Fantastic Mr Fox

Chapter 2

10.

Boggis"s Chicken House Number One "This time we must go in a very special direction," said Mr Fox, pointing sideways and downward.

So he and his four children started to dig once again. The work went much more slowly now. Yet they kept at it with great courage, and little by little the tunnel began to grow.

"Dad, I wish you would tell us where where we are going," said one of the children. we are going," said one of the children.

"I dare not do that," said Mr Fox, "because this place I am hoping hoping to get to is so to get to is so marvellous marvellous that if I described it to you now you would go crazy with excitement. And then, if we failed to get there (which is very possible), you would die of disappointment. I don"t want to raise your hopes too much, my darlings." that if I described it to you now you would go crazy with excitement. And then, if we failed to get there (which is very possible), you would die of disappointment. I don"t want to raise your hopes too much, my darlings."



For a long long time they kept on digging. For how long they did not know, because there were no days and no nights down there in the murky tunnel. But at last Mr Fox gave the order to stop. "I think," he said, "we had better take a peep upstairs now and see where we are. I know where I want want to be, but I can"t possibly be sure we"re anywhere near it." to be, but I can"t possibly be sure we"re anywhere near it."

Slowly, wearily, the foxes began to slope the tunnel up towards the surface. Up and up it went... until suddenly they came to something hard above their heads and they couldn"t go up any further. Mr Fox reached up to examine this hard thing. "It"s wood!" he whispered. "Wooden planks!"

"What does that mean, Dad?"

"It means, unless I am very much mistaken, that we are right underneath somebody"s house," whispered Mr Fox. "Be very quiet now while I take a peek."

Carefully, Mr Fox began pushing up one of the floorboards. The board creaked most terribly and they all ducked down, waiting for something awful to happen. Nothing did. So Mr Fox pushed up a second board. And then, very very cautiously, he poked his head up through the gap. He let out a shriek of excitement.

"I"ve done it!" he yelled. "I"ve done it first time it first time! I"ve done it! I"ve done it! I"ve done it! I"ve done it!" He pulled himself up through the gap in the floor and started prancing and dancing with joy. "Come on up!" he sang out. "Come up and see where you are, my darlings! What a sight for a hungry fox! Hallelujah! Hooray! Hooray!"

The four Small Foxes scrambled up out of the tunnel and what a fantastic sight it was that now met their eyes! They were in a huge shed and the whole place was teeming with chickens. There were white chickens and brown chickens and black chickens by the thousand!

"Boggis"s Chicken House Number One!" cried Mr Fox. "It"s exactly what I was aiming at! I hit it slap in the middle! First time! Isn"t that fantastic! And, And, if I may say so, rather clever!" if I may say so, rather clever!"

The Small Foxes went wild with excitement. They started running around in all directions, chasing the stupid chickens.

"Wait!" ordered Mr Fox. "Don"t lose your heads! Stand back! Calm down! Let"s do this properly! First of all, everyone have a drink of water!"

They all ran over to the chickens" drinking-trough and lapped up the lovely cool water. Then Mr Fox chose three of the plumpest hens, and with a clever flick of his jaws he killed them instantly.

"Back to the tunnel!" he ordered. "Come on! No fooling around! The quicker you move, the quicker you shall have something to eat!"

One after another, they climbed down through the hole in the floor and soon they were all standing once again in the dark tunnel. Mr Fox reached up and pulled the floorboards back into place. He did this with great care. He did it so that no one could tell they had ever been moved.

"My son," he said, giving the three plump hens to the biggest of his four small children, "run back with these to your mother. Tell her to prepare a feast. Tell her the rest of us will be along in a jiffy, as soon as we have made a few other little arrangements."

11.

A Surprise for Mrs Fox The Small Fox ran back along the tunnel as fast as he could, carrying the three plump hens. He was exploding with joy. "Just wait!" he kept thinking. "Just wait till Mummy sees these!" He had a long way to run but he never stopped once on the way and he came bursting in upon Mrs Fox. "Mummy!" he cried, out of breath. "Look, Mummy, look! Wake up and see what I"ve brought you!"

Mrs Fox, who was weaker than ever now from lack of food, opened one eye and looked at the hens. "I"m dreaming," she murmured and closed the eye again.

"You"re not dreaming, Mummy! They"re real chickens! We"re saved! We"re not going to starve!"

Mrs Fox opened both eyes and sat up quickly. "But, my dear dear child!" she cried. "Where on earth...?" child!" she cried. "Where on earth...?"

"Boggis"s Chicken House Number One!" spluttered the Small Fox. "We tunnelled right up under the floor and you"ve never seen so many big fat hens in all your life! And Dad said to prepare a feast! They"ll be back soon!"

The sight of food seemed to give new strength to Mrs Fox. "A feast it shall be!" she said, standing up. "Oh, what a fantastic fox your father is! Hurry up, child, and start plucking those chickens!"

