He slid me the evil eye again, but he did it with a grin, and that made me happy.
Apparently, the supervisor for the Office of the Medical Investigator had already done his part, so we could walk onto the crime scene. As we did, I ignored the plethora of sideways glances directed my way. The other officers have never understood how I do what I do, how I solve cases so fast, and they look at me with wary suspicion. I guess I can"t blame them. Wait a minute. Yes, I can.
Just then I noticed Garrett Swopes, aka pain-in-the-a.s.s skiptracer, standing over the body. I rolled my eyes so far back into my head, I almost seized. Not that Garrett wasn"t good at his job. He"d studied under the legendary Frank M. Ahearn, probably the most famous skiptracer in the world. From what I"d heard, thanks to Mr. Ahearn, Garrett could find Hoffa if he put his mind to it.
He was also easy on the retinas. He had short black hair, wide shoulders, skin like Mayan chocolate, and smoky gray eyes that could capture a girl"s soul if she stared into them long enough.
Thank G.o.d I had the attention span of a gnat.
If I had to guess, I would say he was only half African-American. The lighter skin tone and gray eyes screamed hybrid. I just didn"t know if his other half was Latino or Anglo. Either way, he had a confident walk and easy smile that turned heads wherever we went. So, looks were certainly not an area he needed to work on.
No, Garrett was a consummate pain in the a.s.s for other reasons. As I stepped into the light, he looked at the bruises on my jaw and smirked. "Blind date?"
I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I"m good at mult.i.tasking like that. Garrett just smirked. Again.
Okay, it wasn"t his fault he was an a.s.s. He used to like me until Uncle Bob, in a drunken stupor, told him our little secret. Naturally, he didn"t believe a word of it. Who would? That was about a month ago, and our friendship took a nosedive from barely there to nonexistent. He"s pretty much slotted me for the loony bin. And Uncle Bob, too, for believing I can actually see the departed. Some people have no imagination.
"What are you doing here, Swopes?" I asked, a little more than annoyed that I had to deal with him.
"I thought this might be one of my skips."
"Is it?"
"Not unless meth heads wear three-piece suits and fifteen-hundred-dollar Crisci loafers."
"That"s too bad. I"m sure it"s much easier to collect your fee when the skip is dead."
Garrett shrugged, semi-agreeing.
"Actually," Uncle Bob said, "I asked him to stick around, you know, for an extra set of eyes."
I was doing my darnedest to keep my own eyes off the body-dead people I could handle, dead bodies not so much-but a movement in my periphery had me zeroing in on that very thing.
"So, are you getting anything?" Uncle Bob asked-he still thinks I"m psychic-but I was too busy staring at the dead guy in the dead body to answer.
I inched over and nudged the body with my foot. "Dude, what are you still doing in there?"
The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. "I can"t move my legs."
I snorted. "You can"t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You"re dead."
"Jesus H.," Garrett said through clenched teeth.
"Look." I turned to face him head-on. "You play on your side of the sandbox, and I"ll play on mine. Comprende?"
"I"m not dead."
I turned back. "Hon, you"re as dead as my great-aunt Lillian, and trust me, that woman is now in a perpetual state of decomposition."
"No, I"m not. I"m not dead. Why isn"t anyone trying to revive me?"
"Um, because you"re dead?"
I heard Garrett mutter something under his breath, then stalk off. Nonbelievers were such drama queens.
"Okay, fine, if I"m dead, how am I talking to you? And why are you so sparkly?"
"It"s a long story. Just trust me, mister, you"re dead."
Just then, Sergeant Dwight walked up, all crisp and formal looking in his APD uniform and military buzz. "Ms. Davidson, did you just kick that dead body?"
"For heaven"s sake, I"m not dead!"
"No."
Sergeant Dwight tried his hand at a death stare. I tried not to giggle.
"I got this, Sergeant," Uncle Bob said.
The sarge turned to him, and they eyed each other a full minute before he spoke. "Would you mind not contaminating my crime scene with your relatives?"
"Your crime scene?" Uncle Bob asked. A vein in his temple started pulsing.
I considered popping the rubber band at his wrist, but I still had doubts as to its efficacy. "Hey, Uncle Bob," I said, patting his arm, "let"s go over here and talk, shall we?"
I turned and left without waiting, hoping Uncle Bob would follow. He did. We strolled past the spotlights to a tree and a.s.sumed innocuous conversational positions. I tossed a smile to Sergeant Dwight Yokel that leaned heavily toward smart-a.s.s. I think he growled. Good thing I wasn"t into people-pleasing.
"Well?" Uncle Bob asked as Garrett reluctantly rejoined us.
"I don"t know. He won"t get out of his body."
"He what?" Garrett raked a hand through his hair. "This is cla.s.sic."
I ignored him and watched as Sussman walked over to a third dead person on the scene, a striking woman with blond hair and a fire engine red skirt suit. She screamed femininity and power. I liked her instantly. Sussman shook her hand. Then they both turned to look at the only dead person present lying in a pool of his own blood.
"I think they know each other," I said.
"Who?" Uncle Bob asked, glancing around as if he could see them.
"You got an ID on this guy?"
"Yeah." He fished out his notebook, reminding me I needed to dash into Staples. All my little notebooks were filled to maximum capacity. As a result, I kept writing pertinent information on my hand, then accidentally washing it off. "Jason Barber. A lawyer at-"
"Sussman, Ellery, and Barber," Sussman said in unison with Uncle Bob.
