"The King of c.o.c.kroachland is coming against us."
"All right," he said, "let him come."
The King of c.o.c.kroachland crossed the border, and sent the advance-guard to find Ivan"s army. They looked and looked for it, and could not find it. They thought that they might wait for it to show up.
But they heard nothing about it,--there was no army to fight.
The King of c.o.c.kroachland sent out his men to take possession of the villages. The soldiers came to one village,--and there the fools jumped out to look at the soldiers and to marvel at them. The soldiers began to take away the grain and the cattle: the fools gave it all up, and did not resist. The soldiers went to the next village, and the same happened. The soldiers walked for a day or two, and everywhere the same happened. They gave up all they had, and n.o.body resisted, and they invited the soldiers to come and live with them:
"If you, dear people," they said, "have not enough to live on in your country, come and settle among us."
The soldiers walked and walked, but no army was to be found; everywhere people were living, and feeding themselves and other people, and they did not resist, but invited them to come and live with them.
The soldiers felt bad, and they came back to the King of c.o.c.kroachland.
"We cannot fight here," they said, "so take us to some other place: war would be a good thing, but this is as though we were to cut soup. We cannot fight here."
The King of c.o.c.kroachland grew wroth, and commanded his soldiers to march through the whole kingdom, and destroy villages and houses, and burn the grain and kill the cattle.
"If you do not obey my command," he said, "I shall have you all executed."
The soldiers became frightened, and began to carry out the king"s command. They started to burn the houses and the grain, and to kill the cattle. And still the fools did not resist, but only wept. The old men wept, and the old women wept, and the children wept.
"Why do you offend us? Why do you destroy the property? If you need it, take it along!"
The soldiers felt ashamed. They did not go any farther, and the whole army ran away.
XII.
The old devil went away,--he could not get at Ivan by means of the soldiers. The old devil changed into a clean-looking gentleman, and went to live in Ivan"s kingdom: he wished to get at him by means of money, as he had done with Taras the Paunch.
"I want to do you good," he said, "and to teach you what is good and proper. I will build a house in your country, and will start an establishment."
"All right," he said, "stay here!"
The clean-looking gentleman stayed overnight, and the following morning he took a large bag of gold to the market-square, and a sheet of paper, and said:
"You are all of you living like pigs. I will teach you how to live.
Build me a house according to this plan! You work, and I will show you how, and will pay gold money to you."
And he showed them the gold. The fools were astounded: they had no such a thing as money, and only exchanged things among themselves, or paid with work. They marvelled at the gold and said:
"They are nice things."
And for these gold things they began to give him what they had and to work for him. The old devil rejoiced and thought:
"My affair is proceeding favourably. I will now ruin Ivan completely, as I have ruined Taras, and will buy him up, guts and all."
As soon as the fools had any gold, they gave it all away to their women for necklaces, and their girls wove it into their braids, and the children began to play in the streets with those pretty things. When all had enough of it, they refused to get any more. The clean-looking gentleman"s palace was not half done, and the grain and the cattle were not yet attended to for the year. And the gentleman demanded that they should go and work for him, and haul his grain, and drive his cattle; he promised them much gold for everything and for all work.
But no one came to work, and they brought nothing to him. Only now and then a boy or girl would run in to exchange an egg for a gold coin; otherwise n.o.body came, and he had nothing to eat. The clean-looking gentleman was starved, and he went to the village to buy something to eat: he went into one yard, and offered a gold coin for a chicken, but the woman would not take it.
"I have too many of them as it is," she said.
He went to a homeless woman, to buy a herring of her, and offered her a gold coin.
"I do not want it, dear man," she said. "I have no children, and so there is n.o.body to play with it; I myself have three of these for show."
He went to a peasant to buy bread of him, but the peasant, too, would not take the money.
"I do not want it," he said. "If you want bread, for Christ"s sake, wait, and I will have my wife cut you off a piece."
The devil just spit out and ran away from the peasant. Not only would he not take anything for Christ"s sake, but it was worse than cutting him even to hear that word.
And so he did not get any bread. Everywhere it was the same; no matter where the devil went, they gave him nothing for money, but said:
"Bring us something else, or come and work for it, or take it for Christ"s sake!"
But the devil had nothing but money. He did not like to work, and for Christ"s sake he could not take anything. The old devil grew angry.
"What else do you want, if I give you money? You can buy anything for money, or hire a labourer."
The fools paid no attention to him.
"No," they said, "we do not want it. We have no taxes and no wages to pay, so what do we want with the money?"
The old devil went to bed without eating supper.
This affair reached the ears of Ivan the Fool. They went to ask him:
"What shall we do? A clean-looking gentleman has appeared among us: he is fond of eating and drinking, and does not like to work, and does not beg for Christ"s sake, but only offers us gold pieces. So long as we did not have enough of them, we gave him everything, but now we do not give him any more. What shall we do with him? We are afraid that he will starve."
Ivan listened to what they had to say.
"All right," he said, "we shall have to feed him. Let him go from farm to farm as a shepherd!"
The old devil could not help himself, and he began to go from farm to farm. The turn came to Ivan"s farm. The old devil came to dinner, and the dumb girl was just fixing it. Those who were lazy used to deceive her. Without having worked they came to dinner earlier and ate up all the porridge. And so the dumb girl contrived to tell the good-for-nothing by their hands: if one had calluses, she seated him at the table, but if not, she gave him what was left of the dinner. The old devil climbed behind the table; but the dumb girl took hold of his hands, and there were no calluses; the hands were clean and smooth, and the nails long.
The dumb girl bawled, and pulled the devil out from behind the table.
Ivan"s wife said to him:
"Don"t take it amiss, clean gentleman! My sister-in-law will not let a man without calluses sit down at the table. Wait awhile! Let the people eat first, and then you will get what is left."
The old devil was insulted, because at the king"s house they would feed him with the swine. He said to Ivan:
"What a fool"s law you have in your country to let all men work with their hands! You have invented that in your stupidity. Do men work with their hands only? How do you suppose clever people work?"
But Ivan said: