Y-yes. Chloe hesitated to correct Tanyas a.s.sumption that this visit was about her most recent difficulties.
I bet there are hundreds of stories like mine all over the country, Tanya said, wiping her eyes. That doesnt make mine any easier to accept.
No. Chloe decided to let her talk.
Especially when Frank Hudson has the first nickel he ever made. As Tanya carefully shifted her son in her lap, Wayans pursed his lips and rubbed his eyes, but didnt wake up. I know Frank was laid off, Tanya continued in a lower voice. But with the money hes pinched over the years, he could have retired when he was thirty.
Chloe wasnt interested in Frank Hudson. He was a minor character in this. Neither particularly bad nor good. And far from any real power source. Where will you go? she asked Tanya, instead.
Even though itll be a really tight fit, my sister says sh.e.l.l take us in temporarily. Till I can find work. But any work I can get wont cover the child care Ill need. She inhaled with a shudder. I havent worked since high school. I loved staying home with our kids. Nateloved coming home to us Tell me about Nate, Chloe said, looking at Wayans. Remembering Claire.
A fat tear rolled down Tanyas cheek and onto the head of her sleeping child. G.o.d, he was a good man. He made me laugh. Something I dont do much these days.
Chloe looked down at her own hands. She wasnt in the Living section anymore. This was life. Real and raw. And exposed. The way it had been for her family fourteen years ago.
Tanyas other two children, a boy and a girl, ran up onto the porch, their fine brown hair plastered to their sweaty faces. Mama, were hungry, the girl said, lowering her voice as Tanya put her finger to her lips and nodded at the sleeping toddler on her lap.
And thirsty, the boy added. Can we have the stuff Mack brought over?
You can each have a juice box. And some string cheese or peanut-b.u.t.ter crackers, but no more cookies, yhear?
Yesm, the two mumbled as they dashed into the house.
Growing kids, Tanya commented. They come with hollow legs.
I wouldnt know, Chloe replied in a near whisper, struggling to stay in the present.
If it wasnt for Mack, Tanya continued, stroking Wayanss hair, I dont know what Id do.
Wh-what about Mack?
Hes always bringing food over. And I know he badgers the staff at the department to give up any clothes their kids have outgrown. When hes off duty, h.e.l.l keep an eye on my four so I can catch my breath. He fixes stuff around the house. He even helps with the bills but I didnt tell him about the rent. I know his paycheck runs thin fast, what with him trying to keep his parents farm afloat.
So Macks a knight in shining armor, Chloe said. Lara Hudson had implied as much, although not kindly.
Tanya offered a wan smile. Mack would hate you saying that, but to me hes been a G.o.dsend, yes. Although Although?
As the mists of the April evening began to rise, a whippoorwills plaintive call trilled in the distance.
Dont get me wrong, Tanya said. I should be the last person to say anything against Mackbut sometimes I worry about his motives.
Chloe leaned forward. How do you mean?
Theres something gnawing at him. Something dark. As friends, he and Nate went back a long way, and Nates death hit him hard. But.i.ts almost as if Mack feels guilty.
Did the army give you any information that would make you think that?
I was told Nate died when an insurgenta suicide bomberentered their tent. Mack was in the shower at the time.
How could an insurgent get that close?
I dont know. And Mack isnt saying.
Survivors guilt is what thats called, Chloe said.
Maybe. b.u.t.this is the bad part. The part that makes me feel guilty. I dont know what I would have done without Macks help, and with him here, theres always a piece of Nate around, buthow can I explain this? Its been a year and a half that Nates been gone, yet somehow Macks brooding keeps me from moving on. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes it nearly suffocates me.
Chloe froze. Years ago shed heard neighbors gossiping. One had claimed that Chloes fixation on her sisters death had nearly destroyed her parents marriage.
I sound like a big ol ingrate, and Im not, Tanya said, waving a gnat away from her sleeping child. But Ive had a lot piled on me today. I guess I needed to unload. Sighing, she ran her fingers through her already tousled hair. On someone who hasnt heard my story over and over.
