She tried standing on her own again and managed to stay upright. The shoes weren"t helping, so she stepped out of them, which lowered her about three inches. Her right sandal landed on top of her panties.
Physical balance wasn"t her only issue, she thought. Her head was spinning. What the h.e.l.l had just happened? Not that she needed that question answered. Maybe the better issue was why. Why hadn"t she stopped to think?
He gently touched her cheek. "Are you okay?" he asked again.
She nodded, figuring he wouldn"t want to know the truth. Second thoughts didn"t begin to cover her emotional freefall. Thirty-eighth thoughts were more like it. She"d had s.e.x with Josh. Willingly. Wildly. In those moments, in his arms, she"d been someone else.
Or the person she was always meant to be, a little voice in her head whispered.
No way, she told herself. No. That wasn"t it.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Her shirt was still tucked into her skirt, but was hanging back down over her b.u.t.t. Her bra was somewhere on the floor. It only took him a few seconds to look decent again, but she had a tougher road. Rather than risk struggling, she pulled up her shirt and reknotted it, figuring she would deal with the bra and panties later. When she was leaving.
Unless she was supposed to leave now.
She"d never been one for casual s.e.x and honestly, she didn"t know the rules.
"I know what you"re thinking," he said, his hazel-green eyes staring deeply into her own.
"I doubt that." He would have to be beyond psychic to make it through the maze that was her mind.
"I don"t do this every day," he told her. "The rumors, the things people say, they"re not true."
"They"re mostly true," she said. "The first week I was here, I saw that woman waiting in your room. I haven"t seen her around town, so I figure you imported her."
"No. I didn"t ask her to be there. h.e.l.l, I didn"t know her. She got someone in housekeeping to let her in."
Information she was sure he thought she would find comforting. "Now you"re going to tell me you told her to get dressed and sent her on her way."
"I did." When she would have looked away, he touched her chin. "I mean it, Charity."
The funny thing was, she wanted to believe him. Talk about confusing.
He took her hand and drew her into the room. A single lamp in the corner provided a little light. He flipped on a couple more.
"Can I get you something?" he asked. "Wine? Coffee? Dessert?"
She hesitated. Wine sounded good, but she couldn"t face the thought of one of the room-service people seeing her in Josh"s room, then telling the entire town about it.
He motioned to his left. "I have a private stash."
She followed the movement.
What he had was a mini-fridge and a small under-the-counter wine refrigerator.
"Something red?"
He grinned. "My favorite color."
While he picked a wine, she collected her bra and panties, then ducked into the half bath in the corner. By the time she was done straightening and had returned to the living room of his suite, he"d poured them each a gla.s.s and turned on the gas fireplace.
"Now you"re going for the romance thing?" she asked. "Isn"t it a little late?"
"You mean because I already got the girl?" He led her to the sofa and settled next to her.
"You got the girl in a bright and shiny new way. You have a lot of upper body strength."
"I should accept the compliment with a knowing smile," he said as he put his arm around her. "Instead I"ll tell the truth, which is that it"s all about leverage."
She winced. "Not sure I wanted to know that."
"Why?"
She stared at the fire, trying not to enjoy the moment too much. "Not the mechanics. The fact that you have so much experience that you can talk about them. It"s scary."
He angled toward her, which meant his warm arm wasn"t around her, but he left his hand on her shoulder. "I won"t lie to you. I had a great time when I was in my early twenties. I was a well-known athlete and women were everywhere. I took advantage of that." He gave her a slow, s.e.xy smile. "It was fun."
And he was telling her this why? Because it wasn"t making her feel any better.
"I"m not that guy anymore," he said. "I grew up a long time ago. But people don"t want to believe that. They like the legend and stories that go with that. If I"m still the guy on the poster, then they get glory by a.s.sociation."
She could almost understand that. "The opposite of the old saying that you can"t be a hero in your hometown?"
"Yeah. I can"t stop being a hero." He grimaced. "That sounds arrogant. I"m not trying to be a jerk. I"m just saying that"s how it"s been with me for years. This town took care of me. They looked out for me and they feel they"ve earned a piece of me. They like thinking I have a different woman in my room every night because it feeds the story and they like how that story plays."
She thought about him riding his bike, coming back sweaty and everyone a.s.suming it was because he was out getting lucky.
"It"s not like you want to correct the a.s.sumption," she pointed out. "You don"t tell them differently."
"I don"t want them to know the truth."
That he couldn"t ride, she thought. He didn"t want to spoil the fantasy.
"I got divorced about two years ago," he told her. "I dated a little after that, but nothing came of it. I moved back here, and since then..." Now it was his turn to glance away. "Let"s just say it"s been a h.e.l.l of a dry spell."
"Thank you. That makes me feel better. I"ve never been good at being one in a crowd."
"Me, either."
"What? There"s no crowd."
He raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, please. Do not even pretend I"m sleeping with Robert," she told him. "We"ve had all of three dates. Besides, he"s not my type."
"That"s not what you were saying earlier."
"You annoyed me," she told him. "On purpose. What was I supposed to say?"
"You annoyed me, too."
"How?"
"You went out with him."
Oh.
Talk about unexpected. Charity glanced at Josh, then away. She sipped her wine, more for something to do than because she was thirsty. Her confusion faded and she found herself feeling a little gooey inside. Maybe the wild wall s.e.x wasn"t the smartest decision she"d ever made, but maybe it hadn"t been a total mistake.
"I won"t be going out with him again," she murmured.
"Good."
She glanced at Josh from under her lashes. "He, ah, has a fondness for the Civil War. One of the bedrooms is devoted to miniature displays of various battles. There are buildings and roads and little tiny trees."
His mouth twitched. "I"m sure a lot of research goes into making those."
"I"m sure it does."
She shifted so she was facing him, tucking her right leg under her. "Don"t take this the wrong way, because I"m not really a sports person." She paused. "So how good were you?"
He laughed. "I was the best. Ranked number one, and for a couple of years that was against Lance Armstrong. You name a race and I"ve probably won it. I had multimillion-dollar endors.e.m.e.nt deals. I still have a couple. I was on the cover of every racing magazine and most sports-related publications. I"ve been in People"s s.e.xiest issues a couple of times."
"I read People," she murmured, knowing she would have looked at his picture as just one of the pretty people who weren"t real. "Now I"m getting scared again."
"Why?"
"It"s the rock star thing. I never had that fantasy."
"I can"t play guitar."
"You know what I mean. The fame. I never wanted any a.s.sociation with someone well known. My life is quiet and I prefer it that way."
"I"m not famous now."
"You are, but it"s different here. I told you my mom and I moved around a lot when I was young. All I ever wanted was a place to belong. Roots. Connection. Family. Mostly family. I don"t need to be important to the world. In fact I don"t want that-too much responsibility. But I do want someone to care, if that makes sense."
"It does."
THE LAMP BEHIND THEM caught the lighter tones of Charity"s soft brown hair. It played with the side of her face, making her eyes seem larger and more mysterious. She had a look about her, a combination of satisfaction and "what the h.e.l.l was I thinking?"
Not that Josh had any answers. The s.e.x hadn"t been planned, but it sure had been good. One second he"d been p.i.s.sed about her date with Robert and how unexpectedly good she"d looked, the next he"d been h.e.l.l bent for taking anything she offered. He wanted her again, but slower this time. He wanted her in his bed, naked, with all the time in the world to explore her body, touch her soft skin. He wanted to taste her everywhere. He wanted to make her come in a thousand different ways. He wanted to lose himself in her over and over again. So much for being a guy who didn"t ever get involved.
"You have the Hendrixes," she said. "They"re your family."
It took him a second to remember what they were talking about. "They"ve always been good to me. Denise wanted a daughter. After three boys she was desperate to try one more time. She really wanted a girl. She got three."
Charity"s eyes widened. "Must have been a shock."
"Uh-huh. By the time I moved in, the girls were about three. They were a handful. Still are. Denise was pretty sick after they were born. For a while, the doctors were afraid she wasn"t going to pull through. The boys were scared and there were three babies to worry about. To make the kids feel better, their dad said they could name the triplets." He grinned.
"That sounds like trouble."
"Not so bad. They"re Nevada, Montana and Dakota."
"It could be worse."
"I heard Oceania was in the running."
She winced. "Okay, then Montana is a whole lot more mainstream than that." She looked at him. "You enjoyed living with them."
"I did."
"Everyone here has ties," she said, sounding wistful. "A history."
Josh swore silently. At times like this, he really hated the position Marsha had put him in. The secret was hers to keep or tell, but the longer she was quiet, the worse it was going to be.
"I think it"s better if no one knows what happened tonight," he said quickly, to distract her.
Charity"s head snapped up. "What?"
"People will talk, what with you being new and all in town." He shrugged. "I don"t want anyone to know you"re using me."
Her mouth dropped open. "Using you?"
"You took advantage of me. Tempted me with your feminine wiles so you could trick me into having s.e.x with you."
She put her gla.s.s of wine on the coffee table and launched herself at him. Fortunately his drink was also safely on the table, so he was able to catch her.
She wiggled and twisted, shrieking, not quite hitting him, but coming close. He wrapped his arms around her and held her still.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I"m not sure."
"Because if you were trying to hurt me, you failed."
"I know." She shifted so she could glare at him. "I"m not using you for s.e.x."
"You didn"t even buy me dinner first."
She shrieked. "You"re the guy."
"Great. So you not only took advantage of me, you"re s.e.xist, too."
"Dammit, Josh." She shoved at his chest, then dropped her head on his shoulder. "You make me crazy."
"I do what I can."