"That"s why I forgive you," she said, with sudden frankness, and a blush reddened her cheeks under the fawn-coloured veil she had drawn down again.
He took her hand, against her will and almost violently, but in an instant his own was gentle again.
"Margaret!" His voice had a thrill in it.
"No," she answered, but not roughly now, and scarcely trying to free herself. "No. I don"t love you in the least. That is why I won"t marry you. There"s something that draws me to you against my will sometimes--yes, I know that! But I hate it, and I"m afraid of it. It"s not what I like in you, it"s what I like least. It"s something like hypnotism, I"m sure. I"m ashamed of it, because it is what has made me flirt with you. Yes, I have! I"ve flirted outrageously, except that I"ve always told you that I never would marry you. I"ve been truthful in that, at all events."
"Do you think I reproach you?"
"You might have, this morning. Now we have each something to reproach the other. We will forgive and say good-bye for a while. When we meet again, that something I"m afraid of will be gone--perhaps--then everything will be different. Now, good-bye."
He had held her hand all the time while she had been speaking. She pressed his now, with an impulse of frank loyalty, and dropped it suddenly.
"Do you mean that I may not even come and see you?" he asked.
"Not till after my _debut_," answered Margaret in a decided tone, for she felt that she dominated him at last. "You don"t want me to be a singer and I cannot help feeling your opposition. It disturbs me, as the time comes near. Of course I can"t hinder you from being there on the first night----"
"No indeed!"
"And when you"ve heard me, and seen Gilda"s head come out of the sack, and when the curtain has gone down on Rigoletto"s despair--why, then you may come behind and congratulate me, especially if I"ve made a failure! Till then I don"t want to see you, please!"
"I cannot wait so long. It is nearly three weeks."
Margaret stood up very straight in the doorway, already past him and free to go out.
"Since I am willing to forgive you for losing your head just now," she said, "it"s for me to decide whether you may ever see me again, and if so when, and where. I"ve been very good to you. Now I am going."
It seemed to him that she had grown all at once in strength and individuality till there was nothing for him to do but to submit. This was an illusion, no doubt; she was just what she had always been, and what he had always judged her, a gifted young woman, rather inclined to flirt and easily guided in any direction, whose exuberant animal vitality might pa.s.s for strong character in the eyes of an inexperienced innocent like Lushington, but could not deceive an old hand like Logotheti for a moment. Nevertheless, when she had spoken her last words and was leading the way out of the room, Logotheti felt a little like a small boy who has had his ears boxed for being too cheeky, which is a sensation not at all pleasant or natural to an old hand.
As he took her down in the little lift, he vaguely wondered whether he had ever thought of her till now except as an animated work of art; comparable in beauty with his encaustic painting or his dearly loved Aphrodite; worth more than either of them as a possible possession, as life is worth more than stone, and endowed with a divine voice; but having neither soul, intelligence, nor will to speak of, nor any original power of ruling others, still less of resisting a systematic and prolonged attack.
The change had come quickly. Logotheti thought of beautiful beings of old, disguised as yielding, mortal women, who had visited the men they loved on earth and had by and by revealed themselves as true and puissant G.o.ddesses, moving in a sphere of rosy light, and speaking only to command.
Logotheti took her down in the lift and they went back into the big room where they had left Madame De Rosa. They found her looking out of the window. Books did not interest her, nor pictures either, there was no piano in the room and the maraschino was locked up. So there was nothing to do but to look out of the window. As the two came in she turned sharply to them, with her head on one side, as birds do, and her intelligent little eyes sparkled. She was a good little woman herself, and believed in heaven and salvation, but she had no particular belief in man and none at all in woman. On the other hand, she had a very keen scent for the truth in love affairs, and in Logotheti"s subdued expression she instantly detected sure signs of discomfiture, which were fully confirmed by Margaret"s serene and superior manner. Men sometimes follow women into a room with such an air of submission that one almost looks for the string by which they are led.
Madame De Rosa nodded her approval to Margaret in a rather officious manner, much as if she were congratulating her pupil on having soundly beaten an unruly and dangerous dog.
"Well done," the nod said. "Beat him again, the very next time he does it!"
But Margaret either did not understand at all, or did not care for Madame De Rosa"s approbation, for she returned no answering glance of intelligence.
"I hope," she said, "that I have not kept you too long."
The former prima donna looked at a tiny watch set in diamonds, the gift of a great tenor whom she had taught.
"Not at all," she said. "It"s not twenty minutes since we came."
She put the watch to her ear and listened. Nine women out of ten are generally in doubt as to whether their watches have not just stopped.
"Yes," she said. "It is going."
Logotheti remembered how long the seconds had seemed while he was taking Margaret up in the lift, and it seemed as if hours had pa.s.sed since then.
"Good-bye," said Margaret, holding out one hand and pa.s.sing the other through Madame De Rosa"s arm to lead her away.
"Good-bye," Logotheti answered. "Of course," he continued, "you must please remember that if I can be of any use in making investments for you, you have only to send me your commands. I am at your service for anything connected with the money market."
"Thank you," said Margaret, ambiguously, as to the tone in which the words were spoken, but with a quick glance of approval.
