"For a faery, you are kind," Seth amended.
"Come dance with me if you need to forget. I"ll hold that charm for you, not forever, but for as long as we negotiate in advance." Aobheall turned away and slid her hand down Niall"s face. "And you are still always welcome in my fountain."
Niall smiled. "I am in your debt."
She laughed again. "And when haven"t you been? I like keeping you there."
The Dark King kissed her. Shadows shifted into the water droplets. Instead of multicolor rainbows, the arc that formed was shimmering bands of gray and silver studded with bursts of light. As Niall kissed Aobheall, her form dissipated, and she became a part of the water falling in her fountain. The sound of her final sigh lingered for a brief moment.
Niall stepped out of the fountain and into the park. "Seth?"
Silently, Seth followed him. The Summer Girls weren"t dancing; the cubs had stopped playing; the rowan were motionless. None of the Summer Court denizens were eager to have conflict with Niall. Well, maybe a few of them were, if the looks on their faces-especially Siobhan"s-were honest. In truth, Seth suspected that more than a couple of the Summer Girls still sought Niall out, but that wasn"t something Seth wanted to know.
"Tracey?" Niall called.
She spun to him and held out her hands. The vines on her skin shrunk away from Niall, but she didn"t. Niall took both of her hands in his.
"You really oughtn"t do this again." Niall stepped on the tendril of a vine snaking from her ankle toward Seth. He ground it under his boot. "Seth is my brother now."
"We like Seth. He was sad and leaving us..." Tracey reached a hand toward Seth.
Niall caught her wrist, stopping her from touching Seth. "So you took his charm to make him feel better?"
Tracey nodded. Several others, including Siobhan and Eliza, came to stand beside Tracey.
"He was happier," Eliza said. "What does it matter why?"
"You could be happy with us. Stay with us, and you"d be near Aislinn too," Tracey murmured to Seth. "We don"t want you to leave us too."
"The queen is just struggling." Siobhan"s words were to Seth, but she stared at Niall as she spoke. "That happens sometimes when people want things that confuse them. You shouldn"t leave her behind."
"I wasn"t leaving. I was...I just need some s.p.a.ce." Seth glanced across the street. The windows of the loft were open. Plants from inside and outside crowded into them. Wanting closer to her. To them. He didn"t want to explain his feeling to anyone, not his friend, not the Summer Girls. Somehow his business had become public; too many people knew things that should be private. A burst of anger filled him at the thought. "I"m not...I"m just done with dealing with this right now."
He turned and started walking. Either Niall would come with him, a rowan guard would follow, or one of the glaistigs would take the task. No leaving me un-watched. He didn"t choose to be a subject of Faerie, but he was. Court affiliation or not, he was under their control. I did choose it when I chose her. Right now though, with the image in his head of Aislinn resting in Keenan"s bed, that realization wasn"t much comfort.
Niall was silent as they walked to Seth"s train. He was silent as Seth filled the kettle and measured the tea. He was even silent as Seth fed Boomer. Faeries could do patience far better than Seth could; even with years of practicing meditation, Seth"s calm felt too easily rattled.
He poured the boiling water from the kettle into the small teapot Aislinn had found for him in some shop. When she was a mortal. Seth pushed that thought away. She wasn"t mortal. She wasn"t going to be ever again. Waiting for things to get better wasn"t good enough. Things could stay as they were, or they could move forward.
Seth sat down across from his friend. "Even Tracey is stronger than I am."
"You"re a mortal." Niall held his still empty cup. "If you hadn"t lost your charm-"
"I didn"t lose it."
"Point." Niall took the teapot and poured their cups. "It"s difficult I"m sure..."
"You have no idea." Seth"s snort of laughter even sounded bitter to him. "You"ve never been human. You"re all so d.a.m.n perfect, so strong, so...everything. That"s what Ash needs."
"Don"t go there," Niall cautioned. "Nothing you could follow that with is wise."
"What would have happened if Aobheall was in a different mood?"
"The girls didn"t mean you harm. Not really. If Ash wasn"t so distracted right now-" Niall stopped himself. "If you need out of our world, I will help you. Maybe you should consider going."
"That isn"t what I want." Seth sipped his tea. He felt like Aislinn was slipping away, and he wasn"t sure how much longer he"d be able to stay in her world as a mortal. She didn"t call him when she was hurt because he was too vulnerable. The conflict between the courts was growing. It felt like he needed out or in; being halfway between worlds wasn"t a viable plan.
Seth sat his cup down and told Niall, "I want to be a faery."
Niall looked appalled. "No, you don"t."
Seth poured another cup of tea. "I"m not interested in dying or in leaving her. I"m not strong enough to stand against the weakest faeries. I can"t resist a glamour...I need to be a faery."
Niall stared at him. "This is a bad plan, my friend. Trust me."
