JIM
That"s like them. That"s very like them. Yes, they"d do that!
_The curtain falls and the laughter still howls on._
THE LOST SILK HAT
PERSONS
THE CALLER THE LABORER THE CLERK THE POET THE POLICEMAN
_Scene: A fashionable London street._
THE LOST SILK HAT
_The Caller stands on a doorstep, "faultlessly dressed," but without a hat. At first he shows despair, then a new thought engrosses him._
_Enter the Laborer._
THE CALLER
Excuse me a moment. Excuse me--but--I"d be greatly obliged to you if--if you could see your way--in fact, you can be of great service to me if--
THE LABORER
Glad to do what I can, sir.
CALLER
Well, all I really want you to do is just to ring that bell and go up and say--er--say that you"ve come to see to the drains, or anything like that, you know, and get hold of my hat for me.
LABORER
Get hold of your "at!
CALLER
Yes. You see, I left my hat behind most unfortunately. It"s in the drawing-room (_points to window_), that room there, half under the long sofa, the far end from the door. And if you could possibly go and get it, why I"d be (_The Laborer"s expression changes_)--Why, what"s the matter?
LABORER (_firmly_)
I don"t like this job.
CALLER
Don"t like this job! But my dear fellow, don"t be silly, what possible harm--?
LABORER
Ah-h. That"s what I don"t know.
CALLER
But what harm can there possibly be in so simple a request? What harm does there seem to be?
LABORER
Oh, it seems all right.
CALLER
_Well_, then.
LABORER
All these crack jobs do seem all right.
CALLER
But I"m not asking you to rob the house.
LABORER
Don"t seem as if you are, certainly, but I don"t like the looks of it; what if there"s things what I can"t "elp taking when I gets inside?
CALLER
I only want my hat--Here, I say, please don"t go away--here"s a sovereign, it will only take you a minute.
LABORER
_What I want to know_--
CALLER
Yes?
LABORER
--Is what"s _in_ that hat?