She looked at Maximus and back to me and nodded at the phone. "Jimmy said we have no choice. It"s either this or nothing at all."
"She"s right, Dex," Jimmy said in my ear. "This is your option. You either bring Mr. Jacobs on board as your, I don"t know, let"s call him a production manager, or you don"t have Experiment in Terror anymore. One choice gives you security and a sponsorship. The other choice gives you nothing. Or you can keep being a stubborn a.s.s and screw your partner out of something good just because you and your ex-buddy have some old beef to deal with. What do you say?"
I say f.u.c.k you. I say no way. I say I"d rather cut off my b.a.l.l.s and I love my f.u.c.king b.a.l.l.s. But I looked at Perry, and even though I knew how much it would bother her to do this with Maximus, I also knew she needed hope in her future. I saw how desperate she was for that, how badly she needed something solid in her life right now, something more than just me. She wanted to have something be a constant when everything with her family and her mental health and her income was up in the air. She wanted something she could count on and I didn"t even have to hear her thoughts to know that.
I took the phone away from my ear and looked at her. "So what do you want to do? You know what I want to do."
She frowned. "Quit? Just like that?"
"Always a quitter," Maximus murmured under his breath.
I spun around and slammed my fist into his chest, sending him stumbling off the curb while Perry cried out in surprise. I hadn"t meant to do that, the dude was usually as solid as a tree, but then I remembered the new dynamic. I felt almost bad, but that didn"t stop me from spewing, "What the h.e.l.l did you mean by that?"
Maximus rubbed at his chest, his chin dipping, eyes becoming green slits. I rarely saw him mad and it was kind of scary, I had to admit.
"I mean," he said carefully, "just because I"m involved, your first reaction is to quit. That"s how much you can"t handle being around me. I didn"t think I got to you that badly, Dex, really."
I knew what the a.s.swipe was doing and d.a.m.n it was working. My ego never went down without a fight.
"Hey, I can handle being around you, I just prefer not to work with douchenozzles, that"s all. You"re only going to get in the way. You don"t know what the h.e.l.l you"re doing."
He stepped back on the curb, towering over me. "Oh, and you do? I can see how well you"ve done so far."
"Dex? Dex?" Jimmy"s tinny voice came through the phone in my hand. I forgot he was still there.
I lifted it to my ear. "Yes, Jimmy, sorry, working out the kinks here."
"I can hear that. If you want a minute to discuss it with Perry, I can wait. I"d try and leave your feelings toward Maximus out of it."
"Fine. I"ll call you back in a few," I told him and hung up. I felt like tossing the phone as far as I could, but I reigned in Hulk Dex and tried to think about Perry.
I exhaled sharply and cracked my head back and forth before turning to her and said, "So what do you want to do? We"ve got a few minutes to decide."
"Well obviously you just want to say no and shut this whole thing down," she said, sounding annoyed.
"Look, just a few minutes ago you were horrified at the idea of bringing him on board."
She pulled at her hair hard, looking frustrated. "Well yeah, I am. The three of us can"t even have a conversation without a fight breaking out."
"That wasn"t a fight," Maximus piped up c.o.c.kily.
She glared at him. "You, shut up." She then looked at me. "I think it"s a bad idea, but I think right now, at this very moment in time, the other option is even worse."
I took a step toward her, reaching for her hand, and lowered my voice as I gazed at her. "Baby, I told you I would take care of you."
She smiled and laced her fingers into mine, which was doubly nice considering who we were in front of. I could feel him frowning at us behind me. "I know you can take care of me. But I have to try and take care of myself too. Let"s just give this a shot. If it doesn"t work, then we can still quit and do our own thing. But if it does work, this could change a lot of things for us. I would...I would just feel a lot better knowing I had a solid job to rely on."
My heart felt like it had been stabbed with a very fine needle and I fought hard to keep it showing on my face. I hated, hated, hated that I wasn"t enough for her at the moment. It was stupid and selfish and immature to think I should be her world and her only world, the only thing she needed, but d.a.m.n. I needed that from her like I never needed anything before.
I smiled at her, hiding everything, and said, "Fair enough. If that"s what you want, then that"s what we"ll do." I really, really hoped I wouldn"t start resenting that.
I turned around and looked at Maximus. He was eyeing our hand-holding with puzzlement, and I couldn"t wait to rub this s.h.i.t in his face but now wasn"t the time. "Fine. Perry says yes. I guess that means I"ll just have to suck it up and deal with your ginger-a.s.s ruining everything."
He looked my way, observing me like only he knew how to do, like he was on the inside of a joke I knew nothing about. "This is really going to tear you up inside, isn"t it?"
I forced myself to shrug nonchalantly. "Well, I got through college with you following me around like a lost pooch, so I suppose I can get through this too."
He raised a brow but didn"t say anything. I knew what he was going to say too, that I didn"t actually get through college, that Abby started showing up and ruining everything, that he stopped being my friend, that I was locked away and everything was taken from me. But I suppose even he knew when to keep his mouth shut.