Chloe rubbed her arms. The nights gone chilly, she said. Id better go.
Her son in her arms, Tanya got up with difficulty. Sometimes I stand in my kids bedroom doorway and watch em sleep. Glad someone can have a worry-free night.
Mama! Hes into the cookies! one of the children called from inside the house.
The young mother sighed. And so it goes.
Chloe held open the screen door for her. The house wasnt much of a shelter, but in ten days Tanya and her family would lose even that.
Just because the process Frank Hudson had followed was legal, did that make it right? And yes, Deputy Whittaker had crossed a line this afternoon, but did that make him wrong?
And what about the concerns Tanya had expressed about Mack, the man?
Chloe had read a lot about post-traumatic stress disorder. Perhaps Mack was suffering from it. Perhaps, too, shed gotten herself in way over her head with this article. Especially since it was dredging up her own past.
Suddenly Chloe didnt want to be alone. Earlier in the day Deputy Hannah Breckinridge had mentioned shed finish her shift at eleven tonight and had wanted to know if Chloe might like to join her for popcorn and a DVD. Although Chloe had never been one to foster gal pals, she headed for department headquarters. Because she wasnt going to get any sleep tonight.
A FTER AN EVENING OF helping his father gather supplies to repair the barn roof, Mack dragged himself back to headquarters with the single thought of a shower and bed. He didnt need to see Chloe sitting in the staff kitchen, laughing with his coworkers about to punch in for the graveyard shift. He rubbed his tired eyes to see if she was a mirage.
Deputy Whittaker, she said.
Are you waiting for me?
No. For Hannah. Breckinridge.
What could he say to that? He stood in the middle of the kitchen and scrutinized her as the other deputies pretended they werent watching.
But now that youre here, Chloe said, I do have a couple requests since my time is running out in Applegate.
Three more days would bring them to Sunday. They were past the halfway point. He should feel better about that than he did. Yes?
I understand surveillance begins on a fake lottery ticket No way. Following anonymous phone-in tips, he was to begin the operation tomorrow night with the graveyard. Youre not in on that.
Why not? Sooner asked. Initial surveillance isnt particularly dangerous. Were just checkin this guy out. It may not lead to anything.
Surveillance is boring as h.e.l.l, Darden chimed in. She can have my shift later in the week if she wants to stick around a few extra days.
Im going to be sitting in an unmarked vehicle all night, Mack protested. And were supposed to have a spring freeze.
Ill wear long underwear, Chloe replied, as if throwing down a gauntlet. Was she still disappointed in him because of the dustup with Frank Hudson? His fellow deputies stood behind her, struggling not to smile.
Up all night, he countered, how do you expect to stay awake your last two days here?
Let me worry about that. There are only two more things I want to see She hesitated as if there might be more. Surveillance and some deputy downtime.
Deputy downtime? Where he was concerned there was no such thing.
Yeah, Darden said, heading for the stairs. Those of us off Sat.u.r.day night are going to see Rollins perform at the Pillar and Post. We checked the schedule, and youre not on duty. Stands to reason, youll be taking Atherton.
Shed said downtime, not date night.
And after spending eight hours alone in a car with her?
He looked at Chloe, who still appeared cool and collected. As if the whole thing was no big deal. Hardly more than a couple of items to check off her a.s.signment list before she headed back towherever it was she lived.
So why was he all hot and bothered?
CHAPTER NINE.
A FTER A SLEEPLESS night filled with doubts and disconcerting thoughts that had sent him to a 6:00 a.m. AA meeting, Mack walked into Garretts office to begin his day. Only to be faced with the object of his disconcerting thoughts.
Chloe.
Sitting at the sheriffs desk, she was pecking away on a laptop, her hair pulled haphazardly into a topknot stuck through with two pencils. Even he could tell that her knitted sweater vest and pants were way out of style. Why did she always wear such off-putting clothes? As if she didnt want anyone getting too close.
