I didn"t walk, I ran back to the cabin. Once inside I bolted the door and washed my face and hands in the kitchen sink. I had to get the dirt off, as if that would wash Fin from me. I could still taste him in my mouth - still feel his hands on my skin. It wasn"t the shock of having Fin"s ghost pa.s.s through my body and soul that had me rattled, it was the fact that I finally knew up on the hill how much I missed him. How much he missed me.
With my hands gripping the edge of the sink, I stared out at the calm lake through the kitchen window until the shakes were gone. Until my breath no longer hitched and my heart rate returned to its normal beat. Only then could I make the short journey up the stairs to the man that was sleeping in my bed. The living and breathing man that loved me.
She sat with one leg tucked under her while the other dangled over the edge of the pier, her perfect toes hovering just inches above the water. Connor stood on the dirt trail and listened to her laugh. It was a loud, carefree and honest sound. He only heard this laugh from her when she thought they were alone...her and Fin.
He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and watched from a distance as Fin stretched out beside her, resting his palms on the wooden planks of the dock behind him as he leaned toward Riley, saying something that made her face the sky and laugh again. She shoved him, playfully. Fin retaliated by tickling her side until she squealed. They were flirting. With Connor right there. As if, he didn"t exist at all.
When Fin b.u.mped shoulders with Riley so he could whisper into her ear, he couldn"t take it anymore. He yanked his fists from his jeans and stomped toward the pier with every intention of punching the s.h.i.t out of Fin"s face. He"d show that a.s.shole who Riley belonged to, even if meant breaking every bone in his hands.
They must have heard him coming but they ignored him and he made it halfway down the pier before it happened. A pain ripped through his chest as the air left his lungs, almost as if he had been kicked in the gut. He skidded to a stop, flailing wildly at the railing to his right until the worn wood found his fingertips. He could almost feel the splinters digging into his skin as he gripped it for support while his mouth hung open in shock. He couldn"t take his eyes off of her. She was kissing Fin. Actually kissing the b.a.s.t.a.r.d!
When his breath returned, he yelled out a string of curses with so much force that his voice cracked. This infuriated him further so he screamed even louder at them. d.a.m.n b.a.s.t.a.r.d! f.u.c.ker! I"m going to beat every ounce of life out of your body! And still, they ignored him. Even as Connor ran full speed down the pier, they simply stood and began walking hand in hand toward him, seemingly oblivious to the fury on his face as he closed the gap in less than three seconds. He swung at Fin"s head and pivoted wildly as his fist met with nothing but air. Fin wrapped his arm around Riley"s waist as they pa.s.sed, tucking his fingers down inside her shorts while she giggled.
Connor felt nothing but rage as he swung at Fin"s head, again and again and again. Missing every time. As Fin and Riley walked away he followed just behind them, punching, swinging, kicking and cursing but nothing happened. It was as if Connor wasn"t there at all. By the time they reached the trail, he was exhausted. All he could do was watch as Fin pulled Riley into his arms and kissed her neck, her jaw, her mouth. As Fin"s hand roamed over the front of Riley"s shirt Connor snapped. He lunged himself forward but instead of slamming into Fin he went right through him, and ended up flat on his face in the dirt.
Their feet moved by his head as he rolled onto his side, crying out for Riley. Screaming at Fin"s back as they walked up the steps of Fin"s cabin. She"s mine...mine! The dust from the trail stuck to his face as tears flowed down his cheeks. Watching her walk away from him in the arms of another man tore his heart into pieces. It broke him completely. Riley. Please don"t leave me...Riley...
"Connor, wake up. It"s me, I"m here. Wake up."
Right after climbing back under the covers Connor began to kick the sheets and moan my name in his sleep. With one hand on his chest, I used the other to push back sweaty clumps of dark hair off his forehead.
"Connor," I said softly, "Please wake up, it"s me, Riley."
