Katherine slightly s.h.i.+vered, feeling cold and exposed under his gaze that she wanted to cover herself. But before she could even do anything, Damien had already hovered over her again. Pressing his bare and warm torso against hers, she felt her body instantly relax. And when his lips found hers once again, she knew it just felt right.
His kisses were so sensual and pa.s.sionate. He would start slow and sweet, then later, he would tease and graze his teeth on her lips before he would go back to slow kisses again. She never thought that she would love kissing him so much, that was all she wanted to do.
This was the farthest that they had gone since Damien never tried anything more than occasional touching or squeezing. He wanted to be really careful with her, afraid that she was going to get scared if he were to get carried away. But that night, he just couldn"t help himself and tried going a little further. And feeling her almost bare under him was such a pleasurable feeling — he couldn"t get enough.
She didn"t know if what she was doing was right as her heart was pounding in her chest — she was afraid that he would notice it. She definitely loved what they were doing. The feeling of him kissing her lips, her skin… his hands touching her in places she didn"t know she wanted so much for him to touch… but why were her eyes slowly stinging?
Damien"s warm hands roamed over her naked body, pinching and stroking her sides. He had settled himself between her legs and she ached when she felt his bulge pressing against her apex. She was still wearing her underwear and he still had his pants on but even with that, she could feel how hard he was.
He slightly nudged his groin against hers — she moaned… and he groaned. He tried it again and felt her tighten her grip on his back. Every time he ground, his chest would brush her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and it only added to his excitement. The friction it created whenever he humped her sent the two of them into euphoria.
Katherine felt him slightly s.h.i.+ft to the side as his hand trailed from her stomach down to her navel and all of a sudden, she flinched and had pushed him off of her.
"What"s wrong?"
Damien was suddenly alarmed by her sudden reaction. He quickly searched her body to check if he had done something wrong but all he noticed was the pool of water in her eyes. She gingerly covered her chest with her arms and turned her head away from him when she felt his gaze on her.
"Katherine?" He was truly worried, his heart twinged in pain seeing her like that. "Baby, did I do something wrong?"
Katherine could also not understand what happened and why she did that. And now all she felt was embarra.s.sment — she could not look at him in the eyes and she could sense the heaviness in her heart.
"I"m sorry… I… I don"t know…" her voice croaked.
Hastily, Damien grabbed the blanket and covered her with it, realizing that she was suddenly feeling very conscious. "No, it"s me… I"m sorry, I shouldn"t have done that."
With mixed emotions, Damien collapsed on the bed and breathed out a sigh. He knew that she wasn"t ready yet he went further. He shouldn"t have… He should have asked... He balled his hand into a fist and clenched his jaw. He felt like he had just violated her. "I"m sorry," he muttered again.
Katherine did not know what to say to him. She bit her lip, feeling sorry for her strange behaviour as she tried to recall what happened, playing the scene in her head. Everything was going well… everything was nice… she liked it, but why did she do that?
Noticing that he wasn"t moving next to her, she felt extremely bad that he thought he was at fault.
She was guilty for what she did despite not knowing why she did it. Turning to the other side to face him, she saw him lying outside of the blanket, creating some distance between them as though he was afraid to touch her. He had his arm above his eyes and his chest rose and fell a little faster than usual.
Hesitantly, Katherine reached out for that arm and tugged it, making him look at her.
"I"m sorry," she said in a soft voice.
When he saw that her eyes were still misty, he felt another twinge in his heart. Turning his body to face her, he stroked the corner of her wet eye. "You didn"t do anything, I did."
Katherine shook her head. "No, you… I just…"
"Can I ask you something?" he asked and saw her nod. "Did something happen to you?" He saw her raise a brow as if she did not understand what he meant, so he rephrased his question, "I mean… Did someone touch you without your permission?"
Upon hearing his question, she shook her head once again, "No… I… I don"t think so." She sighed. "I don"t know." She closed her eyes and pressed her face on the blanket. This was what frustrated her, there was just so much she didn"t know about herself and there as nothing else that she could say except those words.
Seeing her expression, Damien could only curse at himself. Did he just make it worse?
"Can I hug you?"
After what happened earlier, he just had to ask as he was afraid that what he wanted to do might offend her. When he saw her nod, he immediately pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her. She was swaddled in a blanket like a coc.o.o.n and she allowed him to embrace her. "I would never hurt you… you know that, right?"
"Damien…" Katherine bit her lip as she forced herself to tell him her thoughts. "I trust you. You have to believe that."
"Why are you saying it like that?"
"I trust you… but I don"t trust myself," she blurted. "I"m in my late twenties and the only thing I can remember is from when I woke up five years ago. I"m scared of whatever it is that I am before that. The nightmares that I had and even the only memory that I recalled just hours ago, all of them don"t make sense. I just… I just don"t feel like me. It"s as if this isn"t my life that I"m living right now."
Damien remained quiet as he listened to her.
"I am happy with you. I truly am. But there"s this nagging feeling inside me holding me back and I don"t know what that is. I clearly like you, I like you a lot and I want this… I want us. I want you… I…" Katherine was blabbering, she was so confused about her own feelings.
"It"s okay… I understand. You"re not ready yet and that"s fine. You can take your time and I can wait. You don"t have to beat yourself up for something like this. It"s fine."
"But what if… I"m not… pure? What if… I had…"
"Do you mean - what if you are no longer a virgin?" he asked, in which she nodded slowly.
"I don"t care about that, Katherine. It"s never a basis for what I feel for you. This attraction that I feel is more than just wanting to be physical with you. So, whether you had done it in the past or not... does not matter to me. I am no saint as well. Does that matter to you?"
She shook her head and felt him stroke her back, comforting her. She didn"t care about those things about him, especially that they were all in the past. She liked him — loved him. That"s all that should matter, right?
"Whatever happened to you, I don"t and wouldn"t love you any less. Remember that," he said before placing a kiss on her forehead.
They laid on their side for a while before Katherine hesitantly asked, "Will you be okay? I… stopped you while you were…"
Damien smiled, finding her question a little silly but adorable. He kissed the top of her head. "I"ll be fine. Though… Can I use your shower?"
Inside the bathroom, Damien stood under the cold shower, his hand pressed on the wall while running water stream from his head down to his torso and his legs. He breathed in and out steadily and lowered his eyes to see Damien Jr., giving him the cold shoulder angrily as it stood erect in the air.
"Don"t look at me like that. It"s not her fault," he told him, but all it did was bob.
He was already cursing silently as showering in her bathroom wasn"t such a great idea — what with seeing all her bath products and smelling the scent of her shampoo on his hair when he used it earlier. He was supposed to cool down and yet fate was having so much joy making fun of his demise just a while ago.
Damien had been struggling in his mental debate whether or not he should just try to relieve himself right there as his manhood did not seem to want to rest and say goodnight — it was being so stubborn and stayed up.
Just as he had thought about wrapping his hand around himself, he heard the bathroom door open. There was an opaque smart gla.s.s door separating the shower but he knew that it was Katherine who just walked inside. Who else could it be?
Confused, he turned his head to the side and watched as the shadow of the figure from outside of the gla.s.s door slowly inched its way towards him.
"Katherine? What are you doing here?" he asked and thought, "Don"t be so reckless."
"Damien…"
She stopped in her tracks and he wasn"t sure what to do at that point until he heard her say -
"L-Let me… I... I want to help you."