"I don"t know. Until I know what I was for-I don"t know what she thinks I might do."
"Not that many choices, are there?"
"There still may be choices. Like-who"s running this ship on the way back back to Alpha... if anyone"s alive." to Alpha... if anyone"s alive."
Guild getting in charge of the ship was a very, very grim scenario. Not one they"d actively considered, in the bright lights of Alpha Station and the full steam ahead of their own planning. But a year later, out in the vast dark of the universe and closer and closer to Reunion, it did prompt a sober reflection-on people, on old loyalties, on their prospects.
If they got there and there was no fuel, they had that covered-in Gin and her robots. If they got there and found a still-potent Guild in charge-and Sabin much too sympathetic toward them- "They"d want the ship, wouldn"t they?"
"Oh, d.a.m.ned right, they"d want it," Jase said.
"You think Sabin seriously might lean their way? Give up her own authority? I don"t read her that way."
"Or if she became part of theirs," Jase said, and drew a breath. "At the start of this voyage I had some doubts about her. But this last year, this voyage-I don"t know what she thinks."
A last year of being de facto senior captain. Of working with Ramirez"s unwanted appointee.
Of having a section of her ship in atevi and Mospheiran control, an arrangement not to her liking. If the Guild didn"t like "contamination," what did Sabin think?
"Have you seen any shift in her opinions?"
"I can"t read her. I do think whatever went on between Ramirez and the Guild, she"s on a completely different agenda. And keeping me out of the log-that"s said something, too, hasn"t it? She never was on Ramirez"s side. Always the contrary vote, always outvoted. And Ogun put her in charge here. Why, Bren? Why in h.e.l.l did he do that?"
"Admittedly putting her where she didn"t have to deal with an entire nation of atevi and diverse politics on the planet. Aboard a ship that"s dead set on its mission-a crew that"s going to be pretty hard to argue with if it gets this tape in hand, among other points. You talk about the Guild possibly taking over. But that"s not the way the crew feels about past decisions, if I have it right."
"A two-edged sword. If Ramirez was against against the Guild, if blame for this goes against the Guild, if blame for this goes against him him, I was born part of it. And that"s the critical detail I don"t know. I don"t know when it could blow up and I don"t know what"s going to be the issue."
"You"ve got the tape. You could release it. You could take your position from that."
"And that could blow wider than I intend. Stranded Stranded is a hot enough word with Mospheirans, but let me tell you, abandoning survivors at Reunion-that nearly fried the interface. And things don"t make sense. The is a hot enough word with Mospheirans, but let me tell you, abandoning survivors at Reunion-that nearly fried the interface. And things don"t make sense. The way way the lie was constructed, right from the start of the ship coming into Reunion, how do you read that? the lie was constructed, right from the start of the ship coming into Reunion, how do you read that? I I can"t answer it." can"t answer it."
"Plain logic: Ramirez stopped the situation, froze the tape until he knew what he"d do."
"Until he"d made up what his story was."
"Ramirez didn"t know what he"d find going back to Alpha. He knew things might not be optimum. As they weren"t. Ten years getting refueled was a miracle, as was. If the crew had known, they still couldn"t change things, but they"d have sweated and fretted harder. And crew can understand that."
"That"s logic. But it"s not emotion. There"ve been too many lies, Bren. The depth of deception in this one event has too many layers. Tamun"s mutiny was only one manifestation of the poison poison of lies that"s run on this ship." of lies that"s run on this ship."
"There"s only one layer in this lie. Ramirez needed the crew to take orders without division of opinion."
"And if the crew hadn"t ever found out there were survivors? Would he ever ever have told the truth?" have told the truth?"
"He"d had the ship fueled. Priority. He"d had the ship fueled. We"re going where he prepared this ship to go. That"s a fact, isn"t it? I think he sweated the situation he knew he"d left."
"The fact fact is, he told us for all those years we were the last human outpost, there at Alpha. The last hope for humanity. The sole planet for atevi. That we were all preparing a planetary defense. That we were building another starship for a counter-strike; if we had to. is, he told us for all those years we were the last human outpost, there at Alpha. The last hope for humanity. The sole planet for atevi. That we were all preparing a planetary defense. That we were building another starship for a counter-strike; if we had to. Then Then we get the facts. And this crew"s wild enthusiasm for this venture ran out in the first month of this voyage, far from civilization. Now we"re down to grim determination and the very real likelihood we"re going to find the station dead after all this effort. Things aboard are quiet. They we get the facts. And this crew"s wild enthusiasm for this venture ran out in the first month of this voyage, far from civilization. Now we"re down to grim determination and the very real likelihood we"re going to find the station dead after all this effort. Things aboard are quiet. They will will be quiet, until there"s some result. But if I take this to the crew-" be quiet, until there"s some result. But if I take this to the crew-"
"You"re a captain. Equal to Sabin, on your watch. You have the authority to decide the course of this ship, the same as she does."