"You better call Jimmy," he said, turning his attention to the market and the people going to and fro with bags of specialty olive oil and dried peppers.
And ginger-douche bossing me around had begun. I exchanged a tepid glance with Perry then dialed Jimmy"s number.
"Well," he answered. "I don"t have all day."
I took in a deep breath, looking deep into Perry"s baby blues. She was hopeful. That was all I needed. "We"ll do it. I suppose we don"t get to negotiate this a bit further."
"Nope. From now on, you"re the cameraman and editor, same as ever. Perry is the host. Other than that, Maximus Jacobs is in charge of absolutely everything."
"f.u.c.king fantastic."
"Thought you"d agree," he said. "Now the best part of this whole arrangement is that I don"t have to deal with you and you don"t have to deal with me. Everything will be dealt with through him."
"Where did we go wrong, Jimmy? Don"t the good times count for anything?" I pleaded mockingly.
"Things went wrong the day I met you. Take care, Dex. Watch out for Perry. And listen to the redhead."
He hung up and I stared at the phone dejectedly before shoving it in my cargo jacket. Well, that was that.
I looked at Maximus, who was grinning to himself and pretending to not pay attention.
"I feel like I just signed a deal with the devil," I said.
He grinned wider and eyed me briefly. "Oh, Dex, didn"t you know? I"m one of the good guys."
CHAPTER SIX.
I saw my mother again. Well, I didn"t see her, but I could feel her and that was more than enough.
I woke up in the middle of the night, 3AM, right on the f.u.c.king dot, and had to p.i.s.s like a racehorse. Perry was snoozing beside me, beautiful and peaceful in the dim, and I was careful not to wake her.
I didn"t feel that anything was wrong at first, in fact I didn"t even turn on the light, keeping the door open and using the hazy glow from the hallway to illuminate the bathroom. It wasn"t until I was p.i.s.sing away, when I heard the door slowly shut behind me. The bathroom grew very cold, very suddenly, and I knew that it wasn"t caused by some random breeze.
I shook the last drops off my d.i.c.k and was about to get out of there when the door clicked fully shut. I tried to swallow my panic and fumbled for the k.n.o.b. When I found it, it wouldn"t open. It was locked. I was trapped. Oh my s.h.i.t.
I put my hands along the wall, feeling for the light switch, debating how long I had before I started screaming for Perry to come help me, when I felt it. Hot breath on my neck. The presence behind me was nearly indescribable, both familiar and malevolent. I knew it had come from the mirror.
Then the light turned on by itself and I knew I could turn around and see cold, dead eyes staring right at me. I could come face to face with the oldest of my demons. But I didn"t. It took all my courage to keep staring at the door, to put my hand back on the doork.n.o.b and force it to turn with all my might.
And turn it did, like it hadn"t been locked at all. I bolted out of the bathroom, not daring to look behind me, not even checking to see if she was following me to the bedroom or not. G.o.d, I hoped not. I had no idea what would happen if Perry got involved.
I closed the bedroom door behind me and locked it, as if that would do any good. The bathroom light spilled in from underneath the door frame, a reminder of what was out there.
I crawled into bed, spooning Perry and pulling the covers over my head. I didn"t sleep until the dawn broke through the clearing sky.
"You look tired," Perry said to me as the cab rattled along the I-5.
I gave her a dry look and squeezed her close to me. "Thanks. How would you like it if I said you looked tired?"
"Do I?"
I shook my head and kissed her forehead. "No, you look beautiful as always and supremely a.s.stastic."
The cab driver eyed me in the mirror and I merely smiled at him. We were heading toward the airport, Maximus having wasted no time in getting us on our next shoot. I barely had time to convince Rebecca to look after Fat Rabbit again.
Our destination: New Orleans. To be honest, I was pretty excited since I"d never been to NOLA before, or Louisiana. Unfortunately, Maximus was from the state, and his knowledge of the land would ensure that neither Perry nor I would have much say in anything.
Maximus had told us that NOLA was just swimming in haunted houses and estates, which was common knowledge, I mean even I knew that. But he said that there was one old mansion that had been flooded during Hurricane Katrina. Ever since then, the paranormal activity levels had been off the chart. A few ghost hunters had already been there and weren"t able to walk away with much evidence aside from the usual orbs and cold spots, but he figured with our "abilities" we would have a much better chance of capturing something. He said he had a contact in NOLA that would help us find something worth filming, even if that house fell through. Which, in other words, meant the three of us were staying in the Big Easy for as long as it took to come back with a show.
"I thought I heard you get up last night," Perry said, bringing me back to the moment. "But when I looked at the time on my phone, it was like 4AM and you still weren"t back in bed. What were you doing?"
I froze-my blood, my veins, everything was ice.
"What?" I asked, barely able to p.r.o.nounce the words. "What...you said I didn"t come to bed until 4AM?"
