Mama was silent. She sipped her coffee and followed my gaze over the rolling hills that lead to the ocean. "I was just a tiny bit younger than you are now when Joanne and I moved to Los Angeles."
"I know the story." I tightened my arms around my shins.
"It was me that Steve first asked out," Mama said. "Did you know that part, too?"
I turned my head and my cheek rested on my knees. "Did you go out with him?"
A smile split Mama"s face. "No. Absolutely not. I knew from the moment I met him that Steve Legend was bad news. I had a bit part on one of his films. By the time he asked me out, he"d pretty much slept his way through every woman on set."
I smiled. Steve was a legend all right. "So how"d he end up with Joanne?"
"Wrap party," Mama said. "I took her with me to the wrap party. Her career hadn"t blown up yet, but it was about to. She came with me and when those two saw each other"-Mama closed her eyes and shook her head-"it was as if the sun had exploded. You could feel the energy between them. They had this nearly indescribable chemistry." Mama glanced at me, "Seriously. Like Liz and Burt. Just magnetic. Joanne was the only woman Steve truly loved."
"How can you say that? He was with hundreds of women even after he married Joanne."
Mama nodded. "But, for Steve, those women were just s.e.x. For him s.e.x and love were two very separate things. He loved Joanne. He gave her his heart, his name, she bore his children. And in some very strange way Joanne understood that about her relationship with Steve. She chose to look the other way. She was Steve"s wife and the mother of his children and she knew that meant something. It wasn"t until she found out about Rhett, Ellen, and Sophia that she nearly lost her mind." Mama shook her head. "I don"t want that for you."
"Sterling isn"t Steve."
"No, darling, Sterling isn"t Steve, but he is a Legend. I don"t want you to give your heart away to someone who doesn"t give you as much as you give them. Steve gave Joanne all that he could give. He could never give her monogamy and she knew that. They had this unspoken arrangement, but when she found out he"d broken his end of the bargain by having a family with someone else, well, that"s when she broke her end of the bargain."
"The affair," I whispered.
"The affair," Mama said. "But it was more than that. Your father fell in love with Joanne and maybe Joanne fell a little bit in love with your father, too."
"Did you ever speak of it? When she was sick? Before she died?"
Mama"s eyes looked so sad, so filled with a deep pain. She had loved both her best friend and her husband and she had lost them both. Mama stood by Joanne all through Joanne"s illness; she"d helped to take care of Joanne"s children even after she died.
"Once," Mama said. She turned to me. She reached up and her fingertips stroked through my hair. "Once, just before she died."
Mama looked away from me and toward the ocean. "Time makes most things less of a burden. I wanted to be able to say that I had been my best self with my best friend when she was dying. I"ve gotten to watch you grow up, even if it was from afar most the time." A smile curved over her mouth. "Rhiannon, please remember, that to be a Legend can be the most horrible of blessings."
I closed my eyes and pressed my lips tight. How could I be involved with Sterling? My parents had suffered so much pain because of their love for Joanne. Now, I forced them to relive the events by first asking Daddy to extend the option on The Lady"s Regret and, second, by surrendering to my attraction to Sterling. Daddy would never accept Sterling as my lover, my soul mate, and I doubted that Mama would ever accept Sterling either. Our family history was simply too dark and too painful and too complicated.
Chapter 15.
Sterling.
"Seriously?" Cami Montgomery"s look of shock surprised me. She sat back against the red velvet booth at Soho House. "You want to put Kiley Kepner in the lead role for The Lady"s Regret?"
I nodded. "If it"s the only way to get the film made, then yes. If Tom won"t extend the option, then I want Kiley to play the role and we can go into production."
Cami examined me as though she was unsure of who she was looking at. "You remember," she said softly, "that this role was meant for your mother."
My heartbeat spiked. "Right, but this is an amazing script that will make a great movie."
"But is it worth it to put Kiley in that role just to get the movie made? What does Amanda say?"
"She doesn"t like the idea."
Cami lifted her drink. "It"s Kiley or no one at this point, right? You"ve got four weeks on the option. You have to attach your female lead and cast up and then go into production, or Tom gets the project back." She took a drink of her beer.
