Frivolities

""Mrs. G.o.dwin, I am helpless. We are in Belgium, and in Belgium we must do as the Belgians do."

""But the thing is monstrous! You will surely insist on this person"s exhibiting the authority on which he pretends to act?"

"Mr. Pearson shrugged his shoulders. He turned to the Baron with a smile--and once he said he loved me! Man"s falseness is incredible.

""Baron, have you got the warrant in your pocket?"

""No warrant is required. I will show madame my instructions when we reach the _bureau_. We are in Belgium, not in England. I would advise madame, as a friend, not to give me any trouble."

"He arrested me! Yes, dear mamma, I spent my wedding night crying, alone, on the deck of a steamer, and at the break of day I was taken into custody. Arrested by one old lover in the presence of another. It was in this way I commenced my married life.

"I sat in the cabin on one chair, and the Baron sat on another chair in front of me, on guard! I will do him the justice to allow that he seemed quite as much at a loss as I was.

"When we reached the quay I got into an open fly; the Baron sat on the seat beside me, two policemen sat on the seat in front of me, and two more policemen kept the driver in countenance upon the box. In this way we drove through the streets of Antwerp. We arrived at the _bureau_. I was shown into what seemed to be a kind of office; the Baron followed me, closed the door behind him; we were alone. Directly we were alone he threw his _kepi_ on the floor. I thought the man was mad.

""Jennie!" he cried. "Mees Nash! What is the meaning of all this?

Unfold this mystery."

""It is you who must do that. It is I who require an explanation from you."

""You have not married Monsieur Pearson?"

""Baron d"Ardigny!"

""How came you then to be with him on his ship?"

""You might as well ask how I came to be the pa.s.senger of a train of which a man named Brown was guard."

""Oh, if you only knew what I have suffered. Your image is where it always was." He slapped his hand against his right side, where, probably, he supposed his heart to be. "You have treated me--ah, how you have treated me! But no matter. The past is past. It is for the future that we live. Tell me, what is it you have done?"

""It occurs to me that I have done one thing, lost my senses."

""I am your friend; do not be afraid. No matter for the past. I say it is for the future that we live. Is it murder?"

""Murder!"

""We will say then it is not murder. Thank goodness, it is not that!

But there are other things besides. Is it forgery?"

""Forgery!"

""Is it something you have stolen? Perhaps a little money, or some jewellery, or something of value from your friends."

""Baron d"Ardigny, during your acquaintance with me did I strike you as being of the material of which thieves are made?"

""Ah, who shall say! No man can tell! There was one woman I loved before I was in love with you. She did not use me so bad as you; she was an angel! She was what you call shoplifter. One day I went to see her; she was not there. I did not see her for a long time. I thought that she was dead. One day I was in a prison; she was among the prisoners. When she saw me she laughed; she put out her tongue and winked her eye. The anguish is still here."

""Putting aside the question of what I have done, or left undone, perhaps you will tell me of what it is I am accused?"

""How should I know?"

""If you don"t know, I don"t know who should."

""It is they who are coming who shall know."

""And pray who is coming?" A thought occurred to me. "Is it Conrad?"

""Conrad! Who is Conrad? Ah! I forgot there was a Conrad." His manner changed. Crossing his arms upon his chest he glared at me, as the bad characters sometimes glare at the Adelphi. "Miserable! You wish to play again with me the fool!"

"Dear mamma, if you can imagine the Baron d"Ardigny as being madder than he used to be--do!

""Baron d"Ardigny, there are one or two questions which I should like you to answer. First of all, am I to regard myself as a prisoner?"

""Did you not use to tell me that you would be for ever mine?"

""Never, Baron, never!--You have not favoured me with an answer to my question."

""Was there not a moment when I was your star of love?"

""Not a moment, Baron.--You have not answered me. Am I, or am I not, to regard myself as a prisoner?"

""You are a prisoner! It is as a prisoner you are here! It is as a prisoner you must treat me!"

""I should be delighted to treat you as a prisoner. Unfortunately it appears that it is as a prisoner you are treating me."

""Your crimes, I do not doubt, they are as black as ink! A woman who can be as false as you--to such a woman nothing is impossible."

""Baron d"Ardigny, I do not know how this sort of thing is done in Belgium, but in England when they lock a person up they tell him what they lock him up for. With you, has a policeman the power of taking a person to the stationhouse for the sole purpose and pleasure of calling them names?"

""Mees Nash----"

""I have already informed you that I am Mrs. G.o.dwin."

""So you are Mrs. G.o.dwin! You insist! Well! At last we have arrived!

Meez-sers G.o.dwin, I tell you this. Mark carefully; I meet your husband once--for a moment. A second time--for ever--upon the field of honour."

"I do not know if abroad policemen always speak to their prisoners as the Baron spoke to me. The inhabitants of those countries must enjoy themselves if they do. For my part, although my situation was sufficiently critical, it was all I could do to refrain from laughter.

If you could only have seen how funny he looked! I do not know if he mistook my silence for admiration, but on a sudden his madness a.s.sumed a dreadful phase. He threw himself into an att.i.tude--ask Geraldine if she has forgotten his att.i.tudes--and apostrophised me thus: "When I look upon that lovely face, upon those eyes of perfect blue, upon that hair of gold, upon that figure exquisite, I say to myself, "Hector, Hector d"Ardigny! you who has not been without his fortunate experience, is it possible that you cannot win the love of a creature so divine?" I answer to myself, "It is impossible.""

"I hesitated for a moment what, under the circ.u.mstances, I had better do. I saw plainly that it was no use to talk to the man. I arrived at a sudden resolution. I decided that I would try--as they say in the cookery-books--another way. As he stood with his eyes and hands raised towards the ceiling I went and I took him by the thing inside the collar of his coat--stock, I think they call it--and I shook him.

I do not think he ever had a better shaking in his life. I kept at it till the thing inside the collar of his coat came loose in my hand.

Then--you know he is _such_ a little man--I lifted him off his feet and seated him on the edge of the table. The rest was silence. He looked at me, and I, for my part, looked at him.

""Now," I said, when I began to feel a little cooler, "perhaps you will tell me what I am here for?"

""Apparently," he gasped--the little man was breathless--"to murder me."

""My good man, you shouldn"t provoke me."