Later mornings: Set aside for work. If you work from home, don"t do any household duties.
Afternoon: Do the household duties. Or more work.
Late afternoon: Spend time with kids. Block out work.
Early evening: Some personal time. Let the kids do their homework, and you focus on yourself.
Late evening: Read to your child, spend a little quiet time with her, put her to bed.
Obviously this is just an example, and won"t work for everyone. You"ll need to find the schedule that works for you. Perhaps you work best in the evenings, or you can"t do any work until your spouse gets home to take care of the kids, or you need to spend time with the kids all morning. There"s no One Size Fits All when it comes to parenting, but to the extent that you can block off your day, it helps.
You"ll also need to be flexible. It can be a problem when someone is so fixed on a daily routine that disruptions to the routine -- a last minute meeting, a call from your kids" school that your daughter is sick -- will cause anxiety. As parents, of course, we learn to adapt, to deal with interruptions and changes. We need to calmly accept changes to our schedule, but as we switch to a new role (parenting, work, personal, civic, etc.), we need to learn to do only that role, again to the extent possible.
very young children.
I should note that it"s harder for parents of babies and toddlers. The younger the child, in general, the more demanding on your attention the child can be. That"s not a hard-and-fast rule, of course, but in my experience (I have six kids), it gets easier to focus on other things as the child gets older.
So how do you segregate roles and find focus when your child is young and always demands your attention? It"s not easy, I"ll say that. The best solution involves both parents pitching in, and giving the other a break once or twice a day. So instead of both parents taking care of the child, they take turns, and one gets some quiet time for a walk, reading, work, creating, hobbies, exercise. Then they switch.
Of course, there are also naptimes. If your baby is so young that you"re not getting very much sleep, you"ll probably want to rest when your baby rests. But otherwise, take advantage of naptimes and get some "you" stuff done. Take advantage of the quiet times, too, in the early morning before your child is awake, and at night when the child has gone to sleep.
Another solution is to get help: a professional babysitter, daycare for half a day, one of your parents who might be retired, a neice or nephew who is trustworthy and has a couple hours after school. While some of these solutions will cost some money, it might be worth the expense. You might also find another parent who needs help, and swap babysitting.
on technology.
Parents who are used to being connected in some ways might be better off by learning to embrace disconnection.
Imagine you"re taking a walk in the park with your child... it"s a lovely day, and it"s the perfect quiet moment between you and your young one. Then your phone beeps, and you know you have a new email. Well, you"ve been waiting for something from the boss or client, so you have the urge to check. It"s just going to take a few seconds -- no problem right?
Well, it"s a problem. This small distraction takes you from the moment with your child, and back to the world of work. It ruins it, even if only slightly. It also teaches your child that this email is more important than she is -- you can"t make the effort to be totally present with your child, because of important work emails. That"s not the best message to send.
I don"t mean to be preachy -- I"m guilty of these distractions from time to time too. But it"s something we should become aware of and if possible, take measures against. Turn off the phone, shut off notifications, and be present.
When you"re at home, you can be on the computer all the time, while your child is calling for attention. Turn the computer off for stretches of time, and give your undivided attention to your child. When it"s time to work, or create, find a way to do so without the interruptions of children, and focus. But the rest of the time, shut off the computer.
2: the problem of others.
In a perfect world, you could learn to beat the urges that defeat you and create an environment of focus... and just focus. But we live and work in a world with other people, and that can make finding focus difficult.
Often, our lives aren"t completely under our control. Sometimes, others can stand in our way, or just make things tough. Often other people can make a big impact on our ability to simplify and create. Let"s take a look at some of those types of situations, and some solutions that can help.
service industries.
If you work in a service industry, finding focus by cutting out all distractions might seem impossible. After all, you have to respond to customers pretty much immediately, and ignoring them in person or not responding to their calls or emails isn"t really an option. Someone in the service industry must be on their toes, and work non-stop, often mult.i.tasking the whole time.
Sure, but there are some choices: While you"re serving customers, do only that. Don"t also deal with other problems, if possible, or work on other tasks. Be in the moment as much as possible, dealing with each customer while fully present. You"ll do a better job for the customer and connect much more deeply on a human level. It"s hard to do well on a customer call if you"re also dealing with emails, or serve a customer in person well if you"re also looking at your iPhone.
Try to serve one customer at a time. This isn"t always possible either, but when you can do it, it"s much better -- for the customer 120 and for your sanity levels. Deal with one customer"s email at a time, one call at a time, one customer in person at a time. When possible.
Find some time on the job for focus. If you have other things to do than deal directly with customers, try to separate the two responsibilities, so that you can deal with customers during one part of your day and find focus during another part of your day. Even if it"s just for 30-60 minutes, clearing distractions can make a big difference.
Find ways to reduce the load. While customer problems and requests are always important, there are ways to reduce the demands on your time. Automating is a good example -- allow people to order or file something online, for example, instead of filing the orders with you manually, or find other online solutions to the things you handle on a regular basis. Putting up a Frequently Asked Questions on a website can help reduce problems and questions. Outsourcing customer calls might be an option. Narrowing your services can help. All of these are dependent on you having control over the business, but if you do, consider the many alternatives that might reduce your workload and interruptions.
