Molly bent down to the boy. "You can"t always go with Chivalry when he goes to visit his sweetheart," she admonished him.
"He can today," Chivalry announced abruptly. He gave me a sideways glance, as if making sure I knew he was doing me a vast favor. "I"ll put him up behind me; his pony can"t deal with this snow. Hurry up and get ready."
"Would you like a cup of tea, Fitz? You must be cold."
"Actually, there"s nothing like stable ch.o.r.es for warming a man after a long ride. But yes, I would."
"The boys put you to work in the stable? Oh, Chiv, he"s a guest!"
"He knows his way around a shovel," Chivalry said, and it was a compliment. Then, "Hurry up, Hearth. I"m not going to wait all day for you."
There were a few moments of noisy chaos that seemed necessary for preparing a six-year-old boy to go anywhere, although no one but me was astonished at it. It made the guards" mess seem a calm place by comparison. By the time the two were out of the door, Steady had already retreated to the loft while Just and Nimble had seated themselves at the table. Nimble pretended to be cleaning his nails, while Just stared at me frankly.
"Fitz, please, sit down. Nimble, move your chair over, make room. Just, I could do with more kindling."
"You"re just sending me outside to get me out of the way!"
"How perceptive of you! Now go. Nimble, you may help him. Clear some of the snow from the wood stack, and move some of it into the woodshed to dry."
They both went out, but not quietly or graciously. When the door had closed behind them, Molly took a deep breath. She removed a kettle from the fire, poured hot water over spice tea in a large pot and then brought it to the table. She set out cups for us, and a pot of honey. She sat down across from me.
"h.e.l.lo," I said.
She smiled. "h.e.l.lo."
"I asked Nettle if she wanted to come with me, but she didn"t want to ride through the storm."
"I can"t blame her. And I think it"s hard for her to come home, sometimes. Things are far humbler here than at Buckkeep Castle."
"You could move to Withywoods. It"s yours now, you know."
"I know." A shadow pa.s.sed over her face and I wished I hadn"t mentioned it. "But it would be too many changes, too fast. The boys are still becoming accustomed to the idea that their father is never coming back. And, as you see, Chivalry is courting."
"He seems very young for that," I ventured.
"He"s a young man with a large holding. Another woman in the house would make things much easier for all of us. What should he wait for, if he"s found a woman who loves him?" she countered. When I had no answer to that, she added, "If they marry, I don"t think Thrift will want to move far from her parents" home. She is very close to her sister."
"I see." And I did. I suddenly saw that Molly was no longer someone"s daughter, to be whisked off from her father"s house and become mine. She was the center of a world here, with roots and ties.
"Life is complicated, isn"t it?" she said to my silence.
I looked at her, in her simple, somber-hued robe. Her hands were no longer smooth and slender; there were lines in her face that had not been there when she was mine. Her body had softened and rounded with the years. She was no longer the girl in the red skirts, running down the beach before me.
"I have never wanted anything so much in my life as I"ve always wanted you."
"Fitz!" she exclaimed, glancing up at the loft, and I suddenly realized I had spoken the words aloud. Her cheeks glowed and she lifted both hands to cover her mouth with her fingertips.
"I"m sorry," I said. "I know it"s too soon. You"ve told me that. And I will wait. I"ll wait however long you want me to wait. I just want to be sure you know that I am waiting."
I saw her swallow. She said huskily, "I don"t know how long it will take."
"It doesn"t matter." I stretched out my hand, palm up, on the tabletop. She hesitated, and then set hers in it. And we sat, not speaking, until the boys came in with a load of snowy kindling to be scolded by their mother for not wiping their feet.
I stayed until afternoon. We drank tea and I talked about Nettle at the court, and told the boys stories of Burrich when he had been a younger man. I saddled Myblack and bade them farewell before Chivalry and Hearth returned. Molly walked out to say good-bye and kissed me. On the cheek. And I rode three days back to Buckkeep Castle.
Riddle continued to carry letters between her cottage and Buckkeep Castle. They all came up for Spring Fest, and I managed to dance with Molly once. It was the first time I had ever danced with her, and the first time I"d attempted to dance in years. I danced with Nettle, afterward, who advised me never to attempt it again. But she smiled as she said it.
