She came bouncing into the room like a ricochet shot. She was an old acquaintance of mine; I had often kissed her when a boy, and she had just as often boxed my ears. I used to give her a ribbon to tie up her jaw with, telling her at the same time that she had too much of it.
This Abigail, like a true lady"s maid, seeing me, whom she thought a ghost, standing bolt upright, and the two ladies stretched out, as she supposed, dead, gave a loud and most interesting scream, ran out of the room for her life, nearly knocking down the footman, whom she met coming in.
This fellow, who was a country lout, the son of one of my father"s tenants, only popped his head into the door, and saw the ladies lying on the carpet; he had probably formed no very good opinion of me from the manner in which I had received the news of my own demise, and seemed very much inclined to act the part of a mandarin, that is, nod his head, and stand still.
"Desire some of the women to come here immediately," said I; "some one that can be of use; tell them to bring salts, eau de cologne--anything.
Fly, blockhead! goose! what do you stand staring at?"
The fellow looked at me, and then at the supposed corpses, which he must have thought I had murdered; and, either thunderstruck, or doubting whether he had any right to obey me, kept his head inside the door and his body outside, as he had been in the pillory. I saw that he required some explanation, and cried out, "I am Mr Frank; will you obey me, or shall I throw this jar at your head?" brandishing one of the china vases.
Had I been inclined to have thrown it I should have missed him, for the fellow was off like a wounded porpoise. Down he ran to my father in the library: "Oh, sir--good news! bad news--good news!"
"What news fool?" said my father, rising hastily from his chair.
"Oh, sir, I don"t know sir; but I believe, sir, Mr Frank is alive again, and both the ladies _is_ dead."
My poor father, whose health and const.i.tution had not recovered the shock of my supposed death, tremblingly leaned over his table, on which he rested his two hands, and desired the man to repeat what he had said.
This the fellow did, half crying, and my father, easily comprehending the state of things, came upstairs. I would have flown into his arms, but mine were occupied in supporting my sweet Emily, while my poor sister lay senseless on the other side of me; for Clara"s lover was not at hand, and she still lay in abeyance.
By this time "the hands were turned up," everybody was on the alert, and every living creature in the house, not excepting the dog, had a.s.sembled in the drawing-room. The maids that had known me cried and sobbed most piteously, and the newcomer kept them company from sympathy. The coachman, and footman, and groom, all blubbered and stared; and one brought water, and one a basin, and the b.o.o.by of a footman something else, which I must not name; but in his hurry he had s.n.a.t.c.hed up the first utensil that he thought might be of use; I approved of his zeal, but nodded to him to retire. Unluckily for him, the housemaid perceived the mistake which his absence of thought had led him into; and, s.n.a.t.c.hing the mysterious vessel with her left hand, she hid it under her ap.r.o.n, while with her right hand, she gave the poor fellow such a slap on the cheek as to bring to my mind the tail of the whale descending on the boat at Bermuda.
"You great fool!" said she, "n.o.body wants that."
"There is matrimony in that slap!" said I and the event proved I was right--they were _asked_ in church the Sunday following.
The industrious application of salts, cold water, and burnt rags, together with chafing of temples, opening of collars, and loosening the stay-laces of the young ladies, produced the happiest effects. Every hand, and every tongue, was in motion; and with all these remedies the eyes of the enchanting Emily opened, and beamed upon me, spreading joy and gladness over the face of creation, like the sun rising out of the bosom of the Atlantic, to cheer the inhabitants of the Antilles after a frightful hurricane. In half an hour, all was right "the guns were secured--we beat the retreat;" the servants retired. I became the centre of the picture. Emily held my right, my father my left; dear Clara hung round my neck. Questions were put and answered as fast as sobs and tears would permit of their being heard. The interlude was filled up with the sweetest kisses from the rosiest of lips and I was in this half hour rewarded for all I had suffered since I had sailed from England in that diabolical brig for Barbadoes.
