". . . I"m sorry." I lowered the gun, almost dropped it.
"Why didn"t he let me stay dead?"
"Because once you were my friend, and then you were my enemy," I said. "You knew me, well."
"Because of you?" The tree swayed, as if reaching after me. He began to curse me, and I stood there and listened as the rain mingled with his blood and soaked into the ground. We had been partners in a joint venture one time, and he"d tried to cheat me. I"d brought charges, he was acquitted and tried to kill me afterwards. I put him in the hospital, back on Earth, and he"d died in an auto accident a week after his discharge. He would have killed me if he"d gotten the chance-- with a knife, I know. But I never gave him the chance. You might sort of say I helped his bad luck along when it came to the accident. I knew he"d never rest until he"d nailed me or was dead, and I didn"t feel like getting nailed.
The raking light made his features look ghastly. He had the complexion of a mushroom and the eyes of an evil cat. His teeth were broken and there was a festering sore on his left cheek. The back of his head was joined with the tree, his shoulders merged with it and there were two branches which might contain his arms. From the waist down he was tree.
"Who did it?" I asked.
"The big green b.a.s.t.a.r.d. Pei"an. . . ." he said. "Suddenly, I was here. I don"t understand. There was an accident . . ."
"I"ll get him," I said. "I"m going after him now. I"m going to kill him. Then I"ll get you out--"
"No! Don"t go!"
"It"s the only way, Dango."
"You don"t understand what it"s like," he said. "I can"t wait. . . . Please."
"It may only take a few days, Dango."
". . . And he may get you instead. Then it"ll be never. Christ! How it hurts! I"m sorry about that deal, Frank. Believe me. . . . Please!"
I looked down at the ground and up at the light.
I raised the gun and lowered it.
"I can"t kill you any more," I said.
He bit his lip and the blood ran down his chin and into his beard and the tears came out of his eyes. I looked away from his eyes.
I stumbled backwards and began mumbling in Pei"an. Only then did I realize I was near a power-pull. I could feel it suddenly. And I grew taller and taller, and Frank Sandow grew smaller and smaller, and when I shrugged the thunders rumbled. When I raised my left hand they roared. When I drew it down to my shoulder the flash that followed blinded me and the shock raised my hair upon my head.
. . . I was alone with the smells of ozone and smoke, there, before the charred and splintered thing that had been Dango the Knife. Even the will-o-the-wisp was gone now. The rain came down in torrents and laid the smells to rest.
I staggered back in the direction from which I had come, my boots making sucking sounds in the mud, my clothes trying to crawl under my skin.
Somehow, somewhere--I don"t remember exactly--I slept.
Of all the things a man may do, sleep probably contributes most to keeping him sane. It puts brackets about each day. If you do something foolish or painful today, you get irritated if somebody mentions it, today. If it happened yesterday, though, you can nod or chuckle, as the case may be. You"ve crossed through nothingness or dream to another island in Time. How many memories can he summoned up in a single instant? Many, it would seem. Actually, though, they"re only a small fraction of those which exist, somewhere. And the longer you"ve been around, the more of them you have. So, once I have slept, there are many things which come to aid me when I wish to anesthetize a particular occurrence. This may sound callous. It is not. I do not mean that I live without pain for things gone by, without guilt. I mean that over the centuries I have developed a mental reflex. When I have been swamped emotionally, I sleep. When I awaken, thoughts of other days come forth, fill my head. After a time, memory the vulture circles closer and closer, then descends upon the thing of pain. It dismembers it, gorges itself upon it, digests it with the past standing to witness. I suppose it is a thing called perspective. I have seen many persons die. In many fashions. I have never been unmoved. But sleep gives memory a chance to rev its engine and hand me back my head each day. For I have also seen people live, and I have looked upon the colors of joy, sorrow, love, hate, satiation, peace.
