"d.a.m.n it!" he said. "Everything was going so smoothly!" and his right fist smashed against his left palm.
"I haven"t even seen the product," I said.
He got up and stalked out of the room, came back and handed me a pipe.
"Nice pipe," I said.
"Five thousand," he told me. "Cheap."
"I"m really not much of a pipe-smoker."
"I won"t cut you in for more than ten percent," he said. "I"ve been handling this thing personally, and you"re not going to queer it."
And then I got mad. All that b.a.s.t.a.r.d thought about, besides eating, was stacking up his wealth. He automatically a.s.sumed I spent my time the same way, just because a lot of leaves on the Big Tree say "Sandow." So, "I want a third, or I make my own deal," I said.
"A third?"
He leaped to his feet and began screaming. It was a good thing that the room was soundproof and debugged. It had been a long time since I"d heard some of those expressions. He grew red in the face and he paced. Greedy, money-grubbing, unethical me sat there thinking about pipes while he ranted.
A guy with a memory like mine has many odd facts in his head. Back in my youth, on Earth, the best pipes were made either of meerschaum or briar. Clay pipes draw awfully hot and wooden ones crack or burn out quickly. Corncobs are dangerous. In the latter part of the twentieth century, possibly because of a generation growing up in the shadow of a Surgeon General"s Report on respiratory diseases, pipe smoking had undergone something of a renaissance. By the turn of the century, the world"s supply of briar and meerschaum was largely exhausted. Meerschaum, or hydrous magnesium silicate, is a sedimentary rock which occurred in strata composed in part of seash.e.l.ls that had fused together over the ages, and when it was all gone, that was it. Briar pipes were made from the root of the White Heath, or _Erica Arborea_, which grew only in a few areas about the Mediterranean and had to be around a hundred years old before it was of any use. The White Heath had been subjected to wanton harvesting, with anything like a reforestation plan far from mind. Consequently, substances like pyrolitic carbon now do for the bulk of pipe smokers, but meerschaum and briar linger in memories and collections. Small deposits of meershaum have been discovered upon various worlds and turned into fortunes overnight. Nowhere but on Earth, however, has _Erica Arborea_ or a suitable subst.i.tute ever turned up. And pipe smoking is the mainliner"s way of smoking these days, DuBois and me being mavericks. The pipe Bayner had shown me was a pretty, fiame-grained briar. Therefore . . .
". . . Fifteen percent," he was saying, "which barely allows me a small profit--"
"Nuts! Those briars are worth ten times their weight in platinum!"
"You cut my heart out if you ask for more than eighteen percent!"
"Thirty."
"Be reasonable, Frank."
"Then let"s talk business, not nonsense."
"Twenty percent is all I can let you in for, and it will cost you five millions--"
I laughed.
So for the next hour I haggled, out of pure cussedness, resenting the estimation he"d placed on me and refused to disbelieve. I lived up to it, too. Like twentyfive and a half percent for four million, which required a phone call to Malisti to swing the financing. I really hated to wake him.
And that"s how I nailed down a piece of the briar business on Driscoll. Ridiculous is a better word than strange, but then everyone lives in the shade of the Big Tree, remember?
After it was all over, he slapped me on the shoulder and told me I was a cool dealer and that he"d rather have me with him than against him, made us another round of drinks, sounded me out on getting Martin Bremen away from me, as he"d never been able to hire a Rigelian chef, and asked me once again who had tipped me off.
He dropped me at Bartol Towers, the uniform moved my car a few feet and held the door for me, got its money, turned off its smile and went away. I drove back to the Spectrum, wishing I"d eaten there and gotten to bed early instead of spending my evening autographing leaves.
The radio in the sled played a Dixieland number I hadn"t heard in ages. That, and the rain that came a moment later, made me feel lonely and more than a little sad. Traffic was light. I hurried.