"I"m a captain who knows less about the operation of this ship than the average maintenance grunt. I"m a d.a.m.n linguist, Bren! That"s what I am. That"s all all I am, and I"m not even competent at that." I am, and I"m not even competent at that."
"You are competent. What you can do is always invisible to you. From outside perspective... you don"t have to sit a technical post. You can command the techs. You can say, go here, or go there. That"s all the captains do, that I"ve ever observed."
"And what do I do when we come charging in to Reunion and I haven"t any of the Guild computer keys?"
"As surviving surviving ship"s executive," Bren said in Ragi, "might one not say-the keys weren"t pa.s.sed?" ship"s executive," Bren said in Ragi, "might one not say-the keys weren"t pa.s.sed?"
Jase stared at him. Outright stared. Maybe took an internal moment to translate that twice. But Jase had been in Shejidan, and knew the atevi court, and the use of daggers and plots. The paidhi-aiji was steeped in that culture. And at a pinch, could more than think think in Ragi. in Ragi.
"The full range of alternatives," Bren said, again in Ragi. And in Mosphei": "A question. Merely a question."
"Too much unknown," Jase said in Ragi. And in ship-speak: "And I"m human, and I"m holding a bomb, in this record. And I respect Sabin. I do respect her. I didn"t start this voyage that way, but I do."
"Granted. Not incompatible considerations."
Maybe Jase needed a dose of Ragi. Maybe he added, not subtracted, possibilities and solutions. But it remained an uncomfortable situation.
"You respected Ramirez," Bren reminded him, in Ragi.
"And by all you say, nadi, who knows? Maybe he was about to execute the plan you used to think he had. He released the Archive to the planet. He wasn"t that worried about contamination. Or he"d reconciled himself to us. Maybe he really did refuel the ship as a defense. He planned for another starship... but that"s going to be atevi-run. The aiji"s help could provide him his widest ambitions. A developed planet, all those resources. Maybe he wasn"t, in his own plan, going back until he"d prepared a base that wouldn"t fall under Guild control."
Worth considering, at least. Jase steepled his hands, thinking, and thinking. "He deployed me, and Yolanda."
"Yet put you you back in s.p.a.ce, but not her." back in s.p.a.ce, but not her."
"It"s a d.a.m.ned circle, Bren. Everything runs in a circle."
"He wasn"t getting any younger. The Tamun blow-up took his health. He didn"t plan, perhaps, to be overheard in what he told you."
"About the Great Lie? Betraying the Guild?"
"I"m betting, though," Bren said, "that at least by then, the other captains knew what had happened back at Reunion. It would have been irresponsible of him to know there was a Guild authority surviving out here in that critical situation, and not to tell those who"d succeed him. He was dying and told you the biggest secret aboard to make you equal to them. And maybe he wanted to know, for one thing, how you"d take it. And whether you forgave him."
"Emotional answers. Not logical ones."
"The man was dying. At that point, maybe emotional answers mattered."
"Wanting me to make the decision? Me, but not Yolanda? d.a.m.n it all!"
"And Ogun. And Sabin. It would be their decision, too, when he was out of the picture."
"I"d be the deciding vote. d.a.m.n d.a.m.n him!" him!"
"If they split. As they didn"t."
"Most days I forgive him. I suppose I forgive him. I suppose we"re doing the right thing in coming out here. And if we show up and the Guild does what"s ultimately sensible, and boards the ship, and take orders, so many things will become moot. But by all I know about what"s happened in the past-I don"t think that"s highly likely."
"I never thought it was all that likely, where the Guild is concerned. If they"d wanted to leave Reunion, they"d have left, wouldn"t they? But they"ve had nine years now to get worse off-or better. If they"re stronger and more recalcitrant, we may have decisions to make."
"Sabin"s going to decide those issues. That"s the fact I can"t change."
"Crew may decide," Bren said. "And you have that tape."
"I"ll confess," Jase said, "I"ve had it for the last month."
"Not surprising you"d think about it before showing it to me."
"I"m out of time for thinking. I had to show it to you. We"re coming up on the last move."
Last move.
"Before Reunion."
"This next one I really think will put us there."
A small inner shiver. "You know, I never get used to this I think I think business." business."
"s.p.a.ce is lumpy," Jase said.
"All that. But I still don"t like to hear I guess I guess from the navigators." from the navigators."
"Or from your partner in this mess?"
"Some things you can"t figure with a computer. Jase, we"ll make it. We do what we"ll do when we get there. It"s all we can can do at the moment, but we just plot alternate positions, if it doesn"t work. Same as I suppose your navigators do. Which is why I think you called me here." do at the moment, but we just plot alternate positions, if it doesn"t work. Same as I suppose your navigators do. Which is why I think you called me here."