I found her in the mountains one morning, miles from anywhere, and her lips were blue and her fingers were frostbitten. She was wearing a tiger-striped pair of leotards and she was curled into a ball beside a scrubby little bush. I put my jacket around her and left my mineral bag and my tools on a rock, and I never did recover them. She was delirious, and it seemed I heard her say the name "Noel" several times while I was carrying her back to my vehicle. She had some bad bruises and a lot of minor cuts and abrasions. I took her to a clinic where they treated her and kept her overnight. The following morning I went to see her and learned that she"d refused to supply her ident.i.ty. Also, she seemed unable to supply any money. So I paid her bill and asked her what she was going to do, and she didn"t know that either. I offered to put her up at the cottage I was renting and she accepted. For the first week, it was like living in a haunted house. She never talked unless I asked her a question. She prepared meals for me and kept the place clean and spent the rest of the time in her room, with the door closed. The second week she heard me picking at an old mandolin--the first time I"d touched the thing in months--and she came out and sat across the living room from me and listened. So I kept playing, for hours longer than I"d intended, just to keep her there, because it was the only thing in over a week that had evoked any sort of response. When I laid it aside, she asked me if she could try it, and I nodded. She crossed the room, picked it up, bent over and began to play. She was far from a virtuoso, but then so was I. I listened and brought her a cup of coffee, said "Good night" and that was it. The next day, though, she was a different person. She"d combed the tangles out of her dark hair and trimmed it. Much of the puffiness was gone from beneath her pale eyes. She talked to me at breakfast, about everything from the weather, the news reports, my mineral collection, music, antiques to exotic fishes. Everything excepting herself. I took her places after that: restaurants, shows, the beach--everywhere but the mountains. About four months went by like this. Then one day I realized I was beginning to fall in love with her. Of course, I didn"t mention it, though she must have seen it. h.e.l.l, I didn"t really know anything about her, and I felt awkward. She might have a husband and six kids somewhere. She asked me to take her dancing. I did, and we danced on a terrace under the stars until they closed the place down, around four in the morning. The next day, when I rose at the crack of noon, I was alone. On the kitchen table there was a note that said: _Thank you. Please do not look for me. I have to go back now. I love you_. It was, of course, unsigned. And that"s all I know about the girl without a name.
When I was around fifteen years old, I found a baby starling beneath a tree while I was mowing the lawn in our back yard. Both its legs were broken. At least, I surmised this, because they stuck out at funny angles from its body and it sat on its backside with its tail feathers bent way up. When I crossed its field of vision, it threw its head back and opened its beak. I bent down and saw that there were ants all over it, so I picked it up and brushed them off. Then I looked for a place to put it. I decided on a bushel basket lined with freshly cut gra.s.s. I set the thing on our picnic table on the patio under the maple trees. I tried an eyedropper to get some milk down its throat, but it just seemed to choke on it. I went back to mowing the lawn. Later that day, I looked in on it and there were five or six big black beetles down in the gra.s.s with it. Disgusted, I threw them out. The next morning, when I went out with milk and an eyedropper, there were more beetles. I cleaned house once again. Later that day, I saw a huge dark bird perched on the edge of the basket. She went down inside, and after a moment flew away. I kept watching, and she returned three times within the half hour. Then I went out and looked into the basket and saw more beetles. I realized that she"d been hunting them, bringing them to it, trying to feed it. It wasn"t able to eat, however, so she just left them there in the basket. That night a cat found it. There were only a few feathers and some blood among the beetles when I went out with my eyedropper and some milk the next morning.
