I turn my head towards him. "Yeah, but how do I know it"s going to be better? I mean, for all I know I could never be born or something. Or I could be, but not end up with Alex. Or the same bad things could happen; I really don"t know."
"Yeah, but you do know this..." He gestures at the door. "You do know that Luna and the Fey are running around and that you"re going to either have to kill her or be killed. There"s also a battle going on between the Fey and one of them is going to have to win eventually. If the world survives through it, it might not even matter, depending on who wins in the end." He pauses, leaning in. "And Alex, he"s trapped with Draven."
I swallow hard, thinking about what Alex will become. "I know all of this. You don"t need to remind me."
"But I have to," he says. "I have to get you to make a decision. Do we continue forward or do we take a risk and start over?"
I think about everything; good and bad. I think about the pain I"ve experienced, the fear, the love, the pa.s.sion, the kisses, the friendships. The way it feels when Alex touches me. I think about what it took to get there and I think about how briefly it stayed before it vanished. It"s a moment in my life that I"ll remember forever, yet, I won"t. Because it"ll never actually happen. All I do is nod, but it"s enough that he understands.
Getting to his feet, he heads for the door, looking happier than I"ve ever seen him.
I get up and follow him. "Where are we going?"
He grins as he swings the door open and the air outside gusts in. "We"re going to save the world."
Chapter 37.
Gemma Evan surprises me when we go inside to only grab his jacket. Slipping his arms through the sleeves, he puts it on. "We should hurry."
"Where are we going?" I peer outside the window at a man and woman strolling up the sidewalk. They"re holding hands and staring straight ahead. The way they walk looks wrong, lifting their feet up from the ground way too much. That"s how I know they"re probably not really human. I wonder if that"s what"s going on. If maybe the neighborhood is possessed by Lost Souls.
Evan zips his jacket up. "We"re going to get my watch."
I point to a clock hanging crookedly on the wall. "The time"s right there."
He shakes his head, giving me a dirty look. "I need it so we can reset time."
I tuck my hands inside of my pockets. "Sorry, I"m just tired."
We hear rustling coming from the stairs and Evan"s head whips in that direction with panic in his eyes. "We need to go," he says and grabs my arm. "Now. I"ve seen you try to lie and you suck at it... and they can"t... I can"t let anyone else know. I"ll be messing with the future if I did."
"Hey, I can lie." I scowl at him as I move my arm out of his hold. "We can"t just take off and not tell them where we"re going. They"ll flip."
He surrenders his hands in front of him. "Relax, they won"t even remember it in a few minutes."
I sigh, knowing he"s right, but hating that we"re bailing. "So what"s the plan? How does this all work?"
He glances at the staircase and then back at me. "Well, first you have to Foresee us back to the castle since I lost my crystal in the d.a.m.n lake."
As footsteps head down the stairs, I nod and shut my eyes. "Hold onto me," I say and his fingers enfold around my upper arm.
I realize how exhausted I am while doing this. How much I loathe constantly moving around. I just want to sit still and take a moment to breathe; I hope that one day I"ll get to.
We land in the gra.s.s lining the sh.o.r.e. I instantly scan the toppled trees, the footprints in the mud, and the nearly demolished castle. Everything is ruined, destroyed. It"s all gone.
Evan nods towards the castle. "If you want, I can run back and grab it. You can wait here."
I shake my head. "No, I think I"d rather go with you," I say, not explaining why. That I want to say a silent good-bye to a place that changed my life. Almost fifteen years ago, I sat in that castle and Sophia detached my soul. It changed my life, but in a few moments, that life isn"t going to exist.
We hike up the hill, a cool breeze blowing against us. The sun is starting to descend behind the mountains, the land shadowing; the day coming to an end.
"So, how does this whole time resetting thing work?" I break the silence, kicking a rock across the gra.s.s.
He tips his head towards me and his hair falls into his eyes. "The biggest thing is that you have to believe it"ll work. If you don"t then you might as well not even try," he says. "The rest is pretty simple. You push a b.u.t.ton inside the watch. Once you push it, everything sets into motion, but if you"re not using all of your energy and focus on the exact moment in time that needs changed, you"ll blow it and nothing will happen. We"ll be stuck here, facing the future and everything that comes with it."
"Wow, way to put pressure on me," I reply sarcastically.
"A little pressure never hurt anyone," he says. "In fact, it might help you get everything right."
We make the rest of the journey to the castle in silence. I"m still not sure if I believe it. If I can do it. If I want to do it. The one thing I know is that I"m going to try.
Evan walks into the foyer and steps around the shattered chandelier at the bottom of the stairway. The walls are cracked, some even knocked out, and there are ma.s.sive holes in the floor. The banister has been knocked down, the paintings, lamps, furniture-demolished. Strangely, the mirror on the wall is still intact and I wonder if the violet eyes staring back at me will be the same one"s I see in my next life. Will I still be the same person? Will I even remember any of this?