Jase gave a wry, one-sided smile. Started the tape moving again. On the screen, the exploration reached a corner.
"The fact is," Jase said, "the one reconciling fact, in all the Old Man planned, is that he wanted me in some kind of authority over my own destiny. More than that, I think he"d be happy you"re here. And honored that the dowager is here, with all she represents. I think you"re right. Contamination no longer frightened him. He"d reconciled himself to the blended civilization he"d found. I think, all his old Guild notions to the contrary, he"d found the universe a far more dangerous place than he"d ever imagined, and before he died, he"d learned to take allies where he could get them. Yolanda kept her standoffishness from local culture. I didn"t. I fell far more deeply not just into downworld culture, but into atevi culture, and the one thing that both infuriates me and encourages me is that Ramirez appointed me me to succeed him. Me. to succeed him. Me. My My view of the universe. My atevi-contaminated, impure view of the universe humans have to live in. It"s not a degree of importance I ever wanted, I"ll tell you. But the thought that Ramirez meant to do it, that he actually approved what I am-is what gives me the courage to get out of bed and go on duty." Jase pressed a b.u.t.ton and skipped ahead, to a point where the helmet-cam view reached a sealed pressure door. In rapid motion they locked through, and then... view of the universe. My atevi-contaminated, impure view of the universe humans have to live in. It"s not a degree of importance I ever wanted, I"ll tell you. But the thought that Ramirez meant to do it, that he actually approved what I am-is what gives me the courage to get out of bed and go on duty." Jase pressed a b.u.t.ton and skipped ahead, to a point where the helmet-cam view reached a sealed pressure door. In rapid motion they locked through, and then...
Then the record ended. Stopped.
"That"s it?"Bren asked.
"That"s it," Jase said. "That"s all we have. It"s absolutely not regulation that the tape stops like that. It"s very much against regulations. And maybe Sabin knows what happened next and maybe she doesn"t, but certainly, based on that tape, you and I don"t. And that"s the other reason I wanted to talk to you. You"re the diplomat. My outrageous instinct says have the inevitable confrontation with Sabin about this tape right now, before we get to Reunion Station. Tell her what I know, what I suspect, all the structure of tissue and moonbeams. If it"s going to blow up, let it blow and let"s talk about the ship"s great secret, and Ramirez"s crazy ideas, and settle it before we have another crisis on us. Let me add a fact to keep between you and me. We"ve run with a little excess of fuel, ship"s rule. Enough fuel reserve to get out to a place we know if things aren"t optimum or if the Guild tries to take us. If If Sabin"s disposed to do it-she can get us away from Reunion. The name of the place is Gamma. And you"re right-I can order that, if Sabin is in some way incapacitated. There are resources there. It would take us years, but we"d get home that way. On the other course, if we do go into Reunion, and dock, and open the hatch-by then we"re dealing with somebody else, with Sabin involved, with people she"ll know and I won"t-who are going to outright outnumber us. Not to mention the crew may be in a very foul mood, once the truth starts coming out. As it still may. If they start talking to remote cousins and the stray mourned-for-dead uncle, all sorts of truth is Sabin"s disposed to do it-she can get us away from Reunion. The name of the place is Gamma. And you"re right-I can order that, if Sabin is in some way incapacitated. There are resources there. It would take us years, but we"d get home that way. On the other course, if we do go into Reunion, and dock, and open the hatch-by then we"re dealing with somebody else, with Sabin involved, with people she"ll know and I won"t-who are going to outright outnumber us. Not to mention the crew may be in a very foul mood, once the truth starts coming out. As it still may. If they start talking to remote cousins and the stray mourned-for-dead uncle, all sorts of truth is going going to come out, this time." to come out, this time."
"You"re the number two captain," Bren reiterated. "You decide what to do. You always had the authority to go after that log record. A little more questionable extension of authority, I suppose, that you show it to me. More, to show it to the crew. But by Ramirez"s decision and Ogun"s concurring vote, you are the number two captain. So I"d think you do have that authority to break this secret wide open-if you choose. It"s your watch. Isn"t it?"
"Clearly my watch. And the burning question still remains-what else do we do with it?"
"When you show it to me, you clearly know you"re showing it to my security. And the dowager"s. I might have given you special privacy. You didn"t ask it."
"You keep secrets. So does the dowager." keep secrets. So does the dowager."
"Secrets again?"
"That"s the eternal question on this ship, isn"t it?"
"Tell Ginny Kroger," Bren said. "She"s tied into our information. It"s hard to keep her apart from anything."
"And her staff circulates on three-deck."
"And if they know-crew"s not far. You"re right. Everywhere we turn, there"s another question how wide to take this, and it all runs in a circle... once you tell one other individual, it all leads eventually to the crew."
