Wasn’t the Order of Sacred Light a coalition force?
Or could it be that these guys are something other than the Order of Sacred Light?

“They’re probably the vanguard. The allied forces will take time to a.s.semble, so they probably intend to have the soldiers that can immediately mobilise do the scouting and planning first. Given Fortera’s location, they’d get here quickly after all.”

I see. I don’t know if it’s something that Fortera wished for itself, or if it was pushed into it, but for the role of vanguard, it’s natural that it’s Fortera.
According to Leonora, the location of the Kingdom is adjacent to the Demon Race Territory, so in a place like that, it wouldn’t be strange to have a standing army to a certain extent.

“In that case, they won’t attack us immediately, right?”

“If they’re devoted enough to play their role, that is.”

Leonora spoke hesitantly.
As though asking for the true meaning behind her words, I gazed at the beautiful face of the girl with the flowing silver hair. …She averted her eyes.

“From Fortera’s point of view, this is something they should like to tidy up before the main force of the Order gets here. As long as this is the Kingdom’s territory, then by all rights, this is a problem that should be dealt with by the Kingdom itself. Although the Evil G.o.d may be the enemy of all of the human race, if a problem within their country is dealt with by the Church or the Order, they will come to owe them a favour.”

I see. If they owe them a favour, then in later negotiations they’ll be at a disadvantage, so it’s natural that they;d want to avoid that.

“What’s more, looking at the scene from earlier, its clear to anyone that they appear to have enough power to deal with it even without waiting for the main force. Would it not be difficult for them to sit still for months without doing anything?”

“Certainly.”

I don’t know exactly how many soldiers Fortera has, but they should have thousands even by a conservative estimate, and if I’m unlucky, they might even have over ten thousand.
And on the other hand, the cultists have stopped with the construction and taken up positions, but they only have a few hundred… There’s nothing to even discuss.
On top of that, if this is the standing army of the Kingdom’s military, then they’re all professional soldiers, but the fighters among the cultists number only a few dozen at best, while the rest are normal people.
No matter how hard the merry Sect Founder tries, it’s impossible for him to overturn this difference in war potential; he’s truly a drop in the bucket.

There’s no way to shake the military superiority of the Kingdom after all, and even I think it would be completely meaningless to wait for the Order.
On the contrary, if they waited in this situation, wouldn’t they be liable to be slandered as cowards?

“There’s a good chance that they will attack once their camp is complete. What will you do?”

‘What will I do’? That’s what I want to know.
I didn’t think they’d come so quickly, so I haven’t thought of anything.
I’m a normal person who likes to put off the unpleasant. (When it comes to food alone, I’ll save the best for last though.)
I was told that there would be a few months until this happened, so I thought it would be fine if I thought about this stuff next month.

I guess there are about 3 rough choices that I can make.

(1) Fight: For ye fools who hath roused me from my repose, I award ye with death! (fight to the bitter end)
(2) Surrender: P-, Please just spare me my life! (naked dogeza)
(3) Escape: Cya, Totssan! (making a break for it)

For now, let’s think in a direction where I won’t be doing (2).
I have no intention of doing a naked dogeza after all, and even if I did, what lies after would probably just be a tragic fate.
(3) is looking ridiculously attractive, but the problem is where I should run to.
It seems that I’ve made an enemy of the entire human race, so I guess the only place I could escape to is the Demon Race Territory.
I wonder if I can’t use Leonora’s connections to give me asylum.
I looked towards my only ray of hope, Leonora, but it seems that she interpreted my glance as asking for her opinion, because she continued speaking.

“It does certainly seem that with the difference in numbers, you’ll lose in a head-on confrontation, huh. Were it me, I think that using the geography of the dungeon to fight a siege battle would be effective, though.”

Ah. Seems like it’s no good. She’s completely in the mood to fight.
When she asked “What will you do?”, I guess she meant “How are you going to fight?”.
Speaking of which, although she was better than the Hero(lol) Party, Leonora was actually quite a musclehead too.
I’m thankful just that she’s staying by my side in a situation like this, but if I asked her to give me refuge in the Demon Race Territory, it feels like she’d abandon me in scorn.
If I can’t hide in the Demon Race Territory, then (3) is impossible as well… Is there only (1)?
But feeling pain, and being killed, and while I’m at it, killing someone as long as I’m in no danger, are things I’d like to avoid though.

No, thinking about it again, defeating the main force of the Kingdom or the Order isn’t my goal, so I guess there isn’t a reason to fight them head-on?
Now that it’s come to this, the best result for me would be to have them think of me as powerful and withdraw their troops, as well as holding back on making a move against me in the future.
Even if I use brute force to drive away the Kingdom’s forces today, if I continue to get attacked in the future, there won’t be any point.
I’ll put on a flashy performance and make our side look stronger than it is, and make them think that it’s impossible to fight me… This is the best way.

…It’s nothing but a bluff though.

If the idea that I’m impossible to fight against begins to spread, then peace negotiations should be possible.
Negotiations are impossible for me, so I plan on pushing this onto somebody else though.

Fortunately, I have an idea of something flashy enough. When I told Leonora about what I thinking, she immediately went to prepare.
Honestly speaking, I didn’t think Leonora would be very happy about it, but she was surprisingly willing to help. Although she was speaking like that before, even she should understand that frontal attacks are no good. If it’s just the Kingdom’s army in front of us then it might be another matter, but if the Order of the Sacred Light comes along later, we’ll be crushed by their numbers. The only chance at overturning this situation is right now.

Now then, let’s begin my one in a lifetime gamble.

“…There was a period when I thought like that too.” is a Baki reference lol
The whole scene is something like,
” ‘Boxing is an incomplete martial art because it lacks kicks…’ huh? There was a period when I thought like that too.”

Note: Lupin (of Lupin Third) often refers to Zenigata as Tottsan, a form of address that is usually translated as “Old Man” or “Pops”