Something had already told him that his grandfather would depend upon him for complete relief,-and it was that something that had gripped his heart when he entered the sick-room, and still gripped it with all the infernal tenacity of inevitableness.
He hurried on, like one hunted and in search of a place in which to hide until the chase had pa.s.sed. At the foot of the stairs he came upon Murray, the butler.
"Mrs. Thorpe says that you are to go to your old room, Mr. Braden," said the butler. "Will you care for tea, sir, or would you prefer something a little stronger?"
"Nothing, Murray, thank you," replied Braden, cold with a strange new terror. He could not put aside the impression that Murray, the bibulous Murray, was also regarding him in the light of an executioner. Somewhere back in his memory there was aroused an old story about the citizens who sat up all night to watch for the coming of the hangman who was to do a grewsome thing at dawn. He tried to shake off the feeling, he tried to laugh at the fantastic notion that had so swiftly a.s.sailed him. "I think I shall go to my room. Call me, if I am needed."
He did not want to see Anne. He shrank from the revelations that were certain to come from the hara.s.sed wife of the old man who wanted to die.
As he remounted the stairs, he was subtly aware that some one opened a door below and watched him as he fled. He did not look behind, but he knew that the watcher was white-faced and pleading, and that she too was counting on him for support.
An hour later, a servant knocked at his door. The afternoon was far gone and the sky was overcast with sinister streaks of clouds that did not move, but hung like vast Zeppelins over the harbour beyond: long, blue- black clouds with white bellies. Mournful clouds that waited for the time to come when they could burst into tears! He had been watching them as they crept up over the Jersey sh.o.r.es, great stealthy birds of ill-omen, giving out no sound yet ponderous in their flight. He started at the gentle tapping on his door; a strange hope possessed his soul. Was this a friendly hand that knocked? Was its owner bringing him the word that the end had come and that he would not be called upon to deny the great request? He sprang to the door.
"Dr. Bates is below, sir," said the maid. "He would like to see you before he goes."
Braden"s heart sank. "I"ll come at once, Katie."
There were three doctors in the library. Dr. Bates went straight to the point.
"Your grandfather, Braden, has a very short time to live. He has just dismissed us. Our services are no longer required in this case, if I-"
"Dismissed you?" cried Braden, unbelievingly.
Dr. Bates smiled. "We can do nothing more for him, my boy. It is just as well that we should go. He-"
"But, my G.o.d, sir, you cannot leave him to die in-"
"Have patience, my lad. We are not leaving him to die alone. By his express command, we are turning the case over to you. You are to be his sole-"
"I refuse!" shouted Braden.
"You cannot refuse,-you will not, I am sure. For your benefit I may say that the case is absolutely hopeless. Not even a miracle can save him. If you will give me your closest attention, I will, with Dr. Bray"s support, describe his condition and all that has led up to this unhappy crisis. Sit down, my boy. I am your good friend. I am not your critic, nor your traducer. Sit down and listen calmly, if you can. You should know just what is before you, and you must also know that every surgeon who has been called in consultation expresses but one opinion. In truth, it is not an opinion that they venture, but an unqualified decision."
For a long time Braden sat as if paralysed and listened to the words of the fine old doctor. At last the three arose and stood over him.
"You understand everything now, Braden," said Dr. Bates, a tremor in his voice. "May G.o.d direct your course. We shall not come here again. You are not to feel that we are deserting you, however, for that is not true. We go because you have come, because you have been put in sole charge. And now, my boy, I have something else to say to you as an old friend. I know your views. Not I alone, but Dr. Bray and thousands of others, have felt as you feel about such things. There have been countless instances, like the one at hand, when we have wished that we might be faithless to the tenets of a n.o.ble profession. But we have never faltered. It is not our province to be merciful, if I may put it in that way, but to be conscientious. It is our duty to save, not to destroy. That is what binds every doctor to his patient. Take the advice of an old man, Braden, and don"t allow your pity to run away with your soul. Take my advice, lad. Let G.o.d do the deliberate killing. He will do it in his own good time, for all of us. I speak frankly, for I know you consider me your friend and well- wisher."
"Thank you, Dr. Bates," said Braden, hoa.r.s.ely. "The advice is not needed, however. I am not a murderer. I could not kill that poor old man upstairs, no matter how dreadfully he suffers. I fear that you have overlooked the fact that I am an advocate, not a performer, of merciful deeds. You should not confuse my views with my practice. I advocate legalising the destruction of the hopelessly afflicted. Inasmuch as it is not a legal thing to do at present, I shall continue to practise my profession as all the rest of you do: conscientiously." He was standing before them. His face was white and his hands were clenched.
"I am glad to hear you say that, Braden," said Dr. Bates gently. "Forgive me. One last word, however. If you need me at any time, I stand ready to come to you. If you conclude to operate, I-I shall advise against it, of course,-you may depend upon me to be with you when you-"
"But you have said, Dr. Bates, that you do not believe an operation would be of-"
"In my opinion it would be fatal. But you must not forget that G.o.d rules, not we mortals. We do not know everything. I am frank to confess that there is not one among us who is willing to take the chance, if that is a guide to you. That"s all, my boy. Good-bye. G.o.d be with you!"
They pa.s.sed out of and away from the house.