"Until at least 4AM. That"s when I fell back asleep," she said.
I rubbed at my face, squeezing my chin. The f.u.c.k? I got up at 3AM, and I wasn"t in the bathroom for more than two minutes...was I?
"What were you doing?" she continued.
"I, uh, couldn"t sleep. I was watching TV with Fatty Rab. Infomercials."
She raised her head and studied me. The thing was, I knew I sounded like someone in a horror movie, when there"s obviously something very wrong going on and the person stupidly says "I"m fine" when they clearly aren"t. I knew that"s what was happening here but I couldn"t help it. "Baby," I said to her, "I"m fine. Just couldn"t sleep. I get insomnia sometimes. Get used to it. Just a roommate quirk, like how you put empty cartons of milk back in the fridge."
It"s funny how I was able to tell her about the time I saw my mother in the motel in Snowcrest. But now, to tell her again, would make something out of something that I desperately wanted to go away. My mother wanted attention, she always did. I wouldn"t give her that. She would be my secret for as long as I could keep it.
I suppose it didn"t matter, because I could tell that Perry didn"t believe me. I could see the doubt in her eyes, but I could also see the respect she had, the respect she"d followed from the day she first met me. Perry had already sussed out so many of my terrible secrets from the very beginning, if not knowing exactly what they were, knowing that something was wrong. She was devastatingly perceptive.
"All right," she said, settling back in the seat and ignoring the dig about the milk cartons. Seriously though, that was annoying.
We got to the airport a little bit early, hoping to beat Maximus so we could get our seats next to each other and away from him, but the flame-haired b.a.s.t.a.r.d was already there and waiting at the checkout for us, carry-on in hand.
"About time you two showed up, I was getting worried," he said in all seriousness.
"It"s like ninety minutes before our flight," I protested.
He shrugged and I felt like kicking him in the knees. This was going to be a h.e.l.l of a long trip.
He handed us our tickets. "No worries."
I glanced at the ticket. I had an aisle seat. I tore Perry"s out of her hands and peered at it. Window.
"You a.s.s," I said. "Where are you sitting?"
He smiled. "I took one for the team. Middle seat. Between you guys."
Right. If he really took one for the team he would jump out of the airplane.
"How considerate," Perry said, her eyes full of disdain. She glanced at me and sighed. "Okay, well let"s get through security then so we don"t have to worry."
I"ve been in a lot of awkward moments in my life, and most of the time, I actually enjoy them. I don"t know if it means I"m a sociopath or what, but I just don"t feel awkward or self-conscious when I know I should. But lately, I"d been feeling that tinge of heavy air, things unsaid, especially around Perry. Being with Maximus and her was no exception. With him there, I felt like a spotlight was being shined on every single move, every shot I did at the bar pre-flight (whatever, there"s no judgement in alcohol after 11AM), or magazine I rifled through at the gift shop, every glance Perry and I shared. Suddenly everything was everyone"s business and I didn"t even know what the G.o.dd.a.m.n business was.
The flight was much, much worse. I had strategically planned to get to the seats before Maximus, so that at least I could get the middle and sit beside Perry, but the c.o.c.kblocker was quicker and pushed past us when it was time to board. Apparently he was a "gold club member" and we weren"t. By the time we got to our seats, he was already in his, looking up at us smugly.
"Do you mind at least moving so I can get to my seat?" Perry asked after shoving her carry-on in the overhead compartment.
"You can squeeze through," he said, wagging his brows and insinuating that her a.s.s was going to be pressed against his freckled knees.
"Ugh," she said in frustration, and squeezed past him. I kept my eyes on him, daring him to try anything, just try. I didn"t care if it got me kicked off the plane; I would make a scene.
To his credit he stared right back at me, even moving back in the seat to let her go through.
"Now you," I said to him, tapping the aisle seat, "you sit here and let me sit next to Perry."
He shook his head in amus.e.m.e.nt. "This is my seat."
"Yeah, yeah, took one for the team. But I would like the middle seat, so get out." I motioned for him to get out quick.
"Dex, just sit down," he said, nodding at the rest of the plane. "People here need to get to their seats, buddy."
It was true, I was preventing a whole line of people from moving down the aisle, and h.e.l.l hath no fury like people once they are on an airplane. It"s like the minute everyone"s in this giant Tylenol-shaped contraption, their patience threshold changes dramatically. The baby boomer woman closest to me was turning red, a vein popping out on her harried face.
"Fine, you leave me no choice," I said to no one in particular. I moved into the aisle seat and kept going. I plunked myself down right on the giant ginger"s lap.
"The h.e.l.l are you doing?" he yelled, trying to get me off of him, but I just pressed myself down into him harder, one leg wedged against the seat in front of me, the other pushing off the aisle seat arm rest.
The pa.s.sengers in the aisle shot us uncomfortable looks, as if Maximus and I were involved in some lazy, clothed version of the mile high club.
"Dex, get the h.e.l.l off me," Maximus grunted in my ear.