Seth paused then. My friend. A faery"s use of such terms was a gift, not done lightly, not to be ignored. "I value your friendship, Niall, and I trust you completely. That"s not at question."
Niall"s tense expression relaxed a bit.
Then Seth continued, "But I won"t change my mind just because you disagree. You know me better than that. Help me?"
Niall got up and paced. "I"m tempted. Despite knowing it would be selfish of me, despite knowing it would destroy you if I helped you do this thing, despite how much I care for you...I"m still tempted."
"You"re losing me." Seth dumped the ashtray he"d set out for Niall. He might accept his friend"s smoking, but the stench of cigarette b.u.t.ts disgusted him. "Explain."
"Two courts can work together to create a curse like Irial and Beira did-but I won"t curse you. The only other choice is going through Sorcha, and there would be a cost there as well."
"What kind of cost?"
"With Sorcha? Probably my becoming a bit mortal, you becoming a bit twisted...Balance. Exchange. That"s her deal." Niall paused; his stillness seemed almost as jarring as his pacing had been. "She could shift essences. I would a.s.sume some of your mortality, making me unfit to be Dark King. I would be done with the burden that Irial foisted off onto me, and you would a.s.sume some of my...nature."
"So you win. You get out of here, and I get to-"
"No." Niall walked to the sink and rinsed his cup.
"It"s my choice," Seth said.
"History is filled with people rushing into disaster for love of one sort or another. My history is filled with the results of such deplorable choices." Niall walked to the door. He looked haunted and strangely afraid of Seth.
"So you made mistakes; that doesn"t mean I would."
"Not me, Seth. The people whose lives I ruined." Niall opened the door. "I won"t be a part of your mistake. Enjoy the time you have with Ash, or move on. Those are your only choices."
Seth sat staring at the door after Niall left. My only choices. Neither of those choices was good enough-but Niall had given Seth another choice.
Sorcha. The High Queen is the answer.
Now Seth just needed to find her.
Chapter 16.
The commotion at the door was to be expected. Donia felt the waves of heat pulsing against her from the pew where she sat just inside the entryway. Across from her, on the seats and backs of other church pews, faeries waited attentively. It wasn"t quite popcorn-at-the-movies, but it wasn"t far from it. Sasha wasn"t there; such amus.e.m.e.nts were befuddling to the wolf. The faeries, however, were rapt.
"I will come in," Keenan repeated for the third time.
"Unless my queen consents, you will not." The rowan stood before the door, as imposing and resolute as he had been when he guarded Donia under Keenan"s command. None of them had forgotten that he had once pledged his fealty to the same Summer King to whom he was denying entry.
"Don"t force me to do this, Evan."
Evan didn"t flinch, although Donia did. The idea of Evan being hurt filled her with fear. If it wouldn"t undermine Evan"s authority, if it wouldn"t undermine her own, she"d tell him to stand down, but letting Keenan walk in freely when she"d ordered otherwise was unacceptable. If she didn"t intend to speak to him, she would call reinforcements, but that too was unacceptable. She needed to talk to him, but he needed to grasp that her door was not open to him. The implied statement of only token resistance, the insult of having only one guard-of that guard especially-at the door would not be lost on Keenan.
It was, like so much in Faerie politics, a game of sorts.
Once more Evan objected, "She has been clear that you are to be stop-"
The thud and hiss of burned wood was startling, albeit also inevitable. The door was completely incinerated. Evan was charred, but not fatally so. It could"ve been much worse. The Summer King could"ve started with violence instead of giving Evan the chance to back down. He could"ve killed Evan. He hadn"t. His restraint was a gift of sorts to her.
Keenan stepped over Evan"s p.r.o.ne body and stared at Donia. "I"ve come to speak to the Winter Queen."
Behind him, one of the kitsune, Rin, darted out to check on Evan. The fox-faery glared at Keenan from behind a spill of stark blue hair, but Rin"s animosity faded the moment Evan gripped her hand. Several other kitsune and a number of lupine faeries watched. They were standing and sitting and crouching expectantly. They"d make a stand against the Summer King, but Donia wasn"t willing to see any of them injured to prove a point. She"d trusted Evan-agreed with him even-that he needed to deny Keenan admission. That was as far as she felt like going.
"I don"t recall you having an appointment," she said as she turned and walked away, knowing that he"d follow. She wasn"t airing their quarrel in front of her faeries or going to allow them to feel the pain of his temper.
Keenan waited until they were outside in the garden. Then, he grabbed her arm and spun her around so she had to look at him. All he said was, "Why?"
"She upset me." Donia pulled free of his grasp.
"She upset you?" His expression of confused outrage was one she"d seen innumerable times over the years. That didn"t make it any easier. "You stabbed my queen, attacked my court because she upset you."
"Actually you upset me. She simply added to it." There was no inflection in her words. She kept her face free of emotions as well. Those dangerous feelings were sunk into the well of cold within her.