Evan easily jumps to the second step of the stairway, the bottom one missing. Then, he extends his hand to me and I take it, letting him pull me over the hole in the floor and place me down beside him. We make our way up the stairs and, when we reach the top, I let out a quiet gasp at the missing ceiling. Evan ignores the mess and continues through it, ducking beneath the caved-in areas and stepping over the debris.
He keeps going, without saying a word, until we reach where he"s been sleeping over the last few weeks. He lifts a dresser lying flat on the floor and pushes it upright. He pulls the top drawer open and, reaching inside it, he retrieves a gold-plated pocket watch that hangs from a golden chain. It dawns on me how many times I"ve seen him fiddling with the chain.
"You"ve had that the whole time?" I ask, reaching for it.
He turns to the side, moving out of my reach as he runs his thumb along an inscription in the back-to keep track of time. "Yeah, like I"m going to leave it around for someone to get ahold of. Do you know how many people would love to get a hold of this?"
I could name about a thousand names; including Helena, Lucinda and Stephan. I wouldn"t even put it past Sophia to seek it out, in the hopes of saving Marco.
I let out a breath. "So that"s it? That"s what"s going to change life as we know it?"
He nods, looking at me warily. "I think I should tell you one more thing-I feel like I have to."
I prepare myself for the worst because it"s always best to be prepared. "Okay, hit me with it."
The corners of his lips quirk. "If you manage to do this... to reset time, you probably won"t remember anything." He gestures at the room and then touches the star on my inner wrist.
It rushes through me, like razor sharp poison, jagged edges catching my skin, tearing me apart on the inside. Everything. Every blissful moment. Every promise. Every kiss. Hug. Word. Touch. Breath. Every single second I"ve spent with him, will be gone. I won"t know it.
Tears start to fall from my eyes as I grasp the entire situation of what I"m about to do.
"Gemma, I-" he starts, but the sound of a voice cuts him off.
"I know you"re in here, Evan."
"Is that Alex?" I whisper and then I turn, starting to run towards the sound of his voice.
"Come out and play!" Alex yells and then lets out a cackling laugh.
Evan snags the back of my shirt and yanks me back. "Wait a second. That sounds like Alex, but it might not be."
"Of course, it"s him," I say, trying to pry his fingers off my shirt. I need to go to him, feel him, know that everything I thought was just a lie. "It sounds just like him." I pinch his fingers hard, but he refuses to release me. "Would you let me go?"
He shakes his head sharply. "Stay here and I"ll go check... we need to make sure he"s not... he"s not a Lord."
It nearly kills me to do it, the need to be near him so consuming, it"s maddening. "Hurry."
Before he leaves he grabs my hand and places the watch into my palm. "Just in case."
I close my hand around the cold metal. "But what about your power? Don"t I need it?"
Evan closes his eyes and places a hand on each of my cheeks. I don"t breathe as a warm sensation spills over my body and floods through my veins like hot wax. My adrenaline surges, thudding through my body powerfully as my skin begins to crawl. Without moving my head, I look down at my arms and hands, turning them over with my mouth open in awe.
My pale skin is covered in lines, shapes, intricate patterns that create mark after mark; all connected, yet, all separate at the same time. They glow in different colors; blue, purple, violet, green, even black. "It"s amazing," I whisper.
Evan lowers his hands from my face, rolls up his sleeves, and turns his arms over. His once marked skin is now bare, like freshly fallen snow. Sighing, he rolls his sleeves back down. "It"s weird, but I actually kind of miss them."
I trace my finger along a spirally mark on the back of my hand. "So that"s it?"
He nods, backing for the door. "That"s it."
I step forward and grab his arm. "Wait, you can"t protect yourself now. If Alex is a Lord..." I think of my vision and Alex standing over our bodies. "He might hurt you."
He shakes his head. "It doesn"t matter. When you reset time, I can be alive or dead and it doesn"t matter."
"It doesn"t matter," I mutter under my breath, gripping the watch in my hand as I watch him walk away. When he reaches the doorway, he turns and doesn"t look back as he disappears into the hallway.
"Well, well, there you are," I hear Alex say and deep down in my heart, I know it"s not him. He"s gone. Alex is gone.
I inch around large pieces of collapsed ceiling and stop near the doorway, needing to see him one last time. I take a deep breath and, pressing my back against the wall, I peek around the corner.
Over the balcony, I spot Alex in the foyer. He"s dressed in black, his hair is slicked back, looking greasy, and his nails are even painted black. He looks just like the Alex from my vision, his expression equally as cold.
Evan is keeping his distance, staying in the middle of the stairway with his arms tucked to his sides. "Dude, what the h.e.l.l happened to you?" Evan asks, eyeing him over.
Alex stares at him blankly. "I should be asking you the same thing." He takes a step forward, winding around the broken chandelier. "Did you seriously just give up your powers?"
Evan"s jaw drops. "What? I didn"t."
