"Depend on it, Bill. Wherever Man has ma.s.s and energy to work with and enough savvy to know how to manipulate them, he can create any environment he needs."
I didn"t see much of Duck after that. About then we got our preliminary notices to take tests for eligibility for the Ganymede colony and that had us pretty busy. Besides, Duck seemed different-or maybe it was me. I had the trip on my mind and he didn"t want to talk about it. Or if he did, he"d make some crack that rubbed me the wrong way.
Dad wouldn"t let me quit school while it was still uncertain as to whether or not we would qualify, but I was out a lot, taking tests. There was the usual physical examination, of course, with some added wrinkles. A g test, for example-I could take up to eight gravities before I blacked out, the test showed. And a test for low-pressure tolerance and hemorrhaging-they didn"t want people who ran to red noses and varicose veins. There were lots more.
But we pa.s.sed them. Then came the psycho tests which were a lot worse because you never knew what was expected of you and half the time you didn"t even know you were being tested. It started off with hypno-a.n.a.lysis, which really puts a fellow at a disadvantage. How do you know what you"ve blabbed while they"ve got you asleep?
Once I sat around endlessly waiting for a psychiatrist to get around to seeing me. There were a couple of clerks there; when I came in one of them dug my medical and psycho record out of file and laid it on a desk. Then the other one, a red-headed guy with a permanent sneer, said, "Okay, Shorty, sit down on that bench and wait."
After quite a while the redhead picked up my folder and started to read it. Presently he snickered and turned to the other clerk and said, "Hey, Ned-get a load of this!"
The other one read what he was pointing to and seemed to think it was funny, too. I could see they were watching me and I pretended not to pay any attention.
The second clerk went back to his desk, but presently the redhead went over to him, carrying my folder, and read aloud to him, but in such a low voice that I couldn"t catch many of the words. What I did catch made me squirm.
When he had finished the redhead looked right at me and laughed. I stood up and said, "What"s so funny?"
He said, "None of your business, Shorty. Sit down."
I walked over and said, "Let me see that."
The second clerk stuffed it into a drawer of his desk. The redhead said, "Mamma"s boy wants to see it, Ned. Why don"t you give it to him?"
"He doesn"t really want to see it," the other one said.
"No, I guess not." The redhead laughed again and added, "And to think he wants to be a big bold colonist."
The other one looked at me while chewing a thumbnail and said, "I don"t think that"s so funny. They could take him along to cook."
This seemed to convulse the redhead. "Ill bet he looks cute in an ap.r.o.n."
A year earlier I would have poked him, even though he outweighed me and outreached me. That "Mamma"s boy" remark made me forget all about wanting to go to Ganymede; I just wanted to wipe the silly smirk off his face.
But I didn"t do anything. I don"t know why; maybe it was from riding herd on that wild bunch of galoots, the Yucca Patrol-Mr. Kinski says that anybody who can"t keep order without using his fists can"t be a patrol leader under him.
Anyhow I just walked around the end of the desk and tried to open the drawer. It was locked. I looked at them; they were both grinning, but I wasn"t. "I had an appointment for thirteen o"clock," I said. "Since the doctor isn"t here, you can tell him I"ll phone for another appointment." And I turned on my heel and left I went home and told George about it. He just said he hoped I hadn"t hurt my chances.
I never did get another appointment. You know what? They weren"t clerks at all; they were psycho-metricians and there was a camera and a mike on me the whole time.
Finally George and I got notices saying that we were qualified and had been posted for the Mayflower, Mayflower, "subject to compliance with all requirements." "subject to compliance with all requirements."
That night I didn"t worry about ration points; I really set us out a feast.
There was a booklet of the requirements mentioned. "Satisfy all debts"-that didn"t worry me; aside from a half credit I owed Slats Keifer I didn"t have any. "Post an appearance bond"-George would take care of that "Conclude any action before any court of superior jurisdiction"-I had never been in court except the Court of Honor. There were a flock of other things, but George would handle them.
I found some fine print that worried me. "George," I said, "It says here that emigration is limited to families with children."
He looked up. "Well, aren"t we such a family? If you don"t mind being cla.s.sified as a child."
"Oh. I suppose so. I thought it meant a married couple and kids."
"Don"t give it a thought."
Privately I wondered if Dad knew what he was talking about.
