Arguably even more huge.
Because where did you go from there?
And yes, I loved Apollo. I fell for him the instant he"d looked at me, his eyes filled with tenderness and pain. I knew this because alone at night (and also when I was alone during the day), when I wasn"t worrying or being p.i.s.sed, I ran over every moment we"d shared in my head.
In doing this, I knew that a man who could look like that was a man who could feel anything, everything, and do it deeply, completely, magnificently.
Pretty much everything he"d done since had proved this irrevocably. Including (it sucked to admit, but it was true) how he expressed anger (though, that part wasn"t magnificent).
On this thought, my attention came back into the room when I saw Zahnin walk past the windows, his head turned to look out into the glade.
Lahn was at Karsvall, holed up with Apollo, Frey, Valentine and the other witch I"d only met in pa.s.sing (but who, unlike Valentine, was really sweet). Her name was Lavinia.
Circe and Finnie had come with Zahnin and Bain since Circe didn"t move a muscle unless Lahn was at her side.
Or her guard was.
That was super sweet too.
"The cave was like nothing I"d ever seen," she said, taking me out of my thoughts, and I looked from Zahnin to her. "I mean, it glittered. Not like the stone it was made of had anything in it that sparkled. I don"t know how to describe it, except it was magic."
"I so have to go there when all this business is finally done," Finnie declared.
"You so do. It was freaking amazing," Circe agreed.
"So, you just walked into the fountain in the cave and, poof, magic restored?" Loretta asked, her wide excited eyes on Circe.
"You"re supposed to go every day for five days and walk in naked the instant the sun sets on the horizon, which isn"t easy to time since you"re in a cave and can"t actually see the sun setting on the horizon. Luckily, Lahn has a good internal clock. Also luckily, it only took me three days and on day three"-she shrugged-"I just filled up."
"Could you feel it?" Loretta queried.
Circe"s eyes got kind of dreamy in this s.e.xy way that laid even more testimony as to why she caught a hot guy the likes of Dax Lahn.
Then she whispered, "Oh yeah. I could feel it."
Just the way she looked and spoke gave me a tingle in a private place which sucked because it made me miss Apollo even more.
And thus be even more p.i.s.sed at him.
"It seems strange," Meeta put in, "that you could do something so vital, so important as filling up your magic simply by wandering into a pool."
Circe looked to her. "I guess so. Of course, we had to solve five riddles every day then face five trials and each day they were different riddles and trials. We had to do this to make it through the interconnecting caves that led to the pool and the route was different each day. Then we had to leave the caves and start all over again the next day. Luckily, we only had to do that for three days rather than the full five."
She looked through the room but kept speaking.
"The place had tons of skeletons of those who"d failed to solve the riddles, or failed at the trials. And there were a couple of fresh kills that were unpleasant. Then, of course, Lahn almost got his head chopped off once, but"-she grinned-"I knew my man would prevail."
My mouth had dropped open and I still hadn"t closed it when Loretta breathed, "He almost got his head chopped off?"
"We failed at that riddle the first time and these skeletons with swords came to life. He battled them." Another grin. "He won."
"Holy cow," I whispered.
"I know, it was awesome," she replied. "You would think I"d get used to how awesome he is, but I haven"t."
I had a feeling I wouldn"t either.
It was at this point I caught something out of the corner of my eye and looked back to the windows to see both Bain and Zahnin were standing out in the snow, their eyes turned to my front door.
I was getting a lot of visitors these days, Finnie, Circe, elan.
But it was early afternoon. elan would be at her studies and Finnie and Circe were already there.
So I tensed when I heard the front door open, thinking maybe it was Apollo finally coming to call and wondering what I"d do if it was.
I soon found it wasn"t.
It also wasn"t Valentine or Lavinia, who the men at the main house were hogging. I hadn"t even said word one to Valentine while she"d been there.
No.
It was Hans.
A Hans who only had eyes for Loretta.
My gaze shot to Meeta.
She looked to me and shook her head as if the Hans and Loretta situation was working her last nerve, she wanted them to end the drama and just get it on.
It wasn"t working mine. It was something to keep my mind off my own situation.
I wanted Loretta to be happy, but I was proud of her. She"d crushed huge on Hans for a good long while. Now she had him and she was making him work for it.
As she should.
As he should.
I just had no idea how it would play out because she seriously was making him work for it and I knew Hans but I had no clue if he"d give up or fight until he got what he wanted.
I hoped it was the latter because Loretta was worth it.
I looked back to Hans when he spoke.
