"What?"
"I"m dreaming!"
"I don"t think so, Violet," I said, disappointment settling in.
"What other explanation could there possibly be?" she asked as she climbed back up
onto the bed and began to crawl up the length of it.
"What other explanation could there be? How about the "I"m a vampire" explanation? W- what are you doing?"
"I want to see if you have fangs before I wake up," she said reaching towards my mouth.
"I don"t have fangs!" I protested, turning my heard away. "They went away with the
erection."
She paused. "Super strength? Why can"t you just pull the headboard apart?"
"I could. But why would I break my bed? Plus, I have the key," I said, holding up the key
she"d dropped seconds earlier. I slipped it into the locking mechanism and the ratchet
popped open. I slipped my hand free and tossed the key onto my nightstand.
"Wow," she chuckled as she rolled onto her side and stretched out alongside of me. "I can"t remember the last time I had a dream this vivid. I used to dream about crazy stuff when I was a kid, but-"
Violet tried to stifle a yawn. Then she laid her head upon my chest and draped her arm
across my waist.
"You"re not dreaming. Violet let me up. I"ll send an e-mail to Pete and then I"ll move to the caves. You can wait it out here until Monday, okay? There"s plenty of food and...."
"Good night, Ren," she whispered.
"You"re going to sleep? Here?"
I looked down at the top of her head and watched her left shoulder rise and fall in a
shrug.
"Why not? It"s comfy here."
She yawned again.
"Besides, when I wake up, I"ll be back in my own bed. You"ll be back to trying to ignore me."
"I haven"t been ignoring you."
"I might as well make the most of the fantasy. Not every woman gets to be seduced by a tall, dark, and handsome vampire."
I smiled. She thought I was handsome. "You fantasize about being seduced by a vampire?"
"Doesn"t every woman?"
I did my best to lull her back to sleep. I enjoyed the feel of her silken hair on my chest and the tickle of her breath as she exhaled. I began to emit an almost imperceptible vibration from my chest, a sign of deep satisfaction. Running my hand up and down the length of her back, I inhaled deeply, trying to commit the moment to memory, the feel of her, the smell of her.
"Good night, Violet," I whispered into the darkness. "I wish... I wish I could love you."
I didn"t sleep for the remainder of the night. I didn"t want to miss one second of the pleasure that I felt while Violet rested comfortably and peacefully in my arms, her body molded to mine. I watched as the minutes swiftly pa.s.sed and then an hour before sunrise I turned off the alarm and sadly slipped from the warmth of my bed. I knew that when Violet awakened, she would realize the truth of my words and I wanted to remember her this way-wanting me. It may have been an honest fantasy that she shared, but fantasy and reality are a world apart. I remembered the initial look of horror on her face when she saw what I was. I didn"t think that I could bare that look again.
I made Violet a pot of coffee. I didn"t have the stomach to drink any of it myself. Besides, I didn"t want the caffeine to interfere with my plans to get good and drunk. I figured that was the only way that I was going to be able to make it though the next forty-eight hours.
Violet was still sleeping soundly in my bed when I picked up the bedroll that I hadn"t used in decades along with the two bundles of wood and tinder and the three bottles of twenty-five year old single malt that I"d been saving. With supplies in hand, I quietly left my house.
The snow crunched under the soles of my boots as I trudged halfway down the stone steps and then veered off onto the path that led to the caves close to sh.o.r.e. It had been ages since I"d been to the caves. When I was a child I had spent countless hours there exploring, living in my imagination.
It was cold outside. The frigid air was bracing. Everything seemed harsh, stark and eerily quite. The world was a landscape of white and grey. The ocean looked ominously black. I had never felt so lost or so empty. They say you can"t miss what you"ve never had. They"re wrong. I knew that now. I was missing it desperately, the possibility of a normal existence. The possibility of sharing my life with someone, of living with them, of growing old with them, of having children, of knowing that I was part of it...the cycle of life. I didn"t want to sit on the sidelines, watching it pa.s.s without purpose, experiencing only petty and meaningless pleasure. Not anymore. I"d had my fill, I suppose.
