"And when that fails?" She stalked to the door, looked back at him. "We"ll lose the mri, you know that. How do we win, in a waiting game with regul?"
"We apply pressure . . . quietly. It"s all we can do."
"And can"t they figure that out? It"s their game. Our generations are a fraction of theirs. Our whole lifespans are nothing to their three centuries. If you"re right, if there is an adult developing among them, they can even out-populate us in the long run. And if there isn"t one now, there will be, sooner or later, this year or the next. Sooner or later, Saber Saber will give up and pull us out We"re mortal, Emil. We think in terms of weeks and months. The regul will get the mri in the end. Do you see will give up and pull us out We"re mortal, Emil. We think in terms of weeks and months. The regul will get the mri in the end. Do you see Saber Saber tying itself up here for longer than a few months? And do you think regul wouldn"t wait fifty out of their three hundred years to have their own way with the mri? And we can"t. Fifty years . . . and we"re all dead." tying itself up here for longer than a few months? And do you think regul wouldn"t wait fifty out of their three hundred years to have their own way with the mri? And we can"t. Fifty years . . . and we"re all dead."
Luiz gazed at her, his dark eyes shrouded in wrinkled lids, his mouth pressed to a fine line. "Don"t you go on me, Boz. We"ve lost too many to that kind of thinking. I won"t hear you start it."
"Four suicides and six on trank? It"s Gale"s sort who go that route . . . the young, who had illusions of a Hie after this mission is over. You and I, we"re too old for that We at least have a past to look back on. They don"t. Only the jumps. And more of them to face on the way home. The drugs may not last; we were handing out doubled doses at the end. And what after that? You tell me what that voyage will be like with no drugs." with no drugs."
"Well find something."
"We can try." try." She made a shrug that was half a shiver. "This world, Emil, the age, the She made a shrug that was half a shiver. "This world, Emil, the age, the age age of it one vast tomb; the seas dried up, the cities frozen and waiting for the sun to go out and all s.p.a.ce about empty of life. Dear G.o.d, what is it to be young among such sights as these? It"s bad enough to be old." of it one vast tomb; the seas dried up, the cities frozen and waiting for the sun to go out and all s.p.a.ce about empty of life. Dear G.o.d, what is it to be young among such sights as these? It"s bad enough to be old."
Luiz came and took her by the arms, gathered her to him, and she held to him until the shivers stopped.
"Emil" she said, "promise me something. Talk to the staff. Let me talk to them. We can hold Flower Flower here, right where we sit, with all her staff. No lessening the stakes, no making it easier for them, regul or human." here, right where we sit, with all her staff. No lessening the stakes, no making it easier for them, regul or human."
"We can"t. We can"t make gestures, Boz. Can"t. I don"t know what Koch has in mind up there or down here, but we can"t cripple our own side by making independent moves. We have to protect our people and we have to be ready to lift on the instant the orders come. We"re the other star-capable ship and we"ve no right to gamble with it."
"We"ve no right not to."
"I can"t listen to you."
"Won"t." Boaz turned aside, drew a long breath, glanced back again. "And what answer does Koch have for us?"
Luiz drew the ca.s.sette from his pocket, stared at it as at something poisonous. "I"ll lay bets what answer he has; that those overflights aren"t ours."
"Play it," Boaz said. She closed the door. "Let"s both hear it."
He looked doubtful, frowning, but after a moment walked around her desk to push it into the player.
Gibberish filled die screens, codes, authorizations, Saber"s Saber"s emblem. Boaz came and sat on the edge of the desk near Luiz, arms folded, heart beating hard with tension. emblem. Boaz came and sat on the edge of the desk near Luiz, arms folded, heart beating hard with tension.
". . . request Xen staff cooperation with military mission," request Xen staff cooperation with military mission," the tape meandered to its point, the tape meandered to its point, "in on-site recon if this should prove necessary. Your base is base for this operation; request your staff conduct advance briefings prior to start of mission. Mission head is Lt. Comdr. James R. Galey. All decisions mission Code Dante to be made by Comdr. Galey, including final selection among "in on-site recon if this should prove necessary. Your base is base for this operation; request your staff conduct advance briefings prior to start of mission. Mission head is Lt. Comdr. James R. Galey. All decisions mission Code Dante to be made by Comdr. Galey, including final selection among Flower Flower staff volunteers for mission slot. Suggest staff member D. Tenzio. Your full cooperation in this matter urgently pleaded. Mission is recon only, stress, recon only, effort to comprehend nature of civilization and establish character of city installations. Failure of staff volunteers for mission slot. Suggest staff member D. Tenzio. Your full cooperation in this matter urgently pleaded. Mission is recon only, stress, recon only, effort to comprehend nature of civilization and establish character of city installations. Failure of Flower Flower cooperation will jeopardize search for alternative solutions." cooperation will jeopardize search for alternative solutions."