We were busy with innoculations and blood typing and immunizations and I hardly got to school at all. When I wasn"t being stuck or being bled, I was sick with the last thing they had done to me. Finally we had to have our whole medical history tattooed on us-ident.i.ty number, Rh factor, blood type, coag time, diseases you had had, natural immunities and inoculations. The girls and the women usually had it done in invisible ink that showed up only under infra-red light, or else they put it on the soles of their feet.
They asked me where I wanted it, the soles of my feet? I said no, I don"t want to be crippled up; I had too much to do. We compromised on putting it where I sit down and then I ate standing up for a couple of days. It seemed a good place, private anyhow. But I had to use a mirror to see it.
Time was getting short; we were supposed to be at Mojave s.p.a.ce Port on 26 June, just two weeks away. It was high time I was picking out what to take. The allowance was fifty-seven and six-tenths pounds per person and had not been announced until all our body weights had been taken.
The booklet had said, "Close your terrestrial affairs as if you were dying." That"s easy to say. But when you die, you can"t take it with you, while here we could- fifty-seven-odd pounds of it.
The question was: what fifty-seven pounds?
My silkworms I turned over to the school biology lab and the same for the snakes. Duck wanted my aquarium but I wouldn"t let him; twice he"s had fish and twice he"s let them die. I split them between two fellows in the troop who already had fish. The birds I gave to Mrs. Fishbein on our deck. I didn"t have a cat or a dog; George says ninety floors up is no place to keep junior citizens-that"s what he calls them.
I was cleaning up the mess when George came in. "Well," he says, "first time I"ve been able to come into your room without a gas mask."
I skipped it; George talks like that. "I still don"t know what to do," I said, pointing at the heap on my bed.
"Microfilmed everything you can?"
"Yes, everything but this picture." It was a cabinet stereo of Anne, weighing about a pound and nine ounces.
"Keep that, of course. Face it, Bill, you"ve got to travel light. We"re pioneers."
"I don"t know what to throw out."
I guess I looked glum for he said, "Quit feeling sorry for yourself. Me, I"ve got to give up this- this-and that"s tough, believe me." He held out his pipe.
"Why?" I asked. "A pipe doesn"t weigh much."
"Because they aren"t raising tobacco on Ganymede and they aren"t importing any."
"Oh. Look, George, I could just about make it if it weren"t for my accordion. But it licks me."
"Hmm . . . Have you considered listing it as a cultural item?"
"Huh?"
"Read the fine print. Approved cultural items are not covered by the personal weight schedule. They are charged to the colony."
It had never occurred to me that I might have anything that would qualify. "They wouldn"t let me get away with it, George!"
"Can"t rule you out for trying. Don"t be a defeatist."
So two days later I was up before the cultural and scientific board, trying to prove that I was an a.s.set. I knocked out Turkey in the Straw, Turkey in the Straw, Nehru"s Nehru"s Opus 81, Opus 81, and the introduction to Morgenstern"s and the introduction to Morgenstern"s Dawn of the 22nd Century, Dawn of the 22nd Century, as arranged for squeeze boxes. I gave them as arranged for squeeze boxes. I gave them The Green Hills of Earth The Green Hills of Earth for an encore. for an encore.
They asked me if I liked to play for other people and told me politely that I would be informed as to the decision of the board . . . and about a week later I got a letter directing me to turn my accordion over to the Supply Office, Hayward Field. I was in, I was a "cultural a.s.set"!
Four days before blast-off Dad came home early-he had been closing his office-and asked me if we could have something special for dinner; we were having guests. I said I supposed so; my accounts showed that we would have rations to turn back.
He seemed embarra.s.sed. "Son-"
"Huh? Yes, George?"
"You know that item in the rules about families?"
"Uh, yes."
"Well, you were right about it, but I was holding out on you and now I"ve got to confess. I"m getting married tomorrow."
There was a sort of roaring in my ears. Dad couldn"t have surprised me more if he had slapped me.
I couldn"t say anything. I just stood there, looking at him. Finally I managed to get out, "But, George, you can"t do that!"
"Why not, Son?"
"How about Anne?"
"Anne is dead."
"But- But-" I couldn"t say anything more; I ducked into my room and locked myself in. I lay on the bed, trying to think.
Presently I heard Dad trying the latch. Then he tapped on the door and said, "Bill?"
I didn"t answer. After a while he went away. I lay there a while longer. I guess I bawled, but I wasn"t bawling over the trouble with Dad. It seemed the way it did the day Anne died, when I couldn"t get it through my head that I wouldn"t ever see her again. Wouldn"t ever see her smile at me again and hear her say, "Stand tall, Billy."