"Yep, you"re absolutely right," I said.
"And her fee?
"SAG minimum plus ten percent"
"Annnnd, what else?" Cami asked. "I know that"s not all Kiley would have asked for."
"Producer credit and points. None of it"s unreasonable."
"No," Cami said. "None of it"s unreasonable, until we get on set and she starts acting like the nutcase she is."
"Will your Mom cash flow with Kiley in the lead? If she won"t, then we can"t use Kiley."
"We"ll have to ask. Mom was close to Joanne and she really loathes Kiley as a person, but Mom is all about business when it comes to money. She understands the marketplace and how Kiley makes the film a solid investment for her."
My eyes scanned the horizon and I took a sip of my beer. This could get ugly. Amanda had been clear with me that she"d rather the project die than have Kiley in the role, yet here I was with Cami, asking my director to cast Kiley in the lead. If Amanda couldn"t put aside her personal feelings about Kiley for business reasons, then that was her problem. I just wasn"t going to make it my problem.
"Let"s sit down with Elizabeth and see what she thinks."
"You got it," Cami said. "I"ll get a meeting on the books."
"Thanks," I said. "I"m interested in what she has to say about making this film with Kiley in the lead."
The phone call interrupted my pre-run stretches but I accepted it nonetheless.
"Sterling?"
The voice was older, a bit austere, and very direct. The type of voice that commanded attention, the kind of voice that would prompt you to do whatever the person wanted.
"Mrs. Montgomery," I said.
"Elizabeth, please. I thought we determined that when last you were here." I heard her smile. "While you and I haven"t spent much time together, I was too close to your mother for her son to call me anything but Elizabeth."
My shoulders relaxed. The fact that Elizabeth Montgomery considered me a family friend, and my mother one of her best friends, were reasons for me to hope that I could secure the financing I needed for The Lady"s Regret. Even if it meant casting a woman she disliked.
"I wondered if you might come up to Montecito tomorrow and stay for a few days."
"Of course."
"Cami can"t join us until she finishes a commercial she"s shooting."
"Right, she mentioned that."
"Shocking how much they spend on commercials. Millions of dollars for thirty seconds."
Commercials were a primary source of income for a huge number of directors. Many directors actually took a pay cut to shoot their first full-length feature film. Sometimes directors went from an income of millions of dollars a year to the DGA minimum of two hundred and fifty K. Nothing to sneeze at either way, but a gigantic pay cut nonetheless simply to get a film in Hollywood.
"Great gig if you can get it," I said.
"Exactly. Listen, Sterling, I wondered if you might bring someone with you who I am desperate to meet."
Who could Elizabeth Montgomery, a gazillionaire who sat on a mult.i.tude of boards, a well-known philanthropist, be desperate to meet?
"Of course, any way I can help."
"I extended the invitation to Rhiannon Bliss but, as you know, the girl is a bit of an introvert and the poor thing doesn"t drive."
My stomach churned at the mention of Rhiannon"s name.
"I"m a huge fan of her work," she continued. "I purchased Malibu #3 from your sister"s gallery. I know Rhiannon is a very private person."
I cleared my throat. Now wasn"t the time to explain to Elizabeth Montgomery all the personal reasons I wasn"t the ideal person to collect Rhiannon Bliss and drive her to Montecito.
"I hope you don"t mind that I took such a liberty. I know that you and Gayle and Rhiannon are close, and your mothers were best friends. I a.s.sumed that you"d be okay with bringing Rhiannon with you."
"Of course, Elizabeth," I said. "Rhiannon and I have known each other since we were children. I can bring her with me to Montecito. No problem."
"Excellent, then we"ll see you tomorrow around noon."
I would get my shot to explain to Elizabeth why Kiley Kepner made good financial sense for The Lady"s Regret, but I"d have to be with Rhiannon Bliss when I made my case.
