Chapter 21: Pondering a Painful Experience
Not dead, happy yet?
The next few days, I would often go to the internet cafe to check if I had received any emails. I actually did receive a new mail in my mailbox. I excitedly paid my respects to G.o.d, Allah and the G.o.ddess of Mercy. I s.h.i.+vered and almost clicked on the b.u.t.ton that would read out the mail. The mail was indeed sent by Xiao Xi and there were a few sentences:
“I have received your email. Due to some circ.u.mstances at home, I will not be able to reach school on time. You should head down with Fang Yu Ke first.
Also, call me if anything happens. I don’t check my email often. Please excuse me.”
I read that message and pondered over it many times. I only turned off the computer off and left when I could recite all 45 words by heart. I pondered about it very painstakingly for a long time. How could I talk to him for a long time without being a disturbance? Sending email was the easiest way that I could think of. If it didn’t work out, I could refuse to acknowledge it, misread it and even lie to myself about what his emotions and feelings were upon receiving the mail. However, I didn’t expect that I would get rejected on my first try. The question that I had so confidently asked myself had went ignored and my attempts at trying to win his favor had also not been acknowledged at all. I still had yet to experience the first exchange between two lover’s eyes, in which the beginning of school would be meaningless without the lead character. Officially alienated, I didn’t even get a single chance before I was cast out, causing me to break off any strand of hope. The 7th day of Chinese New Year had yet to arrive but I gave my mother a random excuse and set off to Beijing alone.
I didn’t want to come back with Fang Yu Ke. First, there was my relations.h.i.+p with Ru Ting. I didn’t want to experience her wrath just because I spent too much time with him. The second reason was because I wanted to use this as a way to rebel against what Xiao Xi had written in his letter. Just because he said it didn’t mean that I had to do so. Even though I knew that my act of rebellion meant nothing in the eyes of others and Xiao Xi.
It was very cold in school. Even the teaching building of the first year uni students, had few people. Even the canteen had only one stall open and it just had to be the one that was furthest from my dorm. In order to avoid having to avoid such troublesome things like changing my clothes to leave the house, I bought a big haversack, turned off my handphone, unplugged the phone wire and prepared to hibernate.
In this way, I slept muddle-headedly for a few days until I could no longer sleep anymore. Only now, did I turn on the computer and get on the Internet with my swollen face. TLN: This is the true horror of school…making it so students sleep for 36ish hours straight until they recover Mwahahaha The login page automatically started blinking, notifying me of a new message. I clicked on it to check my email. The sender was called “Heart Jumps”. The content was extremely tyrannical: 22:05 Have you died? 22:50: If you’re alive please let out a small sound. 23:00 Why did you run back to school? Remember to charge your phone 23:20: You intentionally turned off your phone? 23:25: Why did you also disconnect your dorm phone?
My brain was still foggy, but I remembered that “Heart Jumps” was Fang Yu Ke. On the message construction page, I wrote: “Not dead, disappointed yet?”
Fang Yu Ke’s icon immediately lit up: “You scoundrel, I just found out today that you went home first. No loyalty.”
The impression that Fang Yu Ke gave me was more and more like a demon. Although his words were venomous through and through, he was a good brother.
I put on a very sorry expression and wrote: “Thinking of me so much!