Chapter 263
[14th Round] Discoloration
“Leave me alone!”
“Let it go~ let it go~! Can’t hold it back anymore~! Let it go~ let it go~!”
Sieg waved it off and began to sing a song popular on Earth.
He ran between the bodies of the goblins and heart-rendingly shouted its lyrics.
He looked pretty pathetic.
“This song is sticking in my head. Hubby, what’s it called?”
“I don’t know.”
t.i.tle: Let it go
It was suitable for describing how married men felt after leaving the banquet early because their wives were angry.
My demented senior most likely escaped while humming that song as well.
“Hero Sieg doesn’t seem to be doing well.”
There was a cure for his predicament.
In its music video, the older sister ran off singing the song. Her younger sister then chased after her with her boyfriend.
The older sister, realizing that her people needed her, soon returned home.
“Hmm… so he just needs a family.”
“Don’t worry. That’s Princess Sylvia’s role.”
There was a time when he was married.
To look more dignified in the eyes of his wife and father-in-law, he betrayed his race, making him no more than a servant of the elves, but it should be noted that those moments were his heyday.
If I set him up with Sylvia, maybe our journey would progress faster. His hostility towards me would certainly diminish, too.
“Marquis Sosiris, it’s not that n.o.body wants to marry me. I’m just focusing on myself right now. Of course, I’m not as charming as women of the human race, but I haven’t lost to them thanks to my royal status and eternal youth. Please take back what you said about me dating Sieg.”
“Oh, okay. Sorry.”
Sylvia had changed a lot too.
Who would have thought that Sylvia, a man-hater, was capable of polite conversations with people and could make logical arguments!
Still, she was right.
There was no man who wouldn’t want his wife to look young. Her disadvantage, of course, was her flat chest, but thanks to her royal status, they could easily turn a blind eye to that shortcoming of hers.
The current Sylvia was out of Sieg’s league.
In the past, she was in a situation where she simply had no choice, but it was different this time.
Now she could choose her own husband.
“Is that so… Only a saintess can understand how I feel…”
Hearing her shocking statement, Sieg took out his phone from his pocket and looked at the case, which depicted a character that resembled a saint from a game.
“Looks like he got better.”
His mood quickly improved thanks to the 2D character.
“Lanuvel! Let’s go to the Holy Kingdom and take the Saintess as my companion!”
Without wasting time, he decided to get the 3D version of it.
He was a B-ranked Hero, and he still had many flaws, but his quick recovery was commendable.
“Sieg, what makes you think your level is high enough for us to be talking about this?”
Lanuvel was, as always, stern in her statements.
“I’ll raise it fast!”
“Good. There’s a beginner dungeon nearby that will suit you. After you clear it, we’ll head to the Holy Kingdom.”
His journey was postponed, but Sieg easily agreed with everything.
“You mean that creepy slime dungeon, right? Watch closely. I’ll show you how great I am!” Sieg declared confidently, pushing Lanuvel away and stepping forward.
He had regressed so many times that he had already memorized the dungeon’s layout by heart.
Eventually, the B-ranked Hero and his companions arrived at the slime dungeon for beginners below level 30.
***
BOOM! WHOOK!
“Mullan?”
“Mullan?!”
Since he was against comparably weaker opponents, Sieg looked powerful as he exterminated innocent slimes, which gave a negligible amount of experience points, by piercing them with his dagger or simply stepping on them.
In response, the slimes fled deeper into the dungeon.
“Hahaha! Silly slimes! What makes you think I’ll fall for your stupid traps?”
Mullan…
The slimes tried to lure him, but they failed. He already had this entire dungeon’s structure memorized, after all.
But he didn’t know everything.
“Sieg! Let’s stop here for a bit!”
“Why is there a public toilet in a place like this?”
In this era, they installed rudimentary toilets in the dungeons to make sure the heroes wouldn’t have to relieve themselves in the corners of the cave like dogs.
“You paint yourself as if you’re so smart, but you’re not even aware of this? Dungeons having public restrooms is common knowledge.”
“That’s just not right…”
“One more thing. The toilets must be kept clean. If you break something or leave them dirty, you’ll be sanctioned to pay a compensation fee to the country it’s installed in. Do you see that magic ball on the ceiling? It’s how they keep track of visitors. To keep their privacy intact, they don’t monitor what happens inside the restrooms, but everything outside of it is supervised.”
As soon as Lanuvel finished explaining the situation, Ssosia went to the toilet.
I doubted the owner of the GG-rank Dark Energy couldn’t endure not going to the comfort room. She probably just wanted to satisfy her curiosity.
This was the first time she saw such a thing in a dungeon.
“She’s taking her time in there. Did she need to go to the bathroom that bad?”
Ssosia and I were connected by her curse, so I could easily find out where she was and what she was doing if I wanted to.
But I didn’t peep and decided to wait instead since I had already seen everything in there anyway.
But Sieg apparently thought differently.
“Hmm…”
He paced back and forth in front of its entrance.
It was a shared toilet, but even though he knew there was a woman inside and her husband was nearby, he kept behaving like that…
“That hero has no manners at all, Drug Hero.”
“True. Common sense has completely abandoned him.”
I despited such behaviors coming from a hungry male.
“It’s not like that! I just really need to use the toilet! Sieg was quick to make excuses.
Human psychology was such an interesting element.
In places where there were no toilets, people simply retreated into the bushes to relieve themselves instead of holding it in, but if there were one nearby, they would patiently stand in line, no matter how long the queue was.
The former was often the case at the beginning of a hero’s journey. However, upon reaching level 100, one would finally gain full control over that process, only losing it when they overeat or get sick.
