As elated as he was that this scene was what it was rather than what he feared it would be, with her eyes on his mouth, he knew it had to end and it had to end immediately or they would not be to their sleigh for hours.
Tonight, after they talked, they would take time getting to know each other without adela tea.
Now, unfortunately, they had to be on their way.
"We must be away, my dove," he reminded her.
She lifted her gaze to his.
"Okeydokey."
And at that word, Apollo knew all was well and again, he smiled.
Chapter Ten.
How He Treasured It I felt warm and cozy, except my nose, which was cold but there was something tickling it. I also felt motion all around me. Finally, the sun bright against my eyelids slid through my burgeoning consciousness and for a second, things didn"t seem right.
Then I remembered.
I was out in the cold elements of Lunwyn in a sleigh with Apollo.
More precisely, I was in Apollo"s sleigh with Apollo, a huge fur blanket over our laps, wrapped up tight in my cloak (the same one as yesterday; after my emotional upheavals of the morning, I didn"t have it in me to dig out one that matched my outfit better-and by the way, I had four). I was snuggled up to Apollo, my arm resting across his stomach, my cheek to his chest and what was tickling my nose was the fur inside his cloak.
Oh G.o.d.
I was snuggled up to Apollo.
c.r.a.p.
I didn"t move or open my eyes. Instead, I faked still sleeping.
I did this because I couldn"t face him, not yet. I had to get my s.h.i.t together before I attempted that.
He"d been cool this morning, actually really sweet and very understanding. I"d spent the time since he left the room torturing myself about what I"d done, but the way he acted, the things he said totally made me feel better.
About that.
But this did not negate the fact that he"d been kind to me (in his way) since I"d gotten there and I"d been a b.i.t.c.h to him.
And it definitely did not negate the fact that last night I"d f.u.c.ked his brains out, he"d f.u.c.ked my brains out and this all commenced when I threw myself at him.
It was clear this all came about because I drank that tea.
But still.
It was embarra.s.sing.
He, however, seemed not to have a problem with this. Not at all. It was almost like it didn"t happen. Then again, men could often separate life from s.e.x. It happened, you moved on. And maybe some women could too.
But I couldn"t.
And definitely not what we did last night.
G.o.d, I burned with humiliation just thinking about it.
I"d had one lover before Pol. And then there was Pol and he was good in bed, actually great. We never had a problem with that. In fact, that was one of the reasons why, in the beginning, I held on to hope. If he could be that generous, and sometimes even sweet and tender in bed, I thought he could, and would, eventually bring that into our everyday lives.
I"d even talked to him about it. Until I did it too often, it started to annoy him, and for obvious reasons I did my best not to annoy Pol. So I quit.
But he took care of me every time, and once, the time I liked to think was when we created our daughter, he took care of me twice in one go.
That was, he took care of me until I started having to fake it because I couldn"t stand his hands on me and if he knew that, that would really annoy him.
However, I"d never had anything like what I had with Apollo last night. The hunger. The heat.
The freedom.
I didn"t think of anything I did. I wasn"t in my head at all. I just went for it.
Actually, the truth of it was, Apollo led it and I went along for the ride, totally about him and what he was doing to my body. No hang ups. Nothing but him and me and what I could make him feel and what he was making me feel.
I"d done things with him I"d never done with Pol, never even considered doing with anybody.
At the time, I didn"t care.
Now, it mortified me.
Because I barely knew him.
I didn"t know about the s.e.xual strictures on this world but considering women still covered their ankles, I really, really hoped he understood all about whatever that tea was so he didn"t think I was a big floozy.
"Maddie, are you awake?"
I made a mental note that I sucked at fake sleeping and realized the heaviness around my back was his arm holding me to him when it tightened.
"Poppy, you"ve stirred. Are you awake?"
"Yeah," I muttered.
"Come here, dove," he muttered back and I didn"t know how much more "here" I could get but I still shifted up, tipped my head back and gave him my eyes.
