Chapter 82
TLC: Lilies
unedited
After giving himself a vote of self-encouragement, Qi Jing released the mouse and slowly turned his right hand over.
When he lowered his head to look, his palm was still covered in a layer of sweat.
And his fingers still couldn’t stop shaking…
“Hu…” After a moment, he exhaled slowly and sprawled all over the desk as if completely drained out of energy, muttering, “It’s done…”
No matter how one looked at it, it was in the end his first time voice acting before the audience reaching five digits, so it was impossible for him to not get nervous.
It’s just, when he got into character and immersed himself in a scene, he was entirely focused on acting and didn’t have any mind to spare for stress or fear. But once he returned to reality, the physiological reaction caused by the stress appeared immediately.
It was a cla.s.sic of the “Qi Jing reaction”.
He was the same during the TV shootings—every time when he was before the camera, he would look seasoned and full of confidence. The program directors would often praise him for being photogenic and for his great adaptability.
But the moment the shooting ended, he would always rush to the cameraman’s side first with his heart full of worries, and re-watch the recording of himself, even grabbing everyone around to ask them if he stuttered, if his expression looked unnatural and so on. There would be absolutely no issue with the shot itself, but he would always feel like something went wrong, and in fact, he would actually feel rea.s.sured if his colleagues were fussy and nitpicky—the director of the news channel always made it into a joke to tell the newbie reporters in their crew.
Qi Jing opened and closed his fist a few times to steady his hand a little while his eyes were glued to the screen.
The waiting time after the end of performance would always feel like forever, just like when student finished the exam and waited for the teacher to grade it, too anxious to even breath, each second a never-ending torture.
In the past, when the news program he made his first appearance in aired, he also waited for the audience’s feedback, feeling just like at that moment. As a person involved in the making, he was unable to judge whether his performance was good or bad and could only depend on the outsiders to make the judgement.
There was a short “ding” sound.
It was a notification sound of the score window popping out.
Even though he clearly had been looking forward to that moment, when it was finally the time, Qi Jing subconsciously closed his eyes, momentarily unable to find the courage to face it.
He knew that this window would probably disappear after around five seconds.
He struggled like that for three seconds, but at the fourth second, he finally couldn’t bear it and hardened his heart, opening his eyes just a tiny little bit—
【Voice Quality】：3.5，3.5，3.0，average score 3.33
【Enunciation】：4.5，4.0，4.0，average score 4.17
【Foundation Points】：4.0，4.0，3.5，average score 3.83
【Charisma】：4.5，4.5，3.5，average score 4.17
Judging panel’s evaluation: 3.33+4.17+3.83+4.17 = 15.5 points
Additional audience vote points: 70.8% voting ratio = 0.708 points
Overall score: 15.5+0.708 = 16.208 points
“Eh…” Qi Jing was stunned, his barely opened eyes were now wide open in shock, presenting a textbook dumbstruck expression.
Unfortunately enough though, the window quickly disappeared from his screen—five seconds had pa.s.sed.
“Wait wait wait!” Qi Jing cried out anxiously, stretching his hand out and fumbled around with the screen as if to grab the vanished window back, grab it out and pull it in front of his eyes and take a good look at it again.
Unfortunately the window would not reappear.
He wailed, upset and full of regret that he didn’t screenshot it while he still had a chance.
But the commotion in the public chat could temporarily replace a screenshot as an indirect proof of those numbers’ authenticity.
Audience 1: HOOOOWL~ His score has surpa.s.sed the first place?? Although the difference isn’t great, but… IT’S HIGHER??
Audience 2: Answering the commenter above, it’s indeed higher! As a small Return Date fan who could just keep watching as everyone hated on him, I can tell that seeing the whole process, my feelings were really complicated, but at this moment, I can only feel one thing, and that is—I! AM! SO! HYPED! ~(≧▽≦)/~
Audience 3: … Oooh, the first contestant for this audition to get a score higher than 16 points… Is it because he’s No.16?【Pftt】
Audience 4: Holy c.r.a.p!! I just witnessed Teacher Pu’s 4.5!! Σ(⊙▽⊙
Audience 5: Holy c.r.a.p!! Teacher Pu actually gave out her highest mark for one of the criteria!! That’s so awesome!!【To be fair, I also feel that the performance just now was incredible】
Audience 6: (/≧▽≦/) I love that No.16 so much!! Can I confess my love?? No matter if it’s the voice, the bearing or the acting, this contestant excels in all of those aspects. I might be a reader of the original novel who didn’t really like Emperor Chang, hah… But your performance made me kinda like him that tiny little bit. And I even started shipping Emperor Chang and Marquess Shunyang; that younger top! What to do??
…
By the time Qi Jing finally took it all in, he already pressed his fingers on his lips to prevent them from curling up too much, to not get too over himself.
Yet he was so happy.
He was truly, genuinely happy.
