Fifty Bab Ballads

Chapter 23

"No," said the maiden, "go your way; You dare but think what a man would say, Yet dare to come a-suing!

I"ve time to lose and power to choose; "T is not so much the gallant who woos, As the gallant"s WAY of wooing!"

A third rode up at a startling pace - A suitor poor, with a homely face - No doubts appeared to bind him.

He kissed her lips and he pressed her waist, And off he rode with the maiden, placed On a pillion safe behind him.

And she heard the suitor bold confide This golden hint to the priest who tied The knot there"s no undoing; With pretty young maidens who can choose, "T is not so much the gallant who woos, As the gallant"s WAY of wooing!"



Ballad: HONGREE AND MAHRY. A RECOLLECTION OF A SURREY MELODRAMA.

The sun was setting in its wonted west, When HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores, Met MAHRY DAUBIGNY, the Village Rose, Under the Wizard"s Oak--old trysting-place Of those who loved in rosy Aquitaine.

They thought themselves unwatched, but they were not; For HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores, Found in LIEUTENANT-COLONEL JOOLES DUBOSC A rival, envious and unscrupulous, Who thought it not foul scorn to dodge his steps, And listen, unperceived, to all that pa.s.sed Between the simple little Village Rose And HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores.

A clumsy barrack-bully was DUBOSC, Quite unfamiliar with the well-bred tact That animates a proper gentleman In dealing with a girl of humble rank.

You"ll understand his coa.r.s.eness when I say He would have married MAHRY DAUBIGNY, And dragged the unsophisticated girl Into the whirl of fashionable life, For which her singularly rustic ways, Her breeding (moral, but extremely rude), Her language (chaste, but ungrammatical), Would absolutely have unfitted her.

How different to this unreflecting boor Was HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores.

Contemporary with the incident Related in our opening paragraph, Was that sad war "twixt Gallia and ourselves That followed on the treaty signed at Troyes; And so LIEUTENANT-COLONEL JOOLES DUBOSC (Brave soldier, he, with all his faults of style) And HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores, Were sent by CHARLES of France against the lines Of our Sixth HENRY (Fourteen twenty-nine), To drive his legions out of Aquitaine.

When HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores, Returned, suspecting nothing, to his camp, After his meeting with the Village Rose, He found inside his barrack letter-box A note from the commanding officer, Requiring his attendance at head-quarters.

He went, and found LIEUTENANT-COLONEL JOOLES.

"Young HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores, This night we shall attack the English camp: Be the "forlorn hope" yours--you"ll lead it, sir, And lead it too with credit, I"ve no doubt.

As every man must certainly be killed (For you are twenty "gainst two thousand men), It is not likely that you will return.

But what of that? you"ll have the benefit Of knowing that you die a soldier"s death."

Obedience was young HONGREE"S strongest point, But he imagined that he only owed Allegiance to his MAHRY and his King.

"If MAHRY bade me lead these fated men, I"d lead them--but I do not think she would.

If CHARLES, my King, said, "Go, my son, and die,"

I"d go, of course--my duty would be clear.

But MAHRY is in bed asleep, I hope, And CHARLES, my King, a hundred leagues from this.

As for LIEUTENANT-COLONEL JOOLES DUBOSC, How know I that our monarch would approve The order he has given me to-night?

My King I"ve sworn in all things to obey - I"ll only take my orders from my King!"

Thus HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores, Interpreted the terms of his commission.

And HONGREE, who was wise as he was good, Disguised himself that night in ample cloak, Round flapping hat, and vizor mask of black, And made, unnoticed, for the English camp.

He pa.s.sed the unsuspecting sentinels (Who little thought a man in this disguise Could be a proper object of suspicion), And ere the curfew bell had boomed "lights out,"

He found in audience Bedford"s haughty Duke.

"Your Grace," he said, "start not--be not alarmed, Although a Frenchman stands before your eyes.

I"m HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores.

My Colonel will attack your camp to-night, And orders me to lead the hope forlorn.

Now I am sure our excellent KING CHARLES Would not approve of this; but he"s away A hundred leagues, and rather more than that.