There is a place. It is a place where broken rocks ring a red sun. Several centuries ago, we discovered a race of arthropod-like creatures called _Whilles_, with whom we could not deal. They rejected friendly overtures on the parts of every known intelligent race. Also, they slew our emissaries and sent their remains back to us, missing a few pieces here and there. When first we contacted them, they possessed vehicles for travel within their own solar system. Shortly thereafter, they developed interstellar travel. Wherever they went, they killed and they stole and then beat it back home. Perhaps they didn"t realize the size of the interstellar community at that time, or perhaps they didn"t care. They guessed right if they thought it would take an awfully long time to reach an accord when it came to declaring war on them. There is actually very little precedent for interstellar war. The Pei"ans are about the only ones who remember any.. So the attacks failed, what remained of our forces were withdrawn, and we began to bombard the planet. The _Whilles_ were, however, further along technologically than we"d initially thought. They had a near-perfect defense system against missiles. So we withdrew and tried to contain them. They didn"t stop their raids, though. Then the Names were contacted, and three worldscapers, Sang-ring of Greldei, Karth"ting of Mordei and I, were chosen by lot to use our abilities in reverse. Later, within the system of the _Whilles_, beyond the orbit of their home world, a belt of asteroids began to collapse upon itself, forming a planetoid. Rock by rock, it grew, and slowly it altered its course. We sat, with our machinery, beyond the orbit of the farthest planet, directing the new world"s growth and its slow spiral inward. When the _Whilles_ realized what was happening, they tried to destroy it. But it was too late. They never asked for mercy, and none of them tried to flee. They waited, and the day came. The orbits of the two worlds intersected, and now it is a place where broken rocks ring a red sun. I stayed drunk for a week after that.
Once I collapsed in a desert, while trying to walk from my damaged vehicle to a small outpost of civilization. I had been walking for four days, without water for two, and my throat felt like sandpaper and my feet were a million miles away. I pa.s.sed out. How long I lay there, I do not know. Perhaps an entire day. Then, what I thought to be a product of delirium came and crouched beside me. It was purplish in color, with a ruff around its neck and three h.o.r.n.y k.n.o.bs on its lizard-like face. It was about four feet in length and scaly. It had a short tail and there were claws on each of its digits. Its eyes were dark ellipses with nict.i.tating membranes. It carried a long, hollow reed and a small pouch. I still don"t know what it was. It regarded me for a few moments, then dashed away. I rolled onto my side and watched it. It poked the reed into the ground and held its mouth over the end, then withdrew the reed, moved on and repeated the activity. About the eleventh time it did it, its cheeks began to bulge like balloons. Then it ran to my side, leaving the reed in place, and it touched my mouth with its forelimb. I guessed what it was trying to indicate and I opened my mouth. Leaning close, slowly, carefully, so as not to waste a drop, it trickled the hot, dirty water from its mouth into my own. Six times it returned to the reed and brought back water, giving it to me in this fashion. Then I pa.s.sed out again. When I awakened, it was evening and the creature brought me more water. In the morning, I was able to walk to the tube, crouch beside it and draw my fill of liquid. The creature awakened slowly, sluggish in the pre-dawn cold. When it had come around, I took off my chrono and my hunting knife and I emptied my pockets of money and placed these things before it. It studied the items. I pushed them toward it and pointed at the pouch it bore. It pushed them back toward me and made a clicking sound with its tongue. So I touched its forelimb and said thanks in every language that I knew, picked up my stuff and started walking again. I made it into the settlement the following afternoon.
A girl, a bird, a world, a drink of water, and Dango the Knife riven from head to foot.
The cycles of recollection place pain beside thought, sight, sentiment and the always who-what-why? Sleep. the conductor of memory, keeps me sane. More than this I do not know, really. But I did not think I was callous by arising the following morning more intent upon what lay before me than behind.
What it was, was fifty to sixty miles of progressively difficult terrain. The ground was rockier, drier. Leaves possessed sharp, serrate edges.
The trees were different, the animals were different, from what I had left behind. They were parodies of the things in which I had taken such pride. My Midnight Warblers here emitted harsh croaking sounds, the insects all had stings and the flowers stank. There were no straight, tall trees. They were all of them twisted or squat. My gazelle-like leogahs were cripples. Smaller animals snarled at me and ran. Some of the larger ones had to be stared down.
My ears cracked with the increasing alt.i.tude and the fog was still with me, but I pushed on, steadily, and I made perhaps twenty-five miles that day.
Two more days, I figured. Perhaps less. And one to do the job.
That night I was awakened by one of the most G.o.dawful explosions I"d heard in years. I sat up and listened to the echoes--or perhaps it was only the ringing in my ears. I sat there with my gun in my hand and waited, beneath a large, old tree.
