"Really? Aware of them, are you? Then you"ve met your brothers and sisters?"
Sterling"s mouth dropped open. He looked as though he"d been punched in the gut. He stepped back from Papa. He looked at me, his gaze full of questions.
"What brothers and sisters? I have one sister, I don"t ... I don"t ..."
"Oh, but you do," Papa said. He stepped closer to Sterling, seeking a kill shot on a wounded animal. "There are three that I know of, but I can nearly guarantee that with your father"s insatiable appet.i.tes there are more. Many, many more. Why do you think, after all those years of ignoring your father"s bad behavior, that your mother finally left? Finally took a lover? Finally wished to return to work? Sterling, what did finally push your mother over the edge?"
Sterling"s eyes glanced from Papa to me. I met his gaze and in that instant he saw that I knew. That I had kept this secret from him and hadn"t told him all that I had known about his family"s past.
"You ... you know them? You"ve met them? My brother and sisters?"
"Ask your father about the house he keeps in Castaic. Perhaps you"ve met these siblings and didn"t even know your own brother and sisters. The way your father propagated his seed, I can"t believe that these three are the only unknown siblings that you and Amanda have."
"Papa, no," I said. "Please, stop-"
"Oh, my darling." A mean smile cast upon my father"s face. "He has taken something so precious from me. Every Legend has stolen from this family. Now it"s my turn to take something from him." Papa"s anger was so intense. I knew that he didn"t just mean me, or The Lady"s Regret-he blamed the destruction of our little family of four on the Legend clan.
"Go ask your father, Sterling, the man I"m so concerned that you"re so similar to. Ask him how many children other women bore for him while he was married to your mother. Then perhaps you"ll understand my fears, my worries when it comes to Rhiannon and your relationship with her."
Papa looked at me. "I fell for it too, my darling. Joanne had me mesmerized with her promises of love and devotion. We had that for a while, she and I, but she could not stand to be without the Legend lifestyle. Once she grew ill, she wanted everything that being a Legend could provide." Papa turned to face Sterling again. "You are not the man that I want for Rhiannon. Not now, and not ever."
"This isn"t your decision," Sterling said. "This is Rhiannon"s decision."
"Sterling, please," I said. I grasped his upper arm and steered him to the front door. I shut the door behind us.
"I need time to talk to Papa. He is righteous and indignant and he"s saying the most vile things."
Sterling pulled back from my grasp. "You"re staying with him?" Sterling"s shock broke my heart.
"No. I mean yes. I just need some time, to talk to Papa. To make him understand, to be rational."
Sterling"s eyes widened as though I"d struck him. "He said those things about me, about my family and you"re staying here with him, instead of leaving with me?"
Heat in my belly flooded through my chest. "He is my father," I said. "I need to speak with him. This isn"t a you or him situation."
"It isn"t?" Sterling seemed surprised, perplexed by my words. "It was before, wasn"t it? You left with him to go to Ireland instead of staying with me."
"I was fifteen," I said. "I did what my family thought was best. I did what I thought was best."
"You wanted to leave? You believe all those things he said about my family? About my father? About me?"
"Sterling, those things about Steve are true. You do have three siblings and your mother and my father did have an affair, and I did leave, but it wasn"t because my parents made me."
My gaze locked with his. I wanted Sterling to understand that I had chosen to leave out of fear, but that I now chose to stay because of love. At fifteen the idea of such an all-consuming love frightened me. "We needed this time apart. I couldn"t have become the person I am now if we"d been together for the past seven years. Neither could you. We needed to find our own ident.i.ties and then be together."
"I can"t believe you didn"t tell me any of this," Sterling said. His hands were planted on his hips.
"And I can"t believe that your father didn"t." I crossed my arms over my chest. Anger split through my chest. Right now, Sterling reminded me of a petulant child who wanted everything his way. "My parents are overprotective and intrusive, but they are my parents. I need to speak with them about what I want. What we want. Alone." I placed my hand on the doork.n.o.b and looked at Sterling. "Please understand."
Sterling turned away from me and looked out toward to the horizon where the sun sank toward the ocean. "I waited for you once, Rhiannon, I"m not certain that I"m willing to do so again."
Chapter 20.
Sterling.
