"Well, are you going to let me in or what?"
"Oh my G.o.d, of course." She sweeps the door open and I walk inside, glancing around for any glimpse of someone else being here. "Am I the first one here?"
"No." She wrings her hands together and I fall into step behind her as we head for the kitchen. "There"s someone else waiting for you."
Huh? What is she talking about? And why is she being so strange?
"I really hope you didn"t plan something unexpected, because I am so not in the mood." My earlier cheerfulness has evaporated and I want to go home.
"Stop worrying and come on." We walk through the kitchen, which leads to a small nook where her more informal dining table is. There"s a man sitting there, but I don"t know who he is and the room is dark. The curtains are drawn, not even letting in the dimming rays of sunlight, and he slowly stands to his feet.
Everything within me stops. The way he moves, the hair, the length of him ...
His face comes into view as he takes a step toward us and I reach out, grasping the edge of the granite countertop to keep me from toppling over.
It"s Caden.
"Okay, well, this is your chance for you two to make up. Ta-ta!" And with that Lily buzzes out of there, the loud slam of her front door indicating she"s left us in her apartment. Completely alone.
"Hey," he says, the sound of his deep, delicious voice melting everything within me.
I stand taller, stiffening my spine. I refuse to cave first. This man needs to grovel a bit. I can only a.s.sume Lily found Caden on her own, through Cash. That she set this entire meeting up for me, so I could talk to him and tell Caden he"s going to be a father.
But seeing him again after over two months, all the anger comes back to me, double force. I think of how he left me, snuck out in the middle of the night after writing me that stupid, irritating letter. I should hit him just for that letter alone.
"You look beautiful, Ro," he says after a long, charged moment of silence, and I clench one hand into a fist, my other hand still gripping the countertop tightly. "I"ve missed you."
I want to laugh. I also want to cry. "Really? Could"ve fooled me, what with the way you"ve reached out and tried to contact me."
The shadow that crosses his face makes me happy. Good. He should feel bad. He should feel incredibly guilty and s.h.i.tty for what he"s done. "I have my reasons," he starts, and this time I do laugh, cutting him off.
I can"t stop laughing. I just keep doing it. He doesn"t move, just stares at me as if I"ve lost my mind, and I do feel like I"ve lost it. I think I"m in a state of shock. I can"t believe he"s standing in front of me, looking so good, looking so clean and handsome and ... respectable? He"s wearing a b.u.t.ton-down shirt and charcoal-gray trousers. His hair is cut neatly and though it"s hanging loosely from his neck, he"s wearing a tie. Like he just got off work or something.
Huh?
My laughter starts to die, tears streaming down my cheeks, my belly aching. I"m not laughing anymore, I"m crying, and a sob bursts free from my lips. Sniffing, I cover my face with my hands and he moves into action. I can hear him. Feel him. He hesitates for only a moment as he stands right in front of me and then he"s drawing me into his arms, holding me close.
I stiffen in his embrace, telling myself I should be stronger. I shouldn"t give in so easily. His hand cups the back of my head and he presses my face against his chest. I can feel his heart race, smell his familiar, perfect scent. His other arm goes around my waist, fingers resting firmly on my hip, and I"ve never felt so right.
I feel like I"ve come home.
Giving in, I melt into him, slinging my arms around his waist as I cry. My tears dampen his shirt, his fingers comb through my hair, and he whispers rea.s.suring words to me. Words that warm my heart and send it aflutter, beating against my ribs so hard he can surely hear it.
"I"ve missed you so d.a.m.n much," he murmurs against my hair. "I was trying to do the right thing. Get my life on track, be a better man before I come find you and make you mine."
Stupid, silly man. What in the world is he talking about? "What do you mean?" I ask, my voice m.u.f.fled against his chest.
"I got a job. No more stealing, no more messing around. I"m an honest man now, doing an honest day"s work." He sounds proud and I squeeze him tight before I lift my head to look up at him.
"What are you doing? For work?"
He smiles, and the sight of it takes my breath away. "You wouldn"t believe it if I told you."
"Tell me," I urge.
Leaning in, he drops a sweet kiss on the tip of my nose. My body immediately reacts to his chaste kiss and I tell myself to calm down. I cannot make this easy for him. He needs to explain.
And then I have some explaining to do as well.
"I work at a jewelry store. It"s in Brooklyn, a great place that"s been around forever, and they take jewelry in on trade, or they bring it in to have it reset. I"m the one who a.s.sesses the stones and intricacy of the settings and declares its value," he explains.
I raise my brows. "Well, that sounds right up your alley."
"It is. Cash got me the interview." He pauses, studying me. "You met Cash, right? A couple weeks ago."