In the northwest, despite the fog, I could see a light. It was a sort of generalized orange glow. It began to spread.
The second explosion was not so loud as the first. Neither was the third or the fourth. By then, however, I had other things to think about.
The ground was trembling beneath me.
I stayed where I was and waited. The shocks increased in intensity.
Judging from the sky, a quarter of the world was on fire.
Since there wasn"t much I could do about it at the moment, I reholstered my pistol, sat with my back against the tree and lit a cigarette. Something seemed out of whack. Green Green was sure as h.e.l.l going to a lot of trouble to impress me when he should have known I wasn"t that impressionable. That kind of activity could not be natural in this region, and he was the only one other than myself who was on the scene and able to do it. Why? Was he just saying, "Look, I"m tearing up your world, Sandow. What are you going to do about it?" Was he demonstrating the power of Belion with hopes of frightening me?
I toyed for a moment with the notion of seeking out a power-pull and unleashing the worst electrical storm he"d ever seen, over the entire area, just to show him how impressed I was. But I shelved the idea quickly. I did not want to fight him from a distance. I wanted to meet him face to face and tell him what I thought of him. I wanted to confront him and show myself to him and ask him why he was being such a b.l.o.o.d.y fool--why my being a h.o.m.o sap had aroused such a hatred that he"d gone to such lengths to hurt me.
He obviously knew I had already arrived, was there on the world somewhere--else there would have been no will-o-the-wisp to take me to Dango. So I betrayed nothing by what I did next.
I closed my eyes and bowed my head and summoned up the power. I tried to picture him somewhere near the Isle of the Dead, a gloating Pei"an, watching his volcano rise, watching the ashes spew forth like black leaves, watching the lava glow and boil, watching the snakes of sulfur crawl through the heavens--and with the full power of my hatred behind it, I sent forth the message: "Patience, Green Green. Patience, Gringrin-tharl. Patience. In but a few days, I will be with you for a short time. A short time only."
There was no reply, but then I hadn"t expected one.
In the morning, the going was rougher. A black snowfall of ashes descended through the mist. There was still an occasional temblor, and animals fled past me, heading in the opposite direction. They ignored me completely, and I tried to ignore them.
The entire north seemed to be on fire. If it were not that I possess a sense of absolute direction on all my worlds, I would have thought that I was heading into a sunrise. I found it quite disillusioning.
Here was a Pei"an, almost a Name, a member of the most subtle race of avengers who had ever lived; and here he was acting like a clown before the abominable Earthman. Okay, he hated me and he wanted to get me. That was no reason to be sloppy about it and to forget the fine old traditions of his race. The volcano was a childish display of the power I fully expected to meet, eventually. I felt a bit ashamed for him, for such a crude exhibition at this point in the game. Even I, in my brief apprenticeship, had learned sufficient of the fine points of vengeanceship to know better than that. I was beginning to see why he"d flunked his test.
I chewed some chocolate as I walked, putting off lunch-break until later in the afternoon. I wanted to cover sufficient ground so that I"d only have a few hours" hike in the morning. I maintained a steady pace, and the light grew and grew before me, the ashes came more densely down, the ground gave a good shake about once every hour.
Around midday, a wart-bear attacked me. I tried to control it, but I couldn"t. I killed it and cursed the man who had made it into what it was.
The fog had let up a good deal by then, but the drifting ash more than compensated. It was a constant twilight through which I walked, coughing. I didn"t make good time because of the rearrangements of the terrain, and I added another day to my hiking schedule.
By the time I turned in that night I"d covered a lot of ground, though. I knew I"d reach Acheron before noon of the following day.
I found a dry spot for a campsite, on a small rise with half-buried boulders jutting at odd angles about its crown. I cleaned my equipment, pitched the flimsy, kindled a fire, ate some rations. Then I smoked one of my last cigars, to do my bit for air pollution, and crawled into the sack.