She flung herself off the desk edge and started for the door.
"Boz," Luiz called after her.
She stopped. The tape had run out "Boz," Luiz said, his wrinkles drawn into lines of anguish. "You"re fifty-two years old. There"s no way you could keep up with those young men."
She looked down at herself, at a plump body that resisted diets, that ached with bad arches and wheezed when she had to carry equipment in standard gee. She had not been good to herself in her life; too much of sitting at desks, too much of reading, too much of postponing.
And the sum of her life rested in the freckled hands of a whipcord young soldier with no sense what he was about.
"I"m going," she said. "Emil, I"m going to talk to young Mr. Galey and he"s going to listen."
"Jeopardize the operation for your personal satisfaction."
She turned a furious look on him, took a breath and drew herself up to her small height. "I"m going to give them the best they can get, Emil, that"s what; because I know more than Damon Tenzio or Sim Averson or any three of the a.s.sistants put together. Say otherwise."
He did not Perhaps, she thought halfway down the corridor at as fast a pace as she could manage She glanced back, half-expecting to see him in the doorway. He was. He nodded to her slowly too old himself, she realized; he knew her mind, knew to the bottom of his heart. He would be down the hall ahead of her if he could.
She nodded, a tautness in her throat, turned and went hunting Galey.
Harris kicked in the engines, took a cursory glance at the instruments, his mind wandering to Saber, Saber, to a hot cup of coffee; and to the next day off-duty, which was the reward of a down-world flight. Last of all he cast a glance to his right, at the little man who fussed nervously with the restraints. to a hot cup of coffee; and to the next day off-duty, which was the reward of a down-world flight. Last of all he cast a glance to his right, at the little man who fussed nervously with the restraints.
"They"re all right," Harris said. Groundling, this Dr. Averson, a dedicated groundling. He decided, humanely, to make the lift as gentle as possible; the man had some years on him. Averson blinked round-eyed at him, the sweat already broken out on his brow. Harris diverted his attention again to the instruments, advised Flower Flower bridge of his status, began slow lift. bridge of his status, began slow lift.
The shuttle responded with a leisurely solidity. He watched the altimeter, leveled gradually at 6,000 m and banked to come about for their run.
"We"re turning," Averson said; and when he gave no answer; "We"re turning." Averson raised his voice well over the noise of the engines. "We never turned. What"s the matter?"
"We"re coming about, sir," Harris said, adjusted the plug in his left ear to be sure he could hear warnings over Averson"s clamor. He set the scan to audio alarm, wide-range. "Shuttles handle different than Flower. Flower. We"re just heading where we should be." We"re just heading where we should be."
They came to course. The desert slipped under them by slow degrees, with the indigo to pink shadings of the sky above and the bronze to red tones of the desert, the great chasm which might once have been a sea pa.s.sed the area of the recent storm and across the chasm. Scan clicked away the whole route, the instruments moduled into cargo. They crossed no cities this way and made no provocations. It was a tame run, toward a gentle parting with Kutath"s pull. He relaxed finally as Averson settled down; the man took enough interest to lean toward the port and look down, though with a visible flinching.
Quiet. Sand and sky and quiet. Harris let go a breath, settled for the long run out.
Suddenly a tone went off in his ear and he flicked a glance at the screen, his heart slamming in panic. He accelerated on the instant and their relation to the blips altered in a series of pulses as Averson howled outrage.
He angled for evasion and the howl became a choked gasp.
"Something"s on our tail," he said. "Check your belts." The latter was something to take Averson"s mind off their situation. He was calculating, glancing from screen to instruments. Two blips, coming up at his underbelly.
He veered again. The blips were in position to fire on the rise, could; might; he felt it in his gut He increased the climb rate and the ship"s boards flashed distress at him.
For the first time the bogies separated, shifting position and alt.i.tude. His heart went into his throat and he flipped the cover off the armscomp, ready. "Hang on," he yelled at Averson, and punched com, breaking his ordered silence. "Any human ship, NAS-6; we"ve got a sighting."
He banked violently and dropped; and Averson"s scream echoed in his ear. The bogey whipped by and a screen flared; they had been fired on. He completed his roll and nosed up again as rapidly as the ship could bear.
"Get us help!" Averson cried.