The following morning, I sent a courier-gram to Marling of Megapei, telling him to rest easy in the knowledge that Shimbo would be with him before the fifth season, and asking him if he knew a Pei"an named Green Green, or some equivalent thereof, who might in any way be a.s.sociated with the Name Belion. I asked him to reply by courier-gram, reverse-charge, and send his answer to Lawrence j Conner, c/o Homefree, and I didn"t sign it. I planned on leaving Driscoll for Homefree that same day. A courier-gram is about the fastest and one of the most expensive ways there is of sending an interstellar message; and even so, I knew there would be a lapse of a couple of weeks before I received a reply.
It was true that I was running a small risk of blowing my cover on Driscoll by sending a message of that cla.s.s with a Homefree return on it, but I was leaving that day and I wanted to expedite things.
I checked out of the hotel and -drove to the place on Nuage, to give it a final once-over, stopping for a late breakfast on the way.
I found only one thing new at the Raspberry Palace. There was something in the message-slot. It was a wide envelope, bearing no return address.
The envelope was for "Francis Sandow, do Ruth Laris." I took it inside with me and did not open it until I"d satisfied myself that there were no lurkers. Then I repocketed a tiny tube, capable of producing instant, silent and natural-seeming death, seated myself and opened my mail.
Yes.
Another picture.
It was Nick, my old friend Nick, Nick the dwarf, dead Nick, snarling through his beard and ready to leap at the photographer, standing there on a rocky ledge.
"Come visit Illyria. All your friends live there," said a note, in English.
I lit my first cigarette of the day.
Malisti, Bayner and DuBois knew who Lawrence John Conner was.
Malisti was my man on Driscoll, and I paid him enough so that he was, I thought, above bribery. Admitted, other pressures can be brought to bear on a man--but he himself had only learned my true ident.i.ty the day before, when _Baa-baa blacksheep_ had provided the key for the decoding of a special instruction. Not much time had pa.s.sed in which to apply pressure.
Bayner had nothing, really, to gain by bugging me. We were partners in a joint venture which represented one of those drops in those buckets people talk about. That was all. Our fortunes were such that, even if our interests did conflict on occasion, it was a very impersonal thing. He was out.
DuBois didn"t impress me as the sort to give away my name either, not after the way I"d spoken in his office concerning my willingness to resort to extreme means to obtain what I wanted.
n.o.body at Homefree had known where I was going, except for S & F, whose memory of the fact I"d erased prior to my departure.
I considered an alternative.
If Ruth had been kidnapped, forced to write the note she had written, then whoever had taken her could safely a.s.sume I"d receive this latest if I responded, and if not, no harm done.
This seemed possible, probable.
So it meant there was somebody on Driscoll whose name I"d like to know.
Was it worth sticking around for? With Malisti on the job, I might be able to ferret out the sender of the latest picture.
But if there was a man behind the man and he was smart, his subordinate would know very little, might even be a totally innocent party. I resolved to put Malisti on the trail and have him send his findings to Homefree. I"d use a phone other than the one at my right hand, however.
In just a few hours, it wouldn"t matter who knew that Conner was Sandow. I"d be on my way, and I"d never be Conner again.
"Everything that"s miserable in the world," Nick the dwarf once said to me, "is because of beauty."
"Not truth or goodness?" I"d asked.
"Oh, they help. But beauty is the culprit, the real principle of evil."
"Not wealth?"
"Money is beautiful."
"So is anything else you don"t have enough of--food, water, s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g . . ."
"Exactly!" he announced, slamming his beer mug down so heavily on the tabletop that a dozen heads were turned in our direction. "Beauty, G.o.dd.a.m.n it!"
"What about a good-looking guy?"
"They"re either b.a.s.t.a.r.ds because they know they"ve got it made, or they"re self-conscious because they know other guys hate their- guts. b.a.s.t.a.r.ds are always hurting other people, and the self-conscious guys screw themselves up. Usually they go queer or something, all because of that G.o.dd.a.m.n beauty!"
"What about beautiful objects?"
"They make people steal, or feel bad because they can"t get at them. d.a.m.n--!"
"Wait a minute," I said. "It"s not an object"s fault that it"s beautiful, or the pretty people"s fault that they"re pretty. It just happens that way."
He shrugged.
"Fault? Who said anything about fault?"
"You were talking about evil. That implies guilt somewhere along the line."
"Then beauty is guilty," he said. "G.o.dd.a.m.n it!"
