Vici! 1916
Augusts Three.
To each year its type.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Overheard in an Orchard.
Said the Apple to the Plum: "Well, anyway, old man, they can never ask us what we did in the great war!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: LEARN To FIGHT
Anyone with a taste for Fishing, or Moth Collecting can learn to fight.
Anyone can put a hook in a worm, or a pin in a moth. WE DEVELOP THAT INSTINCT, and by our Postal Course of Instruction, will help you to earn big money by fighting
Subjects Taught:--
Bayonet work, bombing, & asphyxiation.
This sketch shows the work of a former pupil. Try this exercise yourself on a friend, and tell us the result. We will at once tell you your chances of success.
A lieutenant writes:--
Unfortunately I had not got as far as your chapter on Upper Cuts or I feel sure I should not be where I am now
yrs truly
Clearing Station GezainCourt.
Bruce Bairnsfather
The demand for fighters exceeds the supply
Write today
The Asphyxobomb School of Instruction
[Advt] Hooge.
Tips for Tommies.
Now that the war has become a world business, we must at any moment expect the appearance of this sort of thing in our papers.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Whilst the preliminary bombardment is on, one gets the idea that this is what"s happening to the enemy machine guns.
Yet somehow or other, when one starts for that 220 yards handicap across the turnip field, it feels something like this.
Bruce Bairnsfather
The Offensive.
What it looks like--and what it feels like.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "The Imminent, Deadly Breach."
"Mind you don"t fall through the seat of yer trousers, "Arry!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.
Telepathy.
"Two minds with but a single thought."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Trouville-sur-Somme.
"Tell "er to "op it, Bert. I"m sittin" on a bit o" sh.e.l.l or somethin"."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Omar the Optimist.
"Here with a loaf of bread beneath the row, A muttered curse, but ne"er a whine, and thou-- Beside me, singing in the wilderness, The wilderness is Paradise enow."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "Where do yer want this put, Sargint?"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Coming to the Point.
"Let"s "ave this pin of yours a minute. I"ll soon "ave these winkles out of "ere."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: A Castle in the Air.
"A few more, Bert, and that there chateau won"t be worth livin" in."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: The Freedom of the Seas.
"I wish they"d "old this war in England--don"t you, Bill?" (No answer.)]