"You"re a lawyer?" I asked him.
"Sure am. And this is my partner, Elizabeth Ellery."
"Hey, Elizabeth," I said, reaching out to shake her hand. Garrett pinched the rim of his nose.
"Ms. Davidson, Patrick told me you can see us."
"Yep."
"How-?"
"Long story. But first," I said, heading off the barrage of questions, "let me get this straight: You are all three partners at the same law firm, and you all three died last night?"
"Who else died last night?" Uncle Bob asked, tearing through his notebook.
"We were all three murdered last night," Sussman corrected. "All nine-millimeter double taps to the head."
Elizabeth raised her perfectly arched brows at him. "Double taps?"
He smiled sheepishly and tried to kick the dirt at his feet. "I heard the cops talking."
"I only got two homicides."
I looked up at Uncle Bob. "You have only two homicides from last night? There were three."
Garrett went still, probably wondering what I was up to, how I could know any such thing since I couldn"t possibly see dead people, so dead people couldn"t possibly tell me they were dead. It just wasn"t possible.
Uncle Bob studied his notebook. "We got a Patrick Sussman found outside his home in the Mountain Run area, and this guy, a Jason Barber."
"Okay, here with us now is Patrick Sussman ... the Third," I said, tossing Sussman a grin, "and Jason Barber. But he"s in denial right now." I looked over as the coroner zipped the body bag.
"Help!" Barber yelled, squirming like a worm in a frying pan, "I can"t breathe!"
"Oh, for heaven"s sake," I whispered loudly. "Would you just get up?"
"And?" Uncle Bob asked.
"Elizabeth Ellery was killed, too," I said, hating to do it with her standing right there. It just felt awkward.
Garrett was now eyeing me with open hostility. Anger was a common emotion when faced with something impossible to believe. But quite honestly, f.u.c.k him.
"Elizabeth Ellery? We don"t have an Elizabeth Ellery."
Elizabeth was studying Garrett. "This guy seems a little upset."
I nodded my head. "He doesn"t believe I can see you guys. It"s upsetting him that I"m talking to you."
"That"s too bad. He"s-" She inclined her head to study his backside. "-nice looking."
I chuckled, and we did a discreet high five, making Garrett even more uncomfortable. "Do you know where your body is?" I asked her.
"Yes. I was going to visit my sister near Indian School and Chelwood. I had a present for my nephew. I missed his birthday party," she added sadly, as if realizing at that moment that she would miss all the rest as well. "I heard the kids playing in the backyard and decided to sneak up to surprise them. That"s the last thing I remember."
"So you didn"t see the shooter either?" I asked.
She shook her head.
"Did you hear anything? If you were shot, surely-"
"I don"t remember."
"He used a silencer," Sussman said. "It sounded weird, m.u.f.fled, like a door slamming."
"The shooter used a suppressor," I relayed to Uncle Bob. "And neither of these two saw who did it. Where is your body, exactly?" I asked Elizabeth. As she told me, I repeated the address to Uncle Bob. "She"s around the side of the house. There are lots of bushes, which could explain why no one has found her."
"What does she look like?" Uncle Bob asked.
"Um, Caucasian, about five-ten," I said, calculating her height minus the three-inch heels.
"Hey, you"re good," she said.
I grinned appreciatively. "Blond hair, blue eyes, a light birthmark on her right temple."
She wiped at her temple self-consciously. "I think that"s blood."
"Oh, sorry. The coloring is sometimes a bit hazy." I pointed helpfully to Uncle Bob"s notebook. "Scratch that birthmark." Then I looked up at him. "She should pretty much be the only dead person there in a red designer skirt suit and stilettos."
Garrett almost snarled at me. "Get in my truck," he ordered through his teeth, "and bring the dead chick with you." He said the last bit sarcastically.
I turned back to Uncle Bob. "Are you going to let him talk to me that way?"
Uncle Bob shrugged. "He does have a mean apprehension record."
"Fine," I said in a huff. Not that I couldn"t handle Garrett. I just wanted to complain. Before leaving, however, I had to deal with Barber. Elizabeth, Sussman, and I strolled over to the ambulance as the coroner was talking to Sergeant Dwight. Barber"s nose was peeking out of the body bag. "Dude, I"m not kidding-you have to get out of your body. It"s freaking me out."
He leaned up just enough for me to see his face. "It"s my body, dammit. I know the law, and possession is nine-tenths of it. And as for you," he said, pointing a finger out of the bag, "aren"t you supposed to be here for us? To aid us in our time of need? Isn"t that what you do?"
"Not if I can help it."
"Well, I have two words for you: compa.s.sion fatigue," he said, his voice accusatory.
I turned to Sussman and sighed. "n.o.body appreciates my inability to appreciate their situation. Could you please talk some sense into him?"
Garrett stood by his truck, stewing over the fact that I hadn"t followed him to it like a groveling puppy.
"Davidson!" he yelled over the hood.
"Swopes!" I volleyed, mocking the long-standing tradition of referring to comrades by their last names. I looked back at my lawyers. "Meet us at my office later."
Sussman nodded, then glared at Mr. I"m Not Dead as a Doornail in August.
Elizabeth walked beside me to Garrett"s truck. "Can I sit beside the hunk?"