He had meant his speech for Madame De Rosa, who had probably been told that Margaret came to see him on a matter of business. But it was quite unnecessary. The little Neapolitan woman could judge of the state of a love affair at any moment with a certainty as unerring as that of a great cook who can tell by a mere glance what stage of development the finest sauce has reached. She supported Logotheti"s fiction, however, without a smile.
"Ah, my dear," she said, "always consult him, if he will help you!
Bonanni owes half her fortune to his judgment, and I could certainly not live as I do if he had not given me his advice and kind a.s.sistance."
"You exaggerate, dear lady," said Logotheti, opening the door for them, and following them into the hall.
"Not in the least," laughed Madame De Rosa, "though I am sure that Cordova is quite able to take care of herself and is much too proud to owe you anything."
She often called Margaret by her stage name, as artists do among themselves, but it jarred disagreeably on Logotheti"s ear.
"You are right in that," he said, rather coldly, as a footman appeared and opened the outer door. "Miss Donne"--he emphasised the name a little--"will probably not need any help from me. But if she should, I am her very humble servant."
"Thank you," Margaret said, in the same ambiguous tone as before.
Thereupon she and Madame De Rosa nodded to him and left him bowing on his doorstep. They walked away in the direction of the Batignolles station. When they had heard the door of the house shut, Madame De Rosa spoke.
"You are splendid, my dear," she said with admiration. "But take care!
To play with Logotheti is like balancing a volcano on the tip of your nose while you juggle with the world, the flesh and the devil--you know what I mean--the man who keeps a cannon-ball, an empty bottle and a bit of paper all going at once with one hand. I am afraid Logotheti will do something unexpected, to upset all our plans."
"He had better not!" answered Margaret, drooping her lids; and her eyes flashed, and her handsome lips pouted a little.
CHAPTER XVII
Margaret, it is sad to relate, was much less concerned about the two men who were in love with her than is considered becoming in a woman of heart. She confessed to herself, without excess of penitence, that she had flirted abominably with them both, she consoled her conscience with the reflection that they were both alive and apparently very well, and she put all her strength, which was great, into preparing for her _debut_.
Men never love so energetically and persuasively as when they are fighting every day for life, honour or fame, and are already on the road to victory; but a woman"s pa.s.sion, though true and lasting, may be momentarily quite overshadowed by the antic.i.p.ation of a new hat or of a social battle of uncertain issue. How much more, then, by the near approach of such an event as a first appearance on the stage!
Logotheti bribed the doorkeeper at the small theatre where Margaret was rehearsing. Whenever there was a rehearsal he was there before her, quite out of sight in the back of a lower box, and he did not go away until he was quite sure that she had left. He knew women well enough to be certain that if anything could make Margaret wish to see him it would be his own strict observance of her request not to show himself; and in the meantime he enjoyed some moments of keen delight in watching her and listening to her. He felt something of the selfish pleasure which filled that King of Bavaria who had a performance of _Lohengrin_ given for himself alone. But the pleasure was not unmixed, nor was the delight unclouded.
Even Schreiermeyer had given up coming to the rehearsals, for he was now sure of Margaret"s success and had pa.s.sed on to other business. In the dim stalls there appeared only the shabby relations and rather gorgeous friends of the other members of the company. There was the young painter who loved the leading girl of the chorus, there was the wholesale upholsterer who admired the contralto, and a little apart there was the middle-aged great lady who entertained a romantic and expensive pa.s.sion for the tenor. The tenor was a young Italian, who was something between a third-rate poet and a spoilt child when he was in love and was as cynical as Macchiavelli when he was not, which was the case at present, at least so far as the middle-aged woman of the world was concerned. His friends could always tell the state of his affections by the way he sang in _Rigoletto_. When he was hopelessly in love himself, he sang "La donna e mobile" with tears in his voice, as if his heart were breaking; when, on the contrary, he knew that some unhappy female was hopelessly in love with him, he sang it with a sort of laugh that was diabolically irritating. At the present time he seemed to be in an intermediate state, for he sometimes sang it in the one way and sometimes in the other, to the despair of the poor foolish lady in the stalls. The truth was that at irregular intervals he felt that he was in love with Margaret.
Leading singers are very rarely attracted by each other. Perhaps that is because they receive such a vast amount of adulation which pleases them better, and of course there have been famous instances of the contrary, such as Mario and Grisi. As a rule singers do not meet much except at the theatre; it is only during rehearsals that they have a chance of talking, and then, as everybody knows, they show the worst side of themselves and are often in a very bad temper indeed.
Margaret had not reached that stage yet, for she had met with no disappointments and could not complain of her manager, and moreover she was not at all above learning what she could from her fellow-artists.
She was therefore popular with them in spite of the fact that she was a lady born. They overlooked that, because she could sing, and the tenor only remembered it when he tried to patronise her a little. He had often sung with Melba, and she did this or that, and he had sung with Bonanni and knew exactly how she sang the difficult pa.s.sages, and he reeled off the precepts and practice of half-a-dozen other lyric sopranos, giving Margaret to understand that he was willing and able to teach her a good deal. But she only smiled kindly, and did precisely what Madame De Rosa told her to do, seeing that the little Neapolitan had taught most of them what they knew. It was clear that Margaret could not be patronised, and the other members of the company liked her the better for it, because the tenor patronised them all and gave them to understand that they were rather small fry compared with a man who could hold the high C and walk off the stage with it.