He bolted upright, bringing both hands to his chest and gripped my wrist so tightly it was almost painful. I pushed his hair back from his face again before lightly kissing his cheek. His entire body was slick with sweat.
"Riley?" his stammered as he wrapped his hands around my arm, pulling it back into his chest.
"Yes, I"m here. It"s okay. You had a bad dream."
My knees groaned from the pressure of sitting on my feet but I didn"t dare move until Connor was fully awake. As he slowly blinked the sleep away, I continued to touch his face, soothing him as best as I could. The nightmares were getting worse for both of us.
"Don"t leave me," he whispered.
"What? I"m not going anywhere," I said softly.
"Mine. You"re mine, right?"
I hesitated long enough for Connor to notice and our eyes met in the darkness. "Yes, Connor. I"m yours." His face relaxed slightly before he slumped back against his pillow, pulling me down with him so that I rested on his bare chest.
"Mine," he said one final time before drifting back into sleep.
When the sun peeked over the treetops and hit our cabin with its warmth, I was still awake with my head on Connor"s chest. I spent the first half hour of the new day staring at the fine, brown hair on one of his arms until he finally stirred.
"Morning," he said gruffly.
He stretched beneath me and I rolled off of him, onto my stomach. Three days of dark stubble filled the lower half of his face and down the front of his throat making it nearly impossible for me to focus on any coherent thought. The man oozed s.e.x, especially first thing in the morning. I fought off my usual morning instinct of kissing every inch of his face and pushed myself into a sitting position next to his hip.
"Good morning," I said softly.
Even the way he arched his brow at me was s.e.xy so I stared down at my hands while he shifted onto his side to face me.
"What is it?" he asked as he dragged a hand through his sleep-tousled hair.
"Do you remember your dream last night?" I chewed on my lower lip while he stared at me.
"My dream?"
"Was more like a nightmare."
"Did I wake you?" He sat up with a grunt and trailed one of his long fingers down the inside of my knee.
"Um. No, but you said something when you woke up." I shifted so we were facing each other. Connor dropped his hand onto the sheet and sighed deeply.
"Was it kinky?" he asked with a playful expression.
I swatted at his thigh and laughed. "No! I said you were having a nightmare."
"Oh yeah. Okay. Well, what did I say?" He smiled sleepily at me.
"You said not to leave you and asked if I was...yours." I watched the corners of his mouth tighten and his eyes fell from my gaze.
"Huh. What did you say?" he asked.
He wasn"t looking at me, so I lifted my hand to his face and rubbed his lower lip with my thumb. That got his attention. His bright blue eyes lit up with desire as I continued to caress his mouth with my finger.
"What do you think I said? That I was, of course."
Our mouths met with a sense of urgency. Connor kissed my breath away, not letting go of me until we were both panting. Clothes were ripped off and tossed to the floor, hands groped madly and mouths sucked on supple flesh until our bodies molded together as one. I pushed away all memories from the night before as Connor slid inside me and roughly pulled my hips against his repeatedly until my legs shook in antic.i.p.ation of what was to come. We needed each other. Completely.
This was it; he knew it was. The last time Connor would hold Riley in his arms before everything changed. She wanted to leave so he had no choice but to go with her. Something in his gut told him that this trip to lower Los Angeles was a mistake. He would never say it out loud to the others, but Mariah wasn"t worth it...nothing was worth losing Riley.
CHAPTER five.
The bedroom door flew open with such force that both Connor and I jumped from the mattress with our eyes still closed. Kris bounded into the room and squealed, covering her face with both hands.
"Oh my G.o.d! I did NOT have to see that!"
"What? What"s wrong?" I rubbed at my eyes briskly.
"You"re naked, both of you!" she screamed through her fingers.
I glanced down at my body and looked over at Connor, who stood at the foot of the bed, groggy and confused. We didn"t have a st.i.tch of clothing on.