Those around that level could spend around ten days without eating or going to the restroom.
Sieg was only level 31 right now, though.
Since this was just the second day of our journey, it couldn’t be said that his level was lagging behind. Regardless, it still didn’t allow him to control his physiology.
“Sir Hero Sieg, if you really can’t wait anymore, you can just do your business in one of this cave’s dark corners.”
“No, I’ll use the toilet!”
Was it because it had grown noisy outside? Ssosia soon emerged, and Sieg immediately rushed into the vacated room.
BAM!
As much as he was impatient, he didn’t forget to close the door.
“He should’ve told me he needed to go that bad. I would have gone faster.” Ssosia shrugged.
Surprisingly, she was now holding Master Mollan, who usually hid in her mean chest.
“What did you do in there that took you so long?”
“I went as fast as I could! Don’t look at me so suspiciously. I went in to see if there really is a flush toilet in this dungeon, but I didn’t find a flush or drainage. It’s a slime toilet.”
“Mollan-Mollan…”
Master Mollan seemed to be in a good mood since he raised his voice.
“Looks like Mollan liked the clever slime that works there. So I gave them time to talk.”
“Is that so…”
Grand Master Mollan had made a new friend. I, his pitiful disciple, had no right to complain about his behavior.
I respected Ssosia’s decision.
“You made the right choice!”
“Mollan isn’t as huge of a deal as you think… But the locals of El Molando, the homeland of all mollans, are.”
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while waiting for Sieg to come out, and we soon witnessed something terrible.
“Haha! I’ll reach level 100 in no time! I destroyed the slime that was hiding in that toilet and immediately got a lot of experience points. Hey! Lanuvel, report this to the Kingdom. It seems that the toilet broke down because of a monster.” Sieg sounded confident, pulling up his pants as he exited the comfort room.
We were speechless.
“How could you do something so terrible…”
“What a ruthless Hero…”
“Sieg! This is not a flush toilet!”
“Sir Hero Sieg, do you know what slime toilets are?”
Receiving criticisms instead of praise, he was at a loss.
“Yes, I do. It’s a very expensive pot, invented in Sage’s tower on the Northern Continent. Why would something like that be in such a worthless dungeon? That doesn’t make any sense!”
Sylvia immediately contested his words.
“You speak of olden times, Sir Hero Sieg. Listen to me carefully. About 2,000 years ago, a great prophet provided this world with flush toilets, thereby saving mankind. Slime toilets, replaced by flush toilets, have been installed in places that are difficult to have plumbing installed, like dungeons.
“W-well…”
Flush toilets again?
It looked like cell phones had now become available to everyone, which was why telephone booths had disappeared.
I apologized to all slimes working in slime toilets!
At that moment, something unexpected occurred.
“Mollan-Mollan!”
Master Mollan, who had lost his new friend, became outright angry. The other slimes also joined him.
“Mullan! Mullan!”
“Mullan! Mullan!”
“Mullan! Mullan!”
“Mullan! Mullan!”
Having tried to escape from Sieg’s ruthlessness before, the slimes stopped abruptly and began to sway in unison.
The ceiling of the dilapidated cave started to collapse as well.
Such events usually only happened in temporary caves after defeating its Main Boss.
Beginner dungeons didn’t fall into that category.
Ten seconds were simply not enough for a hero with a low level and weak skills to escape.
He was no exception.
“Marquis Sosiris! The earth spirits… Huh?!”
Sieg, who traveled with Sylvia during the 4th curriculum, shouted out the smartest solution to our current predicament.
If I used earth spirits here, we could avoid being buried alive.
But the slimes didn’t let it happen.
“Mullan! Mullan!”
“Mullan! Mullan!”
“Mullan! Mullan!”
“Mullan! Mullan!”
Already preoccupied with dodging stones falling from above, he was exposed to their attacks.
Lanuvel tried to help him, but…
“Sieg! The Snow Woman’s Feather… Whoa!”
“Mollan!”
Jumping off Ssosia’s hands, Master Mollan swallowed the Snow Woman’s feather that she was holding and instantly digested it!
“S-spare me… No!”
Sieg disappeared under the rubble of the destroyed cave.
He went back two days in time.
***
My Fantasy adventure had begun anew, and we were now on my 15th round!
If Ssosia and I disappeared, Sieg would think something was wrong, which was why we returned to him again.
We realized something important through that incident.
“Regression is just infuriating.”
“Yeah.”
We, the MAX-Cla.s.s Demon Lord and the Second Demon, had to repeat the same words and actions we said and did around Sieg for the past two days.
Thanks to my transcendental skills, I remembered everything down to the smallest details, but I had no desire to repeat everything from scratch. Fortunately, he only returned two days into the past.
I decided to be careful this round to avoid any unnecessary incidents like that.
‘Don’t die anymore, my friend!’
“Lanuvel! Let’s go to the Holy Kingdom and take the Saintess as my companion so she can heal my soul!”
“Sieg, what makes you think your level is high enough for us to be talking about this?”
Although Sieg didn’t lose his memory, he roughly repeated everything he did.
He apparently decided the “previous route” was good, aside from killing the slime.
“I’ll be able to raise it in no time.”
“Good. There’s a beginner dungeon nearby that will suit you. After you clear it, we’ll head to the Holy Kingdom.”
As a result, Lanuvel also repeated her advice and plan.
Pompously, Sieg replied. “You mean that worthless dungeon with slime toilets? Watch closely. I’ll show you how great I am!”
It was as if he wasn’t just buried alive in that same dungeon.
It made me think regression was truly a great way to wash away the shame of those who couldn’t adapt to life in society properly.