CHAPTER XII
In the course of the evening, desolated by the ugly responsibility that had been thrust upon him, Braden put aside his scruples, his antipathy, and sent word to Anne that he would like to discuss the new situation with her. She had not appeared for dinner, which was a doleful affair; she did not even favour him with an apology for not coming down. Distasteful as the interview promised to be for him, he realised that it should not be postponed. His grandfather"s wife would have to be consulted. It was her right to decide who should attend the sick man. While he was acutely confident that she would not oppose his solitary attendance, there still struggled in his soul the hope that she might, for the sake of appearances at least, insist on calling in other physicians. It was a hope that he dared not encourage, however. Fate had settled the matter. It was ordained that he should stand where he now stood in this unhappy hour.
He recalled his grandfather"s declaration that she still loved him. The thought turned him sick with loathing, for he believed in his heart that it was true. He knew that Anne loved him, and always would love him. But he also knew that every vestige of love and respect for her had gone out of his heart long ago and that he now felt only the bitterness of disillusionment so far as she was concerned. He was not afraid of her. She had lost all power to move a single drop of blood in his veins. But he was afraid _for_ her.
She came downstairs at nine o"clock. He had not gone near the sick-room since his initial visit, earlier in the day, literally obeying the command of the sick man: to talk matters over with Anne before coming again to see him.
"I am sorry to have kept you waiting," she said simply, as she advanced into the room. "I have been talking over the telephone with my mother. She does not come here any more. It has been nearly three weeks since she last came to see me. The dread of it all, don"t you know. She is positive that she has all of the symptoms. I suppose it is a not uncommon fault of the imagination. Of course, I go to see her every afternoon. I see no one else, Braden, except good old Simmy Dodge. He stops in nearly every day to inquire, and to cheer me up if possible."
She was attired in a simple evening gown,-an old one, she hastily would have informed a woman visitor,-and it was hard for him to believe that this was not the lovely, riant Anne Tresslyn of a year ago instead of the hardened mistress of Templeton Thorpe"s home. There was no sign of confusion or uncertainty in her manner, and not the remotest indication that her heart still owned love for him. If she retained a spark of the old flame in that beautiful body of hers, it was very carefully secreted behind a mask of indifference. She met his gaze frankly, unswervingly. Her poise was perfect,-marvellously so in the face of his ill-concealed antipathy.
"I suppose you know that I have been left in sole charge of the case," he said, without preface.
"Oh, yes," she replied calmly. "It was Mr. Thorpe"s desire."
"And yours?"
"Certainly. Were you hoping that I would interpose an objection?"
"Yes. I am not qualified to take charge of-"
"Pardon me, Braden, if I remind you, that so far as Mr. Thorpe"s chances for recovery are concerned, he might safely be attended by the simplest novice. The result would be the same." She spoke without a trace of irony.
"Dr. Bates and the others were willing to continue, but what was the use?
They do not leave you a thing to stand on, Braden. There is nothing that you can do. I am sorry. It seems a pity for you to have come home to this."
He smiled faintly, whether at her use of the word "home" or the prospect she laid down for him it would be difficult to say.
"Shall we sit down, Anne, and discuss the situation?" he said. "It is one of my grandfather"s orders, so I suppose we shall have to obey."
She sank gracefully into a deep chair at the foot of the library table, and motioned for him to take one near-by. The light from the chandelier fell upon her brown hair, and glinted.
"It is very strange, Braden, that we should come into each other"s lives again, and in this manner. It seems so long ago-"
"Is it necessary to discuss ourselves, Anne?"
She regarded him steadily. "Yes, I think so," she said. "We must at least convince ourselves that the past has no right to interfere with or overshadow what we may choose to call the present,-or the future, for that matter, if I may look a little farther ahead. The fact remains that we are here together, Braden, in spite of all that has happened, and we must make the best of it. The world,-our own little world, I mean,-will be watching us. We must watch ourselves. Oh, don"t misconstrue that remark, please. We must see to it that the world does not judge us entirely by our past." She was very cool about it, he thought,-and confident.
"As I said before, Anne, I see no occasion to-"
"Very well," she interrupted. "I beg your pardon. You asked me to see you to-night. What is it that you wish to say to me?"
He leaned forward in the chair, his elbows on the arms of it, and regarded her fixedly. "Has my grandfather ever appealed to you to-to-" He stopped, for she had turned deathly pale; she closed her eyes tightly as if to shut out some visible horror; a perceptible shudder ran through her slender body. As Braden started to rise, she raised her eye-lids, and in her lovely eyes he saw horror, dread, appeal, all in one. "I"m sorry," he murmured, in distress "I should have been more-"
"It"s all right," she said, recovering herself with an effort. "I thought I had prepared myself for the question you were so sure to ask. I have been through h.e.l.l in the past two weeks, Braden. I have had to listen to the most infamous proposals-but perhaps it would be better for me to repeat them to you just as they were made to me, and let you judge for yourself."
She leaned back in the chair, as if suddenly tired. Her voice was low and tense, and at no time during her recital did she raise it above the level at which she started. Plainly, she was under a severe strain and was afraid that she might lose control of herself.
It appeared that Mr. Thorpe had put her to the supreme test. In brief, he had called upon his young wife to put him out of his misery! Cunningly, he had beset her with the most amazing temptations. Her story was one of those incredible things that one cannot believe because the mind refuses to entertain the utterly revolting. In the beginning the old man, consumed by pain, implored her to perform a simple act of mercy. He told her of the four little pellets and the gla.s.s of water. At that time she treated the matter lightly. The next day he began his sly, persistent campaign against what he was pleased to call her inhumanity; he did not credit her with scruples. There was something Machiavellian in the sufferer"s scheming. He declared that there could be no criminal intent on her part, therefore her conscience would never be afflicted. The fact that he consented to the act was enough to clear her conscience, if that was all that restrained her.