I turned and got a shock. The handbag lay open on the desk, surrounded by a respectable-sized fortune in bank-notes.
"Pretty much all that the Honorable Ely has left me," he added.
"Is it enough to go on with, Ned?" I asked.
He smiled at me. "Plenty for my time. You forget."
For the moment I had forgotten. "But what on earth are you going to do with all that ready cash?"
"Carry out a brilliant idea. I conceived it after you had handed down your verdict. Went around to the bank and quietly drew out the lot. I"ve planned a wild and original orgy. A riot of dissipation in giving. Think of the fun one can have with that much tangible money. Already to-day I"ve struck one man dumb and reduced another to mental decay, by the simple medium of a thousand-dollar bill. Miracles! Declare a vacation, Chris, and come with me on my secret and jubilant bat, and we"ll work wonders."
"And after?" I asked.
"Oh, after! Well, there"ll be no further reason for the "permanent possibility of sensation" on my part. That"s your precious science"s best definition of life, I believe. It doesn"t appeal to one as alluring when the sensation promises to become--well, increasingly unpleasant."
There was no mistaking his meaning. "I can"t have that, my son," I protested.
"No? That"s a purely professional prejudice of yours. Look at it from my point of view. Am I to wait to be strangled by invisible hands, rather than make an easy and graceful exit? Suicide! The word has no meaning for a man in my condition. If you"ll tell me there"s a chance, one mere, remote human chance--" He paused, turning to me with what was almost appeal in his glance. How I longed to lie to him! But Ned Worth was the kind that you can"t lie to. I looked at him standing there so strong and fine, with all the mirthful zest of living in his veins, sentenced beyond hope, and I thought of those terrible lines of another man under doom:
"I never saw a man who looked So wistfully at the day."
We medical men learn to throw a protective film over our feelings, like the veil over the eagle"s eye. We have to. But I give you my word, I could not trust my voice to answer him.
"You see," he said; "you can"t." His hand fell on my arm. "I"m sorry, Chris," he said in that winning voice of his; "I shouldn"t plague you for something that you can"t give me."
"I can tell you this, anyway," said I: "that it"s something less than courage to give up until the time comes. You didn"t give your life. You haven"t the right to take it; anyway, not until its last usefulness is over."
He made a movement of impatience.
"Oh, I"m not asking you to endure torture. I"d release you myself from that, if it comes to it, in spite of man-made laws. But how can you tell that being alive instead of dead next week or next month may not make an eternal difference to some other life? Your part isn"t played out yet.
Who are you to say how much good you may yet do before the curtain is rung down?"
"Or how much evil! Well, as a suitable finish, suppose I go down into that garden and kill Ely Crouch," he suggested, smiling. "That would be a beneficial enough act to ent.i.tle me to a prompt and peaceful death, wouldn"t it?"
"Theoretically sound, but unfortunately impracticable," I answered, relieved at his change of tone.
"I suppose it is." He looked at me, still smiling, but intent. "Chris, what do you believe comes after?"
"Justice."
"A hard word for cowards. What do I believe, I wonder? At any rate, in being sport enough to play the game through. You"re right, old hard-sh.e.l.l. I"ll stick it out. It will only mean spending _this_"--he swept the money back into its repository--"a little more slowly."
"I was sure I could count on you," I said. "Now I can give you the talisman." I set on the desk before him a small pasteboard box. "Pay strict attention. You see that label? That"s to remind you. One tablet if you can"t sleep."
"I couldn"t last night."
"Two if the pain becomes more than you can stand."
He nodded.
"But three at one time and you"ll sleep so sound that nothing will ever awaken you."
"Good old Chris!" Opening the box, he fingered the pellets curiously. "A blessed thing, your science! Three and the sure sleep."
"On trust, Ned."
"On honor," he agreed. "Then I mustn"t expunge old Crouch? It"s a disappointment," he added gayly.
He pushed the box away from him and crossed over to the upper window.
His voice came to me from behind the enshrouding curtains.
"Our friend has finished his promenade. The air is the sweeter for it.
I"ll stay here and breathe it."
"Good!" said I. "I"ve five minutes of telephoning to do. Then I"ll be back."
n.o.body can ever tell me again that there"s an instinct which feels the presence of persons unseen. On my way to the door I pa.s.sed within arm"s-length of a creature tense and pulsating with the most desperate emotions. I could have stretched out a hand and touched her as she crouched, hidden in the embrasure of the lower window. It would seem as if the whole atmosphere of the room must have been surcharged with the terrific pa.s.sion of her newborn and dreadful hopes. And I felt--nothing.
No sense, as I brushed by, of the tragic and concentrated force of will which nerved and restrained her. I went on, and out unconscious.
Afterward she was unable to tell me how long she had been there. It must have been for some minutes, for what roused her from her stupor of terror was the word "Suicide." It was like an echo, a mockery to her, at first; and then, as she listened with pa.s.sionate attention to what followed, my instructions about the poison took on the voice of a ministering providence. The draperies had shut off the view of Ned, nor had she recognized his voice, already altered by the encroachments of the disease. But she heard him walk to the upper window, and saw me pa.s.s on my way to the telephone, and knew that the moment had come. From what she told me later, and from that to which I was a mazed witness on my return, I piece together the events which so swiftly followed.
A wind had risen outside or Ned might have heard the footsteps sooner.
As it was, when he stepped out from behind the draperies of the upper window those of the lower window were still waving, but the swift figure had almost reached the desk. The face was turned from him. Even in that moment of astonishment he noticed that she carried her left arm close to her body, with a curious awkwardness.
"h.e.l.lo!" he challenged.
She cried out sharply, and covered the remaining distance with a rush.
Her hand fell upon the box of pellets. She turned, clutching that little box of desperate hopes to her bosom.
"Good G.o.d! Virginia!" he exclaimed. "Miss Kingsley!"
"Mr. Worth! Was it you I heard? Why--how are you here?"
"This is my house."
"I didn"t know." Keeping her eyes fixed upon him like a watchful animal, she slowly backed to interpose the table between herself and a possible interference. Her arm, still stiffly pressed to her side, impeded her fumbling efforts to open the box. Presently, however, the cover yielded.
He measured the chances of intervention, and abandoned the hope. His brain hummed with a thousand conjectures, a thousand questions centering upon her obvious and preposterous purpose. Suddenly, as her fingers trembled among the tablets, his thoughts steadied and his stratagem was formed.
"What do you want with my tonic?" he asked coolly.
"Tonic? I--I thought--"
"You thought it was the poison. Well, you"ve got the wrong box. The poison box is in the drawer."
"In the drawer," she repeated. She spoke in the mechanical voice of one desperately intent upon holding the mind to some vital project. Her nerveless hands fumbled at the side of the desk.
He crossed quickly, caught up the box which she had just relinquished, and dropped it into his pocket.
"Oh!" she moaned, and stared at him with stricken and accusing eyes.