"Isn"t any." He punched com again, hoping for someone to relay to Saber. Saber. "Got two bogeys here. Does anybody read?" "Got two bogeys here. Does anybody read?"
The pulse in his ear increased, nearing. He whipped off at an angle that wrung a shriek from Averson, climbing for very life, trying at the same time to get an image on his screen. The sky turned pink and indigo, the pulses died, went offscreen. In a little more the indigo deepened and they were still accelerating, running for what speed and alt.i.tude they could attain; the sound of the engines changed as systems began to convert.
Averson was sick. Harris reached over and ripped a bag out of storage and gave it to him. For some little time there was the quiet sound of retching, which did no kindness to his own stomach.
"Water in the bottle there," Harris said. And fervently; "Don"t spill anything. We"re going null before long." He devoted his attention the while to the vacant scan, to making sure all the recorders were in order. He heard Averson scrabbling about after the water, the spasm seeming to have pa.s.sed. His own stomach kept heaving in sympathy. "Disposal to your right."
Dayside was under them, and Saber Saber was over the horizon. The instruments had nothing, not a flicker. Harris calculated. Somewhere on this side of the world lay regul was over the horizon. The instruments had nothing, not a flicker. Harris calculated. Somewhere on this side of the world lay regul Shirug, Shirug, beyond their scan; and somewhere downworld were cities with weapons which could strike at craft in orbit, if they once obtained a fix on so small a vessel as themselves. beyond their scan; and somewhere downworld were cities with weapons which could strike at craft in orbit, if they once obtained a fix on so small a vessel as themselves.
Or if they had it already.
Averson s.n.a.t.c.hed at another bag, dry-heaved for a time. They were in a queasy wallowing at the moment. Harris gave them visual stability with the world, wiped at the sweat that coursed his face, trying to reckon where Shirug Shirug might be. He had a dread of her coming up in forward scan, and die bogeys coming up under him again. might be. He had a dread of her coming up in forward scan, and die bogeys coming up under him again.
"Going to go back on course," he said to no one in particular. "At least that way downworld isn"t so likely to have a shot at us."
Averson said nothing. Harris reoriented and Kutath"s angry surface swung under their forward scan.
There was no reaction anywhere. A slow tremor came into Harris"s muscles, a knee that wanted to jerk against his will. He reckoned that somewhere over the horizon Saber Saber would grow concerned when they failed schedule, that somewhere near them would grow concerned when they failed schedule, that somewhere near them Santiago Santiago must be on the prowl over dayside, regul-watching. must be on the prowl over dayside, regul-watching.
Then a tone sounded in his ear and a blip appeared on the edge of the screen, on and off. He kept his eye on it, his pulse pounding so that it almost obscured his audio. He did not tell Averson. It was of no use yet. He considered another dive into atmosphere. Maybe, he thought, that was what he was being encouraged to do. There had been two of them.
The sweat ran, the single blip grew no closer, and he wiped at his lip and tried to reckon his chances of being allowed to go his way. He could find himself up against some outrunner for Shirug, Shirug, against which he was a gnat-sized irritant. against which he was a gnat-sized irritant.
"How much longer?" Averson asked him.
"Don"t know, sir. Just stay quiet Got a problem here to recalculate."
There was no way it avoided having him in scan, traveling so neatly at the edge of his own.
Suddenly it disappeared out of range.
That gave him no feeling of safety. It was back there; there could be any number back there.
The ruddy surface of the world slipped under their bow and whitened to polar frost. Ahead was the terminator.
Be there, he entreated. he entreated. Saber, Saber, for the love of G.o.d, be there. Saber, Saber, for the love of G.o.d, be there.
Averson fumbled after something in his pocket, a bottle of pills. He shook one out and put it into his mouth. He was looking gray.
"Things are going all right," Harris lied. "Relax, sir."
"We"re alive," Averson muttered.
"Yes, sir, we are."
And a blip appeared at three o"clock of the scope, coming up fast. The pulse erupted in his ear, faster and faster, deepening as the instruments gauged size; it was big.
A screen flared, a computer flashing demands to his comp. Hasty pulses flurried across, coded; he punched in, braced for recognition or for fire.
"Shuttle NAS-6," a human voice said, "this is Santiago." Santiago."
He punched com, weak with relief. "This is NAS-6. Two bogeys downworld, fire on their side, coming in with a bogey on my tail."
"Affirmative, NAS-6, we copy. Correct course our heading. Proceed to Saber." Saber."
He made the adjustments, recalled Averson, looked into the round-eyed face and nodded confirmation of the hope he saw there.