Far away down in the tunnel, the fantastic Mr Fox was saying, "Now for the next bit, my darlings! This one"ll be as easy as pie! All we have to do is dig another little tunnel from here here to there!" to there!"

"To where, Dad?"

"Don"t ask so many questions. Start digging!"

12.

Badger Mr Fox and the three remaining Small Foxes dug fast and straight. They were all too excited now to feel tired or hungry. They knew they were going to have a whacking great feast before long and the fact that it was none other than Boggis"s chickens they were going to eat made them churgle with laughter every time they thought of it. It was lovely to realize that while the fat farmer was sitting up there on the hill waiting for them to starve, he was also giving them their dinner without knowing it. "Keep digging," said Mr Fox. "It"s not much further."

All of a sudden a deep voice above their heads said, "Who goes there?" The foxes jumped. They looked up quickly and they saw, peeking through a small hole in the roof of the tunnel, a long black pointed furry face.

"Badger!" cried Mr Fox.

"Foxy!" cried Badger. "My goodness me, I"m glad I"ve found someone someone at last! I"ve been digging around in circles for three days and nights and I haven"t the foggiest idea where I am!" at last! I"ve been digging around in circles for three days and nights and I haven"t the foggiest idea where I am!"

Badger made the hole in the ceiling bigger and dropped down beside the foxes. A Small Badger (his son) dropped down after him. "Haven"t you heard heard what"s happening up on the hill?" Badger said excitedly. "It"s chaos! Half the wood has disappeared and there are men with guns all over the countryside! None of us can get out, even at night! We"re all starving to death!" what"s happening up on the hill?" Badger said excitedly. "It"s chaos! Half the wood has disappeared and there are men with guns all over the countryside! None of us can get out, even at night! We"re all starving to death!"

"Who is we we?" asked Mr Fox.

"All us diggers. That"s me and Mole and Rabbit and all our wives and children. Even Weasel, who can usually sneak out of the tightest spots, is right now hiding down my hole with Mrs Weasel and six kids. What on earth are we going to do, Foxy? I think we"re finished!"

Mr Fox looked at his three children and he smiled. The children smiled back at him, sharing his secret. "My dear old Badger," he said, "this mess you"re in is all my fault..."

"I know know it"s your fault!" said Badger furiously. "And the farmers are not going to give up till they"ve got you. Unfortunately, that means it"s your fault!" said Badger furiously. "And the farmers are not going to give up till they"ve got you. Unfortunately, that means us us as well. It means everyone on the hill." Badger sat down and put a paw around his small son. "We"re done for," he said softly. "My poor wife up there is so weak she can"t dig another yard." as well. It means everyone on the hill." Badger sat down and put a paw around his small son. "We"re done for," he said softly. "My poor wife up there is so weak she can"t dig another yard."

"Nor can mine," said Mr Fox. "And yet at this very minute she is preparing for me and my children the most delicious feast of plump juicy chickens..."

"Stop!" cried Badger. "Don"t tease me! I can"t stand it!"

"It"s true!" cried the Small Foxes. "Dad"s not teasing! We"ve got chickens galore!"

"And because everything is entirely my fault," said Mr Fox, "I invite you to share the feast. I invite everyone everyone to share it you and Mole and Rabbit and Weasel and all your wives and children. There"ll be plenty to go round, I can a.s.sure you." to share it you and Mole and Rabbit and Weasel and all your wives and children. There"ll be plenty to go round, I can a.s.sure you."

"You mean it?" cried Badger. "You really mean really mean it?" it?"

Mr Fox pushed his face close to Badger"s and whispered darkly, "Do you know where we"ve just been?" where we"ve just been?"

"Where?"

"Right inside Boggis"s Chicken House Number One!"

"No!"

"Yes! But that is nothing to where we are going now. You have come just at the right moment, my dear Badger. You can help us dig. And in the meanwhile, your small son can run back to Mrs Badger and all the others and spread the good news." Mr Fox turned to the Small Badger and said, "Tell them they are invited to a Fox"s Feast. Then bring them all down here and follow this tunnel back until you find my home!"

"Yes, Mr Fox!" said the Small Badger. "Yes, sir! Right away, sir! Oh, thank you, sir!" and he scrambled quickly back through the hole in the roof of the tunnel and disappeared.

13.

Bunce"s Giant Storehouse "My dear Foxy!" cried Badger. "What in the world has happened to your tail?"

"Don"t talk about it, please, please," said Mr Fox. "It"s a painful subject."

They were digging the new tunnel. They dug on in silence. Badger was a great digger and the tunnel went forward at a terrific pace now that he was lending a paw. Soon they were crouching underneath yet another wooden floor.

Mr Fox grinned slyly, showing sharp white teeth. "If I am not mistaken, my dear Badger," he said, "we are now underneath the farm which belongs to that nasty little pot-bellied dwarf, Bunce. We are, in fact, directly underneath the most interesting part interesting part of that farm." of that farm."

"Ducks and geese!" cried the Small Foxes, licking their lips. "Juicy tender ducks and big fat geese!"

"Ex-actly!" said Mr Fox.