He could proudly say that he didn’t urge his fans to vote, didn’t use weibo, forum, QQ groups or any public platform to ask for support, didn’t try to lick the boots of the judges, much less, get a stand-in as his haters claimed—no matter if his score was high or low, it was all him.
He was so overjoyed that even the completely shameless statements of the haters that soon followed could not put him down but rather only served as entertainment for him.
Audience 1: ╮(╯＿╰)╭ It has be that he pulled many of his fans into cheering for him? He really is something, even scaring the judges to the point where they were forced to give him a high score under the pressure…
Audience 2: I don’t get it, in what aspect he deserves such a high score… That performance completely lacked an emperor-like demeanor!! How can such an anxious and terribly silly acting be suitable for playing an emperor?? Why is his score higher than our Bangbang’s, I don’t get it!!
Audience: ╮(╯▽╰)╭ Just give up, just which installment of ⟪Order to End the Heavens⟫ compet.i.tion doesn’t discriminate our Bangbang, we all already saw through it.
Audience:（╯‵□′）╯︵┴─┴ A perfectly fine story with a normal target audience, yet it was still made into a gaybait, even going in the direction of two brothers s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g each other, so sickening!! Bangbang, don’t mind him, let’s go home!!
Audience 5: I already said that Didn’t ask for my return date found a stand-in and you didn’t believe me, but just look at it now. That fake’s acting is different from the guy himself, he scored so high? How shoddy was the voice acting of that guy in his audio dramas played in are, you’ll see if you go and listen to them—it’s completely different from the acting here! You were all fooled!
Audience 6: Don’t ask for my return date wasn’t this good previously, but after he starred with our sweet Bronze Sparrow in ⟪Trap⟫ and the two of them acted together, his acting skills improved by leaps and bounds! It has to be thanks to Sparrow’s hard work!! °.°(((p(≧□≦)q)))°.°
…
“Hmm, oh, I see, so everything is thanks to Great G.o.d’s hard work.” Qi Jing piqued his brow, enlightened by this comment, then scoffed. He didn’t have any energy left to refute every single one of those comments one by one.
Compared to the pure outburst of hate of Uncle Bang’s fans, the Bronze Sparrow Terrace fans were more proficient at changing tune in a matter of seconds.
Before the compet.i.tion, they were saying that he was a small n.o.body with no fans, but after the compet.i.tion, his fans were already so numerous, they could pressure the judges, forcing them to give him a higher score.
Before the compet.i.tion, they would say he found a stand-in to provide a voice, and after the compet.i.tion he suddenly also relied on other people with his acting skills.
Before the compet.i.tion, Bronze Sparrow Terrace was his rival, yet after compet.i.tion he suddenly became Qi Jing’s careful instructor, a teacher who single-handedly taught and nurtured him?
“There is a person who acted with me in ⟪Trap⟫, then caused me to improve slowly,” Qi Jing said with an impa.s.sive sneer, “But, that person isn’t your great G.o.d.”
He’s n.o.body’s great G.o.d.He’s just a man who’s used to voice acting silently in the background.
No matter how obscure of a production team it was, how insignificant of a character, as long as there was a need for it, he would always provide the best quality recordings; a man who would always be there to help… He, who had stood in for the great G.o.d and spent hours on voice acting with him, but could not even be mentioned in the end, yet, he never said a word of complaint—that man.
Thinking this, Qi Jing couldn’t sit still anymore.
He removed equipment, temporarily putting it aside, and left the noisy place of drama and tea to go and look for that person.
“Shen…”
The overwhelming joy he felt dissipated completely the moment he pulled the door handle of the study’s room. Because once he pulled it, it made a clacking sound, but no matter how he pulled it, the door handle wouldn’t move.
Qi Jing’s smile disappeared from his face and he blinked in confusion. When he tried once again, he was still unable to open the door.
The door was locked.
“Shen Yan?” He called, a bit worried.
For Qi Jing, it was his first time to see Shen Yan lock himself in a room since they started living together. Wherever Shen Yan was, the door would be always open for him, rarely even closing it, not to mention locking it, so Qi Jing gradually became used to that kind of intimacy, with nothing going between them—but today, this door suddenly got locked.
“Shen Yan?” When he didn’t receive an answer after he called for the first time, he called one more time, even knocking twice on the door anxiously.
Clack.
At that moment, the door finally got unlocked from the inside, then opened slowly. Qi Jing instinctively stretched his hand out, but when it plunged into the pitch darkness, he finally realised that the room was completely dark. The only source of light were the scarce street lights from outside the window, enshrouding the person who opened the door in a layer of grey. It separated him from the pitch black darkness, letting Qi Jing’s hand reach him timely.
“What’s wrong?” Maybe it was due to his anxiousness, but Qi Jing reached for the other man’s arm and slowly made his way up to feel his face. Aside from a bit low temperature, there was nothing out of the ordinary about him.