"You understand my problem," Jase said. "And telling Gin Kroger, who"s next to telling you, eventually leaves everyone on the ship but but the crew knowing what"s in this tape, which has got to be another psychological statement, so far as the crew"s concerned, doesn"t it? Pride. Trust. And how the crew knowing what"s in this tape, which has got to be another psychological statement, so far as the crew"s concerned, doesn"t it? Pride. Trust. And how do do we admit, this late in the game, that Ramirez lied to them twice? I"m just beginning to figure out how long Ramirez lied to we admit, this late in the game, that Ramirez lied to them twice? I"m just beginning to figure out how long Ramirez lied to me me."
"Secrets," Bren said, "never, ever served Phoenix Phoenix well. But letting them out just before making port is going to be difficult." well. But letting them out just before making port is going to be difficult."
"So here we are-trying to shut Reunion Station down and keep the aliens from tracking us back to Alpha? That"s a secret, isn"t it-and one we"re not going to confess to the Guild on first meeting. Secrets are our whole existence. Maybe some of them have to be kept. Even inside. I have sc.r.a.ps of facts that lead under closed doors. And what do we do? Fling wide all the doors? Open just one, thinking we can limit the damage? Restrict images during docking again, and hope that crew won"t think to ask until this has all worked and they"re too happy to lynch their officers?"
"We don"t even know for an a.s.sured fact," Bren said, "that Sabin herself has a clue what"s on this tape."
"She"s got Jenrette to ask."
"Maybe she"s never asked asked Jenrette. Or maybe Jenrette didn"t tell her everything." Jenrette. Or maybe Jenrette didn"t tell her everything."
"She knows there"s a question. Yes, she"s seen this tape, no matter when she saw it. She knows, by now. And knowing all she knows, knowing that I"ve been after this tape, she"s kept it to herself, letting me hunt for it-and ultimately letting you and me go into a situation on arrival without the information, if I didn"t get it. I think that, and I get very angry. And then I reason," Jase said quietly, not looking at him, "that she hasn"t failed to tell me yet. Not yet. And I keep waiting, day by day, for a briefing on what happened at Reunion-and on a dozen things I don"t even know to ask."
"And it doesn"t come," Bren said. "And it hasn"t come. And we"re running out of time. And you"re mad about that. And getting madder."
"It"s that emotional cloud again."
"You"re not sure you"re thinking straight about it?"
"I"m not sure I"m thinking straight about anything. A check on the thought processes is useful. So after a suitable time of sweating it alone-on the eve of our last ship-move-I asked you in on it... knowing... knowing, unless she does exactly what Ramirez did and freezes the station image... crew will see it, first glance. They haven"t thought to ask. No one"s thought to ask. But if it"s laid in front of them, they won"t take five minutes to figure it out."
"It"s been nine years. Station could have repaired themselves. Wouldn"t they?"
Deep breath. "True. And the natural expectation would be, yes, just expect any survivors would have gotten rotation established, on a fairly high priority, to a.s.sure there is someone alive and healthy to meet us. So we might get through that. But not once information starts flowing, between stationers and us. Then we"ll get the questions-and I have a dire suspicion there"s more to it than we know."
"You"re likely right."
"I think crew could swallow the worst suspicions-if it"s on a soaring expectation of success. But having lived lived down in the lower decks, as, mind, none of the other captains have done-I think if we let the rest of the crew find out in the middle of a crisis that they were lied to like this, they"ll blow, and this time-G.o.d knows. G.o.d knows whether mutiny is a possibility, but it"s happened once, and we don"t forget that. Sabin"s not overly concerned for crew opinion-never has been. So here I sit, thinking yes, no, go this way, go that way-I"ve put myself in a position, digging this out, an uncomfortable one, but I"ve found it. And now I have to sit on it or let it loose. Either"s a decision." down in the lower decks, as, mind, none of the other captains have done-I think if we let the rest of the crew find out in the middle of a crisis that they were lied to like this, they"ll blow, and this time-G.o.d knows. G.o.d knows whether mutiny is a possibility, but it"s happened once, and we don"t forget that. Sabin"s not overly concerned for crew opinion-never has been. So here I sit, thinking yes, no, go this way, go that way-I"ve put myself in a position, digging this out, an uncomfortable one, but I"ve found it. And now I have to sit on it or let it loose. Either"s a decision."
"No question."
"Third choice. Do I confront Sabin?"
"Truth is a fair start for a complex operation. Truth-at least between two captains of the same ship."
"So you think it"s a good idea to ask her?"
"I"m sure truth may precipitate certain things."
"I"m sure of that, too. But do you advise me to do it?"
"The idea has a certain merit. And certain downsides. Are you going going to do it?" to do it?"
"I want you in on it."