It was, I own, exceedingly wrong to have taken the house, as it were, by storm, when I knew they were in mourning for me but I forgot that other people did not require the same stimulus as myself. I begged pardon; was kissed again and again, and forgiven. Oh, it was worth while to offend to be forgiven by such lips, and eyes, and dimples. But I am afraid this thought is borrowed from some prose or poetry; if so, the reader must forgive me, and so must the author, who may have it again now I have done with it, for I shall never use it any more.
My narrative was given with as much modesty and brevity as time and circ.u.mstances would admit. The coachman was despatched on one of the best carriage-horses express to Mr Somerville, and the mail-coach was loaded with letters to all the friends and connexions of the family.
This ended, each retired to dress for dinner. What a change had one hour wrought in this house of mourning, now suddenly turned into a house of joy! Alas, how often is the picture reversed in human life! The ladies soon reappeared in spotless white, emblems of their pure minds.
My father had put off his sables, and the servants came in their usual liveries, which were very splendid.
Dinner being announced, my father handed off Emily; I followed with my sister. Emily, looking over her shoulder, said, "Don"t be jealous, Frank."
My father laughed, and I vowed revenge for this little satirical hit.
"You know the forfeit," said I, "and you shall pay it."
"I am happy to say that I am both able and willing," said she, and we sat down to dinner, but not before my father had given thanks in a manner more than usually solemn and emphatic. This essential act of devotion, so often neglected, brought tears into the eyes of all. Emily sank into her chair, covered her face with her pocket handkerchief, and relieved herself with tears. Clara did the same. My father shook me by the hand, and said, "Frank, this is a very different kind of repast to what we had yesterday. How little did we know of the happiness that was in store for us!"
The young ladies dried their eyes, but had lost their appet.i.tes: in vain did Emily endeavour to manage the tail of a small smelt. I filled a gla.s.s of wine to each. "Come," said I, "in sea phrase, spirits are always more easily stowed away than dry provisions; let us drink each other"s health, and then we shall get on better."
They took my advice, and it answered the purpose. Our repast was cheerful, but tempered and corrected by a feeling of past sorrow, and a deep sense of great mercies from Heaven.
"If Heaven were every day like this, Then "twere indeed a Heaven of bliss."
Reader, I know you have long thought me a vain man--a profligate, unprincipled Don Juan, ready to pray when in danger, and to sin when out of it; but as I have always told you the truth, even when my honour and character were at stake, I expect you will believe me now, when I say a word in my own favour. That I felt grat.i.tude to G.o.d for my deliverance and safe return, I do most solemnly aver; my heart was ready to burst with the escape of this feeling, which I suppressed from a false sense of shame, though I never was given much to the melting mood; moreover, I was too proud to show what I thought a weakness, before the great he-fellows of footmen. Had we been in private, I could have fallen down on my knees before that G.o.d whom I had so often offended; who had rescued me twice from the jaws of the shark; who had lifted me from the depth of the sea when darkness covered me; who had saved me from the poison and the wreck, and guided me clear of the rock at Trinidad; and who had sent the dog to save me from a horrible death.
These were only a small part of the mercies I had received; but they were the most recent, and consequently had left the deepest impression on my memory. I would have given one of Emily"s approving smiles, much as I valued them, to have been relieved from my oppressed feelings by a hearty flood of tears, and by a solemn act of devotion and thanksgiving; but I felt all this, and that feeling, I hope, was accounted to me for righteousness. For the first time in my life, the love of G.o.d was mixed up with a pure and earthly love for Emily, and affection for my family.
The ladies sat with us some time after the cloth was removed, unable to drag themselves away while I related my "hair-breadth escapes." When I spoke of the incident of trying to save the poor man who fell overboard from the brig--of my holding him by the collar, and being dragged down with him until the sea became dark over my head, Emily could bear it no longer; she jumped up, and falling on her knees, hid her lovely face in my sister"s lap, pa.s.sionately exclaiming, "Oh, do not, do not, my dear Frank, tell me any more--I cannot bear it--indeed, I cannot bear it."
We all gathered round her, and supported her to the drawing-room, where we diverted ourselves with lighter and gayer anecdotes. Emily tried a tune on the pianoforte, and attempted a song; but it would not do: she could not sing a gay one, and a melancholy one overpowered her. At twelve o"clock we all retired to our apartments, and before I slept I spent some minutes in devotion, with vows of amendment which I fully intended to keep.
