FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 206: Professor John Winthrop, died on the 3d of May preceding.]
253. JOHN ADAMS.
Boston, 13 November, 1779.
My dearest Friend,--I have just sent Mr. Thaxter, Johnny, and Stevens, with the things, on board. I shall go with Charles at four o"clock. It is now three. I have seen the captain and the navy board, etc. It is proposed to sail to-morrow; perhaps, however, it may not be till next day.[207] Mr. Dana[208] will come on board at nine to-morrow. Mr.
Hanc.o.c.k has sent me a card to invite me to go on board with him in the castle barge. Don"t make many words of this. Your aunt has given me a barrel of cranberries. I shall make a good use of them, I hope.
Let me entreat you to keep up your spirits and throw off cares as much as possible. Love to Abby and Tommy. We shall yet be happy, I hope, and pray, and I don"t doubt it. I shall have vexations enough, as usual. You will have anxiety and tenderness enough, as usual. Pray strive not to have too much. I will write by every opportunity I can get.
Yours ever, ever yours,
JOHN ADAMS.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 207: Mr. Adams had reached home on the 2d of August, in the _Sensible_. He was now ordered abroad again under a new commission, in the same vessel, then on her return to France. He took two sons with him.]
[Footnote 208: Francis Dana accompanied Mr. Adams as Secretary of Legation.]
254. ABIGAIL ADAMS.
14 November, 1779.
Dearest of Friends,--My habitation, how disconsolate it looks! my table, I sit down to it, but cannot swallow my food! Oh, why was I born with so much sensibility, and why, possessing it, have I so often been called to struggle with it? I wish to see you again. Were I sure you would not be gone, I could not withstand the temptation of coming to town, though my heart would suffer over again the cruel torture of separation.
What a cordial to my dejected spirits were the few lines last night received! And does your heart forebode that we shall again be happy? My hopes and fears rise alternately. I cannot resign more than I do, unless life itself were called for. My dear sons, I cannot think of them without a tear. Little do they know the feelings of a mother"s heart.
May they be good and useful as their father! Then will they in some measure reward the anxiety of a mother. My tenderest love to them.
Remember me also to Mr. Thaxter, whose civilities and kindness I shall miss.
G.o.d Almighty bless and protect my dearest friend, and, in his own time, restore him to the affectionate bosom of
PORTIA.
255. JOHN ADAMS.
At Sea, not far from the Grand Bank of N. F. L., 29 November, 1779.
My dearest Friend,--A brave fellow from Boston, Captain Carr, gives me an opportunity of writing one line, to let you know that we are all very well thus far. Charles behaves quite as well as John, and lies in my room anights. Mr. Dana has been very sick, but is now pretty well. We are now out of all danger of the _Romulus_ and _Virginia_, and I hope have little to fear from the enemy. We have had one storm, which made us all seasick, but brought us on well in our course. I wish I could write to you these two hours, but time fails. Ships cannot wait for each other at sea.
My love to Nabby and Tommy. Tell them to mind their studies. Tell Nabby though she has lost her French master for some time, I hope she will persevere, and perhaps a French mistress in her mamma may do better.
Duty to your father, my mother, brothers, sister, etc., etc. Don"t fail to let me know how the Const.i.tution[209] goes on.
I write this on my knees, and the ship rolls so that I write worse than common.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 209: The Const.i.tution of Ma.s.sachusetts, then in process of construction.]
256. ABIGAIL ADAMS.
10 December, 1779.
I will not omit any opportunity of writing, though ever so great an uncertainty whether it will reach your hand. My uncle Smith has a vessel bound to Calais. He advises me to write, and I most willingly comply, though my faith in the conveyance is but poor. Indeed, I have lost my faith with my spirits.
My friends a.s.sure me from their observations that you must have had a good pa.s.sage. G.o.d grant it, I say, but my fears and anxieties are many, very many. I had a faith and reliance that supported me before, but now my heart so misgives me that I cannot find that confidence which I wish for. Your letter from Cape Ann arrived and cheered my drooping spirits.
Could I hear of your safe arrival, I would try to compose my agitated mind, which has horrors both day and night.
My dear sons! Little do they know how many veins of their mother"s heart bled when she parted from them. My delicate Charles, how has he endured the fatigue of his voyage? John is a hardy sailor, seasoned before. I do not feel so much for him. Your fellow-travellers, too, I do not forget to think of them. I will not wish myself with you, because you say a lady cannot help being an odious creature at sea; and I will not wish myself in any situation that should make me so to you.
Nothing new in the political way but the raising the siege of Savannah[210] and being unfortunate. You will have particulars, no doubt. Our friends are all well. Mr. Laurens is appointed to Holland--has not yet given his answer. Adieu. Ever, ever yours,
PORTIA.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 210: By the joint forces of America and France. Stedman"s _American War_, Vol. II. p. 132.]
257. JOHN ADAMS.
Ferrol, 11 December, 1779.
My dearest Friend,--We have had an escape again,[211] but are arrived safely in Spain. As the frigate will probably not get from this place these two months, I must go by land to Paris, which I suppose is a journey of between three and four hundred leagues. That part of it which is in Spain is very mountainous. No post, bad roads, bad taverns, and very dear. We must ride mules, horses not being to be had. I must get some kind of carriage for the children, if possible. They are very well.
Charles has sustained the voyage and behaves as well as ever his brother did. He is much pleased with what he sees. Sammy Cooper, too, is very well. These young gentlemen give me a vast deal of trouble in this unexpected journey. I have bought a dictionary and grammar, and they are learning the Spanish language as fast as possible. What could we do, if you and all the family were with me?
Ferrol is a magnificent port and harbor. It is fortified by nature by rows of lofty rocky mountains on each side the narrow entrance of it, and the public works, the fortifications, barracks, a.r.s.enals, etc., which are of stone very like Braintree stone, exceed anything I have seen. I dined the day before yesterday with Don Joseph Saint Vincent, the Lieutenant-general of the Marine, who is the commandant of this port, with four-and-twenty French and Spanish officers. The difference between gravity and gayety was an amusing speculation. Yesterday I dined on board the _Triomphant_, an eighty-gun French ship, commanded by the Chef d"Escadre, M. Sade, and have engagements for every day for a much longer time than I shall stay. The French consul and vice-consul have been particularly polite and obliging to me. In short, I never was better pleased with a reception at any place.