"But how in the world can you know where we are?" asked Badger.

Mr Fox grinned again, showing even more white teeth. "Look," he said, "I know my way around these farms blindfold. For me it"s just as easy below ground as it is above it." He reached high and pushed up one wooden floorboard, then another. He poked his head through the gap.

"Yes!" he shouted, jumping up into the room above. "I"ve done it again! I"ve hit it smack on the nose! Right in the bull"s-eye! Come and look!"

Quickly Badger and the three Small Foxes scrambled up after him. They stopped and stared. They stood and gaped. They were so overwhelmed they couldn"t speak; for what they now saw was a kind of fox"s dream, a badger"s dream, a paradise for hungry animals.

"This, my dear old Badger," proclaimed Mr Fox, "is Bunce"s Mighty Storehouse! All his finest stuff is stored in here before he sends it off to market."

Against all the four walls of the great room, stacked in cupboards and piled upon shelves reaching from floor to ceiling, were thousands and thousands of the finest and fattest ducks and geese, plucked and ready for roasting! And up above, dangling from the rafters, there must have been at least a hundred smoked hams and fifty sides of bacon!

"Just feast your eyes on that that!" cried Mr Fox, dancing up and down. "What d"you think of it, eh? Pretty good grub!"

Suddenly, as though springs had been released in their legs, the three hungry Small Foxes and the ravenously hungry Badger sprang forward to grab the luscious food.

"Stop!" ordered Mr Fox. "This is my my party, so I shall do the choosing." The others fell back, licking their chops. Mr Fox began prowling around the storehouse examining the glorious display with an expert eye. A thread of saliva slid down one side of his jaw and hung suspended in mid-air, then snapped. party, so I shall do the choosing." The others fell back, licking their chops. Mr Fox began prowling around the storehouse examining the glorious display with an expert eye. A thread of saliva slid down one side of his jaw and hung suspended in mid-air, then snapped.

"We mustn"t overdo it," he said. "Mustn"t give the game away. Mustn"t let them know what we"ve been up to. We must be neat and tidy and take just a few of the choicest morsels. So, to start with we shall have four plump young ducks." He took them from the shelf. "Oh, how lovely and fat they are! No wonder Bunce gets a special price for them in the market!... All right, Badger, lend me a hand to get them down... You children can help as well... There we go... Goodness me, look how your mouths are watering... And now... I think we had better have a few geese... Three will be quite enough... We"ll take the biggest... Oh my, oh my, you"ll never see finer geese than these in a king"s kitchen... Gently does it... that"s the way... And what about a couple of nice smoked hams... I adore smoked ham, don"t you, Badger?... Fetch me that step-ladder, will you please..."

Mr Fox climbed up the ladder and handed down three magnificent hams. "And do you like bacon, Badger?"

"I"m mad about bacon!" cried Badger, dancing with excitement. "Let"s have a side of bacon! That big one up there!"

"And carrots, Dad!" said the smallest of the three Small Foxes. "We must take some of those carrots."

"Don"t be a twerp," said Mr Fox. "You know we never eat things like that."

"It"s not for us, Dad. It"s for the Rabbits. They only eat vegetables."

"My goodness me, you"re right!" cried Mr Fox. "What a thoughtful little fellow you are! Take ten bunches of carrots!"

Soon, all this lovely loot was lying in a neat heap upon the floor. The Small Foxes crouched close, their noses twitching, their eyes shining like stars.

"And now," said Mr Fox, "we shall have to borrow from our friend Bunce two of those useful pushcarts over in the corner." He and Badger fetched the push-carts, and the ducks and geese and hams and bacon were loaded on to them. Quickly the push-carts were lowered through the hole in the floor. The animals slid down after them. Back in the tunnel, Mr Fox again pulled the floorboards very carefully into place so that no one could see they had been moved.

"My darlings," he said, pointing to two of the three Small Foxes, "take a cart each and run back as fast as you can to your mother. Give her my love and tell her we are having guests for dinner the Badgers, the Moles, the Rabbits and the Weasels. Tell her it must be a truly great feast. And tell her the rest of us will be home as soon as we"ve done one more little job."

"Yes, Dad! Right away, Dad!" they answered, and they grabbed a trolley each and went rushing off down the tunnel.

14.

Badger Has Doubts "Just one more visit!" cried Mr Fox.

"And I"ll bet I know where that"ll be," said the only Small Fox now left. He was the Smallest Fox of them all.

"Where?" asked Badger.

"Well," said the Smallest Fox. "We"ve been to Boggis and we"ve been to Bunce but we haven"t been to Bean. It must be Bean."

"You are right," said Mr Fox. "But what you don"t know is which part part of Bean"s place we are about to visit." of Bean"s place we are about to visit."

"Which?" they said both together.

"Ah-ha," said Mr Fox. "Just you wait and see." They were digging as they talked. The tunnel was going forward fast.

Suddenly Badger said, "Doesn"t this worry you just a tiny bit, Foxy?"

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