I was dreaming when it happened. The dream eludes me now, save for the impression that it was pleasant at first, then became a nightmare. I remember tossing about on my bed of rushes, then realizing I was awake. I kept my eyes closed and shifted my weight as though moving in my sleep. My hand touched my pistol. I lay there and listened for the sounds of danger. I opened my mind to impressions.
I tasted the smoke and cold ashes that had filled the air. I felt the damp chill in the ground beneath me. I got the impression of someone, something, nearby. Listening, I heard the tiny click of a dislodged stone, somewhere off to my right. Then silence.
My finger traced the trigger"s curve. I shifted the muzzle in that direction.
Then, as delicately as a hummingbird invades a flower, came the touch of the tamperer in the dark house where I live, my head.
_You are asleep_, something seemed to say, _and you will not awaken yet. Not until I permit it. You sleep and you hear me now. This is as it should he. There is no reason to awaken. Sleep deeply and soundly as I address you. It is very important that you do so_ . . .
I let it continue, for I was fully awake. I suppressed my reactions and feigned slumber while I listened for another telltale sound.
After a minute of being rea.s.sured that I was asleep, I heard a sound of movement from the same direction as before.
I opened my eyes then, and without moving my head I began to trace the limits of the shadows.
Beside one of the rocks, perhaps thirty feet distant, was a form which had not been present when I had retired. I studied it until I detected an occasional movement. When I was certain as to its position, I flipped off the safety catch, aimed very carefully and pulled the trigger, tracing a line of fire on the ground about five feet before it. Because of the angle, a shower of dust, dirt and gravel was kicked backwards.
_If you so much as take a deep breath, I"ll cut you in half_, I advised.
Then I stood and faced him, holding the pistol steady. When I spoke, I spoke in Pei"an, for I had seen in the light of the burning beam that it was a Pei"an who stood beside the rock.
"Green Green," I said, "you are the clumsiest Pei"an I"ve ever met."
"I have made a few mistakes," he acknowledged, from back in the shadows.
I chuckled.
"I"d say so."
"There were extenuating circ.u.mstances involved."
"Excuses. You did not properly learn the lesson of the rock. It appears to rest, but it does move, imperceptibly." I shook my head. "How will your ancestors rest after a bungled piece of vengeance like this?"
"Poorly, I fear, if this be the end."
"Why shouldn"t it be? Do you deny that you a.s.sured my presence here solely for purposes of obtaining my death?"
"Why should I deny the obvious?"
"Why should I fail to do the logical thing?"
"Think, Francis Sandow, _Dra_ Sandow. How logical would it be? Why should I approach you in this fashion, when I might have allowed you to come to me where I held a position of power?"
"Perhaps I rattled your nerves last evening."
"Do not judge me that unstable. I came to place you under my control."
"And failed."
". . . And failed."
"Why did you come?"
"I require your services."
"To what end?"
"We must leave here quickly. You possess a means of departure?"
"Naturally. What are you afraid of?"
"Over the years, you have collected some friends and many enemies, Francis Sandow."
"Call me Frank. I feel as if I"ve known you a long time, dead man."
"You should not have sent that message, Frank. Now your presence here is known. Unless you help me to escape, you will face a vengeance greater than mine."
A shifting of the breeze brought me the sweet, musty smell of that which pa.s.ses for blood in a Pei"an. I flicked on my hand torch and aimed it at him.
"You"re hurt."
"Yes."
I dropped the torch, sidled over to my knapsack, opened it with my left hand. I fished out the first aid pouch and tossed it to him.
"Cover your cuts," I said, picking up the light once more. "They smell bad."
He unrolled a bandage and wrapped it about his gashed right shoulder and forearm. He ignored a series of smaller wounds on his chest.
"You look as if you"ve been in a fight."
"I have."
"What shape is the other guy in?"
"I hurt him. I was lucky. I almost killed him, in fact. Now it is too late."
I saw that he wasn"t carrying a weapon, so I holstered my own. I advanced and stood before him.
"Delgren of Dilpei sends his greetings," I said. "I think you"ve managed to make his fecal roster."
He snorted, chuckled.