Find focus in your personal life. If most of your life is spent dealing with non-stop customer problems, complaints and requests, then you might try to find a time for calm, without distractions. Don"t be connected all the time, don"t be on the phone or doing text messages -- cut off from the distractions, slow down, find solitude, and let your mind rest.
staff / co-worker interruptions.
If you have staff or co-workers who rely on you, you might be constantly interrupted (in person, by phone, via instant messages, by email) by people who need decisions made, conflicts managed, problems solved, requests fulfilled.
So how do we find focus with these kinds of constant, urgent interruptions? There are many possible solutions, and not all will apply to everyone, but here are some ideas: Remove yourself as a bottleneck. It"s almost impossible to find a moment of peace when all decisions, all problems, must come through you. So train others to make these decisions. Set guidelines for making the decisions so that they"d make the same decisions you would in those circ.u.mstances. Set criteria for calling you or interrupting you, so that only decisions above a certain threshold of importance will come to you. Find others who can handle the problems, instead of you. Sure, it"ll mean you have less control, but it"ll also mean you have fewer interruptions.
Set hours of unavailability. Set office hours, or hours when you must not be interrupted except for absolute emergencies. Then you can deal with problems/requests at certain times of the day, and focus during other times.
Delegate a backup decision maker. If you"re a manager/owner, set up a second-in-command, so that when you"re away from the office, or if you take a few hours off for uninterrupted time, problems can still be solved. Train the second-in-command so that she knows how to make the decisions appropriately.
Set expectations. Staff or coworkers only interrupt you because they have the expectation that you"ll respond and that it"s OK to interrupt you at any time. If you change those expectations, you can channel the requests/problems to a time that you want to deal with them. For example: tell people that you only check email at 3 p.m. (or whatever works for you), because you need to focus on other work, and that they shouldn"t expect a response sooner. Or tell people that you will no longer take calls or text messages after 5 p.m., but that they should email you instead and you will respond to their emails in the morning. Or whatever works for you -- the point is to set a plan of action and manage the expectations of others so that you can stick to that plan.
Be in the moment. If you"re unable to get away from the interruptions, then learn to deal with each interruption one at a time, when possible, and give your full attention to each person, each problem, as you deal with them. This allows you to be less stressed and to deal calmly and fully with every person who needs your attention.
Focus when away from work. If you can"t find focus at work, because of the need to be interrupted at all times, at least find time away from work when you can clear away distractions and find time for quiet, peace, reflection, reading, writing, creating.
bosses.
What if your boss is the problem -- he or she won"t allow you to make the changes you need to find focus? That"s a definite problem -- the boss might expect you to answer texts, emails, calls immediately, to attend meetings all day long, to be busy at all times, to work long hours, to take calls after hours and do work at night... in short, to be inundated by interruptions at all hours.
Unfortunately, there are only so many things you can do if things aren"t under your control. Here are a few ideas: Talk to your boss. Often, bosses can be very reasonable if you give them a compelling argument, and especially if you"ve proven yourself in the past. Sit down and talk to your boss about your desire to find focus, and explain that this will increase your productivity and creativity. Give him a copy of this book if you think it"ll help (or just email the chapter specifically for managers). Ask for some specific changes, and suggest a test period of a week or two, in which you make the changes and show the results.
Change what"s under your control. If there are some things you can"t change, then figure out what you can change, and focus on that. If you can"t change your hours, at least declutter your desk and computer. If you must answer all emails at all times, at least learn to block other things on the Internet that distract you.
Work away from the office. You might have the flexibility to work from home or at a coffee shop or library away from the office, or you might make a compelling argument for this change. Take this opportunity when you can, and bring a pair of earphones, turn on some peaceful music (or energizing music if you prefer), clear away distractions, and focus.
Prove that it works. Make what changes you can, and show that it can bring results. Solid evidence is the best way to win over the boss.
Or find another job. If your job is horrible, and your boss isn"t reasonable, or the demands are too crazy and you can"t possibly find the time to focus, it might be worth considering a change of jobs. That"s your decision, not mine, but I changed jobs at least twice when I was unhappy with the expectations, and both times it was a very good change for me.
unsupportive people.
Another problem is that people in our lives can sometimes be unsupportive, or flat out against changes we want to make. If this person is a spouse or significant other, or someone else upon whom we depend, this can make things very difficult. Nearly impossible, sometimes.
This is actually a very common problem, and I can"t give you solutions that will work in all cases. I can share some things that have worked for me, in hopes that they might help: Don"t force. When we try to push others to make changes, they often resist. It"s not smart to try to force other people to make the changes you want to make. Instead, try some of the tips below -- setting an example, sharing, asking for help.
Share why it"s important, and how it affects you. Communication is important here -- sit down and talk to this person (or people) about why you want to make these changes, why it"s important to you, what it"ll help you to do. Share the positive effects as you make the changes, and also share the problems you"re facing. This type of open communication can help persuade the other person to get on board with your changes, if done in a non-pushy, non-judgmental way.
