Bristling with righteous indignation, I stalk off into his Red Sea wake. With only a few minor mishaps, I move in close behind him. I may be invisible but my body still responds to him and it makes me even madder. I"m tense at first, worried he"ll sense or smell me, but whatever the Book is doing that keeps my stalkers from locating me seems to work on Barrons, too. I wonder why he"s here. I wonder what he thinks happened to me. I"m itching to know what transpired after I left the abbey.
As we pa.s.s the guards (Fade and a ma.s.sive white-haired man with burning eyes) and ascend the sleek chrome stairs to the upper level of the club, I breathe more easily and focus on watching his every move so if he suddenly stops I don"t crash into his backside. Despite disliking him intensely at the moment, I have to admit it"s a d.a.m.n fine backside. He strides with the purpose I was aiming for, directly to Ryodan"s office, slaps a palm to the wall and steps inside, oblivious to one Ms. Lane, superspy, hot on his heels.
I realize, as the door hisses closed behind us, that I"m about to eavesdrop on an unguarded conversation between Barrons and Ryodan. Fascinating. To say I"m all ears is the understatement of the century. I glance down to make sure I"m not dripping, grateful the floor is gla.s.s and I"m not leaving indents in carpet that might give me away.
Ryodan is sitting behind his desk toying with a blackhandled, curved black blade that looks ancient. With the exception of the dark knife, the desk is empty. I imagine he had it cleaned more than a few times after Lor"s unexpected tryst last week. The ebony blade is highly polished and reflects the low light as he rolls it between his hands.
He"s dressed as impeccably as ever in tailored dark pants and a crisp pinstriped shirt rolled back at the cuffs, revealing thick, scarred forearms and a silver cuff that matches the one Barrons wears. It reminds me of the one I saw on Jada"s wrist last night, and I wonder absently where she got it. I didn"t get a clear look since it was half covered by her sleeve.
I move forward, taking care to not b.u.mp into anything, which is trickier than you think when you can"t see yourself, and inspect him curiously. Though I"d never let him know I think it, Ryodan is hot as h.e.l.l. If I were visible, I"d never stare this hard. Something about him discourages it. His chiseled features are stonier than usual, his jaw shadowed with stubble. Rather than his urbane businessman self, he seems more a savage mercenary forced to wear a suit. His thick short hair, nearly shaved at the sides, is standing up as if he"s been running his hands through it. Repeatedly. From those small details, I know Ryodan is deeply disturbed.
"No longer pretending to do paperwork," Barrons mocks.
Ryodan doesn"t bother to glance up. "She sent me a message this morning. Said if I don"t give her Mac, she"s going to demolish Chester"s. You believe that s.h.i.t. Threatening me. Few weeks ago she was a kid. Now she"s a f.u.c.king woman. A grown-up, self-possessed woman with a mind like my blade, cold as ice and on fire at the same time. Dangerous as h.e.l.l. She was dangerous when she was a kid."
"I sent a message to the abbey," Barrons says. "Said if they don"t give me Mac, we"re going to raze the f.u.c.king place."
Ah, so both sides think the other whisked me off somehow. The night must have ended in a hostile standoff. I"m surprised Ryodan didn"t head straight back to the abbey this morning with the Nine, abduct Jada, and lock her in his dungeon.
"You believe they have Mac," Ryodan says.
"Undecided. One moment I felt her, the next I didn"t. Haven"t felt her since."
"Worried about her." It"s a question, though Ryodan"s voice doesn"t rise at the end. I wait expectantly for Barrons"s answer.
"No."
I bristle. That"s it? A lousy no? Doesn"t he care? Is this what our relationship is going to come down to: me finding out while invisible that I don"t even matter to him?
"She"ll be back," Barrons says.
"She"s a vessel for the Sinsar Dubh, has virtually unlimited power at her disposal, there for the taking. I"m not certain you or I could resist such temptation."
He"s not? s.h.i.t, s.h.i.t, s.h.i.t. That"s it. I"m doomed.