He looked down at me with tenderness in his.
I"d seen that before but it had been so long, and it was so beautiful, I felt my breath leave my lungs.
"How are you feeling?" he asked gently.
The truth of it was, I ached and I was still kind of fatigued. f.u.c.king someone"s brains out took it out of you.
I didn"t share that.
"Fine," I told him.
"Are you hungry?" he inquired.
I was. I didn"t have breakfast. I mean, it was served to me but I didn"t eat it.
"I could eat," I answered.
"Good," he murmured and looked ahead.
I did too, again realizing that his arm was around my back and it hadn"t moved. He was still holding me to him and doing it in a way that he wasn"t going to let go.
I decided this likely had to do with the fact that cuddling together was a whole lot warmer than sitting apart.
We were riding through pines that were set far apart but he steered the horses closer to one and he did this speaking.
"I"ll take care of the horses. You unpack the sandwiches, yes?"
"Okeydokey," I mumbled and his arm gave me a squeeze and didn"t let go so I was fit more snuggly to his body.
Okay.
What?
He pulled back on the reins and the horses stopped. Taking me with him, he leaned forward and draped them on a hook in front of us then turned to me, still holding me close.
I looked up at him just in time for his gloved hand to cup my jaw and his head to descend. He brushed his lips against my parted-in-surprise ones and murmured, "I"ll be back."
He lifted up to kiss my forehead and moved out from under the fur to leave the sleigh.
Okay.
What?
Right, well, he"d been way cool this morning, holding me and comforting me while I cried and freaked out. He"d also been solicitous as we left the inn, offering his arm, pulling me close when I took it and wrapping his hand over mine at his elbow, walking that way the whole way through the inn and out of it as he walked me to the sleigh. I made not a peep when I saw both the horses. .h.i.tched to it and I still didn"t when he climbed into the sleigh with me.
We took off, and our wild-a.s.s s.e.x-a-thon, no sleep and my crying jag all crashed into me and I was out within fifteen minutes of our being on our way.
Now was now and he wasn"t being way cool.
He was being way sweet.
And affectionate.
Way affectionate.
He"d gone to the back of the sleigh and I watched him move to the front, feedbags for the horses in his hands and decided I better hop to it because he"d be back soon and expecting his sandwich.
So I bent to the corner of the sleigh where there was a basket from which Apollo had produced our lunch yesterday. As I did that, I saw something out of the corner of my eye.
I looked over the side of the sleigh and saw a cute bunny with gray fur and a white tail hopping to the sleigh.
He was so adorable, I stopped and smiled.
He stopped, lifted up on his hind feet and made a bunch of noises.
He made a bunch of noises but in my head, I heard, "Lady, you have any lettuce?"
I went still and stared at the bunny.
He looked to the right then back at me and made more noises.
But in my head, I heard. "Lady, I asked, do you have any lettuce?"
"Is that bunny talking to me?" I breathed to no one.
Except, of course, the bunny.
He made more noises, a lot of them, but in my head I heard, "Of course I"m talking to you. Who else would I be talking to? Now, do you have any lettuce?"
"Oh my G.o.d," I whispered then shot to my feet, turned and ran out of the sleigh, into the snow, pa.s.sing Apollo who was coming back.
"Maddie, what"s amiss?" he called.
But I kept running, with difficulty seeing as the snow was halfway up my calves. Still, I kept doing it mainly because a freaking bunny was talking in my head.
"Madeleine!" Apollo shouted.
I kept on running.
Then I stopped because an arm flashed around my middle and I was yanked back into a hard body.
"Maddie, what did you see?" Apollo demanded to know, his mouth at my ear and he was dragging me back to the sleigh.
I didn"t want to go to the sleigh. The cute little bunny who could speak in my mind was at that sleigh.
So I pushed at his arm, struggling against his hold as he kept dragging me.
He stopped and I went with him as he bent into the sleigh for something.