Nodding, I bite my lower lip. "I, um, met your mother, too."
"I know." He pushes a few stray hairs away from my forehead. "Cash told me."
Oh, G.o.d. This was all set up through Lily and Cash and maybe even Caden"s mom. Does he know? Does he have a clue about my condition? And if he does know, is he mad at me for keeping it from him?
"Ro, I was wrong for what I did. I shouldn"t have left you like that at the hotel back in London. I should"ve stuck it out and told you how I really felt rather than write it all in a stupid letter." His expression is pained, and a small piece of me is thankful that he regrets his actions.
Fine, a large piece of me is thankful.
"That letter almost killed me," I murmur softly. "It gave me hope. I thought you would come to your senses and find me when you got back here. But ... you didn"t."
"I always planned on finding you," he says, the words pouring out of him in a rush. "I only wanted to do it right. I wanted to make sure that I was established in my new job and that I was doing the right things. That I wouldn"t disappoint you. That"s the last thing I want to do. I never wanted to let you down."
"You never let me down until you left me like a coward." He flinches at that comment but I push on. "I would"ve accepted you as is. I did accept you. I ... I fell for you while we were together in London. How I felt about you scared me, but I didn"t care. I was going for it anyway. And then ... you left."
"Stupidest thing I could"ve ever done," he mutters, shaking his head, looking completely traumatized.
I reach up and sink my hands in his thick, soft hair. "You cut it," I murmur.
He smiles. "Yeah. Need to look respectable."
"I miss it." I stroke his hair, his eyelids wavering at my touch, and all I can think about is how fast can I get him naked.
No. Don"t think like that. Make him work for this.
"I miss you." He lets go of me and my hands fall away from him. But then he"s touching me again, his hands cupping my face, and I grip his hips, overwhelmed at the sincerity and love I see shining in his dark eyes. "I f.u.c.ked up. I know I did. I"m asking for your forgiveness. I need it. I need you. I was only trying to do the right thing and in the end I drove away the only woman I could ever love."
My heart cracks at his words and fresh tears spring to my eyes. He"s trying to make me cry buckets, I swear. "Oh, Caden ..."
He gives my head a gentle shake. "I"m serious, Ro. I"m in love with you. I love you. I"ve missed you so d.a.m.n much. I should"ve come and got you sooner, but my stupid pride got in the way and I wanted to be worthy of you."
"You were always worthy of me. You just didn"t see it," I whisper, making him smile.
"You"ve made me the luckiest man in the world. I don"t deserve you." I open my mouth to protest, but he cuts me off by sealing his mouth over mine in a quick, firm kiss. "It"s true. But I"m not going to deny it any longer. It doesn"t matter if I deserve you or not. I love you. I want you in my life. I f.u.c.king need you in my life, Ro. I just need to know ... will you have me?"
I gape at him, overwhelmed by his words, by the love shining in his eyes. His thumbs stroke across my cheeks, making my knees weak, and I reach up, curling my fingers around his wrists so I can cling to him for dear life. "I missed you. I was so mad that you left that note. That you left me. But I forgive you for it." I swallow hard, knowing that I have something far more important to tell him than just offering my forgiveness.
His expression is one of sweet relief. "Thank Christ," he mutters.
Worry consumes me. What if he becomes upset at my news? What if he rejects me and our baby? I don"t know if I could ever recover from such a thing. "I love you, too," I whisper, my throat aching. "I love you so much and ... I have something I need to tell you."
His brows lower in that way they do when he"s worried or concerned. His grip loosens on my face and his touch becomes whisper soft as his eyes search mine. "What is it?"
I press my lips together, my stomach roiling with nerves. At least it"s not nausea. I need to get this over with. Just ... blurt it out. Like ripping off a Band-Aid instead of peeling it off slowly. This sort of thing is better if it"s done swiftly. Taking a deep breath, I swallow hard and say, "I"m pregnant. With your baby."
And then I promptly burst into tears.
Chapter Twenty-seven.
Caden
The confirmation that Rose is carrying my baby is almost sweeter than hearing my girl tell me that she loves me. Almost.
I don"t like that she"s crying, though. This isn"t a sad moment. This is one of joy, one to be celebrated. Somehow Rose found it in her heart to forgive me and we"re going to have a baby together. We"re going to be a family.
Holy. s.h.i.t.
"Caden?" Her sweet, slightly worried voice knocks me from my thoughts. "Did you hear me?"
"Yeah, baby. I heard you." I catch one of her tears with my thumb, then lean in and catch another one with my lips. "Don"t cry," I whisper against her cheek. "You"re going to have my baby. I"m the happiest man alive right now."