"She managed it once. She"ll do it again. Mac"s got a light inside her that"s inextinguishable."
I beam, feeling ten feet tall and bulletproof. If Barrons"s faith in me is that unshakable, I can do anything. Then I scowl. If he had so much faith in me, he would have trusted me to handle what happened between us that first day. Eyes narrowed, I flip him the bird.
Ryodan says, "She looked eighteen, nineteen."
"Physically, I"d put her at twenty," Barrons says. "Mentally, closer to thirty, in hard war years."
If they"re talking about Jada aka possibly Dani, I agree with Barrons.
"She"s cold as ice."
"You used to worry she"d get herself killed before she managed to grow up," Barrons says. "Moot point now."
"She"s f.u.c.king beautiful."
Barrons studies him a moment then says, "Old enough for you."
"That"s not why I watched over her."
"Bulls.h.i.t. We all saw the woman she could become. Just didn"t think she"d do it so quickly."
"I wanted her to have- Ah, f.u.c.k, it doesn"t matter."
"The childhood she missed. It"s gone. Adapt."
Ryodan smiles faintly. "I loved watching her be young. c.o.c.ky. Swaggering around like she was invincible. She was supposed to have years of it."
"She"s still swaggering. And feeling invincible."
"She was healing. Until she and Mac fell out. It f.u.c.ked with her head. I was going to be the concrete pillar that held up the roof while she redecorated her bunker. Give her time to choose who she wanted to be. Thought if I could keep her from having to make any brutal choices for a few years, she"d merge. Let her rebel against me rather than taking on the whole world. That opportunity is gone now." Ryodan doesn"t say anything for a long moment. When he speaks again his voice is low, rough. "It"s as if my Dani died."
I catch myself about to suck in an audible shocked breath. I may be unseeable but I"m not unhearable. The grief in his voice made me abruptly aware of my own. If Jada really is Dani, I"ll never again see that gamine grin, those sparkling eyes, listen as she mutilates the English language as only Dani can. The night I chased her through the Silver was goodbye, my last look at the teen I"d grown to love as a sister. He"s right, it is as if my Dani died. The fourteen-year-old is gone, just gone, never coming back.
"When do we abduct her?"
Ryodan carefully places the dark blade on the empty desk and looks up. "We don"t. It won"t work with "Jada." She"ll only get more remote, harder. Lor"s going to lose it when he sees her. He adored the kid." He rubs his jaw and for a moment the only sound in the office is the scratch of rough beard against hand. I hold my breath, suddenly acutely aware of every noise my body might make. "Speaking of Lor, how the f.u.c.k am I supposed to get him back from being Pri-ya."
Barrons says, "He"s not Pri-ya."
"Mac said-"
"She lied," Barrons says flatly.
Gee, could you rat me out a little quicker, Barrons?
"And you didn"t tell me."
"There are a few things you didn"t tell me either. You knew Dani had an alter."
"Mac knows too much," Ryodan says, changing the subject.
"So does "Jada." It"s a different world now. Women are different. We evolve. As does our code."
"Convenient for you. Tell that to Kasteo. Ah, sorry you stupid f.u.c.k, you chose the wrong millennium to try to keep the woman you wanted."
"That"s not why we did what we did and you know it."
"What I know, brother, is you break every G.o.dd.a.m.ned rule for Mac."
"Back at you, Ry. Difference is, I"ll help you do it."
"Lor has never been Pri-ya." Ryodan shakes his head in disgust. "The princess can"t turn us. Son of a b.i.t.c.h, Mac"s a.s.s is-"
"Mine," Barrons says flatly. "You will never go there. You have a problem with Mac, you work it out with me. I am her shield, I am her second f.u.c.king skin."
Whuh. I don"t currently need one but it"s kind of a turn-on.
Growling, Ryodan pushes up and is out the door so fast, I freeze, uncertain who to stick with. Then Barrons makes my decision for me by taking off after Ryodan, and I have to run to keep up with them. I scowl down at my shoes. Though my boots have rubber soles, they"re still making noise. Fortunately, so are theirs.
