[Ill.u.s.tration: Those ---- Mouth-Organs.
"Keep away from the "ive, Bert; "e"s goin" to sting yer!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Garcong! the bill, tres vite!
That Provost-Marshal Feeling.
A sensation only to be had at a Base--in other words, a base sensation.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Blighty!]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Those Raiders at the Seat of War.
"I wish the "ell you"d put a cork on that blinkin" pin of yours, Bert!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Romance, 1917.
"Darling, every potato that I have is yours" (engaged).]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Modern Topography.
"Well, you see, here"s the church and there"s the post-office."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "There Was a Young Man of Cologne."
(I"ve forgotten the rest of the poem, but it"s something about "a bomb"
and "If only he"d known.")]
[Ill.u.s.tration: In the Support Trench.
Old Bill has practically decided to get Private Shinio (the ex-comedy-juggler and hand-balancer) transferred to another platoon.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: It"s the Little Things that Worry.
What is so particularly annoying to Private Lovebird is, that he would not have had this bother with his dug-out if his leave had not been postponed.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: That Periscope Sensation.
"I wonder if I oughtn"t to tell the captain about that thing sticking up in the sea over there."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: At the Brewery Baths.
"You chuck another sardine at me, my lad, and you"ll hear from my solicitors."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: A Miner Success.
"They must "ave "ad some good news or somethin", Alf; you can "ear "em cheerin" quite plain."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Birds of Ill Omen.
"There"s evidently goin" to be an offensive around "ere, Bert."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: If Only They"d Make "Old Bill" President of Those Tribunals.
"Well, what"s your job, me lad?"
"Making spots for rocking-horses, sir."
"Three months."
"Exemption, sir?"
"Nao, exemption be ----d! Three months" hard!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "Stars is funny things aint they Bill"
"Yes--funny!"
The Stargazers.
--and their return to earth.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Down at the Ration Dump.
"Call me a Tank again, my lad, and I"ll knock yer ---- "ead off!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: The Glorious Fifth.
""Ere, Guy Fawkes--buzz off!"]