"Beauty, as an abstract principle?"
"Yes."
"And in individual objects?"
"Yes."
"That"s ridiculous! Guilt requires responsibility, some kind of intent--"
"Beauty"s responsible!"
"Have another beer."
He did, and belched again.
"Take a look at that good-looking guy over at the bar," he said, "that guy trying to pick up the broad in the green dress. Somebody"s going to bust him one in the nose sometime. It wouldn"t have to happen if he was ugly."
Nick later proved his point by busting the guy one in the nose, because he"d called him Shorty. So maybe there was something to what he said. Nick was around four feet tall. He had the shoulders and arms of a powerful athlete. He could beat anybody I knew at wrist-wrestling. He had a normal-sized head, too, full of blond hair and beard, with a couple blue eyes above a busted nose that turned off to the right and a mean smile that usually revealed only half a dozen of his yellow-stained teeth. He was all gnarled below the waist. He"d come from a family lousy with professional soldiers. His father"d been a general, and all of his brothers and sisters except for one were officers in something or other. Nick had grown up in an environment alive with the martial arts. Any weapon you cared to name, he could operate it. He could fence, shoot, ride, set explosive charges, break boards and necks with his hands, live off the land, and fail any physical examination in the galaxy because he was a dwarf. I"d hired him as a game hunter, to kill off my experiments that went bad. He hated beautiful things and things that were bigger than he was.
"What I think is beautiful and what you think is beautiful," I said, "might disgust a Rigelian, and vice-versa. Therefore, beauty is a relative thing. So you can"t condemn it as an abstract principle if--"
"c.r.a.p!" he said. "So they hurt, rape, steal and screw themselves up over different things. It"s still because beauty sits there demanding violation."
"Then how can you blame an individual object--"
"We do business with Rigelians, don"t we?"
"Yes."
"Then it can be translated. Enough said."
Then the good-looking guy at the bar who"d been trying to pick up the broad in the green dress pa.s.sed by on his way to the Men"s Room and called Nick Shorty when he asked him to move his chair out of the way. That ended our evening in that bar.
Nick swore he"d die with his boots on, on some exotic safari, but he found his Kiimanjaro in a hospital on Earth, where they"d cured everything that was bothering him, except for the galloping pneumonia he"d picked up in the hospital.
That had been, roughly, two hundred and fifty years ago. I"d been a pallbearer.
I mashed out my cigarette and made my way back to the slip-sled. Whatever was rotten in Midi, I"d find it out later. It was time to go.
The dead are too much with us.
For two weeks, I puzzled over what I"d found and I kept myself fit. When I entered the Homefree system, my life was further complicated by the fact that Homefree had picked up an additional satellite. Not a natural one, either.
WHAT THE h.e.l.l, EXCLAMATION, I sent ahead in code.
VISITOR, came the reply. LANDING PERMISSION REQUESTED STOP DENIED STOP STILL CIRCLING STOP SAYS HES AN EARTH INTELLIGENCE MAN STOP LET HIM LAND, I said, HALF A HOUR AFTER IM DOWN STOP There came the acknowledgment, and I swung into a tight orbit and pushed the _Model T_ down and around and down.
After a frolic with the beasts, I repaired to my home for a shower, shucked my Conner face, then dressed for dinner.
It would appear that something finally meant enough to the wealthiest government in existence for someone to at last authorize a trip on the part of some underpaid civil servant in one of the cheapest interstellar vehicles available.
I vowed to at least feed him well.
III.
Lewis Briggs and I regarded one another across the remains of dinner and the wide table they occupied. His identification papers informed me that he was an agent of Earth"s Central Intelligence Department. He looked like a shaved monkey. He was a wizened little guy with a perpetually inquisitive stare, and it seemed as if he must be pushing retirement age. He"d stuttered just a bit when he"d introduced himself, but the dinner appeared to have relaxed him and the falter had halted.
"It was a very pleasant meal, Mister Sandow," he acknowledged. "Now, if I may, I"d like to discuss the business that brought me here."
"Then let"s adjourn to the upstairs, where we can get some fresh air while we talk."