"Our talk was interrupted yesterday," he stated, eyes still pinned to Loretta and he was speaking like she was the only one in the room. "I wish to finish that discussion now."
I looked to Loretta when she replied with fake sweetness, "Oh, were we having a discussion?"
I looked back to Hans when he returned, "Indeed, we were."
Back to Loretta when she retorted, "Funny, I thought a discussion was when two people were talking. There were two people there, but only one of us was speaking. And that was you."
I pressed my lips together and turned back to Hans, who did not look happy when he shot back, "Right, then I still have things to say and this time, you can use your mouth, but only after I say them and when I finish, you won"t be using it to speak."
Yowza!
My eyebrows darted up even as I pressed my lips tighter together and I cut my eyes back to Loretta to see her cheeks pink with anger, or embarra.s.sment, or both.
"This would be why we aren"t talking now or ever," she flashed sharply in return.
Back again to Hans when ignored this and ordered, "Hand the child to Queen Circe and come."
Again my gaze went to Loretta when she snapped, "I think not!"
"Woman," Hans growled impatiently.
"Man," Loretta bit out irritably.
That was it for Hans. I knew it when he strode forward purposefully, carefully gathered Isis from Loretta"s arms, twisted to deposit her in Circe"s, then he caught Loretta"s hand. He yanked her out of the couch and dragged her from the room.
I watched, turning my neck to look over my shoulder and catch it all before I turned back to the room.
All the women were looking at each other silently with knowing eyes.
Except Meeta.
She had knowing eyes but she was not silent.
Cuddling Viktor closer, she noted blandly, "It"s my feeling that you females who allow yourselves to be caught by these overbearing men are quite mad."
"And when was the last time you got yourself some?" I asked and she looked to me.
"Got myself some?" she queried on her brows rising elegantly.
"Were bedded," I explained in this world language.
"Last night," she declared. "Ruben. That was seven nights in a row. He"s an exceptional lover. By far the best I"ve ever had. He"s especially talented with his fingers. He does things with his fingers I didn"t even know were possible and I"m not inexperienced."
"I didn"t need to know that," Finnie muttered.
I looked to Circe to see her smiling at Finnie.
I didn"t smile. Not because it wasn"t funny, but because these days, I didn"t feel like smiling.
My eyes drifted back to the windows and I saw no Zahnin or Bain.
I saw nothing but forest and trees.
As simple as the view was, it still was beautiful.
Even with that beauty, looking at it, it hit me that with all that we had in my world, traffic and malls and TV, even with the way my life had been there, it was still simpler than my life here.
I had one goal, stay away from Pol.
I couldn"t say I was happy doing it.
I could say I had a mission. I had a purpose. I had something to do.
I didn"t have much of a life and I wasn"t content.
But I had a reason for being. It wasn"t a great reason but it was something.
Now, with all I had, these last two days I was reminded that I was still at Apollo"s mercy.
He gave me everything.
And when he felt like it, he took it all away.
I heard the front door open and again went tense.
And again it wasn"t Apollo.
It was Lahn.
The sitting room wasn"t small, it also wasn"t large and there were a number of women in it. Still, the instant he walked in, the room seemed overfull, not only from his big man body but also the sheer force of his presence.
Like Hans, he only had eyes for his woman.
Unlike Hans, once his eyes moved over his queen they dropped to his daughter. Without delay, he strode to Circe, divested her of her baby burden and curled his girl into his arms.
Okay, no way he"d look better with a kitten.
True, he"d look hot cradling a kitten.
But the way he held his girl and looked down on her with unconcealed devotion in his fierce features, no kitten could top that, no matter how cute it was.
Once he"s showered silent adoration on his now sleeping daughter with four women raptly watching him do it (yes, even matter-of-fact Meeta, and as a Maroovian who were sworn enemies of Korwahk, that laid testimony to just how awesome Lahn was), he looked to me.
"A young female at Karsvall approached me prior to my leaving. She requests your attendance at a party in her chambers. I told her I"d have Zahnin bring you to her. He"s waiting outside to take you there."
Only elan would walk up to a huge-a.s.s warrior and tell him to ask someone to one of her tea parties.
On that thought, I did smile. It was genuine, but it was small.
"It seems I"ve been summoned," I murmured as I got to my feet. Once up, I looked around the a.s.semblage. "I hope you don"t mind."
"Go," Finnie said on a grin.
"Tell her I want an invitation next time," Circe added, reaching out her arms so I could hand Tunahn to her.