I paused and looked out at the ocean, dark and immense. Then I glanced one last time back towards the house. Tears of frustration clouded my vision and for the first time in my existence I found myself regretting, no, hating what I was.
I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my cashmere overcoat, swallowed down the lump in my throat, and then with profound sorrow, I forced my wretched self to continue down the path and into the largest of the caves. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I didn"t even bother to build a fire. I threw the bedroll onto the cold, hard floor, drank down a half a bottle of scotch, then fell into a restless sleep.
Chapter 3.
"There you-"
Within a fraction of a second I was completely awake and had Violet pinned to the wall of the cave, her feet dangling, comically, above its sand floor. I was sure that my eyes were still flashing red. I could hear the remnants of my attack growl as it faded to a low rumble and then died all together.
Violet"s eyes were wide with fear. She licked her lips and then quietly said, "You"re hurting me, Byron."
I gently eased her down the wall. As soon as her feet were safely on the floor, I stepped back into the darkened recesses of the cave. I was awash in shame, horrified that I could have hurt her.
"Sorry. You shouldn"t be here. And you should never sneak up on a vampire."
"I guess my mother forgot to tell me about that one," she teased.
"This isn"t something to joke about, Violet. I could have... I could have hurt you."
"But you didn"t," she pointed out as she walked towards me.
I turned around to face the wall. I couldn"t bear to have her see me like this, ferocious
fangs and raging red eyes.
"I woke up alone in your bed, the handcuffs still dangling from the headboard. It felt...wrong. I waited for you to come back, but you didn"t. I got worried, then I remembered you mentioning the caves. It"s silly, I know. Me worrying about a..."
"Vampire.""It"s all true," she said, resting her hand upon my shoulder. "Look at me.""No. I"m not back to normal yet.""What"s normal?""Violet, I"m trying to do the right thing here. Don"t you think I know that this is wrong?
Don"t you think I know I"m an abomination? That this...what"s happening between us..."
Violet stepped in front of me; her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I didn"t mean that you
were wrong, or that the attraction we"re experiencing is wrong. I meant it felt wrong for me to wake up alone in your bed. Wrong because you weren"t there with me."
She reached for my hand, interlacing her fingers with mine. She was shivering almost
uncontrollably. The temperature outside was just above freezing, the rain again pouring
down.
"You"re cold, and you"re soaked through," I said. I felt my fangs recede and stepped out of the shadows
"I"ll live," she said.
I swallowed. Then I walked over to stack of wood and began to start a fire. "You shouldn"t have walked all the way down here on that ankle."
"My ankle is fine. I had to talk to you. This is real, isn"t it? You"re real."
I watched as the tinder caught and the fire spread, catching the well-aged wood. She
was patient. I"ll give her that. It occurred to me that this was her job, getting people to talk about difficult issues, helping them sort out their problems, deal with conflict. The fire flared up, warming the small s.p.a.ce quickly.
"Yes. I"m real. This is real."
"Wow. I have this couple on my caseload that say they"re vampires. I wonder-"
"Vi, real vampires don"t go around announcing it. For the most part we live quiet lives. Violet, if you don"t get out of those wet clothes, you"re going to catch your death," I told her as I stood up and removed my coat.
"I"ll be fine," she tried to a.s.sure me, her teeth chattering. "No, you won"t," I told her, walking over to her. "Humans get sick. They get sick and they die. You"re lips are already blue and your body temperature is dropping." I traced her mouth with the pad of my thumb. Violet"s lips were trembling slightly. Whether from cold or desire, I wasn"t sure. They beckoned to me, begging me to warm them, so I did. Kissing them tenderly and thoroughly. Kissing them as they were meant to be kissed. I pulled back, and gazed into her eyes. "You came to me. Of your own accord, you came."
I took her hand and then led her over to the fire.
"Undress. Lay your clothes out on the rocks. I"ll give you my coat to wear. It"s warm and
dry. As soon as the rain lets up, we"ll get you back inside. You must have dozens of questions."
I sat down on one of the larger boulders, my coat across my lap.
"Ren, are you going to watch me undress?"
I smiled, relieved. "Yes. And you"re calling me Ren again. Does that mean I"m out of the dog house?"