"The aliens-that was what they were trying to tell us. Individuality is an illusion; we"re all part of a greater whole."
"Theoretically," said Kyle tentatively.
"No. No. In reality It"s true-all the theories we talked about yesterday are true. I know-know it for a fact. The messages, they were a kind of blueprint for a four-dimensional device that . . ."
"That what?"
Heather closed her eyes again. "That lets an individual plug into the human collective unconscious-into the actual, literal shared mind of humanity."
Kyle slid his lower lip behind his upper teeth, but said nothing for several seconds. Then: "How could you build such a thing?"
"I couldn"t of course-not personally But a friend in Mechanical Engineering helped."
"And it works?"
Heather nodded. "It works."
Kyle was quiet for a moment. "And you-you"ve what? Connected to the overmind?"
"More than that. I"ve sailed sailed it." it."
" "Sailed," " said Kyle, as though he couldn"t understand the word in this context.
Heather nodded again.
Kyle was quiet for another moment. Then: "This has been a difficult time for all of us," he said. "I hadn"t-I"m sorry honey-I hadn"t realized what a toll it had taken on you."
Heather smiled despite herself. Like father, like daughter. "You don"t believe me."
"I-well, I . . ."
Heather"s smile faded. She kicked herself for not thinking to bring home the videotape of the tesseract folding up. "I"ll show you. I"ll show you today. The equipment is in my office at the university."
"Who else knows about this?"
"No one but me and Becky."
Kyle still looked unconvinced.
"I know I should have told you before. I was going to; I really think I was going to last night. But-but it"s like nothing you can imagine. It"ll change everything, this technology. Personal privacy ceases to exist."
"What?"
"I can access anyone-find their memories, their personality, the archives of what they are. I . . ."
"Yes?"
She lowered her eyes. "I connected with your mind, leafed through your memories."
Kyle moved slightly away from her on the couch. "That"s-that"s not possible."
Heather closed her eyes again, fighting a wave of shame. "You buy hot dogs with grilled onions from a vendor on St. George."
Kyle"s eyes widened again.
"There"s a student in your summer AI cla.s.s named Ca.s.sie. You think she"s a babe. "Babe"-that"s the precise word you think. You"re betraying your age, you know-the term today is "nova," isn"t it? That"s what the young people say: "She"s a real nova." "
"You"ve been spying on me."
Heather shook her head. "Not spying-at least not from outside."
"But-"
"You think my thighs are corrugated-that"s another direct quote. If you"re any kind of gentleman, you"ve never said that that to anyone." to anyone."
Kyle"s jaw dropped.
"The technology works. You can see why I"ve kept it secret, at least for the time being, can"t you? Your PIN-anyone"s PIN; the combination to any lock; your pa.s.sword-all of it could be plucked from your mind, from anyone"s mind, with this technology. There are no secrets anymore."
"And you probed my mind without telling telling me? Without my permission?" me? Without my permission?"
Heather lowered her eyes. "I"m sorry."
"This is incredible. This is too much."
"It"s not all bad," said Heather. "I was able to prove that you hadn"t hurt Becky or Mary."
"Prove it?" Kyle"s voice was sharp now. "You didn"t trust me-didn"t believe me?" it?" Kyle"s voice was sharp now. "You didn"t trust me-didn"t believe me?"
"I am am sorry but . . . but they"re my daughters. I couldn"t choose between you and them. I had to sorry but . . . but they"re my daughters. I couldn"t choose between you and them. I had to know know-know for certain-before I could start putting my family back together." for certain-before I could start putting my family back together."
"Jesus Christ," said Kyle. "Jesus Christ."
"I am sorry," she said again.
"How could you keep this from me? How on earth could you keep this from me?"
Heather felt her own anger rising. She was about to snap back: How could you keep your s.e.xual fantasies from me?
Did you tell me about your hatred of my mother?
Did you let me know what you really felt about my not yet having made tenure? About my not contributing as much financially as you did?
Did you reveal your feelings about G.o.d to me?
How could you you keep so much secret from me, year after year, decade after decade, a quarter-century of deception? Minor ones, to be sure, but the c.u.mulative effect-like a wall between us, built up brick by brick, lie by lie, omission by omission. keep so much secret from me, year after year, decade after decade, a quarter-century of deception? Minor ones, to be sure, but the c.u.mulative effect-like a wall between us, built up brick by brick, lie by lie, omission by omission.
How could you you keep all that hidden? keep all that hidden?
Heather swallowed, regaining her composure. And then a small, humorless laugh escaped her now-dry throat. Everything she"d just thought-her own anger, her own restrained feelings-would soon be laid bare before him. It was inevitable; there was no way to avoid it-no way he could resist the temptation, a temptation he"d doubtless think was his right, fair turnabout, once he himself entered the construct.
She shrugged slightly "I am am sorry." sorry."
He shifted on the couch again, as if he were about to get up.