Enlist their help. When you ask someone to change, they will probably resist, but when you ask them to help you change, that"s much more likely to succeed. Try as best you can to make it a team effort -- working together is a much better proposition than working against each other.
Set an example. If the other person doesn"t want to change, that"s OK. Make the changes yourself, and show how great it is. If the other person is inspired by your example, that"s even better. Often leading by example is the most persuasive technique there is, but dont" be disappointed if the other person doesn"t decide to follow your example. Be happy with the changes you"ve made yourself.
Change what you can. If the other person is unsupportive, there might be limits to what you can change. Recognize these boundaries, and work within them.
3: managers transforming office culture.
If you"re an employee with little control over your schedule, there might not be too many ideas for finding focus that you can implement during your work day. In that case, I suggest you 1) implement what you can; and 2) buy a copy of this book for your manager and/or upper management, and especially point them to this chapter.
The rest of this chapter is for management: CEOs, vice presidents, supervisors, middle managers, small employers. Bosses of all kinds. Anyone who controls the schedules of others, or has influence on the policies and office culture that determine how people work.
The Problem: Modern offices pride themselves on efficiency and productivity, but the truth is they are busy, hectic, overwhelming places (in general). Employees often work in cubicles that are surrounded by distractions, they are constantly interrupted by emails, IMs, texts, calls, notifications, calendar requests, people walking over to talk to them, outbursts in the office, meetings.
These distractions destroy focus. They lead to stress, to information overload. They fragment an employee"s day and attention, so that it becomes an extremely bad environment for creating, for focusing on what"s truly important, for producing incredible work.
Busywork isn"t important work. While an employee can be busy for 10 hours a day, keeping up with all the emails and calls and meetings and nonstop requests, they might spend the day getting nothing done of any real importance. What matters is creating, is producing the next great thing that will become the cornerstone of your business, is improving the quality of your product so that the customer takes notice, is providing truly great service. Busywork isn"t what matters, and yet it interrupts us and consumes all of our time and attention.
The Solution: create an environment where focus is possible.
There are many such environments, but to give you a picture of what"s possible: The employee comes in, sits down, and figures out what matters most for today. What are the 3-5 tasks that most need to get done, that will make the most difference for the company or organization? No checking email or voicemail at this point -- just quiet, and focus.
He then sits down and, with a completely clear desk, blocks out all distractions -- no phones or other mobile devices, no email, no notifications, nothing to disrupt. He works on the first task on the list.
Later, he might go through email and voicemail and process everything that needs to be quickly processed, for 30 minutes or so.
During the day, his focus is completely on the tasks that matter most. Very few meetings or calls interrupt these tasks.
At the end of the day, the employee might have a short meeting with you, just to review the day, go over any problems, and perhaps agree on tomorrow"s important tasks. Meetings should be held to a minimum, as they are time-consuming and can interrupt the time needed to focus on important tasks. They should also be kept as short as possible.
This is obviously just one way of creating a focused environment, but it won"t work for everyone. There are lots of ideas that might help create such an environment, including but not limited to: Email-free Mondays: Everyone is free from email -- banned from email in fact -- for an entire day, and must work on something really important. Email-free afternoons or mornings are other ideas.
Headphones: Allow employees to wear headphones to block out distractions.
Let employees work from home one or two days a week, reporting at the end of such days what they got done. Allow them to work without the distractions of the office, and see what happens.
Shut down the Internet for a couple hours a day. Disconnecting might seem alarming, but it will allow people to focus and get a lot done. If they know it"ll happen at a certain time each day, they"ll get the tasks done that require the Internet before that time, and prepare for the time of disconnection.
However you do it, creating an environment of focus rather than distraction and busywork will breathe new life into your organization.
Transforming Culture: The next question becomes how you go from the current office culture and environment to one of focus. This isn"t easy -- whether you don"t have completely control over the company (you"re a mid- or low-level manager) or you are in charge but must deal with inertia and ingrained habits.
Some ideas: Give out a copy of this book. You can freely distribute the free version of this book, which is uncopyrighted, or buy the digital package once and distribute it electronically to the rest of your organization, or buy multiple copies of the print book to hand out. It"s a great place to start, to get everyone on the same page.
Talk about it. Simply start a conversation, with your colleagues, bosses, team members. Talk about the problems of distractions and finding focus, and see what ideas emerge.
Inst.i.tute small changes. There"s no need to drastically overhaul culture overnight. Start small, with a simple but powerful change, 128 such as: inst.i.tuting a no email, no meetings, no distractions period for one hour at the start of every day.
Keep pushing for small changes: reducing the number of meetings, having no-email or no-Internet hours during the day, holding retreats where people work in a monk-like, distraction-free, quiet environment, encouraging people to switch off phones and use headphones during parts of their day, suggesting that people set two or three times a day when they check email and that they don"t check email at other times, etc. Over time, things can change, but be patient, be encouraging, be positive. And most of all, lead by example.
4: making changes at a broader level.