The next morning Mr Somerville joined us at breakfast. This was another trial of feeling for poor Emily, who threw herself into her father"s arms, and sobbed aloud. Mr Somerville shook me most cordially by the hand with both of his, and eagerly demanded the history of my extraordinary adventures, of which I gave him a small abridgment. I had taken the opportunity of an hour"s _tete-a-tete_ with Emily, which Clara had considerately given us before breakfast, to speak of our antic.i.p.ated union and finding there were no other obstacles than those which are usually raised by "maiden pride and bashful coyness," so natural, so becoming, and so lovely in the s.e.x, I determined to speak to the greybeards on the subject.
To this Emily at last consented, on my reminding her of my late narrow escapes. As soon, therefore, as the ladies had retired from the dinner-table, I asked my father to fill a b.u.mper to their health; and, having swallowed mine in all the fervency of the most unbounded love, I popped the question to them both. Mr Somerville and my father looked at each other, when the former said,--"You seem to be in a great hurry, Frank."
"Not greater, sir," said I, "than the object deserves." He bowed and my father began--
"I cannot say," observed the good old gentleman, "that I much approve of matrimony before you are a commander. At least, till then, you are not your own master."
"Oh, if I am to wait for that, sir," said I, "I may wait long enough; no man is ever his own master in our service, or in England. The captain is commanded by the admiral, the admiral by the Admiralty, the Admiralty by the Privy Council, the Privy Council by the Parliament, the Parliament by the people, and the people by printers and their devils."
"I admire your logical chain of causes and effects," said my father; "but we must, after all, go to the _lace manufactory_ at Charing-cross, to see if we cannot have your shoulders fitted with a pair of epaulettes. When we can see you command your own sloop of war, I shall be most happy, as I am sure my good friend Somerville will be also, to see you command his daughter, the finest and the best girl in the county of ---."
No arguments could induce the two old gentlemen to bate one inch from this _sine qua non_. It was agreed that application should be made to the Admiralty forthwith for my promotion; and when that desirable step was obtained, that then Emily should have the disposal of me for the honeymoon.
All this was a very pretty story for them on the score of prudence, but it did not suit the views of an ardent lover of one-and-twenty; for though I knew my father"s influence was very great at the Admiralty, I also knew that an excellent regulation had recently been promulgated, which prevented any lieutenant being promoted to the rank of commander, until he had served two years at sea from the date of his first commission; nor could any commander, in like manner, be promoted before he had served one year in that capacity. All this was no doubt very good for the service, but I had not yet attained sufficient _amor patriae_ to prefer the public to myself: and I fairly wished the regulation and the makers of it in the cavern at New Providence just about the time of high-water.
I put it to the ladies whether this was not a case of real distress, after all my hardships and my constancy, to be put off with such an excuse? The answer from the Admiralty was so far favourable, that I was a.s.sured I should be promoted as soon as my time was served, of which I then wanted two months. I was appointed to a ship fitting at Woolwich, and before she could be ready for sea my time would be completed, and I was to have my commission as a commander. This was not the way to ensure her speedy equipment, as far as I was concerned; but there was no help for it; and as the ship was at Woolwich, and the residence of my fair one at no great distance, I endeavoured to pa.s.s my time, during the interval, between the duties of love and war; between obedience to my captain, and obedience to my mistress; and by great good fortune I contrived to please both, for my captain gave himself no trouble about the ship or her equipment.
Before I proceeded to join, I made one more effort to break through the inflexibility of my father. I said I had undergone the labours of Hercules; and that if I went again on foreign service, I might meet with some young lady who would send me out of the world with a cup of poison, or by some fatal spell break the magical chain which now bound me to Emily. This poetical imagery had no more effect on him than my prose composition. I then appealed to Emily herself. "Surely," said I, "your heart is not as hard as those of our inflexible parents: surely you will be my advocate on this occasion. Bend but one look of disapprobation on my father with those heavenly blue eyes of yours, and, on my life, he will strike his flag."