"But," she said, "don"t you see? Don"t you get it? It"s not just your mind, or my mind, that you could touch. It"s any any mind-including, perhaps, those that are no longer active." She reached over, took his hand, the fingers immobile. "Now, I haven"t tried this yet, but it may work. You might be able to touch mind-including, perhaps, those that are no longer active." She reached over, took his hand, the fingers immobile. "Now, I haven"t tried this yet, but it may work. You might be able to touch Mary"s Mary"s mind-the archive of it, the backed-up version." She squeezed the hand, shaking it slightly looking for a response. "Perhaps you mind-the archive of it, the backed-up version." She squeezed the hand, shaking it slightly looking for a response. "Perhaps you can can make your peace with her. In a very real sense, perhaps you can." make your peace with her. In a very real sense, perhaps you can."
Kyle"s eyebrows went up.
"I know it"s not over yet," said Heather. "But it may be. It may be soon. We may be able to put it all to rest-all the demons, all the bad times."
"And what happens after that?" asked Kyle. "What happens next?"
Heather opened her mouth to reply, but soon closed it, realizing she had not the slightest idea.
34.
As soon as they got to Heather"s office, the problem became obvious. Kyle was simply too big to get into the construct.
"d.a.m.n," said Heather. "I"ve been meaning to do something about that." She shrugged apologetically. "I"m afraid we"ll have to get a new one built."
"How long will that take?"
"A few days. I"ll call Paul and-"
"Paul? Who"s that?"
Heather paused. She could say that he was just this guy over in Mechanical Engineering, but- But there was was more. And there really was no point keeping it-or anything else-from Kyle anymore. more. And there really was no point keeping it-or anything else-from Kyle anymore.
"You"ve met him," said Heather tentatively. "You were both on the Gotlieb Centre committee."
"I don"t remember him."
"He remembers you."
Kyle said nothing, but Heather knew from her contact with Kyle"s mind that he hated it when these situations came up. Kyle was was distinctive looking: the red beard, the black hair, the Roman nose. People did remember him-and that just made him self-conscious about his appearance. distinctive looking: the red beard, the black hair, the Roman nose. People did remember him-and that just made him self-conscious about his appearance.
"Anyway," said Heather, "he"s the engineer who helped me build the construct. But even he doesn"t know what it"s for yet. And . . ."
"Yes?"
She shrugged a bit. "We spent some time together. He was interested in me."
Kyle stiffened. "And were you interested in him?"
Heather made a small nod. "What was it someone once said? After you connect with the overmind, you"ll find out that, yes, I l.u.s.ted in my heart." She looked at the floor for a time, then raised her eyes again. "I"ll tell you the truth, Kyle. I"ve been absolutely dreading this. We have been through h.e.l.l together, you and I, and it almost destroyed our marriage." She paused. "But I don"t know if we"re going to survive this. this. I don"t know what you"ll think of me after you"ve seen into my mind." I don"t know what you"ll think of me after you"ve seen into my mind."
Kyle"s face was impa.s.sive.
"Just remember that I love you," Heather said. She took a deep breath. "Now, let"s go see Paul."
It was a trivial matter to reprogram the manufacturing robot to make a new set of tiles one hundred and fifty percent the size of the old ones. Paul was totally perplexed as to why they were needed, though, especially when Kyle signed the requisition this time. But the new tiles were ready by Sat.u.r.day.
Kyle, Heather, and Becky worked together a.s.sembling them; this construct was being built in Kyle"s lab, which had much more free s.p.a.ce and much higher ceilings than did Heather"s office. It was such an awesome thing-to be building an alien device!-and yet all that Kyle kept thinking about was how wonderful it was for the three of them to be doing something together again.
"What are you doing?" asked Cheetah, his eyes watching them from the console.
"It"s a secret," said Becky as she snapped two tiles together.
"I can keep a secret," said Cheetah.
"He can, you know," said Kyle, looking up from the pile of tiles in front of him.
Cheetah waited patiently, and finally Heather told him about the overmind and the Centauri tool for accessing it.
"Fascinating," said Cheetah when she was done. "It does much to resolve the question once and for all of my humanity."
"How so?" asked Heather.
"I am manufactured. I am separate from the human overmind." He paused. "I am not human."
"No, you"re not," said Kyle. "You"re not an extension of a larger ent.i.ty."
"I am hooked up to the Internet," said Cheetah defensively.
"Of course you are," said Kyle. "Of course you are."
Cheetah was quiet for a long time. "What"s it like being human, Dr. Graves?"
Kyle opened his mouth to reply, then closed it, giving the matter further thought. He looked first at his wife, then at his daughter. "It"s wonderful, Cheetah." He shrugged a little. "Sometimes it"s so wonderful, it hurts."
Cheetah considered this, then: "Do I understand," said the computer, "that you, Professor Davis, have had absolute access to Dr. Graves"s mind?"
"That"s right."
"And that you, Dr. Graves, are about to have the ability to gain similar access to Professor Davis"s mind?"
"So I"m told," said Kyle.
"And that you, Becky, have also entered this psychos.p.a.ce realm?"
"Uh-huh."