They crept farther into night, within the protective cloak of Santiago"s Santiago"s scan. He had Santiago"s scope on-screen now; it showed rea.s.suringly clear, all but human shuttles and a friendly blip that was scan. He had Santiago"s scope on-screen now; it showed rea.s.suringly clear, all but human shuttles and a friendly blip that was Saber. Saber.
Harris shifted footing uncomfortably, received the nod that sent him into the admiral"s office . . . stood there, staring down at the hero of Elag, Haven and of Adavan, at the balding visage which up till now he had never had to face alone.
The formalities were short and on his own part unsteady. "Averson?" the admiral asked him, and his voice was grim.
"Meds have him, sir. A little shaken up."
"Close?"
"Close, sir."
"Security will have your tapes running now. Sit down, down, lieutenant. Did you get a clear image on your attackers?" lieutenant. Did you get a clear image on your attackers?"
Harris sank into the offered chair, looked up again into that lean, ruddy face. "No, sir. I never managed it Tried, sir. Not big, not quick on high gee maneuvers; had me, if they could or wanted,. . . hara.s.sment or just too slow, maybe."
"You"re suggesting by that remark that they could have been regul?"
Harris said nothing for the moment. A mistake, a mistake in that opinion; he reckoned where that led; and swallowed bile. "I couldn"t be a hundred percent sure of anything. They were about that size; they shied off from high gee turns and climbs. I"ve flown against mri. Mri feel different. Fast. Apt to outguess you and crosscut your moves." He silenced himself, embarra.s.sed before a man who had been in it before he was born, who sat regarding him with cold calculation. Koch would know, all the same. The impression would make sense to a man who had flown against both.
"I"ll view the tapes," Koch said. Harris rea.s.sured himself with that, desperately relieved to believe someone else would be counter-checking his observations. "Did you," Koch asked, "have your armscomp engaged?"
"Yes, sir."
"Maneuver to fire?"
"No, sir; they came up at my belly and I zigged and got out without firing."
Koch nodded. It might be approval of his actions or simply introspection. Koch leaned aside to key something into the desk console. There was delay; finally a response lit the screen, but Harris could not read it at his angle.
"Dr. Averson"s under process in sick bay," Koch said; and Harris reckoned that hereafter would be complaints. He was caught in the vise, civs and military. Someone gave the orders and the complaints ended up on his record. "Meds indicate he came through in good shape," Koch said, "but they"re going to keep him him a little while. We"ll be talking with him. Did he have any comment on the scanning pa.s.s?" a little while. We"ll be talking with him. Did he have any comment on the scanning pa.s.s?"
"Said nothing, sir. Wasn"t much to see."
"And the ships?"
"Don"t think he observed much, sir."
"Point of origin?"
"From my view, east and low, veered to my heading and tailed."
Koch nodded slowly, leaned back. "I appreciate the job, lieutenant. That will be all. Dismissed."
"Sir." He rose, saluted, left, his knees still wobbling in carrying him past the secretary in the front office and down the corridor outside. There would be other flights, he suspected so; backup or not, there would be use found for him. He had beaten the odds in the war, and the war was supposed to be over. He had believed so. Every human alive had believed so.
He took the turn down to the prep room, half seeing the scatter of men and women who were ordinary about the place, preferring this company until he had his nerves steady again. It was the unofficial center for preflight meetings and for beating the goblins after; it had hot coffee around the clock, an automat, and human company that made no demands a clutter of zone charts on the walls, unofficially scrawled with notes home, home, one wit had scrawled on a system chart, with an arrow spiraling forlornly off the board a screen linked to scanning; tables and hard chairs, lockers for personal gear. one wit had scrawled on a system chart, with an arrow spiraling forlornly off the board a screen linked to scanning; tables and hard chairs, lockers for personal gear.
He wandered over to the coffee dispenser and filled a cup, stirred ersatz cream into it, suddenly aware of silence in the room. A group of men and women was cl.u.s.tered about the center table, some standing, some seated. ... He looked that way, found no one looking at him directly, and wondered if he was the subject of the rumor. James, Montoya, Hale, Suonava he knew them . . . too well for such silence.
He ventured among them, stubborn and uncomfortable, and Suonava moved a foot out of a seat for him; his rumpled blues and their crisp ones marked which had priorities at table in this room without rank. He sank into the chair and took a sip of his coffee.
The silence persisted. No one moved, some seated, some standing. He set the cup down, looked about him.
"Something wrong?"
"NAS-io"s failed rendezvous," one said. "Van is missing down there."