Her crying kicks back into gear and I pull her into my arms, holding her close, pressing kisses against her forehead and telling her again and again how much I love her. My shirt is soaked with her tears but I don"t care. She"s in my arms. I got her back.
She"s mine.
Once Cash told me about seeing Rose, everything slowly fell into place. I didn"t rush into trying to find Rose. I made sure I knew what I wanted to tell her before I went to Cash and told him I was ready. I didn"t want to blow it. If I came after her and told her I knew she was pregnant, she"d think I wanted to be with her only because of the baby, not because I"m madly in love with her.
And I am madly in love with her-the baby is just a bonus. Yeah, it"s scary. I can"t lie and I bet she"s scared too, but together we can handle this. We"re going to be a family and I refuse to walk out on my family like my father did. Like Rose"s mother did to her family. We"ve got each other"s backs. We"ll be strong together. We belong together.
She knows it. And I know it too.
Cash spoke with Lily, who came up with the idea to have Rose over for a dinner party at which we"d be the only attendees. There wouldn"t be any dinner, either, though now that I consider it, she"s probably hungry. She needs to eat since she"s doing it for two.
"Rose." I whisper her name against her forehead and she shudders in my arms. "Are you hungry? We need to get you something to eat."
Laughing, she tilts her head back to stare up at me. "I am a little hungry," she admits, then frowns. "I"ve had the worst morning sickness, Caden. You wouldn"t believe how bad it"s been."
"Yeah?" I smooth my hand over her hair. That about kills me, knowing she"s been suffering and I haven"t been with her to take care of her. "Are you okay? You"re healthy? The, uh, baby is okay too?" I hesitate over my questions, which is dumb, but it"s so weird, knowing she"s going to have my baby.
I never once thought I would get married, have a baby, have a family, have a real, normal life. I didn"t think it was in the cards for me. My parents were f.u.c.ked and I learned all I knew about relationships and life from them. Meaning I learned jack s.h.i.t.
I figured I would be alone. I would belong nowhere and to no one, and I believed that was the way I preferred it.
What a fool I was.
Instead I met this woman in my arms. She taught me how to be a friend and how to love. She"s offering me a new life where I can stand on my own two feet, where I can work and have someone to come home to and a family to love. A child to bear my name and carry it on and give my mom a new purpose in life.
I"m truly the luckiest d.a.m.n man in the world.
"I"m good. The first two months were hard." She offers me a strained smile. "But it"s getting better and the baby is healthy, so no worries there."
"Do you know what it is yet?" What do I want? A boy or a girl? I have no clue. I just want the baby to be healthy and to look like its mama.
She smiles and shakes her head. "It"s too early. I did hear the baby"s heartbeat, though."
"Really?" I"m amazed. That must have made it seem so real, that she"s carrying a fragile little life inside her body.
"Yeah, it was pretty awesome." She lifts her gaze to mine. "Let"s get out of here, Caden. I want to go back to my place."
Lily left me a key to give to the security guard if I got so lucky that Rose wanted to leave with me. "How close is your apartment?"
"I walked over."
Relief floods me. If we go back to her place, I"m a.s.suming-after I get her fed and taken care of-that I can take her to bed.
"Let"s go, then," I say, trying to restrain my anxiousness. But it"s d.a.m.n hard. Especially when she flashes me that beautiful smile I haven"t seen in far too long and hooks her hand around the back of my neck, bringing my mouth down to hers. The kiss is hot and wet and deep, and I haul her in close. I will never let her go again. That she forgave my stupid a.s.s ...
I don"t know what I did to deserve her.
Hours later we"re lying naked in Rose"s bed, her leg slung over both of mine, and she"s rubbing her foot up and down my calves, driving me insane with just her freaking foot. I squeeze her waist and roll her over, my c.o.c.k already hard-again-and pressing against her belly. She smiles up at me, her cheeks rosy from hours of lovemaking. We have a lot of time to make up for.
But first, I want to make sure she"s okay. That she"s feeling well and isn"t too tired.
"You all right? Are you tired? It"s safe to have s.e.x like this, right? What with the baby and all ..." My voice trails off and she laughs.
"Now you ask. After you"ve had me every which way." She arches against me slightly, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, her hard nipples, teasing my chest. "Yes, it"s safe to have s.e.x while I"m pregnant," she says softly. "I"m not high risk or anything."
Relief floods me. "Good." I should have asked her that sooner, I know I should have, but I was so eager to get her naked and beneath me I could hardly think. The moment we walked into her bedroom I was stripping her naked. Helped that her dress was so easy. Just one tug and it was falling down around her waist and she wasn"t wearing a bra. I was downright disappointed to see her wearing panties.
Jesus, I am a complete pervert. But only for Rose.