After s.n.a.t.c.hing the top sheet from the bed and wrapping it around my body, I gestured for Connor to put something on, and before he pulled his jeans up and over his thighs, he winked at me. I was mortified. And he thought it was funny. Men.
"Sorry, Kris," Connor said as he closed the top b.u.t.ton of his pants.
"Hurry up! You have to see this!" she mumbled, refusing to take her hands from her face.
"See what? What"s wrong?" I asked again.
"You can take your hands down now, Kris. We aren"t naked anymore," Connor said with a chuckle.
She peered at me first, and sighed heavily when she saw me wrapped in only the sheet. "No, like, you have to get dressed, you know - in clothes. Meet me downstairs! And hurry!"
I watched her back as she rushed out of the room and listened to her sneakered feet running down the stairs.
"What"s that all about?" Connor asked as he tugged a shirt off the chair beside the bed.
"No idea," I mumbled, picking up my outfit from the night before.
We were dressed but still tugging on our shoes as we took the stairs down to the main level. Zoey rushed me, nudging my knees with her snout. "Good morning to you too, girl." The kitchen smelled faintly of oranges and oatmeal. We missed breakfast.
"Come on, come on!" Kris hissed from the front door. She was standing with her fingers curled around the k.n.o.b, excitement hitching her voice up an octave.
"What is it, Kris?"
She only smiled at me and opened the door, leading us out into the fresh mountain air. Connor and I had fallen back to sleep after our early morning escapades. It was mid-day already. The sun stretched out across the sky, high above our heads, warming my head and shoulders instantly.
After we were outside, Kris shut the cabin door, leaving Zoey inside. Confused, the dog stood up, placing her paws against the gla.s.s and gave us a single "woof". Her large brown eyes peered at me as her tongue lolled out the side of her mouth. She was silenced by Kris, who seemed to be getting more excited by the second.
"Zoey can"t come?" I asked.
"No, not this time. She"s probably safer here," Kris answered with a giggle.
Connor lifted an eyebrow at me in concern and rolled his eyes after I shrugged my shoulders. We followed Kris off the porch and across the dirt path that ended not far from our cabin steps. She walked right into the woods, just pa.s.sing by the tree where I saw Fin materialize into thin air the day before. If we fell too far behind her, Kris would beckon us to hurry with her arm, not stopping or turning around to face us, but watching the trees in front of her carefully.
"Kris, seriously...tell us what"s going on," I paused to lean against a thick pine tree after nearly ten minutes of walking through the scratchy brush and as Connor stopped behind me, he took the opportunity to run his hands up the back of my shirt.
"Stop!" I hissed playfully into his ear when he leaned forward for a kiss. Connor stuck his lower lip out in a pout, but released my bra strap without snapping it.
Anxiety filled her voice as Kris spoke over her shoulder, "We"re almost there, come on!"
I groaned and pushed myself from the tree, falling back in line behind Kris, Connor taking up the rear. Not long after that, I realized where we were. There was nothing in this part of the woods - nothing but the meadow.
Every twig beneath my shoe crunched and it seemed like the woods echoed with the sound; even the dead leaves that crumbled under my step sounded like fireworks as we slowed to an almost painfully slow walk. The smell of pine and sap drifted all around us, making my nose twitch. Kris lifted her hand up, signaling for us to be quiet, so we were. Only our footsteps and breathing could be heard. It was obvious she wanted to sneak up on something - or someone.
Just before we reached the circular patch of land that opened up to the size of a football field, she bent down behind the brush, signaling us to do the same. When I half squatted and half crawled beside her, she parted the bush, giving me a clean view of the meadow. Kris clamped her hand over my mouth but it did little to stifle the gasp.
"Oh my--," I muttered against my smashed lips.
"Sshh! You"ll scare them off!" Kris whispered against my cheek.
"Thay alwedy know wrrr hrrr," I answered.
"Huh?"
I swatted Kris"s hand off my mouth and rubbed at my lips. "I said they already know we"re here. Look at them."
