"Shut the f.u.c.k up." The last thing I needed was for everyone to know about my sister. I didn"t want anyone to pity me, to look at me differently.
She closed her mouth.
"Bran, throw her out." I turned away so I wouldn"t look at her. She was the reason I was missing Keira every night.
"Don"t hate me for what happened with Keira," she snapped. "All I did was test your relationship. It"s not my fault she failed."
"Bran," I warned.
"Come on." Bran grabbed her and dragged her out.
"You should be with me! I can give you what you need. She never could-" Her voice disappeared after she left the locker room. The silence returned, calming me.
I couldn"t beat her into pieces, but I wish Keira could. That b.i.t.c.h needed to be taught a lesson.
When the match was set to begin, I took another deep breath then walked out. Johnny waited by the doors. He patted me on the back then walked with me down the aisle.
"You ready, kid?"
"I"m ready to rip someone"s head off."
"Excellent."
People were lined on either side of us, shouting and screaming. Once we reached the ring, I climbed through the rope then tossed my towel aside. The room was packed with people, all shouting and rooting for their team. My opponent took a drink from his water then stretched his arms. He was smaller than me, but he had a crazed look in his eye.
"You got this," Johnny said to me.
"I know."
Bran stood on the floor near my corner. Tony was with him. "Kick some a.s.s!"
I didn"t react, my heart suddenly slowing down. My adrenaline always faded before a fight. I was eerily calm, practically ready to go to sleep. When I was in the ring, ready to rip someone apart, it was where I belonged. It dimmed the rage inside me, made me release it in the only acceptable way I could. Every day spent in the real world didn"t help me. I couldn"t stay sane sitting in a cla.s.sroom learning about economics. My past had breed me into a killing machine. And that"s what I was.
A killer.
The ref came onto the mat then raised his arm. Then he blew the whistle.
With my fists pulled to my chest, I moved on the b.a.l.l.s of my feet and eyed Congo, the opponent who was looking at me like I was a piece of meat ready to be carved. He was studying me, looking for my weakness. I was doing the same to him.
Then he charged me, aiming for my abdomen.
I dodged out of the way then used his momentum to yank his head toward the floor, getting a good grip on his neck. With a savage kick in his quads, I jerked him back, making him lay on his back.
All the screaming and shouting stopped. All I thought about was Derek, the man who killed my sister. She screamed and begged for her life, but she received no mercy. Her head was crashed in, her body was broken. The blood left her body, giving her heart nothing to pump.
I saw f.u.c.king red.
Even though he was down, I dragged him back to his feet because I wanted to beat him down to a pulp. He staggered back then aimed his elbow for my nose. It collided then released blood. Unaffected by pain or agony, I kept going then smashed my fist hard into his face, fracturing his cheekbone. I felt the faint crack against my knuckles.
A quiet groan escaped his lips but he kept going. He twisted my arm then head-b.u.t.ted me, hitting me in the side of the head. Vertigo hit me for a second, but my fist pounded his face again, smashing with force.
I snapped.
My hand hit him in the face over and over, drawing blood from his eyes and his mouth. He fell to the ground then covered his head with his hands, trying to protect himself from my savage blows.
The ref blew the whistle, telling me to stop.
I kept going.
"Liam!" Johnny shouted. "Knock it off."
His voice brought reality back. I stepped back, letting my hands rest at my sides. There was blood on my gloves, and I was breathing hard, feeling the sweat on my chest and forehead.
"Liam Hayes is the winner," the ref announced over the intercom.
The victory didn"t mean as much when it was preordained. I always won because my rage took over my body. No one else ever had a chance. I moved to my corner and wiped my face with a towel. The a.s.sistant squirted water into my mouth then pulled my gloves off.
"You kicked a.s.s," Bran said from the ground.
"You"re like the Hulk," Tony said.
I climbed through the ropes then joined them on the ground.
"You"re like a machine," Bran said. "I"m pretty sure you broke that guy"s nose."
