Damien had finally shown her the files about his investigation. He didn"t even have a clear explanation about her ident.i.ty and here he was, making it even more confusing for her. "What the h.e.l.l are you doing?" he berated himself, regretting his action.
Meanwhile, Katherine didn"t know what to make out of all this information.
"I need you to stay with me…" he said, his voice was almost a whisper.
"What you are saying doesn"t make sense." She was exasperated. "Are you telling me that I didn"t exist five years ago?" Her words were a blur.
Regretful, Damien reached his hand out and held hers. "I wish I had all the answers for you. I hate that I have to tell you this… I don"t want to scare you. Especially since we don"t really know anything yet. This is why I"m worried."
Katherine retracted her hand and let out a heavy sigh. With her elbows on her thighs, she held her head in her hands.
"Also… Dr. Cheng is missing… and we still don"t know where he is."
"Missing?" Her head snapped towards him.
Damien nodded. "On the day that you switched doctors."
Upon hearing his response, she started feeling queasy. Everything was just too confusing for her. She already could not remember her past and now he tells her that there wasn"t any record of her existence? She could feel her heart twist in pain and her eyes began to get misty.
Sensing her distress, he placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her towards him, kissing her forehead and hugging her close as it was all that he could do at the moment. "This is why I can"t let you go. The only way I can make sure you are safe is if you stay with me. So if you move out..."
Katherine remained quiet as she tried to wrap her head around what she just discovered. After some time, she gently pushed herself off of him and looked away. "I"m sorry… I may have to take a rain check on that dinner. I wish to be alone for now." She got up from the sofa and was about to walk away when Damien stopped her, grabbing her by the hand.
"Are you mad? I"m really sorry…" This was why he didn"t want to tell her. He knew it was a bad idea.
She forced a small smile and shook her head but it was obvious that she wasn"t okay. "I can"t be mad at you, Damien…" She briefly caressed his cheek before she tiptoed and pressed a soft kiss on his lips.
He watched her walk out of his office, his heart felt a slight p.r.i.c.k when he saw her disappear from his sight.
That was the last conversation that Katherine and Damien had last Friday evening. Then she chose to stay cooped up in the penthouse and did not go out despite missing him. She was feeling a little lost… lost than she already was. So the entire weekend, she mostly slept and stared into s.p.a.ce, wondering what she was supposed to do with what she just learned.
Damien was able to talk to her on the phone a few times but only for a brief moment. It was the only thing he could do apart from sending food to her doorstep as she wanted to be alone in the meantime.
"Who am I?" she wondered — it was a question that she had already asked herself countless times for the past five years.
It was already four o"clock the next Monday morning and Katherine was still awake. She slept from late afternoon until evening the day before — her body clock was suffering from her current mental state.
She scanned the room and her eyes settled on an article of clothing that poked out of a drawer from her closet. Walking towards it, she realized that it was her swimsuit. Over the past few years, the only activity that helped her whenever she was feeling dispirited was swimming. She began to swim regularly two years ago until she started working in the company. Pulling out the piece, she decided to go to the hotel"s gym.
The Crown Hotel had a fitness gym located on the floor below her penthouse. The gym was enclosed in a gla.s.s wall and was overlooking the indoor lap pool in front of it.
Wearing a black hydrasuit swimwear, Katherine walked towards the pool. The lights were quite warm in the pool area compared to the white lights inside the gym. Since it was very early, there was no one else there. Setting her things on the bench, she dove into the water and started swimming towards the other end of the pool.
She glid in the water, stroked her arms and kicked her feet. Her breathing was measured and it allowed her to focus on doing just one thing - breathing. She went back and forth and had managed a few slow laps before she stopped and swam to the side.
Katherine pulled herself out of the pool, sat on the edge to take a break and stared at the gym in front of her. That was only when she noticed that there was a man inside the gym who was doing pull-ups with his back facing her. Her mind unknowingly brought her to imagine Damien"s back while he was cooking topless in her kitchen. It"s been more than two days and she was already missing him — but she needed the time alone.
The man released his grip from the bar and landed on the ground, causing Katherine to snap out of her trance. She turned back to the pool and dove to the middle. When she resurfaced, a voice haunted her in her mind:
"Who are you?"
"You are n.o.body."
The words repeated over and over that she became frustrated again. Wanting to drown out the ill thoughts, she went underwater, closed her eyes and did not move.
"Who are you?"
"You have no ident.i.ty… you are definitely not worthy to stand next to him. He"s out of reach… and you"re only a speck of dust."
She could still hear the mocking voice in her head and she didn"t want to listen to it anymore. Katherine released air, causing bubbles to form and rise to the surface — then, she let herself sink to the bottom of the pool.
At last, she was completely submerged and she could no longer hear anything. She remained motionless as she let herself mold together with the water. She didn"t know how many seconds had pa.s.sed and she wished she could just stay there forever… where it was quiet… where it was safe.
A movement in the water caused her eyes to slowly flutter open. The water was clear yet she could not make out the figure in front of her until it started to get closer.
"Damien…" she thought. How weird was it to see him even underwater? "Do I really love this man so much to think about him at this time?"
The next thing she knew, she was pulled up to the surface. The sudden flight caused her to gasp as soon as she realized that someone had pulled her up.
"Are you crazy?! Were you trying to drown yourself?" said the man in an angry tone, he was holding her steady, his feet kicking in the water to keep both of them up as he tried to tread towards the edge of the pool.
"Damien?" Katherine was confused. What just happened?
He helped her out of the pool and immediately wrapped a towel around her. "What the f.u.c.k, Katherine? What the h.e.l.l was that?"
"What do you mean?"
Confusion cast on Damien"s face. He was dripping wet and was looking infuriated as he spat, "You were under the water for more than a minute!"
Katherine felt a stab in her heart with the way he scolded her. She didn"t know why he would get this mad.
But before she could even think about what to tell him, her body had already jolted forward and pounced on him. Wrapping her arms around his torso and started sobbing uncontrollably, "I"m sorry… I"m so sorry…" She broke down.
She had tried so hard not to cry. She never wanted to cry, especially not in front of him. But seeing Damien in front of her and with her current disconcerting state, all she wanted was to find release.