"Do you want war between our courts?"
"Most days, no." She took another step to the side, looking at the snow around her feet as if the whole conversation was of little interest to her. For a moment, she thought the ruse would work-on one of them at least. "I just want you to stay away from me."
Then he slipped close enough that her resolve faltered. "What happened, Don?"
"I made a choice."
"To challenge me? To prove your court is stronger? What?"
Ice extended from her fingers. He glanced at them-and exhaled. It melted.
He took her hand in his. "You stabbed Ash. What am I to do about that?"
"What do you want to do?" She curled her hand around his, holding on to him as tightly as she dared.
"Forgive you. Strike you. Beg you not to do this." His smile was sad. "My court...my queen...they are almost everything to me."
"Tell me you don"t love her."
"I don"t love Aislinn. I-"
"Tell me you won"t try to convince her to share your bed."
"I can"t say that, and you know it." With his free hand, Keenan absently reached out to the tree behind her and ran a hand over it. Tiny buds appeared under the ice. "One day, when Seth is gone-"
"Then you need to stay away from me." Donia could barely see him through the snow that was falling around her. "I don"t regret stabbing her. If your court continues to disregard my dominion, she will only be the first of many I"ll strike. Most of them aren"t strong enough to survive that."
"I"ll try to convince her one day...but "one day" is not right now." He eased even closer to her, mindless of the snowfall, melting the flakes and nearly blinding her with the sunlight that shined from his skin. The soil at her feet had become swampy as the heat from his body melted the thick crust of ice. It refroze under her feet, but in that moment it was the Summer King who was stronger. His rage gave him an edge over her. "Listen to me for a minute. You"re the only one I"ve ever cared for like this. I dream of you when I"m not with you. I wake with your name on my lips. I don"t need to stay away. She wants him, and I want you. When she told me that you stabbed her, it broke something in me. I don"t ever want to be at war with you. The idea of striking you terrifies me."
Donia stood motionless. The tree bark pressed into her skin. Keenan"s hand was gripped in hers.
"But if you touch my queen again, I"ll set that all aside. It"ll kill me inside, but she"s mine to keep safe. Don"t make us have to go there." He pulled his hand from hers and ran his fingers through her hair, and just as quickly as his temper had flared, it faded. He cupped her face. "Please?"
"It"s not just about her. You insult my sovereignty whenever you march in here making demands. No one does that. No other ruler. Not a one of the strong solitaries." She put her hands on his chest and let the ice in her hands extend just far enough to break his skin. "You have used up every mercy I had."
He leaned closer, and she couldn"t stop the instinct to retract the ice before it seriously wounded him. He smiled as she did so and said, "After all we"ve overcome to get this close, are you giving up on us now?"
She brushed her lips over his, briefly enough that it couldn"t really be called a kiss. Then she exhaled until ice clung to his face and clothes. She couldn"t stab him, not yet at least, but she could strike him.
"I love you, Don," he whispered. "I should"ve told you years ago."
Hearing it finally was a bittersweet thing, but that"s what it was to love him-painful and beautiful all at once. It had always been that way. Her heart sped and felt like it would break at the same time. She sighed and gave him the words back: "I love you too.... That"s why we need these things resolved. I"ll slaughter your court if we keep going this way."
He grinned. "Don"t bank on that."
Then he kissed her, not just a brush of lips as she"d done, but a kiss that scalded her tongue. The tree burst into full bloom. The garden flooded around her. A riot of flowers shot out of the earth.
She was mud-covered as he pulled back.
"I"ve had centuries to fight Winter with next to no power. I"m unbound now with all of that experience. If we are to be at odds, you might want to remember that." He held her as close as he had during the few nights they"d had together. It was controlled, a show of power; none of his heat touched her. "But I don"t want to be at odds. As long as he"s in her life, I"ll stop. I tried. I had to. It"s what"s best for the court-but she"s not mine to have yet."
Her breath and his mingled into a hiss of steam. "I don"t want only part of you during the few years I have you."
He tucked an orchid in her hair. It shouldn"t thrive here, but it did. "I"m not giving up on us or on peace between our courts. I love you. I"m done pushing Aislinn. The strength of Summer"s made me stupid. She wants to be with Seth, and as long as she is, I can have more time with you. I"d have forever with you if it were my choice." He kissed her gently. "I don"t love her. She and I talked already."
Donia looked away. "I pushed her toward you. I just made a mistake when I let myself think that you"d be mine for a few years...she"s your match. I"m not."
"Maybe someday, but right now...I was carried away by the first summer. It"s a heady thing, but I can redirect that energy. Let me have the dream of us for as long as we can. That"s what the court needs-a happy king, a king who can"t stop dreaming of being lost in someone who wants to be just as lost. Tell me you"ll let me get lost in you."