"It can be fixed." I didn"t have anything more to say. I won. Big deal.
"You were awesome!" Theresa came to my side and hugged me.
I didn"t even know she was going to be there. I mentioned it to her when we were working on our project but I never expected her to show up. When her arms wrapped around me, I felt sick. I didn"t want her to hug me. She"d always kept her s.p.a.ce from me, not hinting at something more than friendship. That was why I tolerated her.
I grabbed her shoulder and pushed her back, rudely. "Don"t hug me."
"Um...okay." She was disappointed for a moment but then her perkiness returned. "You did a great job. Its like you were bred for this."
It was obvious she only saw me as a friend by the way she looked at me. I could see it in her eyes. That hug was obviously platonic and I probably shouldn"t have been such a jerk about it. But what was done was done.
Scotty came over to me, eyeing me and Theresa. Judging the p.i.s.sed look on his face, I knew he thought something was going on between us. But I shouldn"t have to defend myself.
"Good match," Scotty said. He didn"t seem enthused.
"Thanks," I said quietly.
"Keira wanted me to tell you congratulations."
She must have told him before he left the house. "Thanks."
"Are you guys not talking at all anymore?" Bran asked.
"No, we are," I said. "She"s just not a fan of what I do."
Bran was looking past our group, his eyes resting on something. "Um...I"m pretty sure that"s her."
It couldn"t be. "Where?"
"By the second row," Bran said.
I looked in the same direction. Standing by the bleachers, she stood there, wearing jeans and a black top. Her hair was curled and the layers framed her face.
She was here.
Keira"s eyes met mine, and she gave me a weak smile. She nodded slightly, congratulating me silently, but her eyes were dark in sadness. She looked like she lost the world, lost everything.
Then I realized it was because of Theresa. She wasn"t making me look good right now. Having her run and jump into my arms didn"t exactly seem platonic. I knew how it must look to her, to everyone.
She turned away then joined the crowd, heading for the exit.
"I have to go." I jogged after her, trying to get through the crowd. It was congested, and everyone was trying to congratulate me. I still needed to claim my check but I didn"t care about the money right now.
Like a herd of cows going into a single barn, the traffic was slow. I pushed through people until I finally got outside the building. Shirtless and sweaty, I looked around for her. A few girls whistled at me but I ignored them.
I headed to the parking lot and searched for her Toyota. Finally, I spotted her unlocking her car door. "Keira!"
She didn"t hear me. She opened the door and got inside.
I ran across the parking lot until I reached her car. Then I pounded on her window, begging her not to drive away.
She didn"t flinch at my pounding fist. She unlocked the door then waited for me to step aside. After she got out, I choked. I didn"t know what to say. I was so desperate to get to her but now I had nothing to say.
Keira waited for me to speak.
"I"m not sleeping with her," I blurted.
Her face was stoic, unreadable. "I know, Liam. I never thought that."
"Then why do you look so miserable?"
She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to close off from me. "Because I should have been standing where she was the entire time. I should have stood at your side, supporting you from the beginning. All I"ve done is held you back."
That wasn"t what I expected her to say. "I understood why you weren"t there."
"I should have trusted you but I didn"t."
I didn"t have a response to that. "Why did you come tonight?"
She took a deep breath and surveyed the people in the parking lot. Then she turned back to me. "Because I wanted to."
"How did you feel?"
"I don"t understand your meaning."
"Were you scared?" I stared her down and waited for her to respond.
"No."
I studied her face, searching for a lie.
"It"s time to move on. I"m tired of being afraid. I"m not going to do it anymore."
I didn"t know what to say. I came closer to her, still feeling the sweat linger on my body. All I wanted was for her to trust me, not to fear me, and just be with me. I wanted it to be she and I against the world, to value each other more than anyone else. It was getting impossible for me to resist her, to hold back the love bursting inside me.