What are you doing? he barked.
She continued typing. Im looking up available apartments in the area.
Good G.o.d, she wasnt thinking of moving here, was she?
For Tanya Donahue, she added, looking up at him. When I talked to her last night, she said shed be moving in with her sister. I thought shed be more comfortable with a place of her own. So Im seeing if social services or local charities might offer anything besides communal shelters.
He didnt know what ticked him off more. That this outsider thought Applegate couldnt take care of its own or He slammed the office door. You talked to Tanya?
Tenting her fingers under her chin, Chloe leaned back in Garretts chair and eyed him with a great deal more equanimity than he felt. Yes. You opened that door.
d.a.m.n. He could see needing another AA meeting later in his day.
Did you ever stop to think, she asked, that some media coverage might actually help Tanya?
He saw stars as the beginning of a migraine made his right eye water. If he didnt get some caffeine in him stat, he was in trouble. Did you ever stop to think how publicity could hurt the Donahue family? he snarled.
If youre getting a headache, she said, studying him intently, apply pressure to the site. I get them, too.
Ignoring her adviceher meddlinghe strode around the desk and pushed her chair, with her in it, aside. He remembered the conversation hed overheard between her and Rollins, and used the search engine shed been working with to look up chloe atherton atlanta georgia.
What are you doing? she cried, struggling to regain possession of her laptop.
He didnt answer. Everyone had skeletons in the cybers.p.a.ce closet. Some real. Some specious. The reporter needed to be shown the downside of freewheeling investigation and unsubstantiated reporting.
He scrolled through the offerings that popped on the screen. Were the prominent CDC scientist or the adult-toys retailer or the Emory professor related in any way? And then he came to a listing for an old Atlanta Journal Const.i.tution article. On the death of a toddler. Claire Atherton. The excerpt mentioned a police investigation involving an older sister, Chloe.
No! Chloe tried to push his hand away from the keyboard, but hed already clicked to the full article.
When she saw there was no stopping Mack, Chloe rolled her chair into a very tight spot between a filing cabinet and a coatrack. Her heart pounding in her throat, she drew her knees to her chest. Sat by helplessly as he read the fourteen-year-old article.
She could still feel how bitterly cold it had been that day. See the frozen pond. Hear Claire begging to slide on the ice. Her mother had had a report due. Had asked Chloe to take Claire outside to feed the ducks. But the ducks had flown Feeling sick to her stomach, Chloe buried her face between her knees.
You must face what happened, she heard her mother say. We must all try to move on.
We still love you, her father had insisted.
But Claire was still dead.
This was you? a voice much closer to her asked. Macks voice.
Yes, she whispered into her knees.
But its a 1994 article. This Chloe is twenty-one.
II was twelve. It was a mix-up. My name never should have been printed.
When he didnt say anything else, she looked up. Saw the shallow rise and fall of his breathing. Read accusation on his face.
It was an accident, she offered in weak defense. Although if she hadnt taken her eyes off Claire for those few minutesIf she hadnt suggested hide-and-seek I can see it was a terrible accident, he replied, stepping away from the computer. From her. But what I cant see is why, with this tragedy in your life, you would choose a career of digging up the pain of others.
How could she explain?
Someone knocked on the office door, opening it at the same time. Deputy McMillan stuck his head into the room. Sorry. But another tip just came in on that fake lottery scheme. He handed Mack a slip of paper. Atherton, you dont look so hot. Didnt Whittaker at least offer you a cup of coffee?
Chloe stood on shaking legs. I need air, she said, pushing past the two men.
Outside, she followed the sound of running water to the creek behind headquarters. She stood at the edge of the parking lot by the guardrail, gazing down into the fast-moving stream, still swollen and muddy from the storm two days ago. Her thoughts felt like those waters.
How could she begin to explain the survival techniques, all involving facing reality head-on, that her a.n.a.lytical family had patched together?
She turned to sit on the guardrail and saw Mack walking across the parking lot, her backpack in hand.