Connor was kneeling in the dirt on my right, staring wide-eyed into the field with a boyish expression. The youthful look took at least ten years off his handsome features, and paired with the longer hairstyle he was sporting, he could have pa.s.sed for twenty-something. When he smiled, the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth that I loved so much crinkled, betraying his age.
We turned to stare out above the brush together in awe, with Kris huddled on the other side of me, quiet as a mouse. It was clear she didn"t have experience with the situation but she was excited...we all were.
Horses.
I approached the palomino mare first since she seemed to be the most curious of the pair. They did their best to ignore us while we hid behind the tree line; flicking their ears and glancing sideways across the field, but once I stood and left the safety of the trees, they stopped grazing and turned to face me.
Ragged pieces of what was left of the golden-colored horse"s halter hung from around her neck. She was without a headpiece and had no bit in her mouth. The ends of the material were chewed, as if she or the other mare had gnawed at the straps in an attempt to remove them. The bay, copper-red in color, stood only in her mangled coat. There weren"t any signs on her thick hair that she had been harnessed recently. Her back twitched as I reached out to stroke her friend, as if she was preparing herself to bolt or charge.
"Ssshhh, girl. Easy, now." I brought my palm up for the palomino to smell, feeling the hot air of her breath as she sniffed hesitantly at my hand. With the other, I reached up and stroked the side of her neck, reaching slowly up toward her ears, scratching gently at her matted and dirty coat. When I brought my hand away, it was brown from grime.
"Look at you, pretty girl. You need a bath and a good brushing, dontcha?" I cooed at her.
The bay stomped her right front foot down on the gra.s.s, but the palomino didn"t budge, in fact she looked down at my feet and bent her head forward, giving me permission to rub my hand up between her eyes. She had a white blaze that ran the length of her face in the shape of a narrow hourgla.s.s, with darker browns around her muzzle and nostrils. At one time, she was probably properly cared for, but it was obvious it had been many months since anyone had tended to either of the horses. Both were covered in dried mud that flaked off their legs, and burs and stickers filled their tails and manes. It didn"t appear that either was starving but they could stand to put on some weight. Though filthy and on the thin side, they were still beautiful.
"You made a new friend," Connor said quietly from behind me. I nodded silently, afraid to disturb the mighty horse that was relaxed beneath my hands.
The bay didn"t approve of his presence at all and stomped again in the soft dirt, shaking her long and tangled mane until it flew up around her head. She grunted and whinnied in protest and I saw Connor back away from the corner of my eye as the palomino stiffened against my palm.
She bolted away from me just as the bay charged in my direction. With only twenty feet or so between us, there was nowhere to hide - nowhere to run. My last thought before we collided was, Oh man, this is gonna leave a mark.
The bay rushed at me, stopping just short of my chest and slammed both feet into the ground before me in warning. She snorted in my face and whinnied so forcefully that her spittle sprayed across my forehead. Afraid to lift my hand and wipe at it, I tried to ignore the warm and gooey trickle that dripped off my left eyebrow.
When she realized I wasn"t going to challenge her, she sidestepped toward the nervous palomino, putting her wider frame between us, watching me carefully. Eventually I couldn"t stand the feeling of her spit dribbling down my face and slowly wiped the substance from my skin, transferring my wet hand to my jeans, rubbing my palm clean.
The three of us stood there, watching each other until my knees creaked. Eventually the bay turned her side to me, flicked her tail in the air and began grazing the gra.s.s once again. She looked up often, and seemed satisfied to see me standing in the same spot, but my legs were beginning to cramp. When I decided to sit down, I did so slowly, keeping my eyes on the large horse with the reddish-brown coat.
She ignored me completely for five minutes, before turning in my direction. I scrambled to my feet a second before she reached me, preparing for the worst. The palomino followed close behind her, making soft snorts through her nose. She didn"t seem happy either.