I felt my arms shake while I stood close to her. My body wanted to cling to hers, hold her like I used to. The distance between us was killing me. It was getting more difficult to stay away from her. I may be a ma.s.sive fighter, someone who had broken more noses than anyone else, but underneath, I was weak. Keira had hurt me enough times to crush me. "I can"t stay away from you anymore." My voice came out as a whisper. Knowing she came to my fight made me believe in us again. If there was any hope we could work it out, I had to try.
Her walls were starting to crumble. The slight buildup of moisture around her eyes gave her away. "I don"t want you too..."
My hands ached for her touch. I wanted to feel her slender waist, to feel her chest pressed against mine. I hadn"t felt her in my arms for so long that I forgot how it felt. "Can we try again?"
Her eyes shined. "You don"t even need to ask."
"But we need to take it slow...I"m not strong like I used to be."
"Whatever you need," she whispered.
I took a deep breath, feeling my body crumble into pieces. I was holding myself back, stopping myself from rushing into her embrace. But I couldn"t hold myself back much longer. "I"ve been the strong one in this relationship. I"ve always picked you up and taken care of you. But...you really hurt me, Keira. On top of everything else I"ve been through, it killed me. Now I need you to be the strong one...for both of us. I need you to be uncrushable."
The light disappeared from her eyes, leaving a calm seriousness I"d never seen before. I"d always been firm and unbreakable for her. I"ve always been the crutch she could lean on. But for the first time, I was putting that responsibility on her. Could she do it? I"d been exactly what she needed, but could she be what I needed?
There was no hesitation in her eyes. The fire burned deep within, showing me the strength I needed. "I can."
The air left my lungs as her quiet words played on my ear. It was what I needed to hear. My body couldn"t be tamed any longer. I took the final step toward her and circled her frame with my arms.
Once our bodies touched, my heart burned in a pain that never felt so good. Her arms moved around my neck, her face pressed to my chest. I felt her light breaths fall on my bare skin. Judging the quickness of her breathing, I knew she felt what I was feeling.
I closed my eyes while I relished her pet.i.te body. Somehow, she made me feel whole. She erased the rage deep inside me. Somehow, she subdued the dark thoughts in my mind. Peace flourished inside me. The world became quiet and beautiful again. All those lonely nights when I wished she were with me came back. It made me realize just how much I missed her. It was even more than I initially thought.
We held each other in the parking lot, people walking past us to their cars. The fight was forgotten. I couldn"t care less about it. Having her in my arms made me never want to let go. I didn"t care about the money and I didn"t care about the praise. The only thing that mattered to me was right here.
She gripped me tightly, breathing hard. When I felt the warm moisture drip down my chest, I knew they were her tears. The reunion affected her just as much as it affected me. I couldn"t count the number of times when I spotted her across campus and wanted to wrap my arms around her. The jealousy from the bar reminded me how much I was in love with her. I"d never been jealous in my life. I knew she wouldn"t be with anyone else but me, but it didn"t shake the feeling deep in my gut.
Her fingers touched the back of my neck, feeling the short strands. Her fingers caressed it gently, just like she used to. Her scent wafted to me, making me reminisce about all our long nights of pa.s.sion. She was the best thing that ever happened to me, the only girl who really understood me. She was the other half of my broken soul, a person who endured the same thing I had. Despite our tainted pasts, some good came out of it; each other.
My mouth moved down to her ear. "Come home with me." I didn"t wait for a response because I knew what it would be.
And she didn"t give one either.
When we got back to my house, I tossed my check on the kitchen counter and dropped my wallet and keys. The house was dark but I didn"t bother turning on any lights. There was only one room I wanted to go into.
Keira didn"t speak. She hadn"t said a word since we ended our long embrace. But nothing needed to be said. Now she looked at my house with longing, the desire heavy in her eyes. We made a life together here, even though it was so long ago. Her ghost forever haunted my hallways. But I didn"t want her shadow; I wanted her.