“It’s nothing, I just felt averse to the light…” He heard Shen Yan’s voice, sounding as if he intended to chuckle lightly, but was unable to. When Qi Jing was taken aback when he heard him say that “averse to the light”. He quickly scanned the room and realised that it wasn’t only the light that was turned off, the computer screen was also black.
But the power light of the computer was still flickering, indicating that it was still running and only the screen had been turned off.
“Just now, you…”
“I was listening,” Shen Yan knew what he was asking about and answered in a hurry, afraid of letting him misunderstand, “I did listen… It’s just I didn’t turn the screen on and only listened to it through my headphones, that’s it.”
“That’s what I’m asking about.” Qi Jing clutched at his sleeve, his brows deeply furrowed.
His biggest concern wasn’t whether Shen Yan listened, but the reason why he would feel averse to any source of light.
When Shen Yan took part in his first audition before, he had also turned all the lights in the room off, turned his back to the screen, acting alone to his own shadow. Qi Jing worked hard for him to slowly start to get used to the light, leading him step after step towards the centre of the stage. But now, his action of turning off the screen was like suddenly taking ten steps back, he returned back to the pitch black behind the scene, once again hiding himself away.
He relapsed—
This made Qi Jing even more uneasy than if he just didn’t move forward.
“Is there something you want to tell me?” Qi Jing tried to patiently guide him into speaking, but Shen Yan seemingly wanted to evade answering what Qi Jing was really asking about. He suddenly moved closer, wrapping his arms tightly around Qi Jing before Qi Jing could even react, his face rubbing against his cheeks before he nested it in his hair.
Hair brushed against hair, and two of their body warmths mixed together.
This warm feeling managed to bribe Qi Jing over and for the time being, he couldn’t bear to break such an atmosphere with his words, he didn’t dare to continue inquiring. He had no immunity against this show of weakness from Shen Yan.
“Just now, you performed amazingly, it was brilliant.” Shen Yan muttered in a low voice by his ear, “I’m… Really happy for you from the bottom of my heart.”
“You don’t look happy at all.” Qi Jing laughed bitterly.
Although his heart was still relishing in this warmth, his mind was still sober, so he would say the words that needed to be said.
Shen Yan couldn’t see his own expression, but he could—that sort of expression couldn’t possibly be described as “happy”. Tired, but also dejected and at a loss, like a person who had lost something but couldn’t find it even after looking for it for the longest time—it was that kind of expression.
Shen Yan probably also realised it, as he heaved a low sigh, “I’m sorry… I’m really happy for you, even though right now I can’t properly express such feelings…”
He muttered as he hugged him tighter.
Qi Jing noticed his struggle and instinctively stroked his hair gently, wanting to relieve that pain, the source of which he didn’t know.
“Just now, you played really well,” Shen Yan repeated himself, then said in a hoa.r.s.e voice, “And because it was so good, so life-like, after I heard it, I… Suddenly I didn’t know how I should reply to you. That’s why my heart is in such a mess right now.”
Shen Yan’s words sounded a bit all over the place, but upon closer consideration, it could be easily understood what he was saying.
Qi Jing froze the moment he understood his meaning. “You mean that… You don’t know how you should answer my last line?”
“Marquess Shunyang is only a b.a.s.t.a.r.d sp.a.w.ned outside by the previous emperor, it is Us who were t.i.tled the only true crown prince by the previous emperor”… This line?
Those lines were indeed linked to the “Marquess Shunyang” character that Shen Yan chose.
Yet, Shen Yan didn’t need to reply.
Because that line was said to the main character “Qin Tuo”…
Was it because Shen Yan couldn’t figure out the feeling for the voice acting that he became so distraught?
Somehow, Qi Jing felt that that wasn’t the only reason.
But since that was what Shen Yan himself said, he could only comfort him about that.
“That line wasn’t said to ‘Marquess Shunyang’, it was only stating a fact, so you don’t need to worry about not being able to reply.”
As far as he remembered, there was no such line between those two characters, so even if in the upcoming audition, there was a scene between “Emperor Chang” and “Marquess Shunyang”, Shen Yan didn’t need to consider how to reply to it.
But Shen Yang shook his head and said in a hoa.r.s.e voice, “No, I just thought that… If there was a person who would say something like that to me, how would I reply.”
He didn’t know how to reply.
Especially since it was in Qi Jing’s voice, all of that pressure that oppressive performance brought made him instantly feel cold all over the moment he heard it.
He didn’t dare to consider it.
He didn’t dare to consider the possibility of it happening in reality.
“I’m sorry, Qi Jing,” Suddenly, feeling a little upset, Shen Yan pulled away from Qi Jing, putting a distance between them taking two steps back. He released his hold on Qi Jing’s shoulders and covered eyes with his hands as he slowly took a deep breath, “… Let me be alone in silence for a moment. For now, just leave me be, okay?”
T/N:
Lucilla: *feeling very not okay, very very not okay, very in need of some comforting fluff*