I saw Hap in the early days of spring. He and Sawtongue came through Buck at the beginning of their summer travels. Hap was taller and leaner and seemed content with his life. He"d seen a great deal of Bearns and now was off to Rippon and then Shoaks. He"d made two songs of his own, both humorous, and both seemed well received when he sang them for us at the lesser hearth. Web and Swift came back to Buckkeep later that month. Swift had widened through the shoulders and was more introspective than I recalled him. Web stayed at Buckkeep while Swift went home to spend a week with his family. He returned with news that Chivalry would be getting married in three months.
I went down for the wedding. Watching him stand before Thrift and pledge himself to her while she blushed and smiled, scarcely able to look at him, envy burned in me. It would be so simple for them. They met, they loved, they married. I suspected they"d have a baby in the cradle before the year was out. And I could get no closer to Molly than the touch of her hand and a kiss on the cheek.
Summer grew strong and hot. It was a good summer. Elliania was pregnant and the whole of the Six Duchies seemed abuzz with it. The crops seemed to grow before my eyes. Myblack learned the way to Molly"s cottage and back. I helped Chivalry raise the beams on the extra rooms he was building, and watched Molly and Thrift cook companionably together. I watched her as she moved around the room at her simple tasks, watched her laugh and stir the soup and brush her lengthening hair back from her eyes. I had not been so fevered with desire since I was fifteen years old. I could not sleep at night, and when I did, I had to ward my dreams. I could see Molly and speak to her, but it was always in Burrich"s house or with Burrich"s sons clinging to her hands. There seemed no place in her world that I could claim, and I grew irritable with everyone.
I went to see Patience and Lacey, as I had promised, making the long journey in the hot and dusty days of high summer, and Chade swore I was so fractious that he was glad to be rid of me for a time. I didn"t blame him. Lacey had become frailer and Patience had hired two women to help care for her old servant. Walking in her gardens with Patience"s worn hand on my arm, seeing how she had converted the b.l.o.o.d.y soil of Regal"s King"s Circle to a haven of greenery, beauty, and peace gave me the first rest I had known in a long time. She gave me some of my father"s things from her clutter: a plain sword belt he had preferred, letters Burrich had sent to him that mentioned me, and a jade ring. The ring fit my hand perfectly. I wore it home.
Nettle lingered after our Skill-lesson the first morning I was back. Chade did also, but at a look from me, he sighed and left me alone with my daughter. "You were gone a long time. Weeks," she said.
"I hadn"t seen Patience in a long time. And she"s getting old."
She nodded. "Thrift is pregnant."
"That"s wonderful news."
"It is. We"re all very excited. But my mother says it makes her feel old, to know she"ll be a grandmother soon."
That gave me a moment"s pause.
"She said to me, "Time goes faster when you"re older, Nettle." Isn"t that an odd thought?"
"I"ve known it for some time."
"Do you? I think women know it better perhaps."
I looked at Nettle directly and said nothing. "Perhaps not," she said then, and went away.
Four days later, I saddled Myblack again and set out for Molly"s. Chade sternly warned me that I must be back in time for the Calling and I promised him that I would be. The day was fine and Myblack well behaved and in good condition for the journey. The summer evenings were long and I made the journey in two days instead of three. I found myself very welcome, for Chivalry was replacing the posts in the paddock fence. Swift and Steady were helpful in pulling up the old rotted posts and Just and Hearth dug the holes bigger. Chivalry and I came behind, setting each pole straight and tall. He spoke to me about becoming a father and how exciting it was until he realized that my silences were growing longer and longer. Then he declared he was going to take the boys down to the creek and let them swim for a time, for he"d had enough of hot, sweaty work for the day. He asked if I"d come but I shook my head.
I was pouring a bucket of cool water from the well over my head when Molly came out with a basket on her arm. "Thrift is napping. The heat is hard on her. It is, when you"re carrying. I thought we"d leave the house quiet for her, and perhaps find out if there are any blackberries ripe enough to be sweet yet."
We climbed the gentle hill behind the house. The shouts of the boys splashing in the creek below faded. We went past Molly"s neat straw hives, gently humming with the warm day. The blackberry tangle was beyond them and Molly led me to the far south side of it, saying the berries always ripened there first. Her bees were busy there too, some among the last blackberry flowers and some after the juice from the bursting ripe fruit. We picked berries until the basket was half-full. Then, as I bent a high p.r.i.c.kly branch to bring it down so Molly could reach the top fruit, I offended a bee. It rushed at me, first tangling in my hair and then b.u.mbling down my collar. I slapped at it and cursed as it stung me. I stumbled back from the berry bushes, batting at two others that were suddenly buzzing round my head.
