From Past To Present, I Still Love You

The reason to why Jaemin kept this routine was because he didn"t want the others to become suspicious of the sudden change if he stopped being with Jihee and hung out with Jaeun. She wasn"t sure what he exactly meant but since he was the smarter one out of the two, she just went along with the flow. After all, she was grateful that he was spending his precious time with her to begin with. He only wished for the best.

When night came, the two siblings would watch the stars from her window. Jaemin crossed his legs while Jaeun brought her knees to her chest. This was the only time Jaeun felt safe. It was calming. To be with someone who wanted to be by her side.

"You know what I heard?" Jaemin said, breaking the silence.

She turned towards him. "What did you hear?"

He paused for a moment.

"That it would"ve been better if you weren"t born."

Upon hearing his words, her whole body froze up. Although she was used to hearing statements like this, it was different when her brother said it. For some reason, she felt as if he was the one who believed these words.

Jaemin placed his hand against her back, trying to calm her down. There was a warm smile on his face. A brotherly smile. "It"s okay. I know that you"re worth so much more than people believe…"

Even his words didn"t heal her broken heart. She placed her hands on her face, trying to hide the tears falling down her cheeks. Why was she crying? She couldn"t understand her own feelings.

"Brother?"

"Yes dear sister?"

"Why are you telling me this?"

There was a pause. Jaemin looked up at the stars. "Because I care for you."

"What do you mean? Why would you say something that would clearly hurt me?"

He ruffled her hair. "I"m telling you so that you get stronger. When I see you, no offence, but I pity you. While Jaeun is striving, you aren"t doing anything to surpa.s.s her. Sure, you"re trying your hardest in your music and academic subjects but has that done anything to you?"

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn"t rival a prodigy. She shook her head. Her voice came out as a whisper. "No."

"Then you have to find another way to beat her. To show that you are the best sibling. That you should"ve been the one to be born, not her. Do you understand?"

Her heart warmed up. Truly she only had her brother. He was only saying these things to make her stronger. To help her beat her sister.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome."

For the first time, in a long time, she was happy. She planned not to disappoint him. She was going to become better than her sister.

But happiness never lasts long in the Moon household. In fact, it barely exists.

Blood dripped down Jaeun"s fingers onto the floor. The sound of wood slapping skin echoed through the air.

Her mother watched. Jihee watched. The teacher hit. There was not a whisper in the air except for her whimpers.

Once the teacher was done, she crossed her hands and placed the b.l.o.o.d.y stick on the desk. A sigh escaped her lips. "Why are you so useless? A disgrace to the Moon family? It"s a pity you"re twins with your sister. She doesn"t deserve your t.i.tle to be linked with hers."

Mother stayed silent. Jihee stayed silent.

Usually, Jaeun would fill her heart with self-hate for being the one at fault. Compared to Jihee, it was obvious that she lacked in talent. However, for the first time, she thought differently. A sudden realization hit her chest at this very moment. Upon hearing Jaemin"s words she realized that she wasn"t the useless one. She was normal. She glanced at her perfect sister.

The reason to why she was treated so terribly was because her t.i.tle was linked with hers. She would forever be compared to her sister.

She placed her hands against her chest. What was this dark feeling erupting in her chest? For the first time, she saw her sister in a different light. A negative one. She felt hatred.

A few days later, to her surprise, Jaemin placed his thumb over her bandaged wounds. Normally, n.o.body would bother to notice her bandages. Even Jihee, her beloved sister would try to avoid making eye-contact with those bloodied white patches.

There was pained expression on his face. "You know what"s funny?"

She turned towards him. "What"s funny?"

"It"s weird how the violin teacher hits your hands out of all places. When you play the violin, you can"t play properly if your hands are hurt. It"s as if she"s purposely hurting your hands so that you fail. Funny right?"

She couldn"t laugh. It wasn"t funny.

That night Jaeun couldn"t sleep.

She grabbed her hands and tried to withhold the pain. They burned. She couldn"t handle it.

Although Jaemin hadn"t explicitly said it, the puzzle pieces came together. n.o.body expected her to excel in anything. In fact, they were punishing her for the sake of it. Instead of wanting her to succeed, they were preventing her growth to begin with.

Why?

Because only one of them could become the best. They chose Jihee. Everyone choose Jihee. Jaeun was just the p.a.w.n to show an example of what would happen if Jihee would fail.

The next day, Jaeun secretly brought Jaemin to her room. She told him all her discoveries and thoughts. The reason to why she wasn"t able to succeed.

"I"m glad that you finally realized," he said. "I was tired of dropping hints."

"Thank you brother," she said with a pained smile. Although it hurt, she was thankful that he was educating her on what her reality was.

"I mean, in the end, only one twin could be happy right? Our family has always been that way. Only one person could become the head. In the end, unless Jihee makes a mistake or disappears, you are never going to be happy."

His explicit words surprised her. She hadn"t thought that far. For some reason, his words lingered in her brain that week. They never left her mind, haunting her in her sleep.

Only one twin could be happy.

Everything made sense.

In fact, her theory was proven a few days later. While Jaemin and Jaeun were playing on the field, Jaeun had accidently tripped. She was brought to the hospital where they had announced that her arm was broken.

During the span of those weeks, not once had Jaeun been hit with the stick. Her hands began to heal. She didn"t realize her palms could be so beautiful. Since Jihee could not play, the teacher didn"t bother to use physical methods.

In fact, for the first time, she got a compliment.

"You"re playing has improved."

That whole day, Jaeun skipped and hummed around the house, a smile never leaving her face. She was happy.

But the moment Jihee healed her arm, the cuts came back. She was punished again.

It was true. Only one twin could be happy.

That night Jaeun cried. She didn"t even allow Jaemin to enter her room. She wanted to be alone where n.o.body could see her. Why was life so painful? In the end, even if Jihee was her twin, with her existence, Jaeun"s life was h.e.l.l. There was no light in her path.

She was the one who would eventually die in sorrow.

Jaemin was right. With the current events, this was her fate. She needed to do something.

And then one day, a new development had struck in Jaeun"s life. For once, the three were hanging out together. They were sitting by the balcony, staring onto the field.

"I wanted to hang out with you," Jihee said with a smile. "You"re my dear sister. We should be with each other more often."

Jaeun didn"t agree. She didn"t want to be near Jihee, but she swallowed her unhappiness and smiled. "Okay."

Jiheec.o.c.ked her head while looking at the view. "It"s so nice being up here… The bars bother me though." She paused for a moment before letting out a giggle. "I found a solution."

Jihee proceeded to climb them, bringing herself to the ledge. She looked carefree as if there was no danger in her falling.

Jaeun hands hurt again.

Only one twin could be happy.

She glanced over at her brother. There was that sinister expression on his face. It was telling her something.

Change your life. Do it.

Without even realizing, she pushed Jihee. In her mind, all that was present was Jaemin"s words.

Jihee"s screams filled the air, piercing her ears, before they disappeared.

Red. All she saw was red. And screaming. Everyone was screaming. She turned to Jaemin, her loving brother, only to find him looking at her in disgust. Horror filled his face.

"You killed her."

She looked down at her hands. They were red. The same red liquid on Jihee"s clothes. Were they red because of her cuts or because she killed her sister? Was there even a difference?