Publishedat 13th of October 2019 01:50:12 AM
Chapter 50
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After a long indeterminate moment, Ying Yue finally spoke in a soft voice, " . . . I came here because . . . "
She hesitated for a while before finishing her sentence, " . . . I was scared . . . "
Jun Feng seemed a bit surprised but he concealed it and continued petting her head .
Ying Yue slowly looked in Jun Feng"s eyes, observing that her face was clearly reflected in his dark eyes .
She then looked down again and confessed, " I am scared of losing my humanity . . . What if one day I become a monster . . . ? "
" The way Liliane and Gen Lei were staring at me made me look like a monster, like a horrible human being . . . " Ying Yue sighed as she remembered their scared expression .
" I know it"s not their fault, it"s a normal reaction but . . . I couldn"t help but feel a bit . . . hurt? " Ying Yue said as if she was questioning her own emotions .
" Silly, right? " Ying Yue slightly laughed as she looked at Jun Feng .
Jun Feng"s heart almost broke when he saw his usual cheerful treasure forcing herself to smile even when she clearly felt sad .
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" No, it"s not . " Jun Feng confidently answered while a lump of indescribable feelings grew in the back of his throat .
Hearing this, Ying Yue cast her gaze downwards, " I have no right to feel like this . I am a mafia boss . Someone that kills and that deals with underhand markets . Someone that society doesn"t want . "
" I feel like a monster but at the end of the day, people can only point their fingers up to me and tell me that I deserve this and I should suffer even more . . . " Ying Yue already knew this beforehand but the more she reflected on it, the more she felt disgusted by herself .
Jun Feng"s brows deeply furrowed . He was also a mafia boss and had already thought about this point of view but seeing Ying Yue approach the subject so openly surprised him .
" You know I am 23 almost turning 24 right? " Ying Yue asked .
Jun Feng slightly nodded .
" I must be pretty incredible to control Asia"s mafia at such a young age right? " Ying Yue smirked .
" . . . Hmm . " Jun Feng agreed .
Ying Yue buried her head in Jun Feng"s chest, searching for warmth and comfort, " Well it"s true I am strong and quite intelligent but . . . I"m so weak mentally that I am so easily affected by everything . . . "
Ying Yue sighed, " That"s it, that"s all I wanted to say . "
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Her head popped back up and she pecked Jun Feng"s cheek, " Thank you for listening to all this gloominess! "
Ying Yue softly smiled .
Jun Feng felt his heart squeeze, the suffocating feeling made him uncontrollably sad, " How was she so strong? "
" Stella . " Jun Feng"s low voice resonated in her ear as he pulled her near him .
" The people that can so easily admit their weakness are not weak at all . Only people who refuse to acknowledge their weakness are truly weak . " Jun Feng reasoned .
Jun Feng then connected their forehead together and said, " Furthermore, didn"t you say it yourself? You have reasons to be where you are . Those reasons are the whys you want to be and those reasons also make you strive forward, both are human characteristics . The word "will" is created by humans and belongs to humans in the most emotional way . "
" The way you reach your goal differs from everyone but there is no good without evil . " Jun Feng continued .
" Remember this . You are Ying Yue . The one and only Moon . Whether you are good or evil, the people who care about you will stay because they know what made you choose this path . And most of all, I am also one of the evilest men in the world so it"s now my turn to ask you . "
" Do you think I am a monster? Someone that should die? Someone that doesn"t need to be loved? " Jun Feng questioned in a calm tone .
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" . . . " Ying Yue was left silent for a few seconds before answering, " In other people eyes maybe you are . . . But in my eyes, you will never be . You have the right to live and to be loved . "
" You see? " Jun Feng slightly smiled .
" People can say all they want about us but have they went through what we did? Can they understand our actions? Maybe never but if they want to think that way then let them be . We developed a different way of thinking and it"s not our fault . Who says being different is wrong? " Jun Feng"s hand tightened around Ying Yue"s waist .
" . . . " Ying Yue reflected for a moment and suddenly sucked in cold breath, " . . . What the h.e.l.l did I do to deserve you? "
Hearing that his little devil slowly rebecame herself, Jun Feng smiled and pecked her nose, " That is my line . "
" Oh? So you admit I am gold? " Ying Yue regained her smile .
" No . " Jun Feng immediately replied .
Ying Yue pouted her lips because of his direct answer .
" You are a diamond . " Jun Feng slightly smiled, " Mine only . "
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Ying Yue was left dumbstruck by his flirty att.i.tude and buried her red face in his shoulder, " I already know . . . you devil . . . "
Jun Feng chuckled at her cute reaction and hugged her tightly .
" Stella, I know you have your own life and privacy but I hope that in the future you would rely on me more and would share more of your problems with me . " Jun Feng said in a soft voice .
" . . . Hmm . " Ying Yue answered .
" Also, thank you for telling me . I am very happy that you trust me . " Jun Feng"s cold voice was inexplicably gentle at that moment .
" Your welcome, darling! " Ying Yue turned back to being cheerful and teased her lover by whispering these sweet words in Jun Feng"s ear .
" Seems like you really like to call me that? " Jun Feng"s eyebrow raised .
" Well . . . I feel like it makes you cuter . . . " Ying Yue giggled .
" . . . Cuter? " Jun Feng was dumbfounded and confused .
" How does the way she calls me makes me cuter? " Jun Feng felt his eye twitch .
Seeing his weird expression, Ying Yue smiled satisfied and gave him a kiss on his lips, " Yes! My one and only darling! "
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