So, utterly devoted to my King, Blinded by my attachment to the throne, And having but its interest at heart, I feel it is my duty to disclose All schemes that emanate from COLONEL JOOLES, If I believe that they are not the kind Of schemes that our good monarch would approve."

"But how," said Bedford"s Duke, "do you propose That we should overthrow your Colonel"s scheme?"

And HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores, Replied at once with never-failing tact: "Oh, sir, I know this cursed country well.

Entrust yourself and all your host to me; I"ll lead you safely by a secret path Into the heart of COLONEL JOOLES" array, And you can then attack them unprepared, And slay my fellow-countrymen unarmed."

The thing was done. The DUKE of BEDFORD gave The order, and two thousand fighting men Crept silently into the Gallic camp, And slew the Frenchmen as they lay asleep; And Bedford"s haughty Duke slew COLONEL JOOLES, And gave fair MAHRY, pride of Aquitaine, To HONGREE, Sub-Lieutenant of Cha.s.soores.

Ballad: ETIQUETTE. {15}

The Ballyshannon foundered off the coast of Cariboo, And down in fathoms many went the captain and the crew; Down went the owners--greedy men whom hope of gain allured: Oh, dry the starting tear, for they were heavily insured.

Besides the captain and the mate, the owners and the crew, The pa.s.sengers were also drowned excepting only two: Young PETER GRAY, who tasted teas for BAKER, CROOP, AND CO., And SOMERS, who from Eastern sh.o.r.es imported indigo.

These pa.s.sengers, by reason of their clinging to a mast, Upon a desert island were eventually cast.

They hunted for their meals, as ALEXANDER SELKIRK used, But they couldn"t chat together--they had not been introduced.

For PETER GRAY, and SOMERS too, though certainly in trade, Were properly particular about the friends they made; And somehow thus they settled it without a word of mouth - That GRAY should take the northern half, while SOMERS took the south.

On PETER"S portion oysters grew--a delicacy rare, But oysters were a delicacy PETER couldn"t bear.

On SOMERS" side was turtle, on the shingle lying thick, Which SOMERS couldn"t eat, because it always made him sick.

GRAY gnashed his teeth with envy as he saw a mighty store Of turtle unmolested on his fellow-creature"s sh.o.r.e.

The oysters at his feet aside impatiently he shoved, For turtle and his mother were the only things he loved.

And SOMERS sighed in sorrow as he settled in the south, For the thought of PETER"S oysters brought the water to his mouth.

He longed to lay him down upon the sh.e.l.ly bed, and stuff: He had often eaten oysters, but had never had enough.

How they wished an introduction to each other they had had When on board the Ballyshannon! And it drove them nearly mad To think how very friendly with each other they might get, If it wasn"t for the arbitrary rule of etiquette!

One day, when out a-hunting for the mus ridiculus, GRAY overheard his fellow-man soliloquizing thus: "I wonder how the playmates of my youth are getting on, M"CONNELL, S. B. WALTERS, PADDY BYLES, and ROBINSON?"

These simple words made PETER as delighted as could be, Old chummies at the Charterhouse were ROBINSON and he!

He walked straight up to SOMERS, then he turned extremely red, Hesitated, hummed and hawed a bit, then cleared his throat, and said:

I beg your pardon--pray forgive me if I seem too bold, But you have breathed a name I knew familiarly of old.

You spoke aloud of ROBINSON--I happened to be by.

You know him?" "Yes, extremely well." "Allow me, so do I."

It was enough: they felt they could more pleasantly get on, For (ah, the magic of the fact!) they each knew ROBINSON!

And Mr. SOMERS" turtle was at PETER"S service quite, And Mr. SOMERS punished PETER"S oyster-beds all night.

They soon became like brothers from community of wrongs: They wrote each other little odes and sang each other songs; They told each other anecdotes disparaging their wives; On several occasions, too, they saved each other"s lives.

They felt quite melancholy when they parted for the night, And got up in the morning soon as ever it was light; Each other"s pleasant company they reckoned so upon, And all because it happened that they both knew ROBINSON!

They lived for many years on that inhospitable sh.o.r.e, And day by day they learned to love each other more and more.

At last, to their astonishment, on getting up one day, They saw a frigate anch.o.r.ed in the offing of the bay.

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