I have no doubt where Ryodan"s going and I"m not missing it.
If Lor thinks this means he doesn"t still owe me a favor, he"s wrong. He got nearly the full two weeks he bargained for.
Barrons ratted him out. Not me.
26.
"Under my thumb, that Siamese cat of a girl"
LOR.
"You are, hands down, the hottest f.u.c.k I"ve ever had," Jo tells me as she collapses back on the bed, laughing. Her short dark hair"s a mess, her makeup"s gone, she"s slick with sweat and kinda gla.s.sy-eyed from lack of sleep.
And one d.a.m.ned hot f.u.c.k herself.
"G.o.d, where do you men come from? Are there more like the nine of you out there?"
I"m not going to say it. I don"t say stupid things like, "Better than the boss?"
Her face tightens and she closes her eyes. I kick myself mentally. There"s not a whole lot going on up there right now so kicking it doesn"t take much. Like, one foot and two toes. Not even the big one.
Jo"s been in my bed for twenty-four hours straight, leaving only to eat and p.i.s.s, before climbing back in and going at it again, one second a tigress spitting fire, the next snuggling up to me, a tiny slip of a woman under one of my arms, cheek on my chest like I"m not the bloodthirsty monster ancient cities called the Bonecrusher, who gorged on blood and death for breakfast and fueled their worst nightmares and lived by the motto "If you can"t f.u.c.k it, eat it, or use it for a weapon, kill it."
I"m also not going to skim her mind for the answer she didn"t offer. People think we can read thoughts. We can"t. We just hear what they"re thinking real loud, some of us better than others, on top of their brains. Humans give stuff away all the time, practically tattooing their darkest secrets in neon on their skulls for anyone to see. Perverse f.u.c.kers. If they shouldn"t think about it, they do. If they should think about it, they don"t. "What the f.u.c.k do you mean "not a chance"?" I bellow indignantly.
She props herself up on her side, elbow bent, cheek resting on a dainty fist, and stares at me with fascination. Her short spiky hair is sticking straight up around her delicate face and she looks abso-frigging-lutely delectable. "What are you doing? Reading my mind? Can you do that?"
She not as disturbed by the possibility as most humans. I unclench my jaw and growl, "You could have taken out a G.o.dd.a.m.n billboard as loud as that last thought was."
Her eyes sparkle with delight. "Can you help me find things in there? Maybe create a filing system?"
"Are you f.u.c.king kidding me?"
She drops back on the pillow, smiling. "I"ll make it worth your while. G.o.d, I can"t tell you how glad I am that I took Mac"s advice and came here! She was right. You are just what I needed."
"Mac told you to f.u.c.k me? As in sent you here?" I"m having a hard time deciding what I"m most p.i.s.sed off about: that she thinks the boss is hotter or that Mac took advantage of my supposedly Pri-ya state by lining up her friends to score an epic f.u.c.k. Women.
"I"m so glad you won"t remember any of this," she says cheerfully. "I can say anything. Do anything. Do you know how freeing this is? I may stay here for weeks!"
It"s like the thousandth b.l.o.o.d.y time she"s said the same b.l.o.o.d.y thing and I"m getting b.l.o.o.d.y sick of hearing it. I"m so glad I came to see you! And even gladder that you won"t remember any of it! f.u.c.k that noise. I"m remembering every G.o.dd.a.m.n detail.
"Exactly how is Ryodan hotter?" I don"t believe he is. "What does he do that I didn"t?" I can"t believe I just said that. But I"m doing all kinds of s.h.i.t I don"t do lately, getting trapped in magic, making deals with Mac, s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g a brunette for the first time in forever.
See, I got this hierarchy, and if blondes knew about it, they"d probably stop lining up at my bed. The lighter the blonde, the more perfect the roots, the less tempting they are to keep around. No woman over twenty-five is still platinum to the roots. Just ain"t happening if the babe ain"t Fae. The kind of woman that dyes her hair platinum is on the prowl for exactly what-and all-I"m willing to give: a f.u.c.k.