Alex"s taps the back of his hand as he reaches the bottom of the stairway. "Then, where did they go?"
Evan raises his bare hand in front of him, turning it over. "I didn"t," is all he says.
Alex"s lips curl into a grin and his once green eyes are like coals. Raising his hands, he claps them together and I watch in horror as mummified bodies creep out from the holes in the floors, drop down from the roof, the doorways, they even barrel clumsily in through the broken windows. Dragging their legs, they enclose around Evan and the last thing I hear from him is a painful scream.
I start to turn away, shaking in fear, when Alex"s eyes lock on me. I expect him to shout, order them to take me out, but all he does is smile. Shaking my head, I whirl to run, holding the watch, ready to do what I have to do, but when I turn around, I slam into something rock hard.
I push away, but fingers dig into my wrist, tugging me closer.
"Well h.e.l.lo, beautiful." Alex tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, his head tilted as he a.s.sesses me with his chilled eyes. He breathes in deep, briefly shutting his eyes. "Your scent... your soul is intoxicating." His eyes open and a grin curves at his lips.
"It"s your soul, too," I say, trying to wrench away. "You and I share each other"s, in case you can"t remember."
His gaze rises to the ceiling as he thinks about what I said. "I"m pretty sure I don"t have a soul." His eyes move back to me. "But I can"t wait to take yours."
"Oh, pretty please, let me play with her first." The Banshee, who I"ve seen in my dreams-visions-many times, emerges from the end of the hallway. She"s wearing a tight dress and her hair flows down her shoulders. She struts up to me and runs her nails along my cheek. "Pretty please."
Alex sighs. "Give me a minute and you can do whatever you want with her... but I want to do this one alone."
She pouts. "But you promised I could play."
"I know, beautiful, but..." He looks at me. "I really, really want this one."
A gagging noise escapes my throat as I dry heave. "Seriously? Beautiful? Oh my G.o.d, that"s disgusting."
She shoots me a cold, hard stare and raises her hand to slap me, but quicker than my eye can register, Alex knocks her to the ground and then his hands are back on me. The Banshee is out cold as he backs me down the hall until I hit the wall.
He studies me forever with a perplexed look on his face and then he licks his lips. "I think I"m going to really enjoy this."
Shaking my head, tears start to slip from my eyes. I hate the look in his eyes-hate seeing him like this. "Alex, it"s me, Gemma. You... you don"t want to do this. You love me."
His forehead creases and then he sputters a laugh. "Love? Seriously, love"s a bunch of bulls.h.i.t." He sighs and then leans in, presses his body against mine. "It was a nice try, though. The best I"ve seen." He places a hand on my neck with a smile on his face. "I do feel a little bad, if that makes you feel better." His nails dig into my skin and I feel it rupture. Blood spills out as my bones threaten to crack. His muscles tighten as he strangles me harder, his brows furrowing when I don"t fight back.
I can"t fight back. There"s no fight left in me. I wonder if he can feel it. He said he started to feel and see the things I saw. I wonder if he feels my love and knows that all I see is him.
"What"s wrong with you?" He growls, loosening his grip, then tightening it again, like he"s conflicted on whether to strangling me or not. "Don"t you want to try and live?"
I don"t move. In fact, I hold my own breath as my blood trails down his arms. Death consumes me, owns me, starts to drag me away, and right when I"m on the verge of taking my last breath, I whisper through my tears, "I"m sorry."
I"ll never know if he would have finished me off or if his confliction would have won him over. I"ll never know how strong our love is because, if he did kill me, it"s the end. There"d be nothing.
I summon a deep breath and then I let the power flow from my body, the one that kills, not wounds, because I don"t want to mess it up. I let the poison slip through my skin and enter him, coat him with death, steal his air. I kill him. I take his life, sobbing, my heart dying with him.
Gasping, he lets go of me, glancing at his skin and the black vines snaking across him. "What did you..." His eyes roll back and he gasps, crumbling to the floor. And just like that, he"s dead. My one love, my soul mate, my forever, is dead.
I could crawl to him. Cry. Mourn.
I don"t.
I open the watch and stare at the hands moving around and around. In the center of the numbers is a pin-size silver b.u.t.ton. I keep my focus on it, and the power flowing inside my body, as every single mark lights up and the power connects. My lungs expand to the max, filling with air as I press down while shutting my eyes and everything leaves me. Alex. My parents. My friends. Everyone. They"re all gone. And so is the anger, the happiness, the longing, the need, the anguish, the guilt, the pain. It dissipates, like moments in time, the kind that happen so quickly, they blow away in the wind like dandelion seeds You"regoing to do great things, but it"ll be hard. You"ll be tested, more than you already have.
I think of the moment in time when everything changed. A moment that caused so much evil. The moment the Star fell from the sky. Then, I picture it never falling, disappearing, vanishing into thin air. I concentrate on that moment as warmth spreads throughout my body and I feel time fading, like the morning mist.
Evanescence.