"First you"re gone, and now you"re back? You call mom a wh.o.r.e and now you stand here and tell me she has six weeks to live? That she"s dying? What the h.e.l.l, Dad? Who the h.e.l.l do you think you are standing here and acting like you belong in this family? That you have a right to be in this house?" My fists clenched at my sides. There was no fear. He"d hit me once and I hadn"t hit back. Back then I"d turned and walked away, but this time, I would pound the old b.a.s.t.a.r.d if he threw a punch. My fists itched for him to take a step toward me, to say something mean and unkind. Let him call Mom a wh.o.r.e again, let him feel the pain that raged through my heart and wanted to come out through my fists.
"She"s dying, Sterling." His eyes held pain. "She"s upstairs in bed. We just came from the oncologist. There"s nothing more they can do."
"Bulls.h.i.t," I said. I opened my hands and clenched them again. "Mom can do anything. If she can live through you and your drinking and your whoring and your insane bellowing then she can f.u.c.king beat cancer." My voice was low and my throat closed up around my words. My eyes filled with heat, a horrible heat. I didn"t want to cry in front of my father, this b.a.s.t.a.r.d who"d caused my mother to sob deep into the night. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d who regularly appeared on the front page of the tabloids because when he was on set, he screwed everything with t.i.ts. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d who made it impossible for anyone to get away from him. "You"re a liar!" I yelled. I started past him toward the stairs and his arms grabbed me and pulled me in. I pulled hard against him to get away.
"Son, I"m not lying. I may be a b.a.s.t.a.r.d and a womanizer and a huge a.s.s, but I love your mother and I always have. I"m not lying-this is nothing to lie about. She"s leaving us, and soon."
The sobs broke free. I hadn"t cried since I was in middle school and the sound that wrenched from my chest was unfamiliar. Giant tears rolled down my face, hot and angry. I wanted to throw up. Dad pulled me tighter.
"We"ll get through it," he whispered in my ear. "Do you understand, son? We"ll make this the best f.u.c.king six weeks she could ever have and we"ll get through it. The four of us, together." His voice was thick with emotion. He pulled his head back and looked into my eyes as the tears rolled down his face.
His arms tightened around me and his giant hands patted my back. "Now go up there, don"t cry, and be happy to see your mother."
I swallowed and wiped the tears from under my eyes. I looked at Dad. His face was stoic, but sadness etched his eyes. "Don"t let her see it son, don"t let her see the pain. Be happy to be with her now. Let"s hold off on missing her until she"s gone."
I nodded. Dad was right. He was a b.a.s.t.a.r.d and an a.s.s and a million other things, but he was my dad. And he would make this the best six weeks of Mom"s life and I would be there beside them. They would be the last few weeks that we would have as a family.
I burst into Dad"s house. I didn"t knock. I didn"t call. I didn"t pause at the doorway where his housekeeper stood in slack-jawed surprise as I blew past her and up the stairs to his room. There could be half a dozen starlets with him, but I didn"t care. Tonight I didn"t f.u.c.king care what I saw. I bounded up the stairs and rushed down the hall. I threw open the door.
Dad"s room was gigantic, bigger than the entire main floor of my house in Venice. Instead of the orgy I expected, my father sat in the center of his immense bed with reading gla.s.ses on, a script open on his lap, and the giant flat screen TV turned on, but on mute.
Not the hard-partying Legend lifestyle.
He jerked his head back when he saw me and pulled his gla.s.ses from his face. "This is a surprise. What is it, son?" His voice was always raspy and thick.
"Do I have a brother and two sisters?"
Nothing on Dad"s face twitched. Not one muscle moved. His gaze darted from me to a portrait of my mother that hung above the fireplace and then back to me. "You have a half-brother and two half-sisters."
My gut twisted as though I"d been socked in the pit of my stomach. I hadn"t believed Tom; I hadn"t wanted to believe Tom Bliss. I wanted to believe that the things Tom said were the ramblings of an angry man and not legitimate statements of truth.
"Are there more?"
Dad tapped the stem of his gla.s.ses against his bottom lip. "Could be," he said. "Those are the only three I know about."