"Move away quickly," Molly warned me, and then came to take my hand and hurry me down the hill.
A second one stung me behind the ear before they gave off the chase. "And we"ve left the basket back there with all the berries. Shall I try to go back for it?"
"Not yet. Wait a time until they settle. Here, don"t rub that, the stinger is probably still in it. Let me see."
I sat down in the shade of an alder and she bent my head forward to look at the sting behind my ear. "It"s really swelling. And you"ve pushed the stinger right in. Sit still, now." She picked at it with her fingers. I flinched and she laughed. "Sit still. I can"t get it with my nails." She leaned forward and put her mouth on it. I felt her tongue find the stinger, and then she gripped it between her teeth and pulled it out. She brushed it from her lips onto her fingers. "See. You"d pushed it all the way in. Is there another one?"
"Down my back," I said, and in spite of myself, my voice shook. She stopped and looked at me. She turned her head and looked again at me, as if she had not seen me in a long time. Her voice was husky when she said, "Take your shirt off. I"ll see if I can get it out."
I felt dizzy as her mouth once again touched me. She presented me with the second stinger. Then she set her fingers to the arrow scar on my back and said, "What was this?"
"An arrow. A long time ago."
"And this?"
"That"s more recent. A sword."
"My poor Fitz." She touched the scar between my shoulder and neck. "I remember when you got this one. You came to my bed, still bandaged."
"I did."
I turned to her, knowing that she was waiting for me. It still took all my courage. Very carefully, I kissed her. I kissed her cheeks, her throat, and finally her mouth. She tasted of blackberries. Over and over, I kissed her, as slowly as I could, trying to kiss away all the years I had missed. I unlaced her blouse and lifted it over her head, baring her to the blue summer sky above us. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were soft and heavy in my hands. I treasured them. Her skirt slipped away, a blown blossom on the gra.s.s. I laid my love down in the deep wild gra.s.ses and sweetly took her to me.
It was homecoming, and completion, and a marvel worth repeating. We dozed for a time, and then woke as the shadows were lengthening. "We must go back!" she exclaimed, but, "Not yet," I told her. I claimed her again, as slowly as I could bear to, and my name whispered by my ear as she shuddered beneath me was the sweetest sound I"d ever heard.
We were abruptly guilty adolescents as the raised cries of "Mother? Fitz?" reached our ears. We scrabbled hastily back into our clothing. Molly ventured alone to retrieve our basket of berries. We dusted leaves and bits of gra.s.s from our clothing and hair, laughing breathlessly as we did so. I kissed her again.
"We have to stop!" Molly warned me. She returned my kiss warmly, and then lifted her voice to call, "I"m here, I"m coming!"
I took her hand in mine as we went round the bramble and held it as we strode back down the hill to her children.
EPILOGUE.
Withywoods is a warm valley, centered on a gently flowing river that carves a wide plain that nestles between gently rising and rolling foothills. It is a wonderful place to grow grapes and grain and bees and young boys. The manor is of timber rather than stone, and there are times when this still seems very strange to me. I sleep now in a room and in a bed that once belonged to my father, and the woman I have loved since I was a boy sleeps beside me at night.
For three years, we were lovers in secret. It was hard for us, and yet somehow all the more delicious. Our trysts were few and uncertain, and I valued them all the more for that. Molly came with her sons to the next Harvest Fest, and I stole her away from the music and dancing and carried her off to my own bed. I had never thought to have her there, and for many nights after, her perfume lingered on my pillows and sweetened my dreams. A visit to her cottage might yield me no more than a swiftly stolen kiss, but each was worth the long ride. I do not think we deceived Chivalry for long, and certainly Nettle"s comments let me know that I was not fooling her. But we went carefully, for the sake of her little boys, and I have never regretted taking the time to win their regard.
No one was more surprised than I when Steady answered the Calling. He did not seem to be strongly Skilled at first, but we soon uncovered reserves of strength and calm that made him precisely suited to be a King"s Man. Nettle was proud and protective, and I was grateful, for her young son"s residence in Buckkeep Castle gave Molly excuses to visit more often. Steady and Nettle became the core of the new King"s Coterie, for the bond the brother and sister shared was strong. Twelve others answered the Calling, four with Skill enough to become members of Nettle"s coterie and eight of lesser ability. We turned no one away from that first Calling, for as Chade himself pointed out, it sometimes takes time for the Skill to manifest itself completely. Thick and I continue to perform the duties of Solos. Chade, as always, keeps threads tied to us all and tests the boundaries of the magic, risking himself in ways he would deride as foolhardy if anyone else attempted them.