But the gipsy replied, with a smile (instigated, no doubt, from head-quarters), that she did not like the idea of her name appearing in the _Morning Post_ as the bride of a lieutenant. "What"s a lieutenant nowadays?" said she--"n.o.body. I remember when I was on a visit at Fareham, I used to go to Portsmouth to see the dockyard and the ships, and there was your great friend the tall admiral, Sir Hurricane Humbug, I think you call him, driving the poor lieutenants about like so many sheep before a dog; there was always one at his heels, like a running footman; and there was another that appeared to me to be chained, like a mastiff, to the door of the admiral"s office, except when the admiral and family walked out, and then he brought up the rear with the governess. No, Frank, I shall not surrender at discretion, with all my charms, to anything less than a captain, with a pair of gold epaulettes."
"Very well," replied I, looking into the pier-gla.s.s, with tolerable self-complacency; "if you choose to pin your happiness on the promises of a first lord of the Admiralty and a pair of epaulettes, I can say no more. There is no accounting for female taste; some ladies prefer gold lace and wrinkles, to youth and beauty--I am sorry for them all, that"s all."
"Frank," said Emily, "you must acknowledge that you are vain enough to be an admiral at least."
"The admirals are much obliged to you for the compliment," said I. "I trust I should not disgrace the flag, come when it will; but to tell you the truth, my dear Emily, I cannot say I look forward to that elevation with any degree of satisfaction. Three stars on each shoulder, and three rows of gold lace round the cuff, are no compensation, in my eyes, for grey hairs, thin legs, a broken back, a church-yard cough, and to be laughed at or pitied by all the pretty girls in the country into the bargain."
"I am sorry for you, my hero," said the young lady: "but you must submit."
"Well, then, if I must, I must," said I; "but give me a kiss in the meantime."
I asked for one, and took a hundred, and should have taken a hundred more, but the confounded butler came in, and brought me a letter on service, which was neither more nor less than an order to join my ship forthwith: _sic transit_, etcetera.
Pocketing my disappointment with as much _sang froid_ as I could muster, I continued to beguile the time and to solace myself for my past sufferings, by as much enjoyment as could be compressed into the small s.p.a.ce of leisure time allotted to me. Fortunately, the first lieutenant of the frigate was what we used to call a "hard officer:" he never went on sh.o.r.e, because he had few friends and less money. He drew for his pay on the day it became due, and it lasted till the next day of payment; and as I found he doated on a Spanish cigar, and a _correct_ gla.s.s of cognac grog--for he never drank to excess--I presented him with a box of the former, and a dozen of the latter, to enable him to bear my nightly absence with Christian composure.
As soon as the day"s work was ended, the good-natured lieutenant used to say, "Come, Mr Mildmay, I know what it is to be in love; I was once in love myself, though it is a good many years ago, and I am sure I shall get into the good graces of your Polly (for so he called Emily), if I send you to her arms. There is the jolly for you: send the boat off as soon as you have landed, and be with us at nine to-morrow morning, to meet the midshipman and the working party in the dockyard."
All this was perfectly agreeable to me. I generally got to Mr Somerville"s temporary residence on Blackheath by the time the dressing-bell rang, and never failed to meet a pleasant party at dinner.
My father and dear Clara were guests in the house as well as myself.
By Mr Somerville"s kind permission, I introduced Talbot, who, being a perfect gentleman in his manners, a man of sound sense, good education, and high aristocratic connections, I was proud to call my friend. I presented him particularly to my sister, and took an opportunity of whispering in Emily"s ear, where I knew it would not long remain, that he possessed the indispensable qualification of two epaulettes.
"Therefore," said I, "pray do not trust yourself too near him, for fear you should be taken by surprise, like the _True-blooded Yankee_."
Talbot, knowing that Emily was bespoken, paid her no more than the common attentions which courtesy demands; but to Clara his demeanour was very different: and her natural attractions were much enhanced in his eyes by the friendship which we had entertained for each other ever since the memorable affair of swimming away from the ship at Spithead; from that time he used jocularly to call me "Leander."