And I would stand tall and she would look proud and pat my arm.
How could George do it? How could he bring some other woman into Anne"s home?
I got up and had a look at myself in the mirror and then went in and set my "fresher for a needle shower and a hard ma.s.sage. I felt better afterwards, except that I still had a sick feeling in my stomach. The "fresher blew me off and dusted me and sighed to a stop. Through the sound it seemed to me I could hear Anne speaking to me, but that must have been in my head.
She was saying, "Stand tall, Son." I got dressed again and went out.
Dad was messing around with dinner and I do mean messing. He had burned his thumb on the shortwave, don"t ask me how. I had to throw out what he had been fiddling with, all except the salad. I picked out more stuff and started them cycling. Neither of us said anything.
I set the table for three and Dad finally spoke. "Better set it for four, Bill. Molly has a daughter, you know."
I dropped a fork. "Molly? You mean Mrs. Kenyon?"
"Yes. Didn"t I tell you? No, you didn"t give me a chance to."
I knew her all right. She was Dad"s draftsman. I knew her daughter, too-a twelve-year-old brat. Somehow, it being Mrs. Kenyon made it worse, indecent. Why, she had even come to Anne"s Farewell and had had the nerve to cry.
I knew now why she had always been so chummy with me whenever I was down at Dad"s office. She had had her eye on George.
I didn"t say anything. What was there to say?
I said "How do you do?" politely when they came in, then went out and pretended to fiddle with dinner. Dinner was sort of odd. Dad and Mrs. Kenyon talked and I answered when spoken to. I didn"t listen. I was still trying to figure out how he could do it. The brat spoke to me a couple of times but I soon put her in her place.
After dinner Dad said how about all of us going to a show? I begged off, saying that I still had sorting to do. They went.
I thought and thought about it. Any way I looked at it, it seemed like a bad deal.
At first I decided that I wouldn"t go to Ganymede after all, not if they were going. Dad would forfeit my bond, but I would work hard and pay it back-I wasn"t going to owe them them anything! anything!
Then I finally figured out why Dad was doing it and I felt some better, but not much. It was too high a price.
Dad got home late, by himself, and tapped on my door. It wasn"t locked and he came in. "Well, Son?" he said.
""Well" what?"
"Bill, I know that this business comes as a surprise to you, but you"ll get over it."
I laughed, though I didn"t feel funny. Get over it! Maybe he could forget Anne, but I never would.
"In the meantime," he went on, "I want you to behave yourself. I suppose you know you were as rude as you could be without actually spitting in their faces?"
"Me rude?"I objected. "Didn"t I fix dinner for them? Wasn"t I polite?"
"You were as polite as a judge pa.s.sing sentence. And as friendly. You needed a swift kick to make you remember your manners."
I guess I looked stubborn. George went on, "That"s done; let"s forget it. See here, Bill-in time you are going to see that this was a good idea. All I ask you to do is to behave yourself in the meantime. I don"t ask you to fall on their necks; I do insist that you be your own normal, reasonably polite and friendly self. Will you try?"
"Uh, I suppose so." Then I went on with, "See here, Dad, why did you have to spring it on me as a surprise?"
He looked embarra.s.sed. "That was a mistake. I suppose I did it because I knew you would raise Cain about it and I wanted to put it off."
"But I would have understood if you had only told told me. I know why you want to marry her-" me. I know why you want to marry her-"
"Eh?"
"I should have known when you mentioned that business about rules. You have to get married so that we can go to Ganymede--"
"What?"
I was startled. I said, "Huh? That"s right, isn"t it? You told me so yourself. You said-" was startled. I said, "Huh? That"s right, isn"t it? You told me so yourself. You said-"
"I said nothing of the sort!" Dad stopped, took a deep breath, then went on slowly, "Bill, I suppose you possibly could have gathered that impression-though I am not flattered that you could have entertained it. Now I"ll spell out the true situation: Molly and I are not getting married in order to emigrate. We are emigrating because we are getting married. You may be too young to understand it, but I love Molly and Molly loves me. If I wanted to stay here, she"d stay. Since I want to go, she wants to go. She"s wise enough to understand that I need to make a complete break with my old background. Do you follow me?"
I said I guessed so.
"I"ll say goodnight, then."
I answered, "Goodnight." He turned away, but I added, "George-" He stopped.