I wanted to pummel him and use my fists to release the anger that burrowed in my chest. Instead I clenched my fists together and pressed them to my head. My fingertips brushed through my hair. "How could you not tell us? How could you keep this from Amanda and me?" I stopped pacing and stood beside Dad"s bed. "Do they live in L.A.? Where are they? Who"s their mother? What the f.u.c.k? Are you such a f.u.c.king narcissist that you have to leave a trail of progeny behind?" I asked.
"I"ve been called worse." He closed the script on his lap. "They live in Los Angeles, their mother is ..." He paused and closed his eyes, his chin dropped to his chest. His lips pursed and then he pulled his head up and looked at me. "Their mother is Anita."
"Anita? Our nanny? The woman that Amanda caught you f.u.c.king in the guest room?"
Dad chewed on the corner of his reading gla.s.ses. "That would be the one." There was no guilt in his voice and he spoke in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Do you see them? Is this like a whole other family that you have?"
Dad rested his head against his headboard. "Sterling, it"s complicated."
"I f.u.c.king bet it"s complicated. Having two families? No wonder Mom was so mad at you."
"Your mother wasn"t a saint either."
"No, but she didn"t have kids with someone else while she was married to you."
"No, she didn"t," Dad admitted. "They live in Castaic just outside of Los Angeles. Rhett is two years younger than you and the twins are two years younger than Amanda."
"Twins? You have twins?" I sat on the chair beside Dad"s bed. My eyes closed and I tried to make sense of this. How was this happening? Why was this happening? After a lifetime as Steve Legend"s son, I thought I"d seen and experienced just about everything. I was wrong.
"Anita was still working for us after she had kids with you?" I shook my head. The depth of Dad"s depravity stunned me. "Amanda caught you banging Anita but Mom didn"t know about those kids? Man, you are some piece of work."
Of course Tom and Gayle would have wanted to get Rhiannon and Maeve as far away from my family as possible. And they still didn"t want Rhiannon involved with me, because of the taint of this man.
As a kid I"d suspected that my father had had affairs, but it was a taboo topic that our family never discussed. I didn"t really understand it all until much later. Then, once Mom died, I just didn"t worry about it, because she was gone. But now? Now, I had siblings that I"d never even known about.
"Rhett, has some ... problems," Dad said.
"What kind of problems?" I wasn"t sure I wanted to hear about this, despite my question.
"He"s gotten into some trouble. Runs with a rough crowd."
"Dad, how rough can it possibly be? He lives in Castaic."
"The truth is, he has some relatives-uncles-whose businesses are a little suspect. I haven"t been able to be there for him, like I was for you and Amanda."
"You"re kidding, right? Please tell me you"re kidding. Before Mom died you were never around for us. Then after she died it was mainly Gayle who looked after us until we were old enough to work for you. When you realized you could use us in the business we finally got your attention." I paused. "But disabuse yourself of the notion that you were "there" for me and Amanda. You weren"t."
"People know that I"m your father. You may not want to admit it, but there are perks with that fact."
"And Rhett doesn"t use your name? Are you saying he doesn"t have our last name?"
"He does, but he chooses not to use it."
"Where is he?"
"Right now? I"m not sure. I haven"t heard from him in a couple months."
"College?"
"Dropped out. Listen, I"ve supported them financially as much as I"ve done for you and Amanda, but their lives have been different. They are different. They know about you two and none of them have ever expressed any interest in meeting you or your sister."
"I"m not even going to comment on that other than to say I can"t believe you kept this from us. That you didn"t say anything, to us."
"Look, I knew you"d find out and I thought, when you did, I"d discuss it with you then. I"m surprised it took this long. Who told you? That Rhiannon Bliss?"
"Rhiannon didn"t know about any of this," I said.
"Of course she did. Gayle knew, Tom knew, so did Rhiannon and most likely Maeve, as well. Gayle and Rhiannon even met the kids once. When your mother was sick she gave Gayle a letter she"d written for Anita but that b.i.t.c.h Gayle wouldn"t let me deliver it. She and Rhiannon went up to Anita"s house just before Rhiannon left for Ireland with her Dad."
I stood. My head spun at the idea that Rhiannon knew about my half-brother and half-sisters. She"d known about Dad"s other children for the last seven years and never mentioned it to Amanda or me?
I walked to the door. I was having trouble processing all that I"d heard tonight. My heart was heavy and my emotions barreled from anger to disgust to sheer surprise. If I hadn"t known it before, I had finally to come to realize that my family was a f.u.c.ked-up mess, forever and always.