When Chivalry"s second son was born, Molly suddenly declared that it was time Thrift had her own hearth and home. She decided to take Hearth and Just to Withywoods. Nimble made the decision to stay with his older brother, for the holding was too much for one man to work alone and he had always enjoyed the horses. Molly privately told me that she thought it had more to do with a certain redheaded girl, the daughter of a wainwright in the closest town.
We wed quietly, making our promises before my king in the presence of Molly"s children, Kettricken, Elliania, Chade, Hap, and Riddle. Chade wept, then hugged me fiercely and told me to be happy. Hap asked Nettle if he might kiss his new sister, and was soundly thumped by a protective Hearth for his impertinence. Thick and little Prince Prosper dozed through most of the ceremony.
We traveled to see Patience, who had not been able to make the journey, and to place a flower on Lacey"s grave. We stayed a month, and I thought Hearth and Just would wear Patience out with mischief and curiosity. But two days before we were scheduled to depart, Patience abruptly announced that she was tired of Tradeford and too old to run it anymore and that she would come to live with us in Withywoods. To my relief, Molly was pleased at the prospect.
Hearth and Just seem to enjoy the pleasures and absurdities of having such a grandmother. Hearth has promised to seek Molly"s permission before there is any more tattooing, and Just has developed a deep interest in plants and herbs that challenges even Patience"s knowledge. Riddle turned up at Withywoods when we were scarcely settled, saying that Chade had sent him to be my man. I suspect he still spies on me for the old spider, but that is fine. I am willing to yield to Chade whatever he needs to feel he still has control of his world. Much of his power, I wrested from him, bit by bit, and pa.s.sed it on to Dutiful as he proved ready for it. If I have never worn the crown of the Six Duchies, I am confident that I have done much to see it pa.s.sed on intact.
Riddle has demonstrated that he knows much more of hiring servants and running an estate than I ever suspected. It is well, for neither Molly nor I ever expected to have to manage such things, and Patience declares she is far too old to bother. He is a solid man. The last time Nettle visited, I took him to task for being overly familiar with her, until Molly called me aside and told me quietly to mind my own business.
I am summoned often to Buckkeep, and Dutiful and Elliania have come to visit twice to go hawking, for the birding is excellent in our grain fields. I have never cared for that sport, and spent both visits playing with their son while they rode. Prosper is a hearty, healthy boy.
Chade trained arduously as prescribed in the Skill scrolls and then made one venture through the stones. He chose to go to Aslevjal and explore for himself the Elderling ruins there. He stayed ten days and came back with his eyes full of wonder and a sack full of memory cubes. He did not find his way to Prilkop"s cave, and if he had, I am sure he would have found it long deserted. I think that when the Fool last visited Chade, he was on his way south, back to their schooling place to bring home all they had learned. I doubt he will come back this way again.
Ours was a ragged and uneven parting. Each of us had intended to see the other again. Each of us had had final words to say. My days with the Fool ended like a half-played game of Stones, the outcome poised and uncertain, possibilities hovering. Sometimes it seemed to me a cruelty that so much was unresolved between us; at other times, a blessing that a hope of reunion lingered. It is like the antic.i.p.ation that a clever minstrel evokes when he pauses, letting silence pool before sweeping into the final refrain of his song. Sometimes a gap can seem like a promise yet to be fulfilled.
I miss him often, but in the same way that I miss Nighteyes. I know that such a one will not come again. I count myself fortunate for what I had of them. I do not think I will ever Wit-bond again, or know such a deep friendship as I had with the Fool. As Burrich once observed to Patience, one horse cannot wear two saddles. I have Molly and she is enough for me, and more.
I am content.
bantam books BY ROBIN HOBB.
THE Fa.r.s.eER.
a.s.sa.s.sIN"S APPRENTICE.
THE Fa.r.s.eER.
ROYAL a.s.sa.s.sIN.
THE Fa.r.s.eER.
a.s.sa.s.sIN"S QUEST.
THE LIVESHIP TRADERS.
SHIP OF MAGIC.
THE LIVESHIP TRADERS.
MAD SHIP.
THE LIVESHIP TRADERS.
SHIP OF DESTINY.
THE TAWNY MAN.