The darker the hair, the more complicated the deal. If she"s not obsessively maintaining her roots, her nails, her clothes, she expects things like discussions, dates, disclosures. b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l, she wants respect. Which I"m all about giving. I respect them the entire time they"re sharing my bed and I treat them great when they"re not, flirting them up, telling them how beautiful they are, while pointing them at the next man to help them get over me. I even get food for their kids, medicine and s.h.i.t, "cause times are tough. But if one of them starts to get clingy, I suddenly got a whole lot of work to do. Like, in another country.
By the time you work your way down the hierarchy to a brunette, you got yourself a woman who knows who she is, likes it enough that she ain"t gonna change, and is probably gonna try to change you, if push comes to shove.
Pushy, that"s what brunettes are. Even the dainty, fragile-looking ones.
Big-b.o.o.bed blondes are all about the fun, the sparkle, the bling, the heat, the moment. I love "em. I"m bugf.u.c.k crazy about "em. They keep my life simple and sweet. They don"t inspire any of the feelings that made me the Bonecrusher.
"It"s not what Ryodan does," Jo says slowly. "It"s more what he is." Her eyes take on a serious sheen. "He"s like, unbelievably brilliant, ten steps ahead of everyone else all the time."
Bulls.h.i.t. He"s not that smart. I beat him at Triad. Once. About ten thousand years ago.
"I used to think he didn"t care about anything or anyone, but he does. Just not me. His pa.s.sion runs deep. That"s why he"s always so controlled."
Give me a motherf.u.c.king break. He"s controlled because he"s a control freak, plain and simple. d.a.m.n near every time he moves us, he ends up running the empire: king, dictator, or rutting pagan G.o.d.
"I think he"s the glue that holds you guys together. You"re his family and he"d do anything to preserve it."
Okay, so she"s right about that. We had some dark times. Without the boss, I"m not sure where we"d all be. Scattered across the globe, if not galaxies. Living alone. Living hard. But he forced us to stay together. And we"re glad he did. Well, most of us are.
"I see how he feels about his world and I want to be one of the parts he prizes. I want to be worth fighting for. Worth the same kind of effort he puts into the things that matter to him. Like Dani."
I don"t tell her no human matters to the boss like Dani. "What the f.u.c.k does any of this have to do with s.e.x? You aren"t talking about hotness, babe. You"re talking about wanting the man that doesn"t want you as much as you want him, and probably only for that reason. Boss is no f.u.c.king prize." Chicks. Christ. They just don"t get it sometimes.
"Ryodan"s-" She breaks off and shakes her head sharply and I see the moment she decides to lighten it the f.u.c.k up-thank you!-but then she goes and screws things up by saying with a soft laugh, "Well, for one thing he"s not blond."
I glare at her suspiciously and shove a hand through my blond hair. I refuse to believe a woman-any woman-practices my hierarchy in reverse. "What the h.e.l.l does that have to do with anything?"
"Blond guys are hot and s.e.xy and ... well, fun and all that, but for some reason I usually avoid them. It"s the dark-haired guys that get me. I don"t know, I take them more seriously. They come off as more ..." She sighs dreamily. "... dangerous. Ryodan is definitely more dangerous than you. I mean, really, what do you do? You screw blondes and act like a caveman. But back to what I really want to know: can you read minds and could you help me organize my thoughts? And if so, what do you want in exchange?"
"Ryodan," I manage to say without snarling. Well, okay, so maybe I snarl a little. "You think he"s more dangerous." She not only just insulted my d.i.c.k and what I do with it, she"s now moved on to insulting my f.u.c.king existence.
"I don"t want to talk about him. I came here to forget him. Can we just not talk about him?"
"You"re the one who brought him up."
"I did not."
"Indirectly. Don"t tell me I"m the hottest f.u.c.k if I"m not."