"Hey," Dad called from his bed. He pointed his eyegla.s.ses toward me. He c.o.c.ked an eyebrow. "You think you"re perfect, Sterling, because of all the things I"ve done wrong? I"ve stood by you; I"ve taken care of you and your sister. Your lives have been pretty d.a.m.ned exclusive and cushy, because of me."
"Yeah, Dad, it"s pretty f.u.c.king awesome to have everything, except for normal. Besides, last time I checked, I was under the impression that there was more to parenting than doling out cash."
Rhiannon "I won"t let you be with that b.a.s.t.a.r.d"s son." Papa"s voice was loud and his eyes wide with rage. "I forbid it."
I spun around. "You forbid me?" The rage that gripped my chest was unfamiliar. I didn"t have my father"s horrible temper; Maeve had inherited that. She now stood on the far side of the living room having walked in on the middle the argument. Her mouth hung open in shock. She"d never seen such anger from me. I didn"t fight with our parents. I didn"t argue. I was the daughter most likely to go along with their wishes.
"I am a grown woman, Papa. You cannot forbid me to do anything." My voice was low and quiet, but it had a hard tone that I"d never used before. I sounded like my mother when she was angry.
"You come home smelling of a Legend and parade through this house after you"ve been up to Montecito whoring around."
"You would know every last thing about whoring around in Montecito now, wouldn"t you, Papa?"
Papa"s nostrils flared, and he was barely holding himself together. His words, his temper ... his hands. I"d never been struck by my father, but in this instant fear flooded through me. The damage would be irreparable if he were to strike me.
"Enough!" Mama shouted. She stood on her crutches in the kitchen. I didn"t hear her come in and thought she was still at the barn where she"d retreated when Sterling left. "I can hear you all the way to the canyon." She hobbled toward us. Her eyes lit with rage and the skin between her brows crinkled with confusion. "Tom, you will pull yourself together, or you"re not welcome here."
My father took a long pull of air and settled his hands on his hips. He stepped away from me and turned his back. "It"s because of my time in Montecito that I know what I know," Papa said. His voice was softer now. Melancholy replaced the anger on his face. "The Legends are vipers. They take what they need from you. They will suck you dry if you allow it."
His gaze went from me to Mama, who now stood at the edge of the living room. "I was a fool. I sacrificed the greatest gift I"d been given for a foolish moment." His gaze went back to me. "A foolish moment brought on by a fairytale. I don"t want you to make a similar mistake, Rhiannon. Do you not understand? Can you not see the devastation that they wreck upon the lives of others? With complete and utter disregard."
"It"s not like that with Sterling," I said. I closed my eyes and willed my heartbeat to slow down. "I love him, Papa. I"ve loved him since I was fifteen."
"Has he not used you, Rhiannon? Has he not used you to try and get to me? To try and get the script that I want with all my heart to never see the light of day? The script that represents my greatest failure as a man? And yet you"ve asked me more than once to give Sterling more time, to let him make The Lady"s Regret. Do you not see how he"s used you?"
"He"s got the financing and the director, and he"s going forward with the film without my help."
"Now," Papa said. "Now he is. But when he asked, did he have any of those pieces in place? Did he, Rhiannon? No, he came to you and he asked you to use your relationship with me."
"First of all, he pulled the project together on his own. I had nothing to do with it. Secondly, he loves me and it"s not like this-or anything like the sordid ideas you have in your head. Our relationship has nothing to do with The Lady"s Regret, and everything to do with love and respect."
Papa smirked with a horrible sad little smile. "We"ll see, won"t we, Rhiannon. We"ll see what happens to Sterling"s love for you now that he"s got his financing, and his director, and his big star. We"ll see just how much in love he stays with you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Rhiannon, but once a Legend gets what they want from someone they let them go. There is no sincerity and loyalty amongst them, my dear. They are a selfish lot full of self-interest, and that isn"t really love at all."
I looked at him, my eyes burning with anger and maybe even hatred. "I don"t think you are in a position to lecture me about love, Papa. Take a look around the room. You"re lucky the three of us are even speaking to you." With that I grabbed my bag and left the room, sweeping past Mama and Maeve who stood in shock at what they had just witnessed.