I"d avoided Rhiannon since I"d left Amanda"s house a couple of days ago. I couldn"t remain unattached if I continued spending time with Rhiannon. I looked out at the ocean. There were five miles between me and the rest of my day. The exercise would clear my mind. Spending time in Montecito with Rhiannon and Elizabeth was just a part of my job, and what I had to do to get my film made. While I wasn"t so stupid as to deny my feelings for Rhiannon, I could be professional enough to put them on hold. Besides, Elizabeth"s house was huge. We wouldn"t be sharing a room. If spending time in Montecito with Elizabeth and Rhiannon would convince Elizabeth to put The Lady"s Regret into pre-production, then I could most definitely stay at Elizabeth"s and convince myself not to sleep with Rhiannon while I was there.
Rhiannon I disconnected the call and turned back to my canvas. I set my brush down. It would be so easy to become involved with Gerard again. He was handsome and smart and literate and I was certain he would be a remarkable lover. But I couldn"t. Why not? Because each time I dated a man and grew close to moments of intimacy, when the moment arrived all I saw was Sterling. I would see Sterling"s face and my desire for him would consume me as I lay in the arms of another man. I closed my eyes. I wouldn"t do that to another man. Heat rose inside my chest. I was frustrated over my inability to push Sterling aside and move on. Why did I want a man who did not want to be with me?
My phone rang again. I glanced at the number. I pulled in a long cleansing breath. Frustration was ugly and I detested being ugly.
"Sterling," I said. I fought to temper my tone.
"I"ll pick you up tomorrow at eight," he said.
"What? What for?"
"Aren"t you going to Montecito tomorrow?"
I sat down. "What does me going to see Elizabeth Montgomery have to do with you?"
"It would seem we both need something from Elizabeth. For you I am guessing it"s the introduction to a world-renowned patron of the arts, for me it"s about The Lady"s Regret."
I leaned back on my stool. Now was as good a time as any to tell Sterling about my call with Papa. "I spoke with Papa, he will not extend the option."
"s.h.i.t," Sterling said. His voice was freighted with disappointment and I knew he did not want to continue the conversation.
"Eight is fine," I said. His voice had diffused my frustration and I suddenly wanted to keep him on the line. I wanted to hear a smile in his voice. A smile directed at me. I wanted him to flirt and tell me how desperate he was to see me, as Gerard had done. But instead all I got was a brief good-bye.
"Great. See you then."
The line went dead. Why was I torturing myself so? A brilliant photojournalist, one of the best in the world, wanted me in Paris and had been calling me for over a year. I needed to kill this love I"d carried in my heart since I was fifteen. I needed to get on with my life.
Chapter 16.
Sterling.
The next morning, on the drive up to pick up Rhiannon, I had a few moments to think about her-think about us. Rhiannon wanted us to be connected, together. It had been me who had set parameters on our relationship-if you could even call it a relationship-parameters that I knew she would be unwilling to agree to. Maybe Amanda was right-wasn"t my little sister always right?-I was intentionally distancing myself from Rhiannon.
I pulled into Gayle"s driveway and drove up the hill to a stop in front of the house. Her battered pickup truck sat out front. I opened the car door and took a moment to admire the view before walking up to the front door. I knocked.
When had I begun knocking on Gayle"s front door? When Amanda and I were kids we used to run in and out of this door as though this house were ours, too. Even after Rhiannon and Maeve and Tom left, Amanda and I still treated the Bliss home like our own.
The door flew open in front of me.
"Sterling!" Maeve threw her arms around me. "Come in." She pulled me into the house and yanked me toward the kitchen. The warm scent of coffee and fresh-baked bread tickled my nose. Gayle baked bread nearly every single day. The smell meant home to me. I guessed it always would.
"Rhiannon, Sterling is here," Maeve yelled. She sounded like the little sister I remembered when she used to call for Rhiannon.
"Sit down. Still take it black?"
I nodded. Maeve poured two cups of coffee and doctored her with cream and sugar.
"And you still like yours sweet," I said. She handed me my coffee and took a long sip of hers.
Her eyes twinkled. She was a devil of a girl. Exactly what a younger sister should be, just like Amanda, always poking her nose into my business and letting on like she knew more than she did.
"Oh, don"t go and give me that stoic Legend face." She rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. "You can"t fool me. I"ve known you too long for that."
I smiled. She was like Rhiannon that way. She did know me too well for me to pretend as if something wasn"t bothering me.
"You